2020 has presented challenges for all of us, not the least of which is the fear that life will never return to normal.

It’s been tough sometimes to be grateful, considering what is happening all around us. But I have an idea that a friend shared with me when I heard grumbling about not being able to go to a ball game, or gathering with friends, or having to cancel a long-awaited trip.

“Yes, I know it feels like so much has been taken from us. But there’s still plenty of material to mine,” she suggested. “Start by finding joy in small things. Think of all that you have instead of wishing for what you don’t have.”

Her point was simple: If you are not grateful for what you have, it is doubtful you will be grateful for what you will get.

I’ll admit, at first it took some time and thought to adjust my attitude. But once I started listing what I was grateful for, I just kept going. My list was pretty long. And most of the items were not “things” at all. They were the people and experiences in my life.

I’m betting that all of you can make a similar list if you try. Start looking for little things that you can appreciate.

November is National Gratitude Month. That seems logical, with Thanksgiving always falling on the fourth Thursday of November. But you don’t have to wait for Thanksgiving to show your gratitude and appreciation. There’s something to be grateful for every morning you wake up. Challenge yourself to greet each day with an attitude of gratitude.

In fact, there are some pretty significant physical and mental benefits to gratitude, which include:

-- Improved physical, emotional and social well-being.

-- Greater optimism and happiness.

-- Improved feelings of connection in times of loss or crises.crisis?

-- Increased self-esteem.

-- Heightened energy levels.

-- Strengthened heart, immune system and decreased blood pressure.

-- Expanded capacity for forgiveness.

-- Decreased stress, anxiety, depression and headaches.

-- Improved self-care and greater likelihood to exercise.

-- Heightened spirituality, i.e. the ability to see something bigger than ourselves.

That list alone should provide you impetus to look for reasons to be grateful for what you have. And remember, where you are isn’t where you have to stay. As you ponder the things that you are thankful for, you can also look forward to how you can use those gifts to move to the level where you want to be.

Maybe your job isn’t as challenging or fulfilling as you’d like it to be. But you have gained professional experience, developed people skills that could lead you to take on more responsibility, been provided opportunities to grow your network or discovered that your real passion lies in doing something different -- all while being able to pay the bills with, hopefully, a little left over. That kind of education is a reason for gratitude, especially when you move on to your new and better job.

Have you told the people around you how grateful you are for their roles in your life? Your words don't need to be flowery or formal, just sincere. You might be surprised at how they respond -- perhaps because no one has ever told them they’ve made a difference.

If a face-to-face conversation is awkward, why not go back to the best kind of mail anyone can receive: the old-fashioned hand-written thank-you note. And I don’t say that just because I’m an envelope guy!

Start looking around for reasons to be grateful. It won’t take long, and it won’t cost you anything. You don’t have to be a psychologist to understand that you are responsible for your own happiness and attitude.

A 4-year-old actress was appearing in a movie with an aging, crotchety star. One day, the star came on the set all made up beautifully, and the little girl said to her, “Gee, you look so nice.”

The actress made a pouty face and replied, “What am I supposed to say to that?”

The little girl politely remarked, “You could say thank you.”

Mackay’s Moral: Thanksgiving is good, but “thanksliving” is better.

A sixth-grade girl was running for the post of secretary of her school class. A major part of her campaign was a speech to be given to her classmates, but she had no idea what to say. So she asked her mother for ideas.

“Well, you love to cook,” her mom said. “Why don’t you look in a cookbook?”

It was the stupidest idea she’d ever heard, but, desperate, the young girl followed her mother’s advice. Then, flipping through the pages, it hit her: Why not write a recipe for what would make a good class secretary? Two cups of good handwriting, one cup of dependability and so on.

Jan Bolick, now a management coach, won the election. And she also learned to look in unusual places for creative solutions. As it turns out, creativity is part of the “recipe” for attaining success.

What is success? The answer might depend on whom you ask and the particular stage of their own journey. Yet, no matter your age, occupation or dream for the future, achieving success comes down to a few basic factors that will likely shape your future.

-- Know what you want. Build your dream, craft your vision, write down your goals and then create a plan. Whether or not you ask for advice, never let someone talk you out of something that you have your heart set on doing. As I always say, believe in yourself even when no one else does.

-- Search for creative approaches. Sticking to the old formula will produce old results. If you can find a new or better way to build the proverbial mousetrap, more power to you. Even little tweaks and bright ideas can make the difference.

-- Avoid comparisons. You have goals and aspirations that have little to do with what your friends, neighbors or colleagues are doing. Focus on what you are trying to accomplish and your plan for making that happen.

-- Cultivate patience. Worthwhile success takes time. If you’re in a rush, you’ll cut corners and ignore warning signs. Take a step-by-step approach that’s focused on long-term results. Go for quick wins only when they’re realistic and valuable.

-- Cut out negative self-talk. Perfection often gets in the way of achievement. Successful people stick to a path of continual growth and self-improvement; they are constantly working to become a smarter, better version of themselves.

-- Admit your mistakes. Failure/mistakes are not fatal. When they happen, learn from them. Figure out what went wrong, if you can. Then pick yourself up, get back on your feet and keep moving forward.

-- Don’t go it alone. Network. Get involved with a group or professional organization of individuals in your field. Include people at all stages of their careers. Stay connected through social media channels, and make an effort to meet in person regularly. Don’t take these relationships for granted.

Life should teach you who you are, Oprah Winfrey said in a commencement address at Wellesley College. The media mogul and former talk-show host says for a long time she spent her life wanting to be someone else. She recalled wanting to be like legendary television personality Barbara Walters, and discovered she was not when she could not pronounce “Barbados” on air.

She said she started to laugh on air, which was not very Barbaralike. From that moment on, Oprah says she knew that she could be a better Oprah than a Barbara, and she decided to pursue just being herself once and for all.

Her phenomenal success was the result of being “demoted” from news anchor to talk show host. She said, “I am just thrilled that I get paid so much money every day for just being myself. But it was a lesson long in coming, recognizing that I had the instinct, that inner voice that told me that you need to try to find a way to answer to your own truth, was the voice I needed to be still and listen to.”

Mackay’s Moral: Success is the difference between jumping on the bandwagon and leading the band.

Have you ever heard the expression “seeing the elephant”? It’s an expression that came out of the California gold rush. Those planning to go west in search of gold announced to their friends that they were “going to see the elephant.” Those who turned back discouraged claimed they had seen “the elephant’s tracks” or the “elephant’s tail,” and admitted that view was sufficient.

The Oxford Dictionary defines it this way: “to see the elephant: to see life, the world, or the sights; to get experience of life, to gain knowledge by experience.”

Here’s my take on it: To know the road ahead, ask those coming back. Or take the road yourself and see what you learn. Of course, it’s a lot easier to learn from others’ mistakes, and often much less costly.

But for most of us, we have to experience things for ourselves. When the outcome is good, we call it a successful experience. But when things don’t work out as we hoped, we call it a “learning” experience.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. It is an expensive teacher sometimes. Experience is the dividend you get from your mistakes. Reportedly, Thomas Watson, an early CEO of IBM, was asked if he was going to fire an employee who made a mistake that cost IBM $600,000.

He said, “No, I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody else?”

I’ve always said if you want to triple your success ratio, you have to triple your failure rate! I would submit that we learn as much from our failures as we learn from our successes. That may sting a bit, but there is no free tuition in the school of experience. Every time you graduate from the school of experience, someone thinks up a new course.

Consider the man who asked his boss why three other people were promoted past him. He said, “Boss, I have 20 years of experience in this job.”

The boss replied, “No, you don’t have 20 years of experience. You have one year of experience 20 times. You’ve been making the same mistakes since you first started.”

Some learn from experience. Others never recover from it.

And the most important lesson we should learn from our experiences is that we can move past failures and put the errors to work, preparing us for better days ahead. Realize that the lessons learned are valuable, even if they are embarrassing, depressing or seemingly insurmountable. Giving in to failure is letting the bad experience win.

As tempting as it can be to want to forget about bad experiences, don’t. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. The past should be a guidepost, not a hitching post. Use those difficult lessons to demonstrate your resilience and ability to learn from your mistakes.

Even better, learn from the mistakes of others. I strongly encourage newcomers to connect with a mentor and extend that advice to folks at all stages of their careers. The experience you can absorb is priceless, and the guidance that might prevent you from having too many bad experiences is invaluable.

Here's a story to further illustrate my point: The promoter for a local boxing champion arranged a match with an opponent he had never seen. He had simply asked for an experienced fighter. On the day of the fight, a middle-aged man with a crooked nose, a punch-drunk manner and two huge cauliflower ears arrived in the dressing room. The promoter was aghast.

“I asked for an experienced fighter,” he complained, “but not a damaged one.”

Experience is a good teacher, but a hard one. It gives the test first and the lesson afterward. Experience enables you to recognize a mistake every time you repeat it.

Mackay’s Moral: There is no free tuition in the school of experience.