An upscale neighborhood near the Ibis Golf and Country Club in West Palm Beach, Florida, is all a-flutter over some unwelcome guests: dozens of black vultures. The Palm Beach Post reports that a New York family can no longer visit the $700,000 vacation home they bought earlier this year because the birds have defecated and vomited all around it, leaving a smell "like a thousand rotting corpses," claimed homeowner Siobhan Casimano. Homeowner Cheryl Katz put out fake owls with moving heads and blinking red lights for eyes to scare off the birds, but she said the vultures "ripped the heads off." Katz had to summon police when the vultures became trapped in her pool enclosure and attacked each other: "Blood was everywhere," she told the Post. Katz and other homeowners blame the invasion on a neighbor who feeds wildlife, supplying bags of dog food, roasted chicken and trays of sandwiches for their enjoyment. Neighborhood association president Gordon Holness told the Post the neighbor has been issued a warning, but the migratory birds are protected by federal law. [Palm Beach Post, 8/15/2019]

Spoiled

A young man identified only as Akash, in Yamunanagar, Haryana state in northern India, received a brand-new BMW from his parents for his birthday, reported Fox News on Aug. 12. But Akash, who had nagged his parents for a Jaguar instead, told police the BMW was "a little small for him and his friends inside." So he pushed the new vehicle into a river, where it sank into deep water and had to be pulled out with a crane. "The youth was arrogant and kept insisting that he be given a Jaguar," police said. "We could only afford to give him a BMW," said his father. "We never imagined he would do anything like this." [Fox News, 8/12/2019]

Second Thoughts

Maybe his conscience got the better of him. On Aug. 13, according to WTAE, a man in a wheelchair approached a teller at a First National Bank on Pittsburgh's South Side. The man, thought to be in his 60s, handed the teller a note demanding cash, but then "suddenly abandoned his robbery attempt and exited the bank," a police statement read. Police and FBI agents were on the lookout for the reluctant robber, but there were no photographs or video of him to aid them. [WTAE, 8/13/2019]

Strange Obsession

Washington State Highway Patrol Sgt. Kyle Smith stopped along Highway 518 near Seattle on Aug. 13 to see if a car parked on the shoulder needed assistance. Instead, according to the Associated Press, he observed the driver inside with eight mobile phones, neatly arranged in a blue foam square, all playing Pokemon Go. Smith did not issue a ticket to the driver, but he did warn him to put the phones away and move along, as the shoulder is meant only for emergency stops. [Associated Press, 8/15/2019]

What's in a Name?

Late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel brought the town of Dildo, Newfoundland and Labrador, continent-wide attention in mid-August when he gifted the community a Hollywood-style sign installed on a hill above the town. Soon, Canadian adult toy company Our Pleasure posted a video to Facebook featuring some of its products in front of the sign and at other locations around the town, reported The Telegram, inciting anger among some residents. "They went too far with this," said Andrew Pretty, a member of the town's local service district committee. "They had one picture right next to the playground ... it's not right." Our Pleasure owner Cathy Daniels described the video as "more of a fun video," but townspeople don't see the humor. They are circulating a petition asking Our Pleasure not to use photos of Dildo for its advertising and social media campaigns. [The Telegram, 8/20/2019]

The Devil Made Him Do It

Jeremiah Ehindero, 41, pastor of Jesus Miracle Church in Sango-Ota, Nigeria, blamed the devil for his trouble with the law after stealing an SUV from a local Toyota dealership. Ehindero negotiated a price for the Highlander, which he said would be used for "evangelism," then asked for a test drive -- and never came back, the Daily Post reported on Aug. 19. He later sold the vehicle to a spare parts dealer for about $1,650. According to police, Ehindero confessed he stole the car to repay a loan from a microfinance bank in Lagos after tithes and offerings from his congregation were insufficient. "When the pressure from the microfinance bank became unbearable for me, the devil told me to steal a vehicle from the car dealer to sell and use the proceeds to repay the loan. I regret my action." Ehindero and his accomplices were arrested in Ondo State. [Daily Post, 8/19/2019]

Creme de la Weird

In Stockholm, Sweden, an unnamed man attending a traditional crayfish party on Aug. 20 at the Skansen Aquarium was delivering a speech while standing on a rock in a restricted area. As he spoke, he rested his arm on a glass barrier -- until the crocodile who lives in the tank "jumped up and grabbed his lower arm," Jonas Wahlstrom, owner of the aquarium, told CNN. But that isn't the weird part of the story. The dastardly crocodile in this story was formerly owned by ... Fidel Castro. The croc was one of two given to a Russian cosmonaut in 1970, who took the animals to Moscow. Wahlstrom eventually brought them to Stockholm. The croc "lost its grip after 10 seconds," Wahlstrom said, leaving the victim with injuries to his lower arm and hand. [CNN, 8/21/2019]

Bright Idea

Dave Schmida, 21, of Sturbridge, Massachusetts, set out on Aug. 12, determined to get rid of a hornet's nest three stories high under a corner of his family's roof. He first tried spraying the nest with Raid, but when that didn't work, he got creative. As his brother Matthew recorded video of the extermination, Dave lit up a Roman candle and pointed the fiery balls at the nest, reported the Worcester Telegram. The first two or three missed their mark, but when his ammunition connected with the nest, it burst into flames, killing the wasps but setting the eaves on fire as well. Schmida rushed up to a nearby window and used a fire extinguisher to put the flames out. "I would say mission accomplished," he said, even though there is now a small hole in the house. [Worcester Telegram, 8/15/2019]

Crime Report

An attempted burglary in Oronoco Township, Minnesota, unfolded in an unusual manner on Aug. 15. Police responded to a burglary in progress call to find that alledged thief Kirsten Hart, 29, had scuffled with a 64-year-old woman before making off with pill bottles, debit and credit cards, $150 cash and a fake $1 million bill. Hart had run out of the house with part of her shirt ripped off, which led a passing motorist to ask if she was hurt and needed a ride. Hart accepted, climbing into the trunk of the car, according to KIMT. The driver later told police he realized something wasn't right but panicked and drove off. Police also said they found iPads stolen from a local STEM school in Hart's car. She and an accomplice face multiple charges. [KIMT, 8/16/2019]

Snowflakes Falling Everywhere

Ex-cons, juvenile delinquents and drug addicts are getting new monikers in San Francisco, thanks to the Board of Supervisors' new "person-first" language guidelines. For example, the San Francisco Chronicle reported, someone just released from prison will be a "justice-involved person"; a repeat offender will be a "returning resident." People on probation will be "persons under supervision." The under-18 criminal crowd will be known as "young people impacted by the juvenile justice system." Those suffering from addiction will be "people with a history of substance use." Words such as "convict" and "inmate" "only serve to obstruct and separate people from society and make the institutionalization of racism and supremacy appear normal," the board's resolution reads. "Referring to them as felons is like a scarlet letter," Matt Haney, board supervisor, said. [San Francisco Chronicle, 8/11/2019]

-- Singer Wayne Newton was sued in District Court on Aug. 6 by a mother and daughter over an incident involving a monkey that took place in October 2017 at Newton's home in Las Vegas, where the daughter was an invited guest, according to court documents. Genevieve Urena, a minor, was touring the home when Newton's pet monkey, Boo, "without any provocation ... attacked and bit Ms. Urena, causing injury to her body as well as emotional distress," the suit claims, according to KVVU TV. The Urenas assert that Newton "had a duty to exercise due care" and should have known that Boo had a tendency to attack. They are seeking $15,000 in damages. [KVVU, 8/8/2019]

-- In Perth, Australia, two pig farmers face jail time after illegally importing Danish pig semen in shampoo bottles. The Guardian reported that Torben Soerensen and Henning Laue, of GD Pork, were sentenced to three years and two years in prison, respectively, after pleading guilty to breaching quarantine and biosecurity laws by bringing in the contraband numerous times between 2009 and 2017 to be used in GD Pork's artificial breeding program. Australian agriculture minister Bridget McKenzie said, "GD Pork imported the semen illegally in an attempt to get an unfair advantage over its competitors, through new genetics." Western Australian Farmers Federation spokesperson Jessica Wallace called the acts "selfish": "How extremely disappointing." GD Pork also was fined $500,000. [The Guardian, 8/13/2019]

Thank You, I Think?

The Richmond Times-Dispatch reported on Aug. 11 that in the overnight hours, more than 50 old-style television sets had been deposited on the front porches of homes in Henrico County, Virginia. Henrico Police Lt. Matt Pecka said the culprits were caught on several doorbell cameras, with one of the videos showing a person wearing TV-shaped headgear while dropping off the TV. Even more puzzling, a similar phenomenon happened last year in nearby Glen Allen, where 20 sets were left on porches. Pecka said the only crime that might have been committed is illegal dumping: "We don't believe there's any reason for the community to be alarmed." [Richmond Times-Dispatch, 8/11/2019]

Bright Idea

A Twitter user known only as "Dorothy," 15, was banned from her phone by her mom in early August after becoming distracted while cooking and starting a fire, but that didn't stop her, reported The Guardian. First she tweeted from a Nintendo 3DS gaming device, but Mom caught on quickly and posted that the account would be shut down. The next day, Dorothy tweeted from her Wii U, assuring followers that while Mom was at work, she'd be looking for her phone. Finally, on Aug. 8, with no other options left, Dorothy reached out to Twitter from an unlikely source: her family's LG smart refrigerator. "I am talking to my fridge what the heck my Mom confiscated all of my electronics again," she posted. The post went viral, even prompting LG to tweet about it with the hashtag #FreeDorothy. [The Guardian, 8/13/2019]

Scary

Cambodian farmer Sum Bora, 28, is lucky to be alive after spending almost four days wedged between boulders in the jungle northwest of Phnom Penh. On Aug. 4, as Bora was collecting bat guano for use as fertilizer, he slipped while trying to retrieve the flashlight he had dropped down a crevice, The Washington Post reported. After three days, his brother found him and alerted authorities, who worked about 10 hours to free Bora from the hollow where he was trapped. He was transported to a local hospital. [Washington Post, 8/7/2019]

Least Competent Criminal

Larry Adams, 61, of Daytona Beach, Florida, came out swinging late on Aug. 12, complaining that neighbors were playing their music too loudly in the parking lot of their apartment complex. Adams emerged from his apartment threatening to shoot them and brandishing nunchucks, which he then hit himself in the head with. Police officers responding to a 911 call told WOLF-Fox 35 that Adams also sprayed everyone with roach repellent, causing them to cough and their skin to burn. "We not even roaches, so why are we getting sprayed with roach spray for?" wondered neighbor Cici Sylvester. Adams, sporting a goose egg on his forehead, was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. [Fox 35, 8/13/2019]

True Love

For 68 years, Francis and Rosemary Klontz of Sacramento, California, have not just shared the ups and downs of marriage and family. They've cemented their bond by coordinating their outfits -- every day! -- for almost seven decades. Francis lets his wife pick out his clothes each morning: "She just lays it out for me, and I don't have to worry about a thing!" he told KOVR TV. The couple also sing together, performing at church, hospitals and around the house. They started dating in junior high school in Auburn, Washington, and the dressing alike custom started when Rosemary's mother bought them matching shirts. "We've been matching ever since," Rosemary said. [KOVR, 8/12/2019]

Government in Action

What a relief! The U.S. Department of Transportation announced on Aug. 8 that miniature horses are cleared to fly in all cabins of commercial planes as emotional support and service animals. The agency called "dogs, cats and miniature horses" the "most commonly recognized service animals," Fox News reported. However, other organizations, including the Association of Flight Attendants, have urged a tightening of rules about the animals because of "rampant abuse" of service animal designations. Apparently, the DOT said "neiiiighhhh" to that. [Fox News, 8/15/2019]

Oops!

A Gwinnett County (Georgia) medical examiner has resigned after wildly misinterpreting the cause of death for 61-year-old Ray Neal of Lawrenceville, who died on July 21. Despite reports by police and witnesses of large amounts of blood on the floor and walls at scene, investigator Shannon Byers initially ruled Neal had died of natural causes. But when his body arrived at the funeral home, employees discovered a hole in his neck, Fox 5 News reported, and Neal was returned to the morgue for an autopsy, which revealed he had been stabbed several times. Police are now investigating the death as a murder. [Fox 5, 7/27/2019]

The Devil Is in the Details

Was there or was there not a clown? And what exactly is "fancy dress"? In the early hours of July 26, The Guardian reported, a "mass brawl" broke out in a buffet area of the P&O cruise ship Britannia, which was bound from Bergen, Norway, to Southampton, England. Witnesses told staff that the fight started when one passenger became angry that another was wearing a clown outfit, because they had specifically booked a cruise with no fancy dress. Another witness said the clown had crashed a black-tie party. But P&O later said in a statement there was no clown, and Hampshire police confirmed: "There is no information to suggest that a clown or anyone wearing fancy dress was involved in this incident." A number of passengers were injured in the brawl by flying furniture and plates, and two passengers were arrested, then later released. [The Guardian, 7/28/2019]

Compelling Explanation

Fanny Alida Beerepoot and her brother, Rembertus Cornelis Beerepoot, Christian missionaries in Tasmania, were ordered by the supreme court there to pay $2.3 million to the Australian Taxation Office on July 17 after failing to remit the estimated $930,000 in income taxes and other charges they owed in 2017. The Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported the dispute stems from the Beerepoots' contention that taxation "goes against God's will." Representing themselves, the siblings explained they had paid income taxes prior to 2011, but then came to realize that "the law of Almighty God is the supreme law of this land," and "transferring our allegiance from God to the Commonwealth would mean rebelling against God." Also in 2017, the family's property in Mole Creek was seized after they refused to pay property taxes on it for seven years. [ABC, 7/17/2019]

Lake Worth, Florida, homeowner Phil Fraumeni emerged from his house on July 19 to find a white Tesla not only parked on his lawn, but tethered to an outlet on his house, charging the car's battery. Fraumeni told WPBF he waited a couple of hours, then called police. The car was not stolen, and police were able to contact the owner, who showed up around noon and told Fraumeni he had been visiting friends in the neighborhood when the battery died around midnight. Fraumeni declined to press charges (pun intended) and did not ask for reimbursement for the 12 hours of electricity the car used. [WPBF, 7/23/2019]

Recent Alarming Headline

Alex Bonilla, 49, took revenge to an extreme on the man he told police he had caught cheating with his wife in May, according to WCJB. On July 14, Gilchrist County (Florida) Sheriff's deputies said, Bonilla entered a house in the town of Bell, firing a gunshot and forcing a man inside into a bedroom, where he tied the man up and, using scissors, cut off his penis, which he ran away with. Later that day, deputies arrested Bonilla at his place of employment; his bond was set at $1.25 million. The family of the victim declined to comment, but said through the sheriff's office the victim was doing well medically. [WCJB, 7/17/2019]

T(winning)

Keep up with us here: On Aug. 1, identical twin brothers Andy and Chad Baker of Nashville, Tennessee, were on their way to the annual Twins Day Festival in Twinsburg, Ohio, in their identical blue Tesla Model 3s, when an Ohio state trooper pulled them both over for having identical license plates, reading "SUBJ TO." The brothers patiently explained to the officer that the plates are, in fact, different: In one, "TO" is spelled with a zero, and in the other, it's spelled with a capital O. "Nobody likes getting pulled over by police, we were both nervous, but it's a great story and we will tell it all weekend," Andy told Fox8. [Fox8, 8/1/2019]

Can't Stand the Heat

-- It's been a hot summer in Europe. Among those suffering was an unnamed 66-year-old military veteran in the small southeastern French town of Les Arcs-sur-Argens, who had been complaining for several weeks to his landlady, Maryse Malin, 71, about the lack of air conditioning in his villa. That may have been why, the Local reported, he shot the "sweet, kind and caring lady" three times, killing her. Malin had agreed to install air conditioning but told the tenant it couldn't be done until October. [The Local, 8/1/2019]

-- Two men in Antwerp, Belgium, felt the heat on July 24 when they accidentally got locked in a shipping container full of cocaine in the huge port there, reported AFP. That day, temperatures reached a record high of 104 degrees Fahrenheit, stifling the 24- and 25-year-old, who had entered the container "to remove drugs," according to prosecutors. As the mercury rose, they desperately called a police emergency number and when police finally found them two hours later, they gratefully gave themselves up. Port workers were videoed pouring water over the pair to try to lower their body temperatures. [AFP, 7/25/2019]

Going to Extremes

Kim Gordon, 55, vanished on Feb. 25, according to his 17-year-old son, after going for a nighttime swim at Monastery Beach in Monterey, California, an area with a deadly reputation sometimes called "Mortuary Beach." The Associated Press reported that police searched for three days before learning the Scotsman from Edinburgh, also known as Kim Vincent Avis, faced 24 charges of rape in Scotland, which made them suspicious about the story. "When that came up, we start to wonder if this is a hoax," said Monterey County sheriff's Capt. John Thornburg. Finally, on July 26, the U.S. Marshals Service announced it had caught up with Gordon in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where he is now being held; the son had been returned to Scotland and will not be charged with filing a false report. [Associated Press, 7/27/2019]

Wait, What?

In a product expansion move that inspires one to shout, "Stay in your lane!" Oscar Meyer announced on Aug. 1 that it is entering the dessert category with the Ice Dog Sandwich -- an ice cream sandwich with cookie "buns" surrounding bits of candied hot dog meat and spicy mustard ice cream. United Press International reported that the company partnered with a New York ice cream company to create the confectionary treat. BONUS: French's announced the day before the creation of its own mustard-flavored ice cream together with Coolhaus. [UPI, 8/1/2019]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Police in Sydney, Australia, had a drug bust land in their laps on July 22, when an unnamed man slammed a van loaded with 600 pounds of methamphetamines into a patrol car parked outside a suburban police station. The car was empty at the time of the collision, Reuters reported. The van sped away from the scene, but police caught up with the 28-year-old driver an hour later and charged him with drug supply and negligent driving. The drugs had an estimated street value of about $140 million. [Reuters, 7/22/2019]

-- Michael Harrell, 54, strolled into a U.S. Bank in Cleveland on July 29 with a note demanding cash from a teller: "This is a robbery. Don't get nobody hurt." Unfortunately, according to WJW, he wrote the note on a document he had apparently received from the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles, which included his full name and address. The teller, who called Harrell by his first name after seeing it on the letter, gave him $206 and summoned police, who later arrested him. [WJW, 8/1/2019]

Sticking It to the (Recycling) Man

A man in southern Spain who is a serial mocker of recycling efforts was fined 45,000 euros ($50,000) and ordered to retrieve a refrigerator he tossed down a hillside in July. Spain's Guardia Civil identified the man from a Twitter video he posted of the refrigerator incident with the truck he used, and its license plate, clearly visible behind him, The Local reported. He could also be seen in a different video throwing a washing machine into the ravine in the same area. The truck was registered to a house-clearing company in Almeria, from which the man was promptly fired. In a tit for tat, officers later posted video of the man struggling to bring the refrigerator back up the hill. [The Local, 8/6/2019]

Rude Awakening

Alice Coleman, 61, of Fort Lauderdale, Florida, hopped out of bed early on Aug. 5 to check on a fire alarm that was blaring outside her apartment. When she opened her door, 34-year-old Fitzroy Morton confronted her, brandishing a "big butcher knife," Coleman told WSVN. Morton told her, "No, mama. Everything gon' be all right," but Coleman set him straight: "Everything's not going to be all right. I'm not your mama. I don't know who you are. Get out of my house." Then she bit him, "... and I didn't even have my teeth in my mouth like now," she explained. Coleman ran out of the apartment, where Morton locked himself in, and called police from a neighbor's apartment. Morton was charged with three felonies, and Coleman is vowing to be more cautious: "I'll open my door with my Taser because I have one." [WSVN, 8/6/2019]

Force of Nature

As a storm rolled through Port Charlotte, Florida, on Aug. 4, Marylou Ward and her husband got an explosive surprise. Ward said she heard a "boom" that was the loudest noise she'd ever heard. "We smelled smoke and I looked outside," she told WINK News. Smoke was coming from her septic tank, but it was the indoor effect that really shocked them: Her master bedroom toilet was in hundreds of pieces. A plumber explained that a nearby lightning strike ignited methane gas that had built up in the pipes and septic tank, destroying not only the tank and the toilet, but the indoor plumbing as well. Fortunately, no one was hurt: "I'm just glad none of us were on the toilet," Ward said. [WINK News, 8/5/2019]