Archives

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m a freshman in college and for the first time in my life, I’m in a place where I don’t know anybody besides my roommate. ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I just lost my virginity, and I can’t stop thinking about how badly I might have screwed it up.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I hope you don’t mind me reaching out. I’m writing because I could really use your perspective right now. ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: This is a question I never thought I would have to ask: how do I help someone through a break up when they’re still in a relationship with me? I’m in a polyamorous relationship, w... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I struggle to understand my own desirability as a man. I don’t really know what it feels like to be wanted, what that looks like in the real world, or how I’m even supposed to go ... more

Doctor’s Note: This letter includes descriptions of emotional and sexual abuse. Please take care while reading.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I want to ask you a question that has been getting under my skin more than I expected, one that feels strangely fundamental in the age of app-based dating:... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m 18, not currently in a relationship and still a virgin. Throughout my high school years, I constantly heard my peers talk about their sex life, the guys they’re dating and more... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: Sorry to keep hitting up your inbox, but I wanted to offer an update that might save you a bit of work. ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m not really sure how to start with my question here. Basically, I’m a 25-year-old man, going to be 26 soon, and I haven’t had a real long-term romantic relationship since when I... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: Thank you for your help last time I wrote in. Two years later, I’ve been happily in a relationship for quite some time now and I’ve found that I’m in my happy place in a dedicated,... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’ve recently been set off by a new T-shirt being sold at Target that literally says “Dump Him.”... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m in my late 50s and newly divorced after decades of monogamous marriage. FWIW I’m a masculine-of-center lesbian, but I’m guessing my question is relevant to people of all gender... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: So, I’ve got a ‘fun’ one for you. It’s going to have layers upon layers of bulls--t, so please bear with me while I type it all out. Also, I get the impression that most of your au... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m writing because I’ve been stuck in a mental loop that’s slowly poisoning the way I see myself and how I experience desire.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’ve been lurking around your website for years now. And I love your articles. It really helped me.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I wrote you two times (once in October 2020 – “Was This Sexual Abuse” – and I can’t find the second letter), so let’s make a trilogy out of it.... more

Doctor’s Note: Around the start of a new year, I like to look back and re-answer some older questions as I would if I had received them today. Whenever possible, I answer them without having read my p... more

Doctor’s Note: Around the start of a new year, I like to look back and re-answer some older questions as I would if I had received them today. Whenever possible, I answer them without having read my p... more

Doctor’s Note: Around the start of a new year, I like to look back and re-answer some older questions as I would if I had received them today. Whenever possible, I answer them without having read my p... more

Doctor’s Note: Around the start of a new year, I like to look back and re-answer some older questions as I would if I had received them today. Whenever possible, I answer them without having read my p... more

Doctor’s Note: Around the start of a new year, I like to look back and re-answer some older questions as I would if I had received them today. Whenever possible, I answer them without having read my p... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: Doctor’s Note: Around the start of a new year, I like to look back and re-answer some older questions as I would if I had received them today. Whenever possible, I answer them with... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: My partner and I were broken up and then exploring getting back together while he was also dating a poly person. A few weeks in, he told me he’s poly and that’s non-negotiable. I t... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: When I first make a dating app profile, I feel a bit of hope that inevitably fades away after a couple weeks of no matches. I wish I could have a mutual infatuation with someone, b... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I’m an average looking man, and I think this means I’ll only ever pair up with average looking women. Because studies have shown that assortive mating is real. Meaning that people ... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: So the last few months I’ve been dedicating myself to dating.... more

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: My cousin and I have always been best friends since forever. We’ve always been more like sisters than cousins. Growing up, she’s always been stubborn and refused to conform to any ... more