DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a very cliquey condo community, and I feel left out when I don’t get invited to the lunches or dinners out with the other ladies. And then I feel even more left out when someone who moved out of our community still gets included in these events.

I know I can’t say anything about this to the people in question. I just need to know how to not feel so hurt. Please give me some words of wisdom.

GENTLE READER: Two words: Invite them.

Miss Manners would like to remind you gently that a condo is not high school. People form friendships for various reasons, but they are not likely to take gleeful pleasure in excluding certain individuals. (Apologies to the nice high school students. She didn’t mean you.)

Rather, your neighbors probably got used to socializing with the same people and simply don’t think of adding you to the guest list. And the former neighbor is still included because she became their friend -- which is what you should take the initiative to do.

One way is to strike up a conversation and then suggest coffee or lunch. If your building has a common area, go there with a book and be on the lookout for anyone approachable. The elevator or the mail room will also do, or the condo board meetings.

You could post a notice asking if anyone would like to get up a game of bridge, or whatever you might play. Or you could knock on a neighbor’s door and introduce yourself, even if you do not need to borrow a cup of sugar.

And yes, you can do that. It just requires taking advantage of having outgrown one's shy teenage years.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An acquaintance is expecting her first child soon, and I would like to send some kind of gift. I have known her since we were young children, but I currently engage with her only occasionally, in a professional (yet friendly) capacity.

I am not sure what is appropriate, or whether giving a gift in this context -- when I am only on the periphery of her social and professional circles -- could somehow be considered rude. I really just want to do something nice, but I’m not sure what is correct.

GENTLE READER: People do not generally express rudeness through presents. Unless, of course, they send objects that are set to explode when opened.

Nevertheless, Miss Manners appreciates your delicacy in not wanting to make this old acquaintance feel that she has been socially neglectful of you, and that she must, for example, hastily ask that you be added to the guest list for the baby shower.

You could avoid that by waiting until the baby is born, and then sending a token present with your congratulations -- nothing overwhelming, and perhaps with a fond reference to your shared childhoods.

Anyone who is not touched with that, much less anyone who would consider it rude, should probably not be rearing a child.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you go about declining when someone who just isn’t your type asks you out or asks for your phone number?

I have been nice and said things like, “I’m not dating right now,” or even, “I really only want to date someone of my faith.”

Some men just don’t seem to get the hint. How do you politely say, "It’s you, personally, I am not interested in"?

GENTLE READER: Oddly enough, people do not like being told that they are unattractive, especially by those they find attractive -- no matter how delicately this is worded.

And those excuses will just get you into trouble. If you use the line about your faith, suppose someone replied, "But I was hoping you would convert me."

The lack of an excuse will actually make your refusal clearer: just “Thank you for asking, but no, I think not.” This can simply be repeated in case of any ill-advised follow-ups.

As for the request for your telephone number, Miss Manners suggests putting a twist on the standard plea of busyness: “Why don’t you just give me yours? But frankly, I’m not sure I’ll be able to call because I’ve been very busy.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is planning a wedding in 14 months. We are currently looking at venues in the city where she lives, which is a six-hour drive from our hometown.

We know that many people she would want to invite will not be able to attend. We also know that the invitation list will be limited by the occupancy limits of the venues we are looking at.

Is there a polite way to use a save-the-date card to say, “We’d love for you to come, but if you know you can’t, let us know so we can expand our invitation list”? Is this something that I should just talk to our friends and family about, as the mother of the bride?

For instance, we have relatives on our tentative guest list whom we love, but who have children playing sports in the fall; they would probably choose not to miss their kids’ games to spend a weekend at a cousin’s wedding. Other potential invitees might have limited time off work. We have several elderly aunts who I feel certain are not up to the trip, but they are at the top of our “must invite” list.

GENTLE READER: Alas, there is no polite way to say, “Please come -- but we’d be grateful to hear that you won’t.”

It is never safe to presume which guests would decline. It is not even safe to count on any answers received this far in advance, as plans often change.

In an ideal world, you would know who is coming within a week of sending actual invitations, which is when prospective guests should respond. Ha.

Rather, when that time comes, you will probably have to call around to non-responders to find out. And if they say they are not sure, Miss Manners would condone your replying, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I know Brenda will be disappointed. But of course we understand.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a music festival, where I wore pasties instead of a top. While there, I actually ran into a group of co-workers, who all had a good laugh at seeing me in such a state of undress.

When I return to work, should I address the incident in any way, or should I pretend it never happened? Do I just laugh it off? I am pretty sure people will spread this story around the office, and it was obviously a bit embarrassing.

GENTLE READER: Let them have their laughs. Presumably you followed the festival directive: Scantily clad for maximum airflow.

Unless there are even more embarrassing photographs on social media, you need not submit your off-work life to their judgment. And if there are, Miss Manners suggests you delete them immediately.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am in the process of searching for a home for myself, my spouse and our young child. It will be a slight upgrade from the house we currently own, but we cannot afford anything large.

Many of the houses we view have three modest upstairs bedrooms, a kitchen and one large living/dining room downstairs. Thinking only of our own needs, we would be happy to turn the spare bedroom into a study and let the living/dining room be a playroom for our child. She can get a lot more use out of the floor space than we can as adults, especially during colder months.

I envision setting up an art table and art supply cabinet, various areas for pretend play, and a central dance area in this space. Any seating in this room would be appreciated only by those who enjoy being in the midst of kid activity.

If we were to set up our home this way, would it be rude for us to entertain guests (whether they come for a meal or merely to chat over tea) in our kitchen? Notice that I also do not have a dedicated spare bedroom in the above plan.

What rooms am I required by etiquette to have, even when square footage is limited?

GENTLE READER: This may come as a shock, but etiquette does not care how your house is laid out (or whether or not you have a guest room), only that you do your best to accommodate guests with seating and refreshments when they are there.

Therefore, Miss Manners condones entertaining in the kitchen and holding dance parties in the living room -- as well as the occasional chair made out of Legos for anyone who is up for it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve always wondered about this situation, which happens to me from time to time: Person A has finished their business in the restroom and opens the door, only to find Person B arriving to use the facilities.

Who has the “right of way” in this case -- the incoming person or the outgoing? Is there a proper etiquette?

Common sense tells me the incoming person probably has more of an urgent need, but maybe it’s not proper to let them in before the outgoing person exits.

GENTLE READER: The person leaving the facilities is usually allowed to exit first. But if the other person’s bathroom needs are that visibly urgent, Miss Manners suggests you get out of their way.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)