DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am still not inured to the rampant trend of women tattooing their hands, feet, arms, backs and even faces. I don’t believe at all that I am old-fashioned, but defacing one’s body will never be attractive.

What am I to say to a woman -- “What a pretty tattoo. It really enhances your dainty feet”?

GENTLE READER: And what sarcastic remark would you like that lady to make while critically assessing your appearance?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a large city and take public transportation almost daily. I am 80 years old. The busses and trains have seats up front that are clearly marked for seniors and people with disabilities.

But they are often filled with young people who appear quite fit and healthy. They are also occupied by people with babies or children in large strollers that take up multiple seats.

The bus drivers do nothing to enforce the rules, and we seniors are left trudging down the bus aisle while the people in the seats smirk, look at their phones and talk to each other.

Any suggestions? When traveling with a young child, I used to bring a small collapsible stroller, which I folded up and put my child on my lap. No one does that where I live anymore.

GENTLE READER: It was another Gentle Reader who once came up with the polite way to handle this situation. The idea is to target a passenger who is young and unencumbered; approach them, smile and say, “Thank you so much for saving that seat for me.”

Miss Manners hates to encumber this delicious solution, but must add some caveats. First, not all disabilities are clearly visible. There may be young people who are legitimately occupying those seats.

Secondly, please grant some leeway to people with small children. It may not be easy to keep control of a collapsible stroller, let alone a small child.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a lovely couple in their 30s in my community who have gone through fertility struggles. They have just posted an online campaign with the goal of raising money to go toward adoption costs.

Although I understand their desire to have a child, I find this very inappropriate.

I’ve seen jars looking for donations for honeymoons, money to offset the cost of a wedding, trips abroad and now adopting a baby! Frankly, I am appalled.

GENTLE READER: Indeed, begging -- the humiliating last resource of desperate people -- has now become commonplace among those who want help with their bills or luxuries they cannot afford.

Not that Miss Manners considers having children a luxury. It should be available to all, but it is highly expensive, and the enormous cost of adoption fees (or fertility treatments) would be just the beginning. Will this couple go on to beg for money for the child care, education, medical attention and other necessities the child will require?

She can understand why people sympathize with this couple. But others have their own expenses, and cannot be expected to subsidize those who are presumably capable of managing their own lives.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I regret to tell you that, in the modern parlance, “You’re welcome” isn’t polite. It is currently more polite to say “No problem” or “No worries,” which imply that whatever was done, the doer was happy to do it.

On the other hand, “You’re welcome” is passive-aggressive and means to communicate that the recipient better be thankful, because the situation was an imposition.

I’m not saying that others intend anything impolite, especially if they are older as well, but they should be made aware of how the term is currently being used.

GENTLE READER: Oh, please. Unless you find that word offensive, too.

Miss Manners has defended “No problem” and “No worries” from those who find them offensive, claiming that they suggest that a request might have been a problem or a worry. It strikes her as a reasonable response, equivalent to the conventional replies in several Romance languages.

But would all of you just please stop looking for trouble? It does not contribute to the general level of civility to brand well-intentioned, common expressions as insults.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you get people to RSVP in a timely manner? My suggestion is to mention, in your invitation, that you have only a specific number of dinners, special treats, surprise gifts/goodie bags, etc. -- and that guests should reply if they want a shot at them.

GENTLE READER: Has it come to that? Hosts have to bribe prospective guests to acknowledge their offers of hospitality?

Miss Manners has noticed that forms for responding to social invitations have gotten harsher and harsher, as prospective guests have gotten increasingly more callous.

Long ago, invitations did not request responses. It was thought that -- duh! -- if you were asked to go somewhere, you would have the sense, not to mention the decency, to say whether you would or wouldn’t.

If someone said, “Want to get a beer?” would you just sit silently and say nothing? But apparently that is what many people do when asked to come to a dinner -- or to a wedding.

So disgruntled hosts started asking outright for replies. And to Miss Manners’ annoyance, they popularized a French abbreviation, which baffles many and mangles the language. (“Rsvp” is not a verb, should not be preceded with “please” as that is already built in, and only the first letter should be uppercase.)

Asking for replies rarely works, so hosts started adding deadlines -- which are also often ignored. And now you want to add bribes.

Here is a question to which Miss Manners would appreciate an answer: Why you want to entertain people who cannot be bothered to answer you?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been told that one should tip a barber. I also have been told that doing so is not necessary if the barber owns the barbershop. Is this true?

GENTLE READER: Depends on whom you ask. Miss Manners is guessing that the first answer came from the owner of the barbershop.

The idea is that owners of businesses are above accepting tips, which are for underpaid workers, including barbers. But as you probably discovered, the owners don’t all feel that way.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a choking incident at the office today when I inhaled a cherry tomato.

One of my direct reports did the Heimlich maneuver and helped loosen it, and then one of the guys from another department joined in to keep the tomato moving. As I recovered, a secretary from down the hall put a cold compress on my neck and forehead.

I want to thank them, but don’t quite know the right thing to do. Any suggestions?

GENTLE READER: Ummm ... Thank them?

Whether you do it in person or in a letter is up to you. But constantly bringing it up in meetings and office parties, telling everyone that these people are national heroes who saved your life, Miss Manners thinks, would be the best way of all.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Over the last decade, I lost my mobility and now use a wheelchair. The family of my partner still invites both of us to family events at their home, even though it is inaccessible to me. They are aware that while I used to be able to walk up the steps to their home and navigate spaces without the wheelchair, I am no longer able to.

I can’t figure out if they still invite me so I know they aren’t trying to exclude me, or if they think that if I only tried hard enough, I could change the medical issues that make the wheelchair a necessity.

I am struggling with how to feel. I thought that your insight would be helpful on how to treat invitations from friends who know that you cannot access the space they are inviting you to.

GENTLE READER: Well ... You could presume that they are not trying to subliminally insult you, and just ask if there is another way to access their house.

Miss Manners is not trying to insult you herself. She just thinks that if you assume the best, you may also be able to solve the problem. Or not. But at least this way, you will have alerted them to the fact that there is one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If someone donates to an online campaign to finance an expensive, but potentially life-saving, surgery for an acquaintance, friend or family member, and then -- while the beneficiary is under the knife -- he at last receives approval from his health insurer for coverage of the surgery, which had until then been denied, is it good manners, or even ethical, for the beneficiary to donate the campaign donations to a nonprofit of their choosing? Even if the beneficiary has mentioned in his plea for funds that any extra would go to said nonprofit?

GENTLE READER: Well, he did warn you.

The scrutiny of any future requests, Miss Manners believes, is what will really hurt him -- and the rest of your circle -- the next time a lifesaving surgery is needed.

If your rightful indignation will allow you to say it politely, you could mention this to him. Just be prepared for pushback and the assurance that the money will go not only toward his worthy nonprofit, but also for his recovery. Which you can then only hope does not take place at a lavish seaside resort.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)