Archives

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately, I find that whenever I schedule even the most mundane of appointments, I am endlessly nagged by correspondence from the host: “Please confirm Lady Tuna’s rabies booster appo... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at the dentist last week and the hygienist, whom I had never met before, mentioned she had a new grandchild. I naturally congratulated her and asked the polite questions: sex,... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a small, family-owned business where a few employees have dietary restrictions, some by choice and some by medical necessity.... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a very cliquey condo community, and I feel left out when I don’t get invited to the lunches or dinners out with the other ladies. And then I feel even more left out when s... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you go about declining when someone who just isn’t your type asks you out or asks for your phone number?... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a music festival, where I wore pasties instead of a top. While there, I actually ran into a group of co-workers, who all had a good laugh at seeing me in such a state of ... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a female student, and I have a situation where a male classmate inappropriately chimes in on personal conversations. For example, I was asking my friends about a type of bra, a... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a large city, and used to enjoy going out to lunch or dinner with friends. However, the loud music combined with the lack of sound-absorbing materials in restaurants have ... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a professor at a small university. One of my colleagues has the annoying habit of entering my office without knocking. These are not social visits: She invariably needs help wi... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have just received a delivery notice that two bottles of wine are on the way to me. This is the fourth such delivery, from a financial professional who manages some of my accounts... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: You must be really happy that the Secretary of Transportation has told us poor wretches who fly economy to dress up for the privilege. Hats and gloves, naturally. I have my grandfat... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over the years, I have noticed that at most live performances -- from professional concerts and operas to dance recitals and school plays -- the audience automatically gives a stand... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a single man who inherited, from my parents and grandparents, both a love of entertaining and also a great deal of the trappings needed -- china, crystal, linen, silver -- that... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Strangers want to make small talk with me while waiting in grocery checkout lines, at bus stops, at the bank, during flights, etc. I do not want to make friends with strangers every... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a freelance journalist who has been living, off and on, in the private room of a hostel off the beaten path. I love the place because it’s gorgeous and usually has excellent vi... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I think the reason that people think using “ma’am” or “sir” is offensive stems from the idea that you have to assume someone’s gender identity in order to use them.... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am getting married in a traditional church ceremony. My father, who will be giving me away, has refused to wear a tuxedo on the grounds that it is a “monkey suit,” even though all... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I got married recently. It is a second marriage for both of us, but our first weddings were two decades ago, and we wanted to have a special event that really felt like a wedding.... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What degree of formality is proper for a musician at an afternoon concert?... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Elevators have been in existence, I believe, for more than 150 years, but there does not seem to be a system of accepted manners related to them.... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Nearly three decades ago, my husband committed a serious crime. He faced the consequences, served his sentence, and has since built a quiet, responsible life. He has taken full acco... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am still not inured to the rampant trend of women tattooing their hands, feet, arms, backs and even faces. I don’t believe at all that I am old-fashioned, but defacing one’s body ... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I regret to tell you that, in the modern parlance, “You’re welcome” isn’t polite. It is currently more polite to say “No problem” or “No worries,” which imply that whatever was done... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a choking incident at the office today when I inhaled a cherry tomato.... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at a store with narrow aisles. I turned down an aisle that had two women with carts. The first woman I encountered completely ignored me, so I gently pushed my cart past. The ... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I frequently attend team lunches and dinners with my immediate department members, both supervisors and associates. These dining experiences are mostly personal affairs and come aft... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I do a lot of recreational traveling. In some cases, we take local tours. I’m finding that these tours often include a significant number of comments using America as... more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went to stay with a dear friend of many years who had moved several states away. Never having stayed at her house before, I was dismayed to find that the television in the main li... more