In South America, some families of people who have died of COVID-19 have had to wait days for a coffin, either because of the short supply or they were unable to afford one, the Associated Press reported on May 8. In response, ABC Displays, a Colombian advertising company, has developed a cardboard hospital bed with metal railings that can be converted into a coffin. The beds can hold a weight of 330 pounds and will cost about $85 each, company manager Rodolfo Gomez said. He plans to donate 10 beds and hopes to receive orders for more from emergency clinics that might run short on beds. [Associated Press, 5/8/2020]

Not Men From Outer Space

People in Washington's Puget Sound were startled on the evening of May 6 by a brilliant streak of light across the sky followed three minutes later by a loud explosion. "Huge boom that shook the house. It was the loudest boom I've ever heard," one witness in Brier reported, according to KOMO. The American Meteor Society investigated the many reports it fielded and determined the noise came from an exploding meteor entering Earth's atmosphere. The meteor may have been part of the annual Eta Aquarid meteor shower, which occurs when Earth moves through the remnants of Halley's comet. [KOMO, 5/7/2020]

Bright Ideas

Restaurants have adapted to local lockdowns with curbside and drive-thru services, so it's no surprise that other businesses are following suit. Minx Gentlemen's Club in Virginia Beach, Virginia, is offering drive-thru pole dances and other entertainment in a makeshift outdoor space, according to The Sun. Dancers were showered with bills or grabbed their tips using a trash picker to reach into vehicles as patrons enjoyed the performances from the safety of their cars. Meanwhile, in Las Vegas, Little Darlings is offering completely nude drive-up strip teases. "Guests can drive up to the front door, and we're going to have dancers separated by the 6-foot separation rule, and (customers) can enjoy a totally nude show right from the seat of their car," a Little Darlings spokesperson told KSNV. [The Sun, 5/11/2020]

Recent Alarming Headline

In Clocolan, Free State Province, South Africa, where the now-seven-week-long lockdown includes a ban on buying or selling alcoholic beverages, thieves broke into the Rest in Peace funeral parlor and made off with four gallons of exhumation liquid, the Daily Mail reported on May 12. The fluid, used to preserve body parts that have been exhumed, is 97% alcohol, police spokesperson Brigadier Motansi Makhele said, and the burglars had to break through roller blinds and into a locked steel cabinet to get to the liquid. A forensic officer predicted: "If the thieves drink that liquid without watering it right down, then they will drop dead themselves!" [Daily Mail, 5/12/2020]

Inexplicable

In 2006, Armin Meiwes, now 58, was convicted of killing, dismembering and slowly eating Bernd Brandes, 43, over a number of months in Rotenburg, Germany, but today, the man who advertised himself as a "friendly and polite" cannibal, goes for "walks around town" with a police escort and wearing sunglasses and a cap to disguise himself. Meiwes had advertised in 2001 on a website called The Cannibal Cafe for "a well-built 18- to 30-year-old to be slaughtered and then consumed," and Brandes answered the ad. At trial, Meiwes told the court he had always dreamed of having a younger brother "to be a part of me" and thought cannibalism would be a way to satisfy that obsession. Two officers accompany Meiwes on his outings, reports the Daily Mail, and he is described by his keepers as a "friendly, outgoing, polite" prisoner who is helpful to others, attends church services and works in the prison laundry. [Daily Mail, 5/12/2020]

Questionable Judgment

-- Curtis L. Fish, 48, arrested and charged with kidnapping and raping a woman on New Year's Day in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, was released when the COVID-19 crisis erupted in jails, according to PennLive.com. On May 12, police responding to reports that Fish tried to break into the Crossroads Tavern in Hilltown Township attempted to Taser Fish, but he fled to his home nearby, where he set off and aimed fireworks at a SWAT team before his house suddenly caught fire. "Fireworks outside and fireworks inside," said tavern owner Mike Mrozinski. "So I believe that's what lit the house on fire." A body thought to be Fish was found inside. Mrozinski said Fish, whom he had known for 16 years, was "not the same guy I had known him to be" before the rape charges. [PennLive.com, 5/13/2020]

-- Joseph Todd Kowalczyk, 20, tweeted at the FBI on May 10, threatening that he had "10 bombs ready to go off ... in my basement ... come get me you guys have till 8 before I make this city in my own little hell #forwaco." The FBI determined the tweet came from a mobile home park in Clinton Township, Michigan, according to The Detroit News, and officers showed up at Kowalczyk's home the next day, where he explained that he was "testing the government" and was upset that they had not responded more promptly. He told agents he had no weapons and would not make any more threatening tweets, but as the day wore on, Kowalczyk taunted the FBI in further posts, disparaging the agency and police for their slow response. On May 12, he was arrested and charged with transmitting a threat to injure, which is punishable by up to five years in prison. [Detroit News, 5/13/2020]

Paying the Price

Restaurants in West Plains, Missouri, endured a social media storm in early May after a customer posted a photo of a receipt that included a "Covid 19 Surcharge." But the restaurants pushed back, according to KY3. "It's not a tax. It's basically just a small percentage to cover all of our extra expenses," said Bootleggers BBQ owner Brian Staack. Kiko Japanese Steakhouse manager Sarah Sherwood said prices on most items have doubled, and Ozark Cafe co-owner Heather Hughes confirmed: "Every day there's something else (food suppliers) can't get or the prices have gone up exorbitantly." The restaurateurs say it's easier to add the 5% surcharge than constantly change the menus, and they've been upfront with customers, using signs and notes in their menus. While the initial response was surprise, Sherwood says the community has "really come together to support the local businesses." [KY3, 5/8/2020]

Florida

A Mother's Day bouquet became a weapon during an altercation in Pinellas County, Florida, early on May 11. Sandra Kay Webb, 32, allegedly became angry with her husband because he bought flowers for her children to give her for Mother's Day. The Smoking Gun reported that Webb threw the bouquet at her husband and hit him with it, then spit on him. Webb was charged with domestic battery; she admitted throwing the flowers, but denied the spitting. [Smoking Gun, 5/12/2020]

On May 1, officials in San Diego County ordered residents to start wearing face coverings while in public to prevent the spread of COVID-19. On May 2, an unnamed man went grocery shopping at Vons in Santee, California, where a number of shoppers took photos of the man, wearing a Ku Klux Klan hood. Staff members repeatedly asked him to remove the hood, according to a company spokeswoman, but he refused until he reached the checkout area, where a supervisor caught up to him. The man removed the hood, paid for his groceries and left. Santee Mayor John Minto told the Los Angeles Times, "Santee, its leaders and I will not tolerate such behavior." [Los Angeles Times, 5/4/2020]

The Passing Parade

Virginia Hamilton, 69, was charged with felonious assault in Youngstown, Ohio, on May 3 after an altercation with her live-in boyfriend. According to WKBN, the boyfriend told police she became upset about his dirty underwear in the "laundry bucket" and grabbed a butcher knife; he tried to fight back with a pocket knife he had on hand. When officers arrived, Hamilton was on the front porch, washing blood off her hands, and the boyfriend was lying on a bed inside, covered in blood, with cuts on his arms and hands. The police report also noted that alcohol was involved. Ya think? [WKBN, 5/4/2020]

Creative Quarantine

Discovery Island at Disney World in Orlando, Florida, has been closed to the public since 1999, and, of course, the park itself has been closed since mid-March because of coronavirus concerns. Once called Treasure Island, the 11-acre property sits in the park's Bay Lake and was a pure "tropical paradise" for an unnamed interloper from Alabama, who was found camping on the island on April 30 by park security. NPR reported the 42-year-old man told Orange County Sheriff's deputies he was planning to stay about a week and was unaware he was doing anything wrong, despite numerous "no trespassing" signs and calls from authorities over loudspeakers. Nevertheless, he was charged with trespassing and was banned from all Disney properties. [NPR, 5/3/2020]

Florida

Two landscapers were charged with DUIs for driving the same vehicle at the same time in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, after police pulled over an SUV that had been reported to be driving recklessly on April 15. According to police reports, the officers spotted Alfredo Lopez Chaj, 24, behind the wheel, but by the time an officer approached the car, Chaj was standing outside it, and Martin Lopez Chaj, 20, was in the driver's seat. The younger man, apparently a brother, had slid over from the passenger seat, put the car in gear and tried to escape, but the officer pulled him out of the car, The Palm Beach Post reported. Both men, police noted, smelled of alcohol, and both had wet their pants; neither had a valid driver's license. [Palm Beach Post, 4/17/2020]

Precocious

A Utah Highway Patrol officer pulled over a car in Weber County on May 4 for "what he thought was an impaired driver," the highway patrol said on Twitter, but instead he was shocked to find a 5-year-old in the driver's seat. The boy told the trooper he took off in his parents' car after arguing with his mother because she wouldn't buy him a Lamborghini, according to United Press International. He planned to drive to California to get one for himself, but alas, "he only had $3 his wallet," the highway patrol noted. [UPI, 5/5/2020]

Animal Antics

A monkey riding a small motorized bicycle in a street performance in Surabaya, Indonesia, on May 2, threw down the bike and suddenly grabbed a toddler who was watching, Global News reported, dragging the child down the cobblestone street for several feet before letting him go. The boy was scratched but not seriously injured. [Global News, 5/4/2020]

Wait, What?

-- Katrina Morgan, 50, called 911 on May 2 in Port Clinton, Ohio, asking for the fire department because, "I need somebody to come put it out with their hose," according to police reports. "It" was her crotch, she told the dispatcher, and it was on fire. The News Herald reported that police responding to her call arrested Morgan for making false reports and disrupting public services, and found empty bottles of alcohol in the house. Other people at the home admitted they'd been drinking but said they didn't see her using the telephone. [Port Clinton News Herald, 5/5/2020]

-- An advertisement for a deodorant that aired during "Britain's Got Talent" on May 2 caused a backlash among viewers who were shocked to see the ad conclude with a squirrel "getting it on" with a can of the deodorant, as one angry viewer put it. "We are watching this as a family," wrote one complainant, according to The Independent, while others noted the ad celebrating Lynx Africa's 25th anniversary was "inappropriately scheduled" and "unsuitable for children." The Advertising Standards Authority received 155 complaints about the ad, but said, "No decision has been made on whether there are grounds for an investigation." [The Independent, 5/6/2020]

Storytime

Nursery school teacher Eloise Roberts, 32, has been making videos for her students during the coronavirus lockdown, and recently decided to take advantage of a lovely spring day to record a story about unicorns at the horse riding school in Moreton, Merseyside, England, where she lives. What she didn't expect was the springtime friskiness of the horses in the background. "I could hear that the horses were up to something behind me," Roberts told the Daily Mail, so she turned around to discover the more compelling story happening behind her, and quickly moved to another field. [Daily Mail, 4/22/2020]

Bright Idea

Officials in Lund, Sweden, were concerned about people spreading coronavirus in the town's central park as they gathered for Walpurgis Night on April 30, a traditional celebration welcoming longer, warmer days that includes picnics and bonfires. So to discourage revelers, the town spread chicken manure all over the park. "This is a park where usually 30,000 people gather, but with COVID-19, this is now unthinkable," Mayor Philip Sandberg told Reuters. "We don't want Lund to become an epicenter for the spread of the disease. Even a small number of people still going to the park can become a big risk." [Reuters, 4/30/2020]

Least Competent Criminals

Before Quintin Henderson, 28, was released from Illinois' Cook County Jail on May 2, he made a deal with fellow inmate Jahquez Scott, 21. The Chicago Sun-Times reported that Scott promised Henderson $1,000 for letting Scott assume his identity, according to jail authorities, and when Henderson's name was called, Scott stepped up, face mask in place, signed a few papers and walked away. It was when Henderson approached staff members a little while later and said he'd fallen asleep that officers realized there'd been a switch. Henderson, who was supposed to be released, is now being held on charges of aiding and abetting the escape of a felon, and Scott is still on the run. [Chicago Sun-Times, 5/5/2020]

On April 22, Bowling Green, Kentucky, Mayor Bruce Wilkerson was hard at work at a house he has been renovating when he smelled cigarette smoke and "heard a ruckus" outside, so he went to investigate. The former police officer found blood on the cellar door and a bag containing women's clothing inside, but after determining there were no reports of missing women in the area, he told the Bowling Green Daily News, he went back to his work. Later, the electricity suddenly went out, so he returned to the cellar and this time found a young woman. "She said, 'I'm hiding from someone,'" Wilkerson told police, then she ran away. Police haven't identified her, but Wilkerson wanted to set the record straight before "a story would come out that I had a lady locked up in my cellar." [Bowling Green Daily News, 4/22/2020]

Quick Thinking

Eliza Ruth Watson, 37, raises chickens in Gray, Maine, so she's used to seeing foxes nosing around, but as she worked in her garden on April 23, the fox she spotted didn't run when she tried to scare it off by hollering and waving her arms. Instead, the animal lunged toward her, ready to attack. "Thinking back on it now, the fox was a mangy, stanky fox," Watson told the Sun Journal. She responded by kicking it, but "it kept coming back, and I kept kicking it." Finally Watson grabbed the fox around the neck, and as it fought back, she shoved it into a large pot used for scalding chickens, sealed the lid and called 911 and her husband. At the hospital, she received five rabies vaccine injections. "People kept asking, 'Are you the one who wrestled the fox?'" she said. "It's certainly not how I expected to spend my day." [Sun Journal, 4/24/2020]

Zoom Fatigue

-- A videoconference meeting of the Vallejo, California, planning commission got a little weird on April 20 when commissioner Chris Platzer announced, "I'd like to introduce my cat," then was seen throwing the cat off-screen. Later Platzer was seen drinking a beer, and after the meeting ended, city staff could still hear him making derogatory remarks about the commission, the Vallejo Times-Herald reported. In an April 25 email to the newspaper, Platzer apologized for his actions and said he has resigned from the commission. "We are all living in uncertain times, and I certainly, like many of you, am adjusting to a new normalcy," he wrote. Mayor Bob Sampayan said he was bothered by Platzer's "whole demeanor during the entire meeting." The commission had scheduled a vote to remove Platzer on April 28. [Times Herald, 4/27/2020]

-- ABC News reporter Will Reeve made an internet meme come to life on April 28 when he appeared on "Good Morning America" to report on pharmacies using drones to deliver prescriptions. Looking dapper in a sport coat and open-collared shirt, Reeve no doubt thought his home setup would camouflage the fact that he wasn't wearing pants, CNN reported. Twitter had a field day, and Reeve himself tweeted back, "I have ARRIVED ... in the most hilariously mortifying way possible." [CNN, 4/28/2020]

Irony

The National Weather Service issued a dust advisory on April 27 in eastern Washington after wind gusts of more than 40 mph kicked up a wall of sediment. "We have had reports of blowing dust near Dusty (seriously, near the town of Dusty) on SR 26 and SR 127," the NWS tweeted. According to Fox News, the Washington State Patrol reported that SR 26 was "fully blocked" about 3 miles outside of Dusty after a car and a semi-truck crashed. The highway remained closed for about six hours. [Fox News, 4/28/2020]

Least Competent Criminal

North Carolina State Highway Patrol officers stopped Lance Gordon, 32, on April 24, for speeding in a car belonging to Angela Lee, 47, of Holly Springs, whom Gordon said was an acquaintance. WRAL reported authorities grew suspicious after Holly Springs police were unable to contact Lee to confirm the story, and in a subsequent search of her house and car, investigators found Lee's body in the car's trunk. Gordon was charged with Lee's murder, along with stealing her car. [WRAL, 4/27/2020]

Desperate Times

In Logrono, Spain, an unidentified man pushed the envelope on Spain's stringent lockdown rules, which make an exception for pet owners, who are allowed to go outside briefly with their pets, according to Gray News. The National Police tweeted a photo on April 24 of the man being arrested for sitting on a city bench holding his pet fish a fish bowl. [Gray News via 14News, 4/24/2020]

Entrepreneurial Spirit

Brian Wood, owner of All American Gator Products in Dania Beach, Florida, is taking face masks to a whole new level by fashioning coverings made with the skin of Burmese pythons. "Some people want to make a fashion statement even during this pandemic, so I want to give them options," Wood told the Miami Herald on April 19. The snakeskin itself doesn't offer any added protection, but the masks would allow for a filter or lining to be inserted and removed. Wood hopes to add alligator and crocodile skin masks to his offerings, although alligator, "the diamond of leathers," would be more expensive. Wood said he will be buying animals from local hunters to meet the demand. [Miami Herald, 4/19/2020]

Name in the News

Police in Gwinnett County, Georgia, finally caught up with 35-year-old Speedy Gonzalez, of Buford, on April 25. Gonzalez had been wanted in connection with a theft in January, when multiple checks were reported stolen from a mailbox in Suwanee, the Associated Press reported. Gonzalez allegedly cashed the checks, used the money to buy more than $3,000 worth of merchandise at Home Depot, then returned the goods for cash. He was charged with forgery, identity theft and theft by deception. [Associated Press, 4/28/2020]

Recurring Theme

In the Sydney, Australia, suburb of Marrickville, a family has resorted to erecting a fence and a warning sign to scare away a "mystery human poo-er" who has allegedly been defecating next to their garage, United Press International reported. "We have installed this fence and a camera to hand over to police," the sign reads. "We understand that COVID-19 is tough on everyone but please stop (expletive) on our garage." The message also includes directions to a nearby public toilet. [United Press International, 4/28/2020]

Ewwwww!

Three roommates at Northwest Iowa Community College in Sheldon, Iowa, were charged on April 20 with assault in response to an event that took place on March 13. According to nwestiowa.com, Lindsey Ann Cundiff, 20; Kyiah Elaine Kastner, 19; and Ellie Thompson, 20, allegedly removed dry skin from the bottom of one of their feet and added it into a fourth roommate's shredded cheese, then watched her eat it. No word on what else was in the dish. [nwestiowa.com, 4/21/2020]