Genevieve Snow, 29, hired a Brooklyn company, Joanna's Cleaning Service, to spruce up her apartment on Aug. 27. It wasn't her first transaction with the company, and she let two women in before leaving for work that day. But when one of Snow's roommates woke up, she found one of the cleaning ladies sitting on the couch, eating. "You know when you're not supposed to be doing something, people jerk up really quickly? They did that," the roommate, Kristen Nepomuceno, 28, told the New York Post. Nepomuceno left for work, but when she returned around 5:30 p.m., the apartment was trashed, one of the ladies was gone, and the other was passed out on the kitchen floor next to a smashed spice rack. She quickly left and called police, who arrived to find the cleaning lady was sitting on the couch, eating ice cream. "She is ... hammered, beyond hammered," Nepomuceno said. New York police refused to file a report, so Snow gave the cleaning service a bad review on Yelp. That's when the owner of the company Snow had previously used, Joanna Cleaning Service, got in touch to say a former (fired) employee had started Joanna's Cleaning Service and had taken Snow for a ride. Now Snow can't get in touch with EITHER Joanna and just wants to find out who's responsible for the damage so she can sue them. [NY Post, 10/2/2018]

Weird Science?

Officials in Midway, Arkansas, still don't know what caused flames to shoot out of a hole in the ground on Sept. 17. Volunteer fire chief Donald Tucker was summoned to private property at the edge of town where the flames were shooting up to 12 feet high, reported the Springfield News-Leader. Tucker inspected the site after the fire subsided and said the 2-foot-diameter hole was about 3 feet deep and made a 45-degree turn at the bottom. "I took a temperature reading of it and it showed 780 degrees inside the hole," he added, but he couldn't identify the source of the flames. There are no gas lines nearby, and there was no smell of gas before or during the fire. He also ruled out a meteor strike or flaming space junk. Geologists from the Arkansas Geological Survey inspected the hole and concluded it had been dug by an animal, but they took soil samples for testing. County judge Mickey Pendergrass said Satan had also been ruled out. [Springfield News-Leader, 9/19/2018]

Awesome!

Kotaku.com reported on Oct. 3 that gamer Xopher credits the arcade game "Dance Dance Revolution" with restoring his health. Xopher grew up in Arkansas and loved playing DDR at arcades. But when his cardiologist told him he'd have to trim down from his 325 pounds or risk needing a heart transplant, Xopher got serious about the game. He found an "excellently priced" DDR machine on eBay and restored it, starting with just three games a night. Between 2014 and 2018 he got to under 200 pounds: "I've gone from a blood pressure of 140/80 to 112/65. ... I was healthy for the first time in my life." He also said he's now playing DDR competitively. [Kotaku.com, 10/3/2018]

Family Values

On the day Ester Price, 95, of Pamplin, Virginia, was admitted to the hospital with an unexplained illness, her son-in-law, Jack David Price, 56, kindly brought her a coffee -- "not an ordinary event," according to an investigator. Doctors found signs of meth in her system, reported The News & Advance. Jack Price's stepdaughter told the Appomattox County Sheriff's Office she suspected he was trying to kill his mother-in-law, and a neighbor said Price had once told him he should "put some meth in her drink," then claimed to be only kidding. On Oct. 4, Price was sentenced to six years in prison after pleading guilty to two felonies. [News & Advance, 10/4/2018]

Funsuckers

If you're over 12 years old in certain parts of Virginia, you'd better hustle up your own fun for Halloween night. In several communities surrounding Chesapeake and Newport News, KUTV reported, city codes make it a misdemeanor for anyone over 12 to wear a costume and troll the neighborhood for candy. Penalties include fines ($25 to $100) and up to six months in jail. Even lawful trick-or-treaters must be done by 8 p.m., and in Newport News, parents accompanying children may not wear masks. [KUTV, 10/8/2018]

Inexplicable

Staci Tinney of Charleston, West Virginia, was expecting a bank statement when she picked up her mail on Oct. 8, but instead she found just one item in her mailbox: a laminated picture of a llama wearing sunglasses. Tinney's surveillance video showed "a woman was hanging out of the passenger's side of (a black pickup) truck ... removing things from my mailbox, and looked like she was putting something inside my mailbox," Tinney said. WCHS reported other neighbors also were missing mail and packages that day. Tinney told reporters the mail thieves claimed to be "handing out wedding invitations," but she was dubious: "We don't know anybody who knows a llama personally." Charleston police are investigating. [WCHS, 10/8/2018]

People With Too Much Time on Their Hands

Producers and sellers of senbei, a type of rice cracker, joined together in Soka, Japan, on Oct. 3 to break the Guinness World Record for ... wait for it ... creating the largest rice cracker mosaic. About 200 people constructed a rendering of Leonardo da Vinci's "Mona Lisa" using seven different colors of rice cracker. The mosaic, according to United Press International, measured 1,250 square feet and required more than 23,000 crackers. [UPI, 10/4/2018]

Recurring Themes

Frontier Airlines removed a passenger before takeoff from a flight from Orlando, Florida, to Cleveland on Oct. 9 because of her non-allowed "emotional support animal," a squirrel. Passengers were alerted to a "situation" and told they needed to exit the airplane, according to 24-year-old flyer Brandon Nixon of Ashland, Ohio. "You expect the worst when they say something like that," Nixon told the Associated Press. When he asked a flight attendant for more information, "All she said was 'a squirrel.'" Police were called when the woman and her squirrel refused to deplane, and she was escorted through the terminal, pumping her fist in the air as she held the squirrel on her lap. [Associated Press, 10/10/2018]

Least Competent Criminal

A Springfield, Missouri, man took to Facebook in July to proudly demonstrate how to remove an ankle monitor. Dustin W. Burns, 33, had pleaded guilty earlier this year to violating a restraining order and was placed on probation. Authorities believe it is Burns using a butter knife and a screwdriver in the video, saying, "This is how you take an ankle bracelet off without breaking the circuit," according to the Springfield News-Leader. The narrator advises against damaging the electronic equipment so as to avoid thousands of dollars in fines. Subsequent Facebook posts reference trips to Utah, Idaho and Oregon, and a video shows a man resembling Burns walking through a large marijuana farm with the caption "Dream come true." He has been in the Greene County jail since Aug. 28 and was charged in early October with tampering with electronic monitoring equipment, a felony. [Springfield News-Leader, 10/7/2018]

Police Report

Police officers in Richardson Forest Preserve, near Cincinnati, thought they had come across a body in a plastic trash bag dumped in the woods on Oct. 4. Instead, they found "Mandi," a life-size female sex doll, according to Metro News. Residents from the area have erected a shrine in the doll's memory, leaving flowers and candles along with messages, such as, "Mandi, you were taken too soon. We will remember you fondly. RIP." The doll is thought to be an expensive, high-end model, which makes the mystery of its disposal even more perplexing. [Metro News, 10/7/2018]

-- A husband and wife have been exposed as murderers and cannibals in Krasnodar in southern Russia, reported the Express on Sept. 28. Natalia Baksheeva, 43, has confessed to killing and eating dozens of victims with her husband, Dmitry, 35, over 18 years. Investigators were tipped off to the couple's gruesome culinary tastes after a 35-year-old waitress, Elena Vashrusheva, and Natalia fought over accusations that Vashrusheva was flirting with Dmitry. Natalia ordered her husband to kill Vashrusheva: "Following this demand, the man took out the knife that he always kept in his bag and stabbed the woman twice in her chest. The victim died from her injuries on the spot," investigators reported. Police charged Natalia with one count of goading her husband into killing the woman after they found "steamed," pickled and frozen human remains belonging to Vashrusheva in the couple's kitchen. A photo found in their apartment from 1999 showed a human head served as dinner, garnished with mandarin oranges. Dmitry, who has tuberculosis, will be charged at a later date. [Express, 9/28/2018]

-- Tu Thanh Nguyen, 32, of Sunnyvale, California, made two crucial mistakes while she was visiting Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in Michigan on Sept. 19. First, Nguyen was hiking alone, reported WLUC News. But her fatal error was stopping at a point along the North Country Trail to take selfies, where she slipped and fell 200 feet to her death in Lake Superior. Two kayakers witnessed her fall and retrieved her body, which they moved to Chapel Beach. However, first responders were unable to revive her. [WLUC, 9/20/2018]

Bold Moves

Three cheeky raccoons jolted a Toronto, Ontario, Canada, woman awake late on Sept. 18 when they broke into her kitchen. Jenny Serwylo heard noises coming from her kitchen and approached the critters with a broom, which scared away two out of the three. But a third wouldn't budge, barricaded behind her toaster oven and munching on a package of English muffins. "He was like, 'I'm eating, get out of here,'" Serwylo told the Toronto Star. She tried calling authorities but couldn't get any help, and her contest of wills with the raccoon lasted for more than a half-hour. "I was growling at him and hissing at him," she said. As she pointed the broom handle at the animal, it would grab the end and "yank it really hard." Finally, having consumed all the bread in the kitchen, the raccoon calmly went out the window, which Serwylo locked behind it. Toronto Animal Services spokesperson Bruce Hawkins told the Star that such encounters are unusual, but you be the judge: The city has created a guide for residents about how to deal with raccoon intrusions. [Toronto Star, 9/19/2018]

The Passing Parade

Gender reveal events, in which expectant parents creatively announce the sex of their unborn children, are taking on increasingly more ridiculous and, in some cases, dangerous proportions. To wit: Border Patrol Agent Dennis Dickey, 37, pleaded guilty on Sept. 28 to accidentally starting the April 2017 Sawmill Fire, which burned 47,000 acres in and around Madera Canyon in Arizona, prompting evacuations and closing highways, according to the Arizona Daily Star. It all started when Dickey and his pregnant wife hosted a gender reveal party at which he shot a target containing Tannerite, an explosive substance, and colored powder signifying the child's gender. When the target exploded, it caught nearby brush on fire, and Dickey immediately reported the wildfire and admitted he had started it. Dickey will pay $220,000 in restitution, and he is expected to keep his job. [Arizona Daily Star, 9/28/2018]

Oops

Things got tense for passengers on a GoAir flight from New Delhi to Patna, India, on Sept. 22 when a first-time flyer mistook an emergency exit door for the restroom. Travel + Leisure magazine reported that fellow passengers asked the man, in his 20s, what he was doing, to which he replied that he "needed to use the washroom urgently" and returned to tugging at the door. Airport official Mohammad Sanowar Khan explained: "Pandemonium prevailed ... and he was restrained. ... He said that the confusion happened because he had boarded a flight for the first time in his life." The unnamed traveler was questioned at the Patna airport. [Travel + Leisure, 9/26/2018]

What? Is That a Problem?

The Wagner Funeral Home in Jordan, Minnesota, made news on Sept. 26 when a judge released the details of a ruling against the mortuary for, among other violations, storing jarred applesauce in the same room where embalming takes place. Joseph Wagner, who runs the funeral home, was just helping out his brother, who owns nearby Wagner Bros. Orchard and needed some extra storage space, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune. But the Minnesota Department of Health took issue with the jars being stored adjacent to a hazardous waste container, where blood and other waste from the embalming process are disposed of, and under an emergency shower and blocking an emergency eyewash station. Wagner was ordered to correct the violations and pay a $5,000 penalty. [Minneapolis Star Tribune, 9/28/2018]

What's in a Name?

-- In the remote town of Yungar, Peru, two candidates for mayor with remarkable names are duking it out: Local politician Hitler Alba Sanchez, who served as mayor from 2011 to 2014, has been challenged by Lennin Vladimir Rodriguez Valverde. Sanchez told The Independent that his parents had been unaware of the Nazi connection to his name when he was born, but even after realizing its origins, his father liked it because it "sounded foreign." Peruvians are known for choosing foreign-sounding first names for their children: Last year, Peru's junior football team featured a player named Osama Vinladen. [The Independent, 9/24/2018]

-- Election season brings out the funny name stories: In Belgium, 26-year-old Luc Anus is running for a council seat in the city of Lobbes. But when he tried to incorporate social media into his campaign strategy, he hit a snag: Facebook wouldn't allow him to use his last name. The candidate didn't miss a beat, though: He changed his online name to Luc Anu. Metro News reported that there are 49 people in Belgium with the last name Anus. [Metro News, 9/24/2018]

Recent Alarming Headline

At a Port Orange, Florida, Walmart on Sept. 28, Tracy Nigh and her 8-year-old daughter were taking a break on a bench inside the store when 81-year-old Hellmuth Kolb approached them and asked if Nigh was married. "He didn't seem like a threat at first," Nigh told WKMG-TV, but then Kolb started offering to buy the little girl. "The first amount was $100,000, the second amount was $150,000 and then the final amount was $200,000," Nigh said. "I then said, 'No, we have to go.'" They rose to leave, but Kolb grabbed the girl's wrist and kissed it. Nigh alerted store security, and the encounter was recorded on surveillance video. Another woman reported a similar incident. Kolb was arrested and charged with simple battery and false imprisonment. [WKMG-TV, 10/2/2018]

Nature Calls

Neither rain, nor sleet ... nor need of a bathroom break could stop a postal carrier from delivering the mail -- and so much more -- to a Memphis, Tennessee, resident. FOX13 reported Sept. 28 that a homeowner's surveillance camera captured the postman looking around as he walked up the home's front porch and urinating as he approached the mailbox. He then placed mail inside the box and continued on his rounds, leaving a trail of urine on the porch and steps. The homeowner told FOX13 he still hasn't touched his mailbox because he is worried what could be on it. A spokesperson for the USPS said they are investigating the incident. [FOX 13, 9/28/2018]

Inexplicable

An employee at the Manassas, Virginia, Giant supermarket had a memorable day at work on Sept. 15 when he spotted Michael Dwayne Johnson, 27, in the produce aisle. As the employee watched, Metro News reported, Johnson pulled down his pants, picked up a piece of produce and rubbed it on his buttocks. Then he replaced the produce on the display and pulled his pants back up. Manassas Police charged Johnson with indecent exposure and destruction of property after the store was forced to destroy several pallets of fruit. Police did not release a motive. [Metro News, 9/19/2018]

Laurence Mitchell, 53, gets this week's Most Helpful Dad award for graciously driving his 15-year-old son and the son's girlfriend, also 15, to a Port St. Lucie, Florida, park on Sept. 6 so they could "do their thang," as Mitchell described it. The Smoking Gun reported that when Port St. Lucie police officer Clayton Baldwin approached Mitchell's car around 11:30 p.m., after the park had closed, Mitchell told him the kids "aren't out there stealing, they are just having sex. They could be out there doing worse." When the teenagers returned from the nearby soccer field, Mitchell's son told the officer they were "just smokin' and f---in'." Mitchell was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor. [The Smoking Gun, 9/17/2018]

Compelling Explanations

-- While shopping at a Peoria, Illinois, Walmart on Sept. 20, an unnamed 30-year-old woman filled her cart but also added a few items to her backpack: leggings, pencils, a quart of oil and a "Jesus Calling" Bible. After she paid for only the items in her cart, a loss prevention officer stopped her before she left the store. Peoria police were summoned, reported the Peoria Journal Star, and the woman explained to them she was hoping the Bible could help her spiritually: "(She) told me that it sounds strange, but she was trying to be more Christian," an officer reported. She was charged with misdemeanor theft. [Peoria Journal Star, 9/21/2018]

-- After trying repeatedly on Sept. 12 to pull over a Toyota Prius driving with expired tags on I-5 near Marysville, Washington, a Washington State Patrol officer finally caught up to the car at an intersection and verbally instructed the unnamed 42-year-old woman driver to pull over, reported the Everett Daily Herald. "I will not. I drive a Prius," was the woman's reply. The officer then asked her to step out of the vehicle, which she also refused to do, so he forced her out. "I will own your bank account," she told him. "I will own your house." When he asked her name, she responded, "None of your business." Finally, she was arrested for failing to obey instructions, failing to identify herself and obstruction. [Herald.net, 9/16/2018]

No Good Deed

Tammie Hedges of Goldsboro, North Carolina, founded the nonprofit Crazy's Claws N Paws in 2013 to help low-income families with vet bills and pet supplies, so it was natural for her to take in 27 animals displaced by Hurricane Florence in September. Hedges treated many of the animals, found in the streets or surrendered by fleeing residents, with antibiotics and painkillers for fleas, cuts and other ailments. For that, The Washington Post reported, she was arrested on Sept. 21 for practicing veterinary medicine without a license, after an official from Wayne County Animal Services visited the warehouse where the animals were housed. Kathie Davidson, a volunteer with Claws N Paws, said: "If she hadn't done what she did, then they'll be charging her with animal neglect and cruelty. What was she supposed to do?" Hedges was released on bond, and the charges were later dropped. [The Washington Post, 9/24/2018]

Bait and Switch

Ironman triathlete Jaroslav Bobrowski, 30, of Landshut, Bavaria, was banned Sept. 14 from Running Sushi, an all-you-can-eat restaurant, for eating too much sushi. The Local Germany reported Bobrowski, a former bodybuilder, ate close to 100 plates of sushi, which sent the restaurant into a panic and caused the owner and chef to tell him he was banished "because I'm eating too much." "He eats for five people," the owner complained. "That is not normal." [The Local Germany, 9/14/2018]

Wait, What?

An unnamed 26-year-old British woman appeared at Nuestra Senora de la Candelaria Hospital emergency room in Mojon de Arona, Tenerife, in the Canary Islands on Sept. 15 with extreme pain in her groin area. El Pais reported the doctor who examined her was surprised to find a dead, immature Chinese pond turtle lodged in her vagina. The woman told police she had attended a beach party the night before but could not remember what happened. (Given that the freshwater species is sold in pet shops, it's not likely that it got there by accident.) Police suspect she may have been the victim of a sexual assault, but she chose not to file a complaint. [El Pais, 9/21/2018]

People With Issues

In what the Porter County (Indiana) coroner later called "a blatant disregard for human life," two men posted a video of themselves "horseplaying" with a third man, 21-year-old Kyle Kearby, who was slumped over, suffering from an apparent drug overdose, on Sept. 9. The video shows one man tying cords to Kearby's hands and manipulating his arms like a puppet, and the other pumping Kearby's chest and moving his mouth while singing "You've Got a Friend in Me." Kearby's father told The Times his son returned home about 5:30 a.m. and went to bed, but later discovered him not breathing and covered with vomit. He died at a hospital. Porter County Sheriff Dave Reynolds said he does not suspect foul play. [nwi.com, 9/10/2018]

What Was Your First Clue?

Romance novelist Nancy Crampton Brophy, 68, was arrested on Sept. 5 on charges of murdering her husband, Daniel Brophy, 63, in Portland, Oregon, after apparently following her own advice, written in a 2011 essay titled "How to Murder Your Husband." In the essay, Crampton Brophy suggests that hiring a hit man is "never a good idea" and poison is traceable. Instead, reported The Oregonian, she allegedly shot her husband on June 2 at the Oregon Culinary Institute where Daniel was a beloved chef. Police did not release a motive, and a neighbor said Crampton Brophy "never showed any signs of being upset or sad." On Sept. 17, she pleaded not guilty in Multnomah County Circuit Court, and her trial is set for Oct. 26. [The Oregonian, 9/7/2018]

People Different From Us

The Martin County (Florida) Sheriff's Office has received repeated calls about a man in a Stuart neighborhood who conducts chores around the outside of his house in the nude. "I came out Sunday night to put the trash out, and I look over and he is bent over, winding up his hose, and I'm like that is my view of the neighborhood," huffed Melissa Ny to WPBF TV on Sept. 19. Other neighbors are taking a more measured approach. "Literally they are the nicest people you'll ever meet; they would give you their clothes if they had them on to give them to you," neighbor Aimee Canterbury told WPTV. The sheriff's department says there is nothing they can do as long as the man is on his own property and not touching himself inappropriately. The nudist declined to be interviewed, saying he and his family are private people. [WPBF, 9/19/2018; WPTV, 9/20/2018]

Weird Science

It's been a banner year for the spider population of Aitoliko, Greece, according to the Associated Press. Fueled by a huge increase in the numbers of lake flies, which the spiders eat, the spiders reproduced unusually fast and have covered coastal trees, bushes and low vegetation with blankets of thick, sticky webs. The webs run along a few hundred meters of the shoreline in the western Greek town and, according to residents, have the unexpected advantage of keeping mosquitoes away. [Associated Press, 9/21/2018]