Customs officials at the Lima, Peru, airport spotted something unusual about a man boarding a flight on Nov. 8, The New York Times reported. The unnamed 28-year-old, a citizen of South Korea, was returning home with a planned stopover in France, but he was notable because of his extremely swollen stomach, officials said. When asked to lift his shirt, he revealed a creepy, crawly cargo: 320 tarantulas, 110 centipedes and nine bullet ants. Each bug had its own plastic bag, all of which were attached to two girdles wrapped around the man's body. The 35 adult tarantulas were each about the size of a human hand. All the bugs are native to the Amazon region of Peru, said Walter Silva, a government wildlife specialist. He added that the discovery was "part of the illegal wildlife trafficking that moves millions of dollars." The tarantulas are on the country's endangered species list. The man was arrested with charges pending. [New York Times, 11/16/2024]

Field Report

Norwegian fisherman Harald Engen got a message on Nov. 11 that his 32-foot boat's trawl nets had snagged something most unusual, the Anchorage Daily News reported. Turns out the USS Virginia, a 377-foot nuclear-powered submarine, had been chugging away from Tromso, Norway, with a Norwegian Coast Guard vessel escorting it, when its propellers became entangled with the nets. As a result, the Coast Guard had to cut the nets to free the submarine. They assured Engen that he would be reimbursed for his nets. [Anchorage Daily News, 11/18/2024]

Can't Possibly Be True

KSNW-TV reported on Nov. 17 that Gina Morgan and her husband, Ronnie, felt double the bad luck when they both struck a deer while driving. Not such a weird occurrence near Wichita, Kansas -- but Gina and Ronnie hit the SAME deer while driving in different directions. "We were in two different vehicles, driving in two different directions, and we managed to hit the same deer," Gina explained. "It was just at the point where the sun had gone down." Damage to Gina's car was estimated at $6,000; Ronnie's car had a push bar, so it sustained less impact. [KSNW, 11/17/2024]

Gimme a Sign

Transportation workers in Boulder, Colorado, had to go out on Nov. 19 to take down some "freelance" road signs that had mysteriously appeared in the city, 9News-TV reported. The signs, which appeared in four different locations, warned drivers to "Get Off Your Damn Phone" and "Don't Kill Any Kids Today," along with other messages. Boulder Police spokesperson Dionne Waugh said the signs are professionally made and installed, but officials don't know who put them up. "I'm guessing that it's a concerned citizen that is kind of fed up with the behavior they're seeing in their neighborhoods," said police commander Darren Fladung. He suggested there are more appropriate ways to get those messages out. [9News, 11/19/2024]

Latest Religious Message

Why settle for a middleman when you can confess your sins straight to Jesus Christ himself? Worshippers at St. Peter's Church in Lucerne, Switzerland, are baring their souls to a hologram Jesus powered by AI, the Daily Mail reported on Nov. 20. And already, at least two-thirds of the people who have received the image's grace have called it a "spiritual" experience. "Though it's a machine, it gave me so much advice," one person said -- like, "Your task is not to judge, but to accompany with love." The AI Jesus can even speak 100 different languages. It was trained at the Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts using the New Testament. [Daily Mail, 11/20/2024]

It's Come to This

Sweden's minister for gender equality and work life, Paulina Brandberg, has spoken in the past about her extreme phobia of bananas, The Guardian reported on Nov. 14. But recently leaked emails have made clear just how far her staff will go to protect her from the yellow fruits. For instance, staff will specify that "no traces of bananas must be in the room" before she arrives. Brandberg said she was getting professional help with her phobia, but Prime Minister Ulf Kristersson backed her up: "I am disturbed when a hardworking cabinet minister is almost reduced to a phobia and people make fun of it." [Guardian, 11/14/2024]

Recent Alarming Headline

Passengers aboard an American Airlines flight from Milwaukee to Dallas on Nov. 19 went full-on MacGyver with an unruly Canadian passenger, ABC7-TV reported. While the plane was in flight, the passenger asked a flight attendant to open the cabin door; when his request was denied, he became agitated. He allegedly rushed toward the door, striking the flight attendant, before other passengers subdued him, eventually duct-taping his wrists and ankles and laying him on his stomach on the floor. Airport police and FBI personnel met him at the gate and took him for a medical evaluation. [ABC7, 11/21/2024]

Weird Science

University of Richmond professor and neuroscientist Kelly Lambert has been training rats to drive tiny cars since 2019, the New York Post reported. "Unexpectedly, we found that the rats had an intense motivation for their driving training, often jumping into the car and revving the 'lever engine' before their vehicle hit the road," Lambert said. She and her fellow scientists concluded that the rats' excitement was a Pavlovian response to treats and operating the vehicles -- but even when the treats were removed, they were ready to put the pedal to the metal. "They remind us that planning, anticipating and enjoying the ride may be key to a healthy brain," Lambert said. [NY Post, 11/17/2024]

Great Art

The duct-taped banana "artwork" just won't turn brown and mushy and find its way into the bin. On Nov. 20 in New York City, Sotheby's sold the latest iteration for $6.2 million to Justin Sun, founder of the cryptocurrency platform TRON, WFAA-TV reported. Bidding started at $800,000. Sun said the art "represents a cultural phenomenon that bridges the worlds of art, memes and the cryptocurrency community. ... In the coming days, I will personally eat the banana as part of this unique artistic experience, honoring its place in both art history and popular culture." Lucky for Sun, he technically bought the rights to duct-tape any other banana to any other wall and call it "Comedian," as it was dubbed in 2019 by Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan. [WFAA, 11/21/2024]

Who Knew?

Fox News host Jesse Watters has laid down the law regarding man-to-man birthday etiquette, the Independent reported. On his show, "Jesse Watters Primetime," on Nov. 20, the host said he would have wished President Joe Biden a happy birthday, but that would break his "rules." "Men don't wish men happy birthdays," he said. He revealed the rule earlier this fall, when he said wishing another Fox host happy birthday "would not be manly." Watters also apparently has rules about men eating soup and ice cream in public -- "It's not a good look." [Independent, 11/21/2024]

On Nov. 7, the South China Morning Post reported an uproar following a social media post depicting a small child urinating on a table full of food. The baby’s mother captured the moment on video when her child sprayed the breakfast table with urine, then proudly revealed that the family had continued to eat the food. The Beijing mom commented that they “rarely put disposable diapers on him ... We do not cover it because it is better not to interrupt the child while he is urinating.” [South China Morning Post, 11/7/2024]

Recurring Theme

On Nov. 8, police in Los Angeles arrested a man who had apparently been living in the crawl space beneath a 92-year-old woman’s home, The New York Times reported. She had heard unusual noises from inside her house and assumed they were animals, but when family members heard knocking, they called police. When officers arrived, the alleged squatter, Isaac Betancourt, 27, who was naked, would not come out from under the home. Betancourt had to be forced out with gas; he was released after his arrest for trespassing. The homeowner’s son-in-law, Ricardo Silva, said the entrances to the crawl space would be secured. “It’s probably not uncommon, you know,” Silva said, “in this day and age, people are looking for shelter.” [NY Times, 11/13/2024]

The Aristocrats

Auction house Reeman Dansie in Colchester, England, announced that a slice of wedding cake from the marriage of Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip has been purchased for $2,831, United Press International reported. The little slice of history, part of a 500-pound cake served at the Nov. 20, 1947, wedding, had been given as a gift to Marion Polson, a housekeeper at Holyrood House in Edinburgh, Scotland. It was preserved in a box bearing the then-princess's insignia and included a letter from the bride. No word on how it tasted. [UPI, 11/11/2024]

Oops

Mattel is scrambling after releasing its new line of "Wicked" dolls in packaging that included a link not to the upcoming movie's official page, but to a porn website, United Press International reported. "We deeply regret this unfortunate error," the company said in a statement. It was unclear how many dolls carried the misprint, but the company said they were mostly sold in the United States. Mattel helpfully advises people who have purchased products with the misprint to dispose of the boxes. [UPI, 11/11/2024]

Awesome!

Aaron Fowler, a surfer in Denmark, Western Australia, was riding the waves on Nov. 1 when he spotted an unusual bird, the Albany Advertiser reported. "There was this big bird in the water ... and it just stood up and waddled right over to us," he said. The emperor penguin had swum thousands of kilometers from Antarctica and was malnourished; it was given into the care of the University of Western Australia's School of Biological Sciences, where its rehabilitation is expected to last a few weeks. One expert there said the penguins are never observed north of the 60th parallel south. "It was kind of funny," Fowler said, "like as he came out of the water, he went to do a tummy slide -- like I guess he's used to on the ice -- and he just did a kind of face-plant in the sand ... and looked a bit shocked." [Albany Advertiser, 11/5/2024]

Say What?

Semi-professional paranormal investigator Johnny Turnip of Abergavenny, Wales, has weighed in on the recent American election, the Abergavenny Chronicle reported on Nov. 11. "Trump isn't the real enemy, leprechauns are!" he told the paper. "They have been using world leaders and royalty as puppets and distractions from their own diabolical schemes for generations. I don't think either Donald Trump or Kamala Harris were ever aware that they were being used by these corrupt, gold-hungry, shamrock-obsessed, stove-pipe-wearing, alcoholic little pygmies." Turnip went on: "Most people don't think leprechauns are real, and neither did I until a wise man told me that I'd have a hard time finding a mermaid in this day and age because the leprechauns had systematically slaughtered most for them for their scales centuries ago." Unsurprisingly, Turnip had MUCH more to say than we can include here. Consider yourself warned. [Abergavenny Chronicle, 11/11/2024]

Undignified Death

The Marion County (Indiana) Coroner identified a man found deceased on Nov. 11 as Derek Sink, 39, People magazine reported. Sink was discovered in a tanning bed at a Planet Fitness location, where he had arrived on Friday, Nov. 8. His family had not heard from him since Friday and reported him missing on Sunday; Sink, who had battled addiction, was wearing an ankle monitor, so his probation officer was able to see his last location. Sink's mother, Karen Wetzel, said a syringe was found in the room with him, and she suspects he overdosed. She called her son "the kindest person" with "the softest heart." [People, 11/13/2024]

The Passing Parade

On Nov. 6, Mohammed Abdullah Alabilan, 27, of Pennsylvania, received a lap dance inside the Reign nightclub in Clearwater, Florida, but "refused to pay the $40 service fee," The Smoking Gun reported. When Alabilan tried to leave the club, a deputy stepped in and charged him with misdemeanor theft. He was released from jail after paying ... a $40 bond. The judge ordered him to stay away from the nightclub. [The Smoking Gun, 11/7/2024]

Least Competent Criminals

Four Californians were arrested for insurance fraud on Nov. 13 for an incident that took place in January, NBC News reported. Ruben Tamrazian, 26; Ararat Chirkinian, 39; Vahe Muradkhanyan, 32; and Alfiya Zuckerman, 39, filed insurance claims on three Mercedes cars, complete with video, which they said had been damaged by a bear. The Jan. 8 alleged attack took place while the cars were parked at Lake Arrowhead northeast of Los Angeles. "The investigation determined the bear was actually a person in a bear costume," the insurance department said. The bear costume, paws and metal hand tools that simulate claws were found in the suspects' home, officials said. Investigators said they had shown the video to a biologist from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife, who "opined it was clearly a human in a bear suit." [NBC News, 11/13/2024]

Animal Antics

Residents of Mablethorpe in Lincolnshire, England, seem conflicted about the badgers that are causing problems in their burg. The Daily Star reported on Nov. 13 that the burrowing animals have caused roads and sidewalks to collapse, which has resulted in construction projects and delays everywhere. But the locals are reticent about eliminating them: "I don't want anything untoward to happen to them, but I'm a believer that they've got to be controlled in certain areas," said resident Des Barnett. Natural England has warned road workers that their projects must be complete by the end of November, when badger mating season begins, or be put off until July 2025. [Daily Star, 11/13/2024]

Early on Nov. 4, a British tourist made an alarming entrance at an internet cafe near his hotel in Pattaya, Thailand, Metro News reported. First, staff at the Freelancer Hotel heard groans and banging coming from his room -- which wasn't necessarily unusual in the red-light district. But then the 51-year-old man fell from a balcony and through the ceiling of the adjacent cafe, with just his naked legs showing to about 20 patrons below. As onlookers called for help, they realized the nude man was covered in excrement; he was taken to a hospital to sober up and address his minor injuries. Police checking out his hotel room found feces smeared on the floor: "We have some ideas about what he was doing in the room to make it so dirty but there was nothing illegal," officials said. "He will have to speak with the hotel to negotiate the bill." [Metro News, 11/4/2024]

It's Come to This

We all know that Amazon has EVERYTHING, which apparently now includes ready-to-assemble homes, the Mirror reported on Nov. 5. Content creator Nathan Graham ordered the compact home, which showed up in the signature smiley-arrow box. He spent about $39,000, which included a bathroom, kitchen, windows and furniture. The metal home just needed to be unfolded and snapped into place to be livable. "This thing is so easy to build," Graham said. But another customer was less impressed -- at only 5-feet-8, he said he could touch the ceilings. "I'm actually going to Airbnb it," he said. Just to short people? [Mirror, 11/5/2024]

Awwwww!

Perhaps it was wedding day jitters for father of the bride Neil Crossley, 60, People magazine reported on Nov. 5. As Crossley sped down the aisle in Yorkshire, England, and arrived at the altar, he realized something was missing: his daughter, the bride. "It was just pure miscommunication between my dad and the staff," Amy Totty, the bride, said. A staff member followed him down the aisle and guided him back to his daughter as the congregation and family had a good laugh. "It was a special moment none of us will forget," Totty said. [People, 11/5/2024]

Bright Idea

Even the Trevi Fountain needs occasional repairs and upkeep, but what about all those coins tourists toss in to ensure a return trip to Rome? Someone had the bright idea to build a temporary pool to receive the coins, CNN reported on Nov. 5, but its position behind a tall fence covered in plastic is problematic -- many hopeful tossers simply miss. The fountain nets about $1.6 million a year, which is donated to a Catholic charity called Caritas. Italians aren't loving the temporary pool, either. One called it "The saddest thing I've seen in Italy in as long as I can remember." Work is expected to be complete in September 2025. [CNN, 11/5/2024]

The Passing Parade

A resort in the Philippines has unveiled its new 15-room hotel, which businessman Ricardo Cano Gwapo Tan said he wanted to have a "wow factor that can really leave a footprint of admiration to the public," United Press International reported on Nov. 5. The building is shaped like a rooster -- in fact, it's the world's largest building in the shape of a chicken, according to Guinness World Records, at 114 feet, 7 inches tall. Tan said the rooster's shape is a tribute to the local culture. "It looks calm and commanding, imposing and strong, which reflects the attitude of our people," he said. [UPI, 11/5/2024]

Irony

William Hoesch, 71, filed a lawsuit on Oct. 24 against Columbia River (Oregon) Fire & Rescue, the New York Post reported. Hoesch alleges that in October 2022, as he rode his bike through Rainier, an ambulance slammed into him, breaking his nose and destroying his bike, then billed him nearly $2,000 for the ride to the hospital. The driver, who was moving at less than 10 mph, heard a thump and then rushed the biker to the hospital. Hoesch also incurred about $100,000 in medical expenses and suffers from permanent injuries such as “decreased range of motion” and “reduced grip.” He is seeking almost $1 million for pain and suffering, along with coverage of his medical bills. [NY Post, 11/6/2024]

Ewwwww!

In October in Sydney, Australia, beachgoers were confronted with mysterious black balls that had washed up on the beaches, CNN reported. Authorities closed the beaches and assumed the balls were unrefined oil from a spill. Now, scientists at the University of New South Wales have discovered what exactly the balls are -- and it's not pretty. The orbs are mini "fatbergs" -- human feces, methamphetamine, human hair, fatty acids and food waste, among other gross ingredients. "They smell worse than anything you've ever smelt," said lead investigator Jon Beves. The EPA guesses that the bergs came from "a source that releases mixed waste," but "testing has not been able to confirm their exact origin." Bleh. [CNN, 11/7/2024]

Recent Alarming Headline

Phi-le Dinh Nguyen, 46, was arrested on Oct. 23 after a violent attack on his Katy, Texas, neighbor, KHOU-TV reported. Jackie Gray said her surveillance camera picked up Nguyen pouring gasoline on the outside of her house and setting it on fire. "I came out, I confront him about it, he admitted it and then after he thinks my home was going to burn down ... he tried to come back, you know, with a sword to attack me," Gray said. Nguyen also allegedly threatened a Harris County deputy with the sword before he was tased. Other neighbors said they've had run-ins with Nguyen too. He was charged with arson and aggravated assault and held on $200,000 bond. [KHOU, 10/29/2024]

Latest Religious Message

Devotees at the Shri Banke Bihari Mandir temple in Uttar Pradesh rushed to collect water dripping from an elephant-shaped spout on the wall on Nov. 3, believing it to be Charan Amrit, or holy water from the feet of Lord Krishna. Alas, News18 reported, it was merely condensation from an air conditioning system in the temple. Some people caught the water in their hands or placed it on their heads. Even when confronted with the truth, devotees merely smiled and continued collecting the water. [News18, 11/4/2024]

News You Can Use

-- If you're in the Lowcountry, exercise extreme caution. On Nov. 6, 43 female monkeys escaped from the Alpha Genesis Primate Research Center in Yemassee, South Carolina, The Post and Courier reported. The monkeys are bred and sold for medical testing and research; the facility houses about 6,700 animals. The company, along with police, are searching with thermal imaging cameras and setting traps. While police say the monkeys pose no threat or health risk to people, they advise residents to "keep doors and windows securely closed." "Just don't try to take these things home or pet them," said police Chief Gregory Alexander. "That's a felony because they don't belong to you." [Post and Courier, 11/6/2024]

-- Mourning the end of your vacation? Not to worry! ItalyCommunica is bottling (or canning) the AIR from Lake Como in northern Italy, CNN reported, and selling it for $11. Each can allegedly contains 400 milliliters of "100% authentic air" that tourists can open at home and then repurpose the can as a souvenir pen holder. "It's not a product, it's a tangible memory that you carry in your heart," said marketing specialist Davide Abagnale. It's "something original, fun and even provocative," he added -- and it fits in your carry-on! [CNN, 11/4/2024]