DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have just received a delivery notice that two bottles of wine are on the way to me. This is the fourth such delivery, from a financial professional who manages some of my accounts. I have always sent a nice thank-you afterwards.

The problem: I don’t drink wine! I just give it to someone who does appreciate it.

What bothers me is that while I am not an alcoholic, I have close friends and family who are. I think it is quite thoughtless for a professional hoping to curry favor to send a gift that could be really offensive, or even harmful, to someone. What if he sent a box of cigars to someone who was trying to quit smoking?

My husband says, “People just give wine. Nobody thinks about it.” Should I just keep saying "thank you" and not mentioning that it ends up in other hands?

GENTLE READER: Not all presents succeed, which is a good reason not to direct them to people you know nothing about, as a business ploy.

Kind-hearted folks keep telling Miss Manners that donating to charity in other people’s honor should, in effect, replace the custom of giving presents. Those having an event -- a wedding, birthday party or such -- that is associated with presents, but who don’t want stuff, often suggest making a charitable donation instead. Those who don’t know what to give make donations in the names of people to whom they owe presents.

And donating to charity is the common solution for disposing of unwanted presents, but that is kind of problematic in this particular case. It often is, when the recipient has no interest in -- or even objects to -- the charity.

And what a shame it would be to destroy the ancient custom of exchanging symbols of thoughtfulness.

If this were from friends, it would be unkind to let them know how thoughtless their presents were. But a business acquaintance who is not expected to know your preferences may be thanked and then told, “Actually, we do not drink.”

And your husband is correct that wine has become merely a default offering, especially as host presents. Never mind that this used to be considered insulting -- not because of anything related to alcohol problems, but because it insinuated that the host’s wine wouldn’t be drinkable.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I retired a few years ago. I use words like stewardess, actress and waitress. My sister tells me that these words are no longer in use.

Are these words obsolete? Has the woke mob been tampering with our dictionary?

GENTLE READER: Surely you must have been wide awake enough to notice that the person who delivered your peanuts on an airplane was sometimes male, and that another male sometimes took your order at the local eatery.

Yes, various jobs are no longer gender-specific.

Miss Manners would be sorry to think that retirement had left you oblivious to the dynamics of life, which, indeed, lexicographers must follow. You may not always like the way the world evolves, but to deny it is to condemn yourself to social stagnation.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: You must be really happy that the Secretary of Transportation has told us poor wretches who fly economy to dress up for the privilege. Hats and gloves, naturally. I have my grandfather’s old fedora, but my wife might have to buy new white gloves.

But why stop at the Perfect 1950s? Shouldn’t red-eye flights require tuxedos and evening gowns, like in the time of the great ships?

GENTLE READER: Yes, let’s use those ships for comparison rather than the 1950s, to which Miss Manners ascribes considerably less charm and glamour than you seem to.

Those who dressed up were traveling in opulent settings, with luxurious food and entertainment. But the great ocean liners also had steerage class, in which passengers were kept in crowded, primitive accommodations with minimal rations. They were not expected to dress up.

Which part of the ship most resembles today’s air travel?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems that more people are now issuing invitations to “come for drinks” in the early evening, with no plans for dinner to follow. We have come to enjoy this type of socializing, and have extended similar invitations.

I would like Miss Manners to clarify the proper amount of time these get-togethers should last. I have always assumed an hour, or 90 minutes at most. However, as hosts, we have had people stay beyond that, and as guests, we have been urged to remain longer, as well.

I never want to overstay my welcome, nor do I want my dinner in the warming drawer to dry out. At the same time, I do not want to appear to “drink and run” by leaving too soon.

If it were a cocktail party, the invitation would likely say “Come for cocktails from 5:30 to 7,” but that feels a bit awkward when inviting just one couple. I would appreciate your guidance to being both a better host and guest!

GENTLE READER: In the heyday of cocktail parties, it was no secret that guests who went after the munchies could skip dinner. There was always a soft murmur going on, with one half of a couple telling the other half not to expect a meal at home after the party. To avoid excessive lingering, the closing hour -- not a standard feature of other invitations -- was, as you note, stated explicitly.

So the first rule for just one couple is not to spoil their dinner appetites. No heavy hors d’oeuvres! Maybe bowls of nuts?

Ninety minutes to two hours, the expected time to linger at a cocktail party, is also reasonable for "just drinks." In any case, one should not stay beyond the common dinner hour of 7 p.m., even if urged otherwise -- unless it is in the form of, “Let’s all go somewhere for dinner.”

All but the terminally obtuse should note that when food and drinks are no longer being offered, it is time to go. But you seem to have encountered such folks.

The next step is to stand up while talking to them. Eventually, they will have to pull themselves up. And you may thank them for having come. In stubborn cases, you could add, “We hope to see you again soon” while moving slowly toward the door.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over the years, I have noticed that at most live performances -- from professional concerts and operas to dance recitals and school plays -- the audience automatically gives a standing ovation at the end.

I grew up believing that a standing ovation was an expression of appreciation for a truly extraordinary performance -- a performance at which the audience was so deeply moved that they couldn’t stay seated.

Now when I attend performances and I am satisfied or pleased, but not overcome with emotion, I feel churlish for staying seated when everyone else is standing and yelling “bravo” or “brava.”

What is the etiquette for appreciating live performances these days? Should I give in to peer pressure and stand, even if my opinion of the performance is “meh”?

GENTLE READER: No, you do not need to stand for a "meh" performance.

But Miss Manners also knows that sometimes one has no choice, if one wants to see the curtain call. In that case, the enthusiasm with which one applauds may be emphatically lessened.

That will teach 'em.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My two daughters (ages 23 and 34) are beautiful and talented women. They work hard and usually make me proud -- except on their birthdays.

For the past several years, on their respective birthdays, they each put up links on social media to their money apps and ask people to send them birthday “gifts.” I find it in poor taste, and it embarrasses me.

Am I overreacting? Is this normal, acceptable behavior these days?

GENTLE READER: Normal? Yes. Acceptable? No.

As their parent, you have the obligation, in Miss Manners’ opinion, to tell them that you find this embarrassing. When they inevitably plead that “everyone does it,” you maintain that that argument did not hold water when they were 11, and it does not now.

If you do not get ahead of this, they will go on to do far worse for other milestones (housewarmings, engagement parties, weddings) where this kind of begging is considered even more “normal.” And as a possible host or co-host of these events, your own involvement is more direct -- and therefore even more embarrassing.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a small half-bathroom downstairs that is mainly used by guests. As a courtesy, I usually have period products readily available to visitors. For larger gatherings, I’ve had them in plain sight of anyone using the restroom, but normally they’re stowed under the sink.

How should I store these sensitive items to be available to guests? Should I assume people will do a quick search under the sink if they’re in a pinch, or is it best to just have them out?

GENTLE READER: Is there a pretty, opaque container that you can put them in on a shelf? Putting them out in the open is a bit unseemly, and under-the-sink snooping is not something Miss Manners necessarily wants to encourage. You never know what can get thrown in there when one is cleaning up quickly for guests.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)