Kevin Westerhold, 51, was arrested on Jan. 27 at his home in Oviedo, Florida, ClickOrlando reported. Westerhold was sought after an incident on Jan. 22 at Windsor Hills Resort, near Disney World, in which "a male, partially clothed ... engaged in a sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner," the Osceola County Sheriff's Office said. Witnesses provided a cellphone recording of the act, but the suspect had left by the time officers arrived. Other residents of the area had reported similar occurrences to the HOA in December. Westerhold was charged with exposure of sexual organs. [ClickOrlando, 1/29/2026]

Awesome!

It's the 40th anniversary of Super Bowl XX, when the Chicago Bears won their one and only Vince Lombardi Trophy. So, WGN-TV reported on Jan. 26, what better way to celebrate than with a piece of Bears memorabilia? Up for sale at Goldin Auctions is the iconic sweater vest that became a uniform for Bears coach Mike Ditka. It comes with a letter of provenance from Ditka. (Bring your piggy bank: As of this writing, the bidding was up to $82,000.) "This wasn't Nike or Reebok or someone telling a coach what to wear," said Darren Rovell, founder of media site Collect Media. "He was going to wear it every time." Fans of the team still wear replica vests at games; the size of the original is XXL. [WGN, 1/26/2026]

People With Issues

After a romantic relationship ended, Eyvan Collins of Burnaby, British Columbia, "just needed to do something with it," they said. Thus was born the Museum of Personal Failure at the Kingsgate Mall in Vancouver. United Press International reported that Collins posted signs around the region seeking exhibits, with the headline "Failures wanted." The museum has a "wall of reject" with job application rejections and firing notices. A knife maker with Lynn Valley Forge donated a knife he had made that was unable to be sharpened because of the chemical properties in an oil he used. Also on display are tie rods from a failed car repair, failed songs from a local music producer, and Collins' mother's wedding gown, which she named "Threads of Innocence." [UPI, 1/26/2026]

It's Come to This

CNN reported on Jan. 23 that in advance of the winter storm affecting much of the nation, FEMA was warned not to use the word "ice" in any of their messaging or signage because doing so could spark confusion or online mockery. The Department of Homeland Security allegedly delivered the directive on Jan. 22. However, a FEMA spokesperson said in a statement: "FEMA will use correct and accurate descriptors of weather conditions to communicate clearly to the American people." [CNN, 1/23/2026]

And So It Begins

A chain pub in Tokyo called Tori Yaro has drawn a line in the sand: No geezers are welcome at their Shibuya location, Japan Today reported on Jan. 25. A posted sign reads: "This is an izakaya (pub) for younger generations. Pub for under-40 only." The sign goes on to specify that as long as one person in the group is 39 or under, others will be admitted with them. "With older customers, they tend to make a lot of complaints about the restaurant being too noisy and such, so we decided to limit who's coming in," said Toshihiro Nagano, a PR spokesperson for the chain. But here's a secret: Tori Yaro will admit over-40s who are "OK with the noise level" and "have the spirit of a 20-something." Whew. [Japan Today, 1/25/2026]

Next Up: Cow Tools

Veronika, a Swiss brown cow who lives in Austria, has been documented using a tool, Live Science reported on Jan. 19. Witgar Wiegele, Veronika's owner, had seen her picking up sticks with her mouth occasionally over about nine years, but then Alice Auersperg, a cognitive biologist at the University of Veterinary Medicine, Vienna, raised the bar. Auersperg and a colleague visited Veronika and placed a broom near her. The cow used the broom to scratch her back, employing the brush end about 2.5 times more than the handle end. She learned to use the handle end to scratch more delicate areas, like her udder or navel. She would also readjust her grip on the broom for a better angle. "It showed the kind of a behavior I would expect from the stricter definitions of tool use," Auersperg said. [Live Science, 1/19/2026]

The Tech Revolution

First, we had to be afraid that students would use AI to write papers and otherwise cheat their way through school. Now, NBC News reported on Jan. 28, AI is helping students "dumb down" their work so that it's more believably original. New generative AI tools, some costing about $20 per month, "humanize" text so that it doesn't seem to be created by AI. But there's more! Other software will detect text that has been reviewed by a humanizer. "So where are we? We're just in a spiral that will never end," said Erin Ramirez, an associate professor of education at California State University. Aldan Creo, a graduate student from Spain, said he sometimes turns in his original work with a few misspelled words or using Spanish structures that aren't proper English, just so he won't be accused of using AI. "Long term, I think it's going to be a big problem," he said. [NBC News, 1/28/2026]

Yeah, That'll Work

The Independent reported on Jan. 29 that the Royal Navy is cracking down on boozy sailors. Under the new policy, crewmembers will be restricted to 14 "units" of alcohol (about 6 pints) per week, and ships will be dry on certain days. The change is in response to "significant concerns" about alcohol consumption. For their part, sailors are worried that the move is a slippery slope toward banning booze altogether. One retired rear admiral says the rule could affect morale. "You can screw down a system too much," Chris Parry said. "Sailors take great risks and make big sacrifices." [Independent, 1/29/2026]

News You Can Use

Having a Super Bowl party? You need this: Heinz revealed on Jan. 27 the KegChup -- a 19.5-inch-tall dispenser full of 114 ounces of that beloved sweet red condiment. KTLA-TV reported that Heinz is hoping to stave off the horror of running out of ketchup at football parties. Jamie Mack, associate director of brand communication for Heinz U.S., said the KegChup is "the ultimate game-day companion that gives people the freedom to dip responsibly." Fans entered to win the KegChup; if you missed the contest, you can sign up for news and updates at heinzkegchup.com. [KTLA, 1/27/2026]

Awwwwww

On Jan. 24, a calf was born on a Mount Sterling, Kentucky, farm during single-digit temperatures, the Associated Press reported. When farmer Tanner Sorrell went out to check on the mother and baby, the calf was "just frozen. Her umbilical cord looked like a popsicle," said Sorrell's wife, Macey. The family made a quick decision to bring the calf into their home to warm up. "I took out the blow dryer and warmed her up, and got her all fluffed out," Macey said. Soon the visitor was curled up on the couch with her young children, and 3-year-old Gregory named her Sally. The next morning, Sally was reunited with her mom, and all are doing well. [AP, 1/29/2026]

On Jan. 14, as Spaniards gathered for the Official Carnival Groups Competition in Cadiz, 12 men dressed as scientist Stephen Hawking performed a choreographed musical number in motorized wheelchairs, the New York Post reported. The men were wearing wigs and outfits typical of the disabled genius, who died in 2018 of ALS, as they performed. "Don't be offended, this is just for laughs," said Miguel Angel Llull, who wrote the lyrics to their songs. After the competition, the group planned to donate the dozen wheelchairs to ALS patients in need. "They are real chairs that cost us 400 euros each," Llull said. [NY Post, 1/17/2026]

Recent Alarming Headlines

-- Police in Yeadon, Pennsylvania, wrapped up a months-long investigation with the arrest on Jan. 6 of Jonathan Gerlach, 34, who was accused of robbing graves in the Mount Moriah Cemetery & Arboretum. The Reading Eagle reported that Gerlach was caught red-handed as he returned to his car from the cemetery carrying a "burlap bag, crowbar and other assorted items." In the bag were "human remains to include two mummified remains of small children, three skulls and other assorted bones," the arrest affidavit states. Gerlach later admitted to stealing about 30 sets of human remains from the cemetery, some of which were in his basement, while others were in a storage unit. Authorities haven't determined what Gerlach was doing with the remains. He faces a total of 574 criminal counts and is held on $1 million cash bond. [Reading Eagle, 1/9/2026]

-- Bus passengers traveling from New York City to Washington, D.C., had a memorable ride on Jan. 19, Fairfax Now reported. The driver was supposed to take passengers from Penn Station to Union Station and Dupont Circle, but instead, he dropped everyone at the Vienna Metro station after police intervened. One passenger said the driver was going really fast and wouldn't listen to reason; "he screamed that he doesn't get paid enough and is refusing," the passenger said. When representatives of the bus company tried to call him, he repeatedly hung up and told passengers he "has family to go home to and doesn't have time to stop in D.C." "I'm the captain of this ship," he said. Passengers stranded at the Metro station were picked up by another bus and refunded their bus fare. [Fairfax Now, 1/20/2026]

Irony

Spending too much time staring at your phone? Olivia Yokubonis would like a word, the Associated Press reported on Jan. 18. Using her screen name, Olivia Unplugged, Yokubonis urges people to stop their mindless use of social media. "People will comment and they'll be like, 'Oh, it's ironic that you're posting.' And I'm like, 'Where else am I supposed to find you, Kyle? Outside? You're not outside. You're here,'" she said. Yokubonis actually works for a screen time app called Opal, which people use to "reclaim their focus." "It's a fine line and a balance of finding a way to be able to cut through that noise but also not adding to the noise," she added. [AP, 1/18/2026]

Unclear on the Concept

As a boat captain in the Florida Keys, Bradford Todd Picariello, 65, is well-placed to (allegedly) find huge amounts of cocaine just floating in the sea. So it was no surprise that Picariello had the goods; his mistake was in selling a kilogram to an undercover officer from the Monroe County Sheriff's Office. According to CBS12-TV, Picariello was arrested on Jan. 19 after meeting with the cop, whom he told to bring a cooler to "make it look like he was getting fish." He also bragged he had another 100 pounds of cocaine for future buys. Officers also found $8,000 in cash and a handgun. Picariello faces three felony counts. [CBS-12, 1/20/2026]

That's Creative

On the morning of Jan. 13, a woman in Nassau, New York, found a stray dog, WNYT-TV reported. She took the dog to a veterinarian, who noticed that a GPS monitoring device had been attached to the dog's collar. But the dog wasn't a criminal: The ankle bracelet was assigned to Lamont Alexander Holmes, 47, of Albany, who had been charged with felony possession of a loaded weapon and was scheduled to appear in court that morning. Holmes is still on the lam; no word on the pup. [WNYT, 1/15/2026]

We're Gonna Need a New Category ...

Another robot bites the dust. On Jan. 15 in Miami, a food delivery robot met its ignominious end on a Brightline train track after becoming stuck, Fox5Atlanta reported. Witness Guillermo Dapelo took video as the train struck the robot. "I was walking my dogs ... and that's when I saw the food car standing on the train tracks," Dapelo said. RIP. [Fox5Atlanta, 1/16/2026]

Goals

For the low, low price of $250,000, you can be one of the first to reserve a room at a luxury moon hotel, The Philippine Star reported on Jan. 21. GRU Space, a startup founded by Skyler Chan, hopes to deploy the hotel to the moon by 2032. It will be built on Earth. "The hotel offers views of the lunar landscape and Earth, along with ... surface experiences including Moonwalks, driving, golfing and other activities," GRU claims. The first hotel, which is expected to last 10 years, will be an inflatable habitat. After that, a more permanent and expanded facility will be placed. "We live during an inflection point where we can actually become interplanetary before we die," Chan said. GRU believes likely customers will include adventurers, couples looking to honeyMOON in an exotic locale and recent spaceflight participants. [Philippine Star, 1/21/2026]

The Continuing Crisis

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is nothing if not helpful. On Jan. 20, the group sent a letter to Punxsutawney Groundhog Club President Tom Dunkel, offering to donate a "state-of-the-art" 3D groundhog projection -- a hologram -- for the big event coming up on Feb. 2. "Let Phil and his family retire," the group said, according to Fox News. "Pixelated pop stars are headlining concerts and long-departed celebrities are attending conventions, so why not put that technology to good use: on a hologram that lets the real Phil hibernate in peace," PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk reasoned. "Give Gobbler's Knob a glow-up with a phantom prognosticator." PETA noted that groundhogs are naturally shy and avoid humans. "Every year, this terrified little animal is subjected to loud announcers and noisy crowds." Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro responded with a post on X, featuring a "Don't Tread on Me" flag, but with Phil replacing the snake. [Fox News, 1/21/2026]

News You Can Use

A German practice is making its way to the United States, NBC Los Angeles reported on Jan. 21. "Luften," which translates to "airing out" but is also called "house burping," involves opening doors and windows even in the dead of winter to bring in fresh air. Air quality professional Tony Abate is a fan. He said outside air can decrease concentrations of mold, contaminants and carbon dioxide build-up. Optimal times to burp the house include first thing in the morning, after showering or cooking, and after having visitors. And it doesn't take long: "Ten minutes, no more than that is really necessary," said Abate. [NBC Los Angeles, 1/21/2026]

In the 1970s, the United States made a half-hearted effort to join the rest of the world in using the metric system. You know how that story ends. But one highway between Tucson, Arizona, and Nogales, New Mexico, is hanging on. Interstate 19 still displays mile markers and distances in kilometers, Central Oregon Daily News reported. "It's just kind of a cool little quirky fact about us," said Alejandro Aguilar, who lives in Tubac, Arizona. Now, the U.S. Department of Transportation has declared that "When you're driving in the United States, it should be unmistakably American." As a result, that stretch of interstate may get new signage, although the Arizona DOT has not received direction from the feds. Teacher Elaine Webber isn't on board. "Show me the harm. How many accidents have happened? How many people have been harmed by this?" [Central Oregon Daily News, 12/23/2025]

Nope

The musical duo Bootleg Rascal kicked off their new tour in Brisbane, Australia, on Jan. 10 with a sweet-turned-awkward moment, Metro News reported. Carlos Lara said their manager had informed them that someone wanted to propose on stage during the third song, and sure enough, a man climbed up to take the microphone. He called his partner, Jamie, to the stage and told the crowd they had seen the band two years before and it was their favorite band. "And I thought today, why not, maybe today is the time," the man said. Then he got down on one knee ... and that's when it all went wrong. The woman started shaking her head and trying to pull him back up, then ran off the stage. Lara said, "I don't think I've ever felt that awkward on stage in my life." The spurned boyfriend stayed on his knee until someone in a Scooby-Doo costume ran up to help him get on his feet and hugged him. Lara said they checked in with him after the show, and he was "definitely searching for a few beers." They gave him some free merch so he wouldn't go away completely empty-handed. [Metro News, 1/12/2026]

Bright Idea

In Duffel, Belgium, on Jan. 2, police were conducting a sobriety checkpoint when a car crept up to the officers, Oddity Central reported. The driver seemed unusually short and young, which follows because he was, in fact, the 12-year-old son of the front-seat passenger, his dad. "I had drunk too much and so I entrusted the car to my son to drive home," Dad told the police. Mom and two siblings were in the back seat. The boy was fined for driving without a license; Dad was charged with entrusting the car to someone not fit to drive it. After the traffic stop, Mom drove the rest of the way home. [Oddity Central, 1/9/2026]

Don't Try This at Home

Brazilian bodybuilder Arlindo de Souza, 55, passed away on Jan. 13, the Daily Mail reported. De Souza became known as the Brazilian Popeye after injecting mineral oil and alcohol into his biceps, resulting in huge, bulging muscles that measured 29 inches around. He had been hospitalized since December for renal failure. Ironically, the injections didn't make him any stronger. De Souza said he had stopped the injections about 10 years ago, adding, "I advise no one to take this oil." [Daily Mail, 1/15/2026]

Government in Action

As if there aren't more pressing issues in New York, Gov. Kathy Hochul has taken on ... dancing in restaurants. The New York Post reported that in Hochul's Jan. 13 State of the State address, she promised to direct the State Liquor Authority to create "a new hybrid restaurant-tavern license," according to her policy book. Under this license, bars and taverns would automatically have the right to showcase dancing, which has been prohibited under earlier licenses. "It creates new opportunity by cutting through red tape," said Restaurant Association CEO Melissa Fleischut. [NY Post, 1/13/2026]

Shop Till Ewe Drop

Shepherd Dieter Michler had no real answers for why 50 members of his flock split from the 500-sheep herd and made their way into a Penny supermarket in Burgsinn, Lower Franconia, Germany, on Jan. 5. Shoppers and employees quickly took to higher ground, climbing atop the conveyor belts of the checkout lanes to make way for the ovine interlopers, who left broken bottles, droppings and strewn products in their wake when they were eventually removed from the store. Michler told the Main-Post newspaper that he suspected the wandering sheep became distracted by acorns as he led the herd across the industrial area, and, after losing contact with the rest of the group, meandered into the store's parking lot. [Main-Post, 1/6/26]

Petty Theft

Arianna Moss, 29, coveted a co-worker's 40-ounce light blue Stanley insulated cup, The Smoking Gun reported -- so much that she "was observed on video surveillance looking at a cup numerous times" before nicking it and hiding it in her lunchbox. Moss told a witness earlier in the day that the cup "would be great to hold my breast milk." She quit her job three days after the incident in late December and was arrested on Jan. 11, charged with petit theft under $100. She was released on $150 bond. The Stanley cups retail for about $45. [The Smoking Gun, 1/12/2026]

Smooth Reaction

On Jan. 7 in Phoenix, a passenger in a Waymo self-driving car had to make an unplanned exit, KPHO-TV reported. The car drove onto the tracks of the light-rail system and continued toward an oncoming train on the adjacent track, stopping just before the train got close to it. The passenger, shown on video from a bystander, ran away from the car. A Valley Metro spokesperson said, "Light rail operations staff responded to the scene and Waymo was contacted." They said the scene was clear within 15 minutes. [KPHO, 1/11/2026]

Unconventional Weaponry

As Fort Walton Beach (Florida) Police officers responded to reports of a battery at the Palms of Emerald Coast Massage Parlor on Jan. 13, employee Fang Wang became hostile, WJHG-TV reported. When they tried to detain Wang, she began "defecating towards officers to evade arrest," they said. She was arrested for battery and resisting arrest and was held in the Okaloosa County Jail without bond. [WJHG, 1/13/2026]

Lucky!

Skip Cunningham, 70, was asleep on his couch on Jan. 13 when a car crashed into his home and landed on him, WWNY-TV reported. "I woke up and blood running down my head and a car laying on top of me," Cunningham said. "The guy's running around saying, 'Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.' I says, 'Well, call 911.'" An ambulance took Cunningham to the hospital, where he got 13 staples in his head. But on the way, trying to play out his amazing "luck," he asked the ambulance driver to stop so he could buy a lottery ticket. "But they wouldn't stop," he said. Cunningham has lived in the house for 50 years and said cars have run into his home five times. [WWNY, 1/14/2026]