In a whole new twist on stomach pumping, doctors in Quang Tri, Vietnam, saved 48-year-old Nguyen Van Nhat's life in January by transfusing 15 cans of beer INTO his stomach. As Dr. Le Van Lam explained to the Daily Mail, alcohol contains both methanol and ethanol, and the liver breaks down ethanol first. But after a person stops drinking, the stomach and intestines continue to release alcohol into the bloodstream -- even if the drinker has lost consciousness -- and alcohol levels continue to rise. In Nhat's case, upon arrival at the hospital, his blood methanol level was 1,119 times higher than the appropriate limit. Doctors administered one can of beer every hour to slow down his metabolizing of methanol, which gave them time to perform dialysis. Nhat spent three weeks in the hospital before returning home. [Daily Mail, 1/16/2019]

Names in the News

Your giggle for the week: During a Jan. 17 special program on ITV Westcountry in the United Kingdom about how police forces are suffering under budget cuts, a certain officer interviewed for the show got more attention for his name than for his opinions about the budget. PC Rob Banks has undoubtedly heard clever remarks about his name all his life, reported Plymouth Live, but Twitter users from as far away as Australia found it newly hilarious. [Plymouth Live, 1/18/2019]

Try the Decaf

Officers in Madison, Wisconsin, were called to a home on Jan. 20 by an unnamed 34-year-old male resident who went on a spree of destruction when he thought his wife had destroyed his prized collection of action figures. Madison Police Chief Mike Koval wrote in his blog that officers arrived to find an ax buried in the windshield of a car. The man explained to them he had overreacted and used the log-splitting ax to chop up a TV, TV stand, laptop computer and other items in the house before going outside to attack his car, chopping off both side mirrors and breaking out the windshield, reported WMTV. He admitted to officers that he had also been drinking too much, and he was charged with disorderly conduct and felony damage to property. [WMTV, 1/21/2019]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

A 19-year-old man from Nice, France, has received a four-month (suspended) sentence for a clever plot he hatched in September. The man, known only as Adel, removed a PlayStation 4 from a supermarket shelf on Sept. 17 and took it to the produce aisle, where he weighed it and printed out a price sticker for fruit. Then he used the self-checkout line to pay and left the store with a $389 piece of electronics for about $10. Adel sold the PlayStation for $114 to buy a train ticket. The next day, he tried the same scheme, but police caught him in the act. He will only have to serve his sentence if he re-offends, reported Kotaku.com. [Kotaku.com, 1/29/2019]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Oh, those pesky surveillance cameras. Alexander Goldinsky, 57, had a bright idea for collecting some cash, but it was just so 1990s. While working as an independent contractor at a Woodbridge, New Jersey, business, Goldinsky scattered some ice on the floor in the company's kitchen area, then carefully arranged himself on the floor as if he had slipped and fallen, according to United Press International. Then, as the security cameras rolled, he waited to be discovered. He was arrested in January on charges of insurance fraud and theft by deception, after the Middlesex County Prosecutor's Office said Goldinsky filed a false insurance claim for an ambulance ride and treatment at a local hospital. [United Press International, 2/1/2019]

-- For David Rodriguez, 28, it was his disguise of choice that tripped him up as he robbed a 7-Eleven store in Fort Myers, Florida, on Feb. 2, according to the Lee County Sheriff's Office. Rodriguez donned a gray hoodie and a wig before approaching the counter at the store, showing a gun and demanding cash, reported the Miami Herald. When officers arrived, they got a detailed description, including the wig, and "additional witness information" led them to a nearby apartment. Inside they found Rodriguez, and "in plain view, a gray hooded sweater, several wigs and a large amount of wadded up cash." Bingo! Rodriguez was charged with robbery with a firearm. [Miami Herald, 2/3/2019]

Inexplicable

-- For UNC-Greensboro student Maddie (no last name provided), there really was a monster in the closet. Or at least a guy named Drew. After returning to her apartment on Feb. 2, Maddie heard strange noises coming from her closet. She put her hand on the door and said, "Who's in there?" "My name's Drew," answered the intruder, according to WFMY TV. Maddie continued talking with him, and when she opened the door, Drew was sitting on the floor of the closet, dressed in her clothing. He also had a bag full of her clothes, shoes and socks. Andrew Clyde Swofford, 30, begged her not to call police, and she chatted with him for another 10 minutes, "everything about his life and basically how he got in my closet," she said. Swofford left when Maddie's boyfriend arrived, and police caught up with him at a nearby gas station, where he was arrested for misdemeanor breaking and entering. Maddie told reporters she thinks Swofford has been in her apartment before: "We always joke that there's a ghost in here because I've been missing clothes since I've been living here." She signed a lease for a new apartment a few days later. [WFMY, 2/5/2019]

-- Sharisha Morrison of Albuquerque, New Mexico, and her neighbors have been the recipients since Jan. 1 of an odd gift: plastic grocery bags with slices of bread and bologna inside, delivered by an unknown man. At first, Morrison told KOB TV, she thought the food deliveries were acts of kindness, until she opened the bag and smelled the contents. "It smelled like urine," she said. Morrison said she can watch the man on her surveillance camera. "He'll just walk up and drop it on the little doorknob and walk away," she said. "I just want it to stop." Police have told her they can't do anything unless they catch him in the act. [KOB TV, 1/29/2019]

The Way the World Works

Residents of the small town of Hilgermissen in northwestern Germany voted decisively on Feb. 3 against naming the community's streets. Currently, addresses are a house number and the name of one of the former villages that combined to create Hilgermissen in the 1970s, reported the Associated Press. Officials had hoped that street names would ease the jobs of emergency services and delivery drivers, but 60 percent of the 2,200 citizens rejected the council's plan. The recent result will be binding for two years. [Associated Press, 2/3/2019]

Thieving With Style

A BP gas station in Swansea, South Carolina, was the setting for a reprise of at least one iconic moment from 1984's "The Karate Kid," according to Fox News. On Jan. 26, as surveillance cameras looked on, an unidentified man struck Mr. Miyagi's signature Crane Technique pose -- twice -- before stealing a purse from a parked car nearby. The Swansea Police Department posted the video to its Facebook page, and with the public's help, officers were able to identify the man and issue warrants for his arrest. [Fox News, 2/2/2019]

Vaev, a Los Angeles-based internet startup, is offering consumers the "luxury to choose" when to become sick with a cold, gushes 34-year-old Oliver Niessen, the company's founder. For $79.99, Vaev will send you a box containing a petri dish, which houses a facial tissue used by a sick person. Niessen explained to Time magazine that the recipient wipes their nose with the provided tissue and contracts a cold virus to get it out of the way before, say, leaving on a vacation. But Charles Gerba, professor of microbiology at the University of Arizona, debunked Niessen's theory: "There are more than 200 types of rhinoviruses ... getting inoculated from one doesn't protect you against all the others." He adds that Vaev's customers will never know what exactly is on the provided tissues, which Niessen says are produced by a "stable" of 10 go-to sneezers, some recruited on the internet. Still, Neissen claims to have sold about 1,000 used tissues, although the company's website currently shows the product as sold out. "We've had some supply-chain issues," Niessen said, without offering details. [Time, 1/18/2019]

Gift With Purchase

A shopper at a Primark store in Essex, England, was startled to discover a human bone in a sock on Dec. 10. Essex police reassured the public that the bone "did not appear to be a result of recent trauma," and it did not have any skin attached to it, according to Sky News. A Primark spokesman said the company is checking with its supplier, and "No evidence of any kind exists to suggest that any incident has occurred in the factory, so it is highly probable that this object was placed in the sock by an individual for unknown reasons." [Sky News, 1/25/2019]

Police Report

A motorist in New Canaan, Connecticut, called police on Jan. 23 after spotting a woman stopped at an intersection in the driver's seat of her car with her eyes closed. When officers arrived, they found Stefanie Warner-Grise, 50, "unable to answer basic questions," according to the arrest report. They "detected an odor of vanilla coming from her breath (and) her speech was slurred. ... In addition, several bottles of pure vanilla extract were located inside the vehicle." The Hour reported Warner-Grise failed field sobriety tests and she was charged with driving under the influence of vanilla extract. The Food and Drug Administration requires that pure vanilla extract must be at least 35 percent alcohol, which makes it 70 proof. [The Hour, 1/24/2019]

It's Good to Have Goals

Pavol Durdik added another Guinness world record to his collection Aug. 3 in Puchov, Slovakia by extinguishing 62 lighted matches with his tongue within one minute, according to United Press International. In a video posted by Guinness World Records on Jan. 25, Durdik had the matches laid out in front of him and lighted each one before putting it out on his tongue. He also holds the record for most socks put on one foot within 30 seconds. [UPI, 1/28/2019]

Gutsy

So much for advanced Russian security. As art lovers browsed an exhibition at Moscow's Tretyakov Gallery on Jan. 27, Euro News reported, a thief nonchalantly strolled in, plucked a 1908 landscape by Arkhip Kuindzhi off the wall, and walked out of the building. Police quickly viewed surveillance video and arrested a 31-year-old man, who admitted he hid the painting, worth an estimated $185,000, in an unfinished building nearby. The gallery was able to recover the painting and announced that "security measures have been reinforced ... at all venues of the Tretyakov Gallery." [Euro News, 1/28/2019]

Least Competent Criminal

Police in Austin, Texas, caught up with 19-year-old suspect Luca P. Mangiarano on Jan. 24, a month after a bank robbery in large part because of his choice in getaway vehicles. According to police, Mangiarano stepped into the BBVA Compass bank on Dec. 18 and handed a note to a teller, reading: "This is a robbery, please give me all your 100's and 50's in a envelope and everything will be ok." The employee did as directed and the robber left the building, then hopped on a Jump electric scooter and took off down the sidewalk. He perhaps failed to consider that the scooters are linked to GPS tracking systems and online accounts with phone numbers, email addresses and credit card information, which, after police obtained them from Jump, led them to Mangiarano. Austin Detective Jason Chiappardi told The Washington Post: "We had never had a scooter involved in a robbery." [Washington Post, 1/29/2019]

Bright Idea

Outdoorsman Scott Ritchie of Loveland, Colorado, has a new lease on life thanks to 3D printing. Ritchie, 52, was diagnosed with a rare form of bone cancer in early 2018 after noticing pain in his hip after fly-fishing. CBS4 in Denver reported Dr. Ronald Hugate of the Panorama Orthopedics and Spine Center in Highlands Ranch took an aggressive and creative approach to treating Ritchie: He made a 3D virtual model of Ritchie's pelvis, then designed an implant to exactly replace the area of bone that would have to be surgically removed. Made of titanium, the implant was produced using a 3D printer. Two weeks later after surgery, Ritchie was walking with crutches and is expected to walk on his own in a few weeks more, although he was warned he might have a limp. "If I do have a limp, it's better than nothing," Ritchie said. [CBS4, 1/28/2019]

Uh, No

On Jan. 29, the Chenoa (Illinois) Police Department put a call out for volunteers to help with a training session taking place that evening. "Officers are undergoing their annual Taser training tonight ... and are looking for members of the public who are willing to volunteer for the experience," announced WEEK-TV. Volunteers were required to sign an "exposure waiver" in order to participate, but it was unclear whether the Tasers would be live. [25 News, 1/29/2019]

Ewwww!

Penny Pospisil, 47, of Sumter County, Florida, was arrested on Jan. 25 for the alleged murder of her boyfriend, 55-year-old Anthony Mitchell, according to WFTV. Investigators believe that last August, in the Lake Pan RV Village where Pospisil and Mitchell lived, she killed Mitchell and cut his body into pieces, living with the remains in their camper. When neighbors asked about him, she explained that Mitchell had died of natural causes and she had him cremated. But they also noticed a foul odor coming from the camper and that Pospisil was regularly showering at the pool. When police arrived in December to investigate her overdue lot fee, she told them that she was a victim of domestic violence and had killed Mitchell in self-defense. She faces charges of second-degree murder and abuse of a dead human body. [WFTV, 1/28/2019]

Blame It on the Meth

Debra Lynn Johnson, 69, of Searles, Minnesota, suffered from heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure and mental illnesses, according to the Mankato Free Press, and was a patient at a transitional care center before her husband took her home to have a "death party," he later told authorities. Brown County sheriff's officers responding to a 911 call from Duane Arden Johnson, 58, on Jan. 24 found the words "Death Parde God Hell" spray-painted on the front door. Duane came out of the house naked, yelled that his wife was dead and ran back inside, where officers found him in the bathtub picking "things" from his skin. Debra's body, still warm, was wrapped in a sheet. Duane told police his wife had begged him to take her home to die, so they had staged the party, "rocking out" to Quiet Riot's "Metal Health" and taking methamphetamines. After her death, Duane said he washed and wrapped her "like the Bible told me to do." Police found stolen guns and hundreds of rounds of ammunition in the home, and Duane was charged with felony counts of theft and receiving stolen property. [Mankato Free Press, 1/26/2019]

-- Because white shoes are so distracting when you're lining up your putt? According to Time magazine, Nike will be mowing over the competition with its new Air Max 1 golf shoes, which feature uppers covered with a green material that resembles grass. Matching green laces will further disguise your dogs as you play a round, but lest you think you'll disappear altogether, fear not: The trademark Nike swoosh on the sides is bright white. The sneakers, yet to be released, are expected to retail for $140. [Time, 1/14/2019]

-- Just when you thought there was nothing new under the blue jeans sun: A Ukrainian designer is asking $377 for a pair of jeans that have one fitted leg and one flared leg. Ksenia Schnaider, who calls her design the Asymmetric Jean, told DazedDigital.com: "It's good to get people talking, and they're definitely going to make people turn their heads as you walk by!" [DazedDigital.com, 1/11/2019]

People With(out) Issues

Rachel Childs, 29, of Pearland, Texas, is not autistic and doesn't have a twin autistic sister, according to the Houston Chronicle. Nevertheless, she hired a caregiver for her (fake) twin sister who is (not) autistic. The elaborate plot, which played out in early January, involved the caregiver picking up the "twin" at Childs' house and taking her to the caregiver's home, where he was hired to care for her overnight. But when Childs' "twin" exhibited sexual conduct toward the caregiver, he became suspicious and investigated Childs, then contacted police. Childs was charged with burglary of a habitation with intent to commit assault and indecent exposure. [Houston Chronicle, 1/17/2019]

Precocious

-- Employees of John J. Murphy Elementary School in Round Lake Park, Illinois, were surprised on Jan. 9 when a car drove into the drop-off lane and an 11-year-old student exited the driver's seat. Witnesses alerted police, who issued an arrest warrant for the front-seat passenger, 31-year-old Khafilu M. Oshodi of Round Lake, for two counts of child endangerment; a 9-year-old was riding in the back seat. Police Chief George Filenko told the Lake County News-Sun the situation could have "resulted in any number of tragic scenarios." The children have been placed with other relatives, and police are still looking for Oshodi. [Lake County News-Sun, 1/21/2019]

-- Alijah Hernandez of Houston is a skilled barber in her father's shop, reported KTRK-TV on Jan. 17 -- which wouldn't ordinarily be newsworthy. But Alijah is only 7 years old. Her dad, Franky, says she's been watching him since she was a toddler and started perfecting her skills three years ago. For her part, Alijah says cutting hair comes naturally to her; she practices on friends and family (with her dad supervising) and has already faced off in barber competitions across Texas. [KTRK, 1/17/2019]

What's That up in the Sky?

-- The rare super blood wolf moon of Jan. 20 was so captivating to some skywatchers on Florida's Ponte Vedra Beach, that they didn't notice when the tide rolled in and waterlogged their Honda CRV. The St. Johns County Sheriff's Office told News4Jax the occupants were able to get out of the car and move to safety, although the vehicle itself wasn't recovered until the next day. A photo showed water up to the windshield on the front end. [News4Jax, 1/21/2019]

-- Meanwhile, in West Palm Beach, Florida, two unnamed 24-year-olds chose to view the Jan. 20 eclipse by lying prone in the middle of a dark road near the Apoxee Wilderness Trail. Which would have worked out fine, except around 11:30 p.m. a West Palm Beach police officer patrolling the area ran over the pair. Fortunately, reported the South Florida Sun Sentinel, he was cruising at just 5 mph, and the human speed bumps sustained only non-life-threatening injuries. The officer was put on paid administrative leave while the incident was investigated. [Sun-Sentinel, 1/21/2019]

Terrifying Technology

Laura Lyons of Orinda, California, was in her kitchen on the afternoon of Jan. 20 when a loud alert noise blared in the living room, followed by a detailed warning from "Civil Defense" that intercontinental ballistic missiles were on their way from North Korea to Los Angeles, Chicago and Ohio. Lyons told the San Jose Mercury News the message warned residents they had three hours to evacuate. As she and her husband absorbed the news, they realized it had come from their Nest security camera -- not from the TV, where the Rams-Saints game was proceeding as normal, and news channels were not reporting anything unusual. "It was five minutes of sheer terror," she said. The Lyonses called 911 and then Nest, where a supervisor told them they had been victims of a "third-party hack" on their camera and speakers. [San Jose Mercury News, 1/22/2019]

Self-Medicating

When a 33-year-old unnamed Irish man was admitted to a Dublin hospital with swelling in his right forearm and a rash, he surprised the attending physician with the "cure" he had been using for his back pain. For a year and a half, reported Canoe.com on Jan. 16, the man had been injecting his own semen into his right forearm. X-rays revealed a pool of the fluid under his skin, which had become infected. "He had devised this 'cure' independent of any medical advice," noted Dr. Lisa Dunne in the Irish Medical Journal. He also told Dr. Dunne that his back pain had worsened after lifting a heavy metal object. [canoe.com, 1/16/2019]

Latest Religious Messages

British retailer Marks & Spencer is in hot water with Muslims who claim the store's brand of toilet paper is embossed with the Arabic symbol for the word "God." An unnamed man posted a video to social media displaying a roll of M&S Aloe Vera 3-ply tissue and urging his Muslim brothers and sisters to avoid buying it or boycott the store altogether. Metro News reports that in response, Marks & Spencer says the symbol is of an aloe vera leaf: "The motif on the aloe vera toilet tissue, which we have been selling for over five years, is categorically of an aloe vera leaf, and we have investigated and confirmed this with our suppliers." [Metro News, 1/22/2019]

Keep That to Yourself

Dennis Palmer, 31, appeared to be guilty of more than TMI on Jan. 10 when police were called to a Walmart in Stuart, Florida. TCPalm.com reported that Palmer was in the pillow aisle when he was seen exposing and touching himself inappropriately. Palmer told police "he was just itching himself because he has crabs." But surveillance video recorded Palmer indulging in "rubbing" and activities other than scratching; "this continued for several minutes," the affidavit stated. When police asked Palmer what he was thinking, he replied that "he wasn't thinking, but he should have been thinking." He was jailed for exposure of sexual organs. [TCPalm.com, 1/22/2019]