During the 2014 World Cup, five friends in Durango, Mexico, made a pact to travel to the 2018 tournament in Russia. They saved their money, bought a bus, painted it in Mexico's colors and booked passage for themselves and the bus on a ship going to Spain, where The Daily Mail reported, the friends planned to drive the bus to Russia. But just before they boarded the ship in April, one of the five, Javier, told his friends his wife had put the kibosh on his trip. So the remaining four did the next best thing: They made a cardboard life-size cutout of Javier, looking grumpy and wearing a shirt that says, "My wife didn't let me go," and set off for Russia. The cardboard Javier has been very popular at the soccer venues, attracting female admirers, appearing on the big screen, crowdsurfing and being photographed with fellow football fans from all over the world. [The Daily Mail, 6/18/2018]

Anger Management

In North Port, Florida, a witness watched on June 17 as 75-year-old Helena Molnar beat an unnamed man with a water jug after he watered her plants. When he emptied the rest of the water in the jug on her plants, she went inside her house and returned with a different weapon, which the witness didn't see but said "made a different sound" than the water jug. According to WWSB TV, North Port police arrived to find the victim soaking wet, with blood drops on his shirt. Molnar was charged with battery. [WWSB, 6/19/2018]

Undignified Death

Samen Kondorura was joined by dozens of male relatives mourning his mother's death in North Toraja, South Sulawesi, Indonesia, on June 15, as they carried her coffin to a lakkean, a wooden stilt structure where dead bodies are stored during traditional funeral ceremonies. But as they hoisted the coffin up a bamboo ladder, The Jakarta Post reported, the ladder broke and the coffin fell, striking people in the crowd, including Kondorura himself, who suffered a severe head injury and died on the way to the hospital. [Jakarta Post, 6/15/2018]

Art Makes a Statement

-- At the Royal College of Art's annual London fashion show in June, one graduate unveiled a unique approach to accessorizing garments: crystallized bodily fluids. Alice Potts displayed a pair of ballet shoes decorated with crystals formed from sweat, along with a fake fur adorned with urine crystals. Potts told Reuters the "more natural materials" could offer environmental benefits not possible with traditional plastics. [Reuters, 6/20/2018]

-- To kick off an exhibition focused on the opioid crisis at his Stamford, Connecticut, art gallery on June 22, gallery owner Fernando Alvarez and artist Domenic Esposito placed an 800-pound, 11-foot-long steel sculpture of a bent and burned spoon in front of the headquarters of Purdue Pharma, makers of OxyContin. Purdue has been the subject of lawsuits alleging deceptive marketing and, therefore, responsibility for opioid addiction and overdose issues. "The spoon has always been an albatross for my family," said Esposito, whose brother has struggled with drug addiction for 14 years. The Associated Press reported police arrested Alvarez for obstructing free passage and confiscated the spoon as evidence. [Associated Press, 6/22/2018]

Awesome!

On June 23, firefighters of Engine 642 of the Henrietta, New York, Fire District went the extra mile after responding to an accident in which the injured driver was a pizza delivery man, according to Fox News. "Once the patient was cared for and loaded into the ambulance, the crew decided to finish the delivery so the pizza wouldn't go to waste," the fire department posted on its Facebook page. "If it's not delivery it's Di ... Fire dept?!" [Fox News, 6/23/2018]

Oops!

-- James J. Rynerson, 38, was being held in the Mesa County (Colorado) Jail in May after being charged with menacing, disorderly conduct and trespass. But on May 21, the Grand Junction Daily Sentinel reported, sheriff's deputies at the jail released him, having mistaken him for Marvin March, 35, a different inmate. Jail staff gave Rynerson March's belongings, and he wore March's leather jacket as he signed March's name to the release papers and left the facility. Rynerson's wife was startled to see her husband in the garage at their home, and after he explained what happened, she convinced him to go back. She "personally drove him back to the Mesa County Detention Facility," the report noted, and he was back in custody by 11 p.m., with new charges, including escape and forgery, added to his list. [Grand Junction Sentinel, 6/21/2018]

-- A woman in Wenling, China, was so thrilled to be driving the Ferrari 458 she rented on June 21 that she recorded herself while waiting at a stoplight: "First time driving a Ferrari. This truly is the most amazing feeling." But within minutes, reported the Daily Mail, she swerved out of control, striking a metal traffic barrier and a BMW X3, destroying the front end of the $660,000 Ferrari and deploying its airbags. Neither the driver nor her passenger was injured in the accident. [Daily Mail, 6/24/2018]

Recurring Themes

In this week's installment of foreign objects stuck in body cavities: Mr. Li of China's Guangdong Province went to the doctor on June 15 at Pingshan Hospital in Shenzhen after feeling discomfort and pain in his ear. Using an otoscope scan, the doctor discovered a live cockroach burrowing into the 52-year-old man's ear canal. "It's still alive, still moving," the doctor can be heard on video saying, according to The Daily Mail. She cut the roach into pieces to remove it and disinfected Li's ear with alcohol in case it had laid eggs. [Daily Mail, 6/18/2018]

News That Sounds Like a Movie

When Juan Ramon Alfonso Penayo, 20, of Santa Teresa, Paraguay, failed to return after leaving his home June 14, his family assumed the worst. The town lies on the border with Brazil, reported the BBC, and is a hotbed of illegal drug activity. Police found a charred body three days later and called Penayo's family, who, despite being unable to identify the remains, accepted that it must be him and proceeded with funeral arrangements. As they mourned over his casket during the wake, Penayo walked nonchalantly into the room. The body in the casket was returned to the morgue, and Penayo's family celebrated his return. [BBC, 6/19/2018]

Suspicions Confirmed

Visitors crowding into a Vancouver, Canada, street festival on June 17 were invited -- at $38 a pop -- to try a new health craze: Hot Dog Water. The drink is marketed as a gluten-free, Keto diet-compatible, post-workout source of sodium and electrolytes, and every sleek bottle, which promises to help with weight loss, also contains a hot dog. It's also a prank. Hot Dog Water CEO Douglas Bevans told Global News the product was dreamed up as a response to the "snake oil salesmen" of health marketing. In small print at the bottom of the sales sheet is this disclaimer: "Hot Dog Water in its absurdity hopes to encourage critical thinking related to product marketing and the significant role it can play in our purchasing choices." Touche. [Global News, 6/17/2018]

In the northeastern town of Teesside, England, last August, 22-year-old Jordan Easton of Thornaby was at the home of a friend, hanging out in the kitchen, when he boasted that his vest was "stab-proof." To prove it, he "took hold a knife to demonstrate," Karin Welsh, Teesside assistant coroner, testified, "and sadly realized it wasn't the case." Teesside Live reported Easton was rushed to the hospital, but doctors weren't able to save him. Detective Superintendent Ted Butcher also testified at Easton's inquest on June 16 that he found no evidence Easton intended to harm himself and died after "a boisterous act." Welsh recorded a verdict of "misadventure." [Teesside Live, 6/16/2018]

News You Can Use

Louis Cote of Mascouche, Quebec, Canada, became suspicious last August of the DNA test results obtained from the samples he collected in his work for the Confederation of Aboriginal People of Canada, whose members use DNA testing to determine their native ancestry. So, CBC News reported on June 13, Cote launched his own experiment. He collected two samples using his own inner-cheek swabs, and a third from his girlfriend's Chihuahua, Snoopy, and sent them off to Viaguard Accu-Metrics. The results indicated that all three samples had identical DNA, including 12 percent Abenaki and 8 percent Mohawk ancestry. "I thought it was a joke," Cote said. "The company is fooling people ... the tests are no good." [CBC News, 6/13/2018]

Public Servants

In Putnam County, Florida, the sheriff's office provides a wide variety of services. So when Douglas Peter Kelly, 49, called the office on June 12 to complain that the methamphetamine he had been sold was fake, officers happily offered to test it for him. Kelly told detectives he had suffered a "violent reaction" after smoking the substance and wanted to sue the dealer if he had been sold the wrong drug. He arrived at the sheriff's office and "handed detectives a clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil," the office's Facebook post explained, according to The Washington Post. It "field-tested positive for methamphetamine." On the spot, Kelly was arrested and charged with possession of meth. The Facebook post continued: "Remember, our detectives are always ready to assist anyone who believes they were misled in their illegal drug purchase." [Washington Post, 6/14/2018]

What Is Art?

-- As part of the Dark Mofo art festival, Australian performance artist Mike Parr, 73, entered a steel tomb below busy Macquarie Street in Hobart on June 14, where he meditated, drew and read as traffic flowed overhead for 72 hours until his release on June 17. Parr had water but no food, and oxygen was pumped into the box. His performance was promoted as a "response to 20th-century totalitarian violence," according to The Guardian, but the piece didn't speak to everyone. "I don't take anything away from it at all," said Carolyn Bowerman from Townsville. "I'm just amazed that someone would put themselves through this and go to this much effort." In a previous performance art piece, Parr hacked at a prosthetic arm with an ax before a shocked audience. [The Guardian, 6/17/2018]

-- Over in Melbourne, Australia, customers of the Prahran neighborhood Woolworths store will have to park somewhere else on July 9, as renowned American photographer Spencer Tunick captures thousands of willing nudes in a group shot on the store's rooftop parking lot. Reuters reported more than 11,000 people registered to disrobe for Tunick, who has done group nudes in other spots around the world. "It's well and truly oversubscribed," said John Lotton, director of the Provocare Festival of the Arts in Melbourne. [Reuters, 6/16/2018]

Smooth Reactions

When Daryl Royal Riedel, 48, was pulled over for suspected drunk driving June 14 by Monroe County (Florida) Sheriff's Deputy Anthony Lopez, he first drove off, but thought better of it and stopped to face the music. Riedel, who claimed to be scared, then stepped out of his truck with an open can of beer and chugged the contents as Lopez watched. The Associated Press reported that Riedel has four prior DUI arrests and now faces felony DUI, fleeing from a deputy, driving with a suspended license and failure to submit to a breath test. [Associated Press, 6/15/2018]

Czech This Out

Czechoslovakian president Milos Zeman called a press conference on June 14 in Prague, where Zeman instructed two firefighters in protective gear to incinerate a huge pair of red underpants as reporters watched. The underwear had been hoisted during a 2015 protest at Prague Castle, replacing the presidential flag and symbolizing Zeman's close relationship with Russia and China. Zeman told reporters, according to the Associated Press: "I'm sorry to make you look like little idiots, you really don't deserve it." Zeman's longstanding difficulties with the press include an incident last year when he waved a fake machine gun at them. [Associated Press via New York Times, 6/15/2018]

O.M.G.

Wa Tiba, 54, disappeared on June 14 while tending her vegetable garden on Muna Island in the Southeast Sulawesi province of Indonesia. Her family found only her sandals, a machete and a flashlight in the garden, but just 50 yards away, villagers located a 23-foot-long python with a severely bloated midsection. Fox News reported that when the snake's belly was cut open, it revealed the woman's fully intact body inside, still wearing all her clothes. Villager Ayu Kartika said, "Everyone cried and was in shock. ... It looked like a horror movie." [Fox News, 6/16/2018]

Fetishes

In Auckland, New Zealand, an unnamed 28-year-old man appeared in court June 18 to answer charges of stealing two human toes from the Body Worlds Vital exhibition, a traveling display that features human corpses and organs preserved through plastination. The toes, valued at $5,500 each, have been returned to the exhibition, the New Zealand Herald reported. The toe thief is looking at seven years in prison and two years for interfering with a dead body. [New Zealand Herald, 6/18/2018]

High Times

-- Two unnamed employees of the Inn at Shelburne Farms in Shelburne, Vermont, enjoyed some malted milk ball-type candies left behind by guests on June 13, but they didn't enjoy the aftermath. The candies were cannabis edibles, and the employees became sick after consuming them. Police arrived to find one of them lying in the parking lot, and both were transferred to the hospital, according to the Associated Press. Recreational use of marijuana becomes legal in Vermont on July 1; police said the guests who left the edibles would not be charged. [Associated Press, 6/14/2018]

-- In California, some bed-and-breakfast establishments are employing a new marketing twist: "bud and breakfast." For example, CBS News reports, Erin Dean's Airbnb north of Sacramento is right next door to a cannabis farm. Her welcome gift for guests includes up to 1 ounce of the herb from the neighboring farm (allowable under state law). Other bud-and-breakfasts can be found in Lake Tahoe and Palm Springs. [CBS News, 6/13/2018]

Least Competent Criminal

In Youngstown, Ohio, police responding to a call about multiple gunshots on June 10 spotted Dai'ryon Mitchell, 21, speeding away from the scene in an SUV. He refused to pull over but finally left the vehicle and ran into a home, where he climbed through a window and hung from the ledge. Mitchell tried to climb back in, The Youngstown Vindicator reported, but lost his grip and fell directly into the arms of officers below, who handcuffed him. [The Vindicator, 6/11/2018]

Visitors to Merlion Park in Singapore on June 8 were startled to see Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump enjoying a casual walkabout, hand-in-hand. On closer inspection, however, they would have seen the two men were Howard X, a Kim impersonator, and Dennis Alan, a Trump impersonator, who traveled to Singapore in advance of the June 12 summit meeting between the two real leaders. Janette Warokka of Indonesia was fooled: "It's so shocking for me. I don't know why those two famous guys come here," she told the Associated Press. Airport officials were less amused when Kim's doppelganger, whose real name is Lee Howard Ho Wun, arrived at Changi Airport. Wun said police officers searched his bags and detained him for two hours before releasing him with stern warnings to stay away from the summit. Singapore's Immigration and Checkpoints Authority said Wun was interviewed for about 45 minutes. [AP via ABC News, 6/8/2018]

The Litigious Society

If you've ordered a Quarter Pounder recently and specified "no cheese," you may be interested in a $5 million class-action lawsuit brought against McDonald's on May 8 by Cynthia Kissner of Broward County, Florida, and Leonard Werner of Miami-Dade. According to the Miami Herald, the two are angry that they've been paying for cheese even though they ordered their sandwiches without it. The lawsuit contends "customers ... continue to be overcharged for these products, by being forced to pay for two slices of cheese, which they do not want, order or receive." Also, Kissner and Werner "have suffered injury as a result of their purchases because they were overcharged" and "McDonald's is being unjustly enriched by these practices." While attorney Andrew Lavin admits the mobile app ordering option does offer a Quarter Pounder without cheese, he notes in-store customers have no such choice. [Miami Herald, 5/24/2018]

Irony

Charlotte Fox, 61, an accomplished mountain climber who summited Mount Everest in 1996, met an unlikely death May 24 when she fell down the hardwood stairs at her home in Telluride, Colorado. Fox was part of the infamous 1996 Mount Everest expedition chronicled in "Into Thin Air" by Jon Krakauer, when eight climbers died. Friends called her fall "shocking," according to The Aspen Times. Climbing partner Andrea Cutter said of the news, "It made me think, 'Jeez, it's just so wrong.'" San Miguel County Coroner Emil Sante said officials "have no reason to believe that it was suspicious at all." [Aspen Times, 5/29/2018]

Armed and Clumsy

Things got wild on June 2 at Mile High Spirits and Distillery in Denver when an unnamed off-duty FBI agent accidentally shot patron Tom Reddington, 24, in the lower leg. According to the Denver Post, the agent was dancing and did a backflip, which caused his firearm to come out of its holster and fall to the floor. When he bent to pick up the gun, it discharged. "I heard a loud bang," Reddington said, "and I thought some idiot set off a firecracker. All of a sudden, from the knee down became completely red, and that's when it clicked in my head, 'Oh, I've been shot.'" A man at the bar applied a tourniquet to Reddington's leg. The FBI agent was taken to Denver police headquarters and released to an FBI supervisor. Mile High Spirits has promised "complimentary drinks forever" to Reddington. [Denver Post, 6/7/2018]

Sweet Revenge

In a bid to unseat his boss, Bon Homme County, South Dakota, Deputy Sheriff Mark Maggs thrashed Sheriff Lenny Gramkow in the June 5 Republican primary by a vote of 878 to 331. So Sheriff Gramkow didn't waste any time: Less than a minute after the polls closed, he fired Maggs, the Sioux Falls Argus Leader reported. "As of this moment you are no longer an employee of Bon Homme County," Maggs' termination notice read. Maggs, a 31-year-old father of four, will not become sheriff until January, but he is confident the county commission "will stand with my family ... and insure that my family will not be left hanging without an income or insurance," Maggs said. "We're going to be fine." [Argus Leader, 6/8/2018]

Just Say No

On June 2, as two Jackson County, Oregon, sheriff's deputies waited for a tow truck to remove a 2003 Toyota Camry from the side of a road, 23-year-old Anthony J. Clark, of Grants Pass, walked up to the car and told the deputies he was going to steal it. He then got into the car and drove off, leading officers on a 40-mile chase through Ashland, Talent and Phoenix, Oregon, crashing into fences and driving the wrong way on several roads. When officers finally stopped the car, The Oregonian reported, Clark ran into a mobile home park, where he was arrested trying to steal another car. The deputies reported Clark admitted taking LSD and said he thought he was inside a real-life version of the "Grand Theft Auto" video game. Among other charges, Clark was accused of driving under the influence of intoxicants and second-degree criminal mischief. [The Oregonian, 6/4/2018]

You Think Your Job Is Bad?

Car salesman Brett Bland in League City, Texas, finally had enough and filed a lawsuit in May against his employer, AutoNation Acura Gulf Freeway, and Jeremy Pratt, a co-worker. Pratt, the suit alleges, engaged in "constant taunting ... making extremely crass, vulgar and rude comments" and "reinforced dominance over his subordinates by regularly entering their enclosed offices, intentionally passing gas and then laughing," as well as "pinching and touching his male subordinates' nipples." KPRC-TV reported Pratt was fired after sending a text to everyone at the dealership alleging Bland was a sex offender (which he is not). After the firing, however, Bland's lawsuit alleges, AutoNation allowed Pratt to "loiter at the dealership" and continue harassing employees, and Bland was threatened with termination if he didn't sell eight vehicles a month. Bland seeks damages and court costs. [KPRC, 5/30/2018]

Ewwwwwww!

-- In Beihai, South China, an unnamed 51-year-old man had been experiencing nonstop nosebleeds for 10 days when his wife told him she saw something "peek" out of his nose. In June, Metro News reported, the man went to Beihai People's Hospital, where Dr. Liu Xiongguang removed a slithery, several-inches-long leech from his nostril as a nurse filmed the procedure. The doctor said the leech might have entered the patient's nose as he swam in a river. [Metro News, 6/8/2018]

-- In a gross twist on road rage, Henry George Weaver, 69, of New Tripoli, Pennsylvania, ended an argument with another man June 8 by defecating on him. According to Lehigh Valley Live, Pennsylvania state police reported that "the accused and the victim got into a road-rage argument, leading the accused to defecate on the victim," but they did not disclose what started the argument. Weaver was charged with harassment. [Lehigh Valley Live, 6/10/2018]