Visitors to Merlion Park in Singapore on June 8 were startled to see Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump enjoying a casual walkabout, hand-in-hand. On closer inspection, however, they would have seen the two men were Howard X, a Kim impersonator, and Dennis Alan, a Trump impersonator, who traveled to Singapore in advance of the June 12 summit meeting between the two real leaders. Janette Warokka of Indonesia was fooled: "It's so shocking for me. I don't know why those two famous guys come here," she told the Associated Press. Airport officials were less amused when Kim's doppelganger, whose real name is Lee Howard Ho Wun, arrived at Changi Airport. Wun said police officers searched his bags and detained him for two hours before releasing him with stern warnings to stay away from the summit. Singapore's Immigration and Checkpoints Authority said Wun was interviewed for about 45 minutes. [AP via ABC News, 6/8/2018]

The Litigious Society

If you've ordered a Quarter Pounder recently and specified "no cheese," you may be interested in a $5 million class-action lawsuit brought against McDonald's on May 8 by Cynthia Kissner of Broward County, Florida, and Leonard Werner of Miami-Dade. According to the Miami Herald, the two are angry that they've been paying for cheese even though they ordered their sandwiches without it. The lawsuit contends "customers ... continue to be overcharged for these products, by being forced to pay for two slices of cheese, which they do not want, order or receive." Also, Kissner and Werner "have suffered injury as a result of their purchases because they were overcharged" and "McDonald's is being unjustly enriched by these practices." While attorney Andrew Lavin admits the mobile app ordering option does offer a Quarter Pounder without cheese, he notes in-store customers have no such choice. [Miami Herald, 5/24/2018]

Irony

Charlotte Fox, 61, an accomplished mountain climber who summited Mount Everest in 1996, met an unlikely death May 24 when she fell down the hardwood stairs at her home in Telluride, Colorado. Fox was part of the infamous 1996 Mount Everest expedition chronicled in "Into Thin Air" by Jon Krakauer, when eight climbers died. Friends called her fall "shocking," according to The Aspen Times. Climbing partner Andrea Cutter said of the news, "It made me think, 'Jeez, it's just so wrong.'" San Miguel County Coroner Emil Sante said officials "have no reason to believe that it was suspicious at all." [Aspen Times, 5/29/2018]

Armed and Clumsy

Things got wild on June 2 at Mile High Spirits and Distillery in Denver when an unnamed off-duty FBI agent accidentally shot patron Tom Reddington, 24, in the lower leg. According to the Denver Post, the agent was dancing and did a backflip, which caused his firearm to come out of its holster and fall to the floor. When he bent to pick up the gun, it discharged. "I heard a loud bang," Reddington said, "and I thought some idiot set off a firecracker. All of a sudden, from the knee down became completely red, and that's when it clicked in my head, 'Oh, I've been shot.'" A man at the bar applied a tourniquet to Reddington's leg. The FBI agent was taken to Denver police headquarters and released to an FBI supervisor. Mile High Spirits has promised "complimentary drinks forever" to Reddington. [Denver Post, 6/7/2018]

Sweet Revenge

In a bid to unseat his boss, Bon Homme County, South Dakota, Deputy Sheriff Mark Maggs thrashed Sheriff Lenny Gramkow in the June 5 Republican primary by a vote of 878 to 331. So Sheriff Gramkow didn't waste any time: Less than a minute after the polls closed, he fired Maggs, the Sioux Falls Argus Leader reported. "As of this moment you are no longer an employee of Bon Homme County," Maggs' termination notice read. Maggs, a 31-year-old father of four, will not become sheriff until January, but he is confident the county commission "will stand with my family ... and insure that my family will not be left hanging without an income or insurance," Maggs said. "We're going to be fine." [Argus Leader, 6/8/2018]

Just Say No

On June 2, as two Jackson County, Oregon, sheriff's deputies waited for a tow truck to remove a 2003 Toyota Camry from the side of a road, 23-year-old Anthony J. Clark, of Grants Pass, walked up to the car and told the deputies he was going to steal it. He then got into the car and drove off, leading officers on a 40-mile chase through Ashland, Talent and Phoenix, Oregon, crashing into fences and driving the wrong way on several roads. When officers finally stopped the car, The Oregonian reported, Clark ran into a mobile home park, where he was arrested trying to steal another car. The deputies reported Clark admitted taking LSD and said he thought he was inside a real-life version of the "Grand Theft Auto" video game. Among other charges, Clark was accused of driving under the influence of intoxicants and second-degree criminal mischief. [The Oregonian, 6/4/2018]

You Think Your Job Is Bad?

Car salesman Brett Bland in League City, Texas, finally had enough and filed a lawsuit in May against his employer, AutoNation Acura Gulf Freeway, and Jeremy Pratt, a co-worker. Pratt, the suit alleges, engaged in "constant taunting ... making extremely crass, vulgar and rude comments" and "reinforced dominance over his subordinates by regularly entering their enclosed offices, intentionally passing gas and then laughing," as well as "pinching and touching his male subordinates' nipples." KPRC-TV reported Pratt was fired after sending a text to everyone at the dealership alleging Bland was a sex offender (which he is not). After the firing, however, Bland's lawsuit alleges, AutoNation allowed Pratt to "loiter at the dealership" and continue harassing employees, and Bland was threatened with termination if he didn't sell eight vehicles a month. Bland seeks damages and court costs. [KPRC, 5/30/2018]

Ewwwwwww!

-- In Beihai, South China, an unnamed 51-year-old man had been experiencing nonstop nosebleeds for 10 days when his wife told him she saw something "peek" out of his nose. In June, Metro News reported, the man went to Beihai People's Hospital, where Dr. Liu Xiongguang removed a slithery, several-inches-long leech from his nostril as a nurse filmed the procedure. The doctor said the leech might have entered the patient's nose as he swam in a river. [Metro News, 6/8/2018]

-- In a gross twist on road rage, Henry George Weaver, 69, of New Tripoli, Pennsylvania, ended an argument with another man June 8 by defecating on him. According to Lehigh Valley Live, Pennsylvania state police reported that "the accused and the victim got into a road-rage argument, leading the accused to defecate on the victim," but they did not disclose what started the argument. Weaver was charged with harassment. [Lehigh Valley Live, 6/10/2018]

Ninety-six-year-old Barney Smith of Alamo Heights, Texas, is known around those parts as the King of the Commode for his life's work: more than 1,300 decorated toilet seats, all displayed in the retired master plumber's Toilet Seat Art Museum. But now, he concedes, it's time to put a lid on it: "I'm beginning to feel like I'd rather be in an air-conditioned home in a chair, looking at a good program," Smith, who is bent with arthritis and uses a cane, told the Associated Press on May 22. Inside the metal-garage museum the collection includes toilet lids decorated with a chunk of the Berlin Wall, a piece of insulation from the Space Shuttle Challenger, Pez dispensers and flint arrowheads, along with the toilet lid from the airplane that carried Aristotle Onassis' body back to Greece after his death. Smith told his wife, Louise, that he would stop at 500 pieces, but that was 850 lids ago. "If I would have just read my Bible as many hours as I spent on my toilet seats, I'd be a better man," Smith said. Louise died in 2014, and Smith took a fall recently and broke some ribs. Now he's looking for someone who will keep the museum intact: "This is my life's history here." [The Associated Press, 5/22/2018]

Precocious

On May 20, as a handful of adults enjoyed the swings at Angel Park in southwest Atlanta, two children walked up and asked to use the swing set. The adults agreed and started to walk away, reported The (Macon, Georgia) Telegraph, when the boys, about 6 and 12 years old, pulled out rocks the size of baseballs and what appeared to be a black handgun. They threw the rocks, hitting one man on the calf and causing an abrasion, according to Atlanta police. The older boy held the gun and pointed it at the adults, who ran away as the boys ran in the opposite direction. Earlier in May, two children were reported for an alleged armed carjacking in the same neighborhood. [The Telegraph, 5/21/2018]

Compelling Explanation

Claiming the shooting was an accident, Angelo Russo, 55, told police in Tatura, Victoria, Australia, he tripped over an eggplant during a dispute with a man who had run over his dog, which caused the gun Russo was carrying to go off, striking David Calandro in the head and killing him. Calandro and a friend had gone to Russo's farm on Feb. 18, 2017, to buy some chilies, 9News reported, but as he drove away, Russo's dog, Harry, began barking and chasing the vehicle. Calandro swerved toward the dog to "spook him," the friend told a Victorian Supreme Court jury on May 23, but swerved too far, running over the dog instead. Russo pleaded guilty to manslaughter on May 25. [9News, 5/23/2018]

Oops!

Pesky weeds around his garage caused a Springfield Township, Ohio, resident to resort to extreme measures: The unnamed homeowner tried to eliminate them with a torch, and instead set the garage on fire. Firefighters were called to the scene at 4 a.m. on May 24, where they found the detached garage "fully involved," according to the Springfield News-Sun. The structure was a total loss, including tools and appliances inside, valued at $10,000 to $15,000. [Springfield News-Sun, 5/24/2018]

Crime Report

-- Three men were arrested on May 20 after stealing a 25-foot-long shed from a foreclosed property in Lebanon, Maine, and dragging it down the street behind their pickup truck, according to the Portland Press Herald. Matthew Thompson of Lebanon, Timothy James of Pembroke, New Hampshire, and Robert Breton of Milton, New Hampshire, were spotted in the act by a concerned citizen, who alerted Maine State Police. In addition, Thompson was found to have crystal meth and prescription pills that were not prescribed to him. All three were taken to the York County Jail and held on $5,000 bail. [Portland Press Herald, 5/22/2018]

-- Patrick Gillis, 18, a senior at Highlands High School and a volunteer firefighter for the Pioneer Hose Fire Department in Brackenridge, Pennsylvania, told police he "just wanted to respond to a fire" on May 21, when he was arrested for starting a blaze in a vacant duplex where he used to live. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that witnesses told investigators Gillis was seen at the home before the fire started, then returned as a firefighter to help put it out. He admitted to setting a piece of paper on fire and putting it in the microwave, then leaving. The Allegheny County Fire Marshal's Office estimated damage at $150,000, and Gillis was charged with arson. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 5/22/2018]

Bright Ideas

-- Toronto police constables Vittorio Dominelli, 36, and Jamie Young, 35, had to call for backup in January during a raid on a marijuana dispensary after allegedly sampling some of the evidence. CTV News reported the officers called for help after they began hallucinating, one eventually climbing a tree. In a May 23 press release, Toronto police announced the two officers had been suspended and now face criminal charges in the incident.

[CTV News, 5/23/2018]

-- A senior prank went unexpectedly wrong for high school student Kylan Scheele, 18, of Independence, Missouri, when he was slapped with a three-day suspension on May 23 and barred from participating in graduation after putting his high school up for sale on Craigslist. Scheele said it was meant to be a joke. "Other people were going to release live mice ... I thought, let's do something more laid back," he told Fox 4. The ad for Truman High School listed attractive amenities such as newly built athletic fields, lots of parking and a "bigger than normal dining room." A lawsuit filed against the school district by the ACLU of Missouri failed to reduce the punishment. [Fox 4, 5/23/2018]

Still Creepy

Before Chuck E. Cheese was a thing, it was ShowBiz Pizza, complete with the Rock-afire Explosion Band, an animatronic combo that is still the stuff of nightmares. On May 24, the Rock-afire Explosion Band was reunited at a new arcade bar in Kansas City, Missouri, also called Rock-afire. The band's inventor, Aaron Fechter of Creative Engineering in Orlando, Florida, refurbished the band members with new masks, skin and costumes, and the playlist is set to include old standards as well as more contemporary hits. Bar owner James Bond was a huge fan of the band as a child: "You didn't know whether they were fake or real," he told The Kansas City Star. [Kansas City Star, 5/23/2018]

Least Competent Criminal

Rowdy Lapham, owner of Old to Gold Hardwood Floors in Grand Rapids, Michigan, arrived at work May 21 to find that someone had broken in. Surveillance footage showed that around 2 a.m. the day before, a burglar had thrown a rock through his store window, apparently tempted by the "gold" bars stacked in the window. Unfortunately for the thief, the bars are promotional items made of foam rubber and stamped with the store's logo, reported WZZM TV. The squeezable bars are meant for stress relief, employee Nick Butler said, supporting the company's motto of "stress-free flooring. ... I think this falls under you can't fix stupid." [WZZM, 5/23/2018]

In Charleston, South Carolina, Cara Koscinski and her whole family were looking forward to her son Jacob's May 19 graduation party. The Post and Courier reported he had excelled in his Christian-based homeschool program, earning a 4.79 GPA and the summa cum laude distinction, an honor Koscinski included in the wording on the cake she ordered online from her local Publix store. When the software informed her "profane/special characters (are) not allowed," Koscinski made clear that phrase was Latin, meaning "with the highest distinction," and even included a link to a website explaining it. Still, when the cake arrived, it read: "Congratulations Jacob! Summa --- laude Class of 2018." Jacob was embarrassed, and Koscinski had to tell her 70-year-old mother why the store had censored the word. Publix offered to remake the cake, but as Koscinski noted, "You only graduate once." [Post and Courier, 5/22/2018]

Ironies

Police officers in North Ridgeville, Ohio, were sure the man who called them at 5:26 a.m. on May 19 to report being followed by a pig was impaired and hallucinating. But sure enough, the Associated Press reported, officers on the scene found a completely sober man, walking home from the Elyria Amtrak station with a pig trailing behind him. The department's Facebook page reported that Patrolman Kuduzovic wrangled the oinker into the back seat of his cruiser and later secured it in the station's dog kennels, where the owner later retrieved it. "Also," the post noted, "we will mention the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard." Touche. [Associated Press, 5/21/2018]

Oops!

-- Lyons, New York, resident Jesse Graham, 53, must have been surprised when deputies of the Wayne County Sheriff's Department appeared at his door on May 11. WHEC TV reported that Graham, a fugitive wanted by the Mooresville (North Carolina) Police Department, had apparently accidentally dialed 911, summoning the deputies himself. Graham was charged with being a fugitive from justice and possession of marijuana, and he awaits extradition to North Carolina. [WHEC, 5/12/2018]

-- In Lawrence, Kansas, architecture students designed a new bike rack for the Prairie Acre Ribbon Classroom, the first outdoor classroom at the University of Kansas. The metal rack features the letters P-A-R-C, but viewed from another vantage point, they spell C-R-A-P. Social media lit up after a photo was posted May 13, including, "It'll make a fine bike rack. Crap a diem!" Project PARC KU responded: "The photograph shown is not the intended vantage point, nor is it the message of our project," but at press time, the university had not announced any action, according to the Wichita Eagle-Beacon. [Wichita Eagle-Beacon, 5/21/2018]

Anger Management

-- Frustration with the cable company boiled over in Ridgewood, New Jersey, on May 7, when a dispute between an Optimum employee and a woman left the cable worker stranded on high. While the employee was in an elevated bucket working on lines, northjersey.com reported, a 59-year-old woman turned off the truck and "took utility property" before walking away, making it impossible for the worker to lower the bucket. Ridgeview police charged the woman with harassment, false imprisonment, disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing. [northjersey.com, 5/10/2018]

-- Dymund Ellis, 19, was charged with stabbing and killing her roommate, Jace Trevon Ernst, 25, in North Las Vegas, Nevada, after a May 4 argument. According to North Las Vegas Police, Ellis became upset after Ernst repeatedly talked while she tried to watch a TV show, telling him to "shut up." When he responded with an expletive, she went to the kitchen for a knife, reported Fox News. Police said Ellis had threatened Ernst with a knife about 10 times in the last couple of months, but he had been able to get the knife away from her. Ellis told an officer that "she has anger problems and she just got extremely upset tonight." [Fox News, 5/15/2018]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Comrades in arms Mike Mulligan, Michael Martin and Emma St. Claire made the mistake of leaving their burglary booty visible in their car in Nevada City, California. So on May 16, when they were stopped by a Grass Valley Police officer, the prosthetic arm officers spotted pointed the finger at them as the perpetrators of a Nevada County home burglary the previous week. On its Facebook page, the Nevada County Sheriff's office described the limb as "the exact arm that was stolen in the burglary." All three were booked into the Wayne Brown Correctional Facility in Nevada City, Fox News reported, and the arm has been returned to a "very appreciative owner." [Fox News, [5/21/2018]

-- Deputy Henry Guzman with the Broward County Sheriff's Office in Florida made his first mistake when he shoplifted -- three days in a row -- from a Lauderdale Lakes Walmart. His second, and perhaps more devastating, mistake was wearing his uniform while doing so. Guzman, a 13-year veteran of the department, stole DVDs and "Star Wars" action figures valued at about $200, WSVN reported. He was arrested on May 21 and charged with three misdemeanor counts of petty theft. [WSVN, 5/21/2018]

What a Crock!

As it negotiated a roundabout in Paisley, Renfrewshire, Scotland, a dump truck filled with manure lost its balance on May 21 and tipped over, spilling its load onto a Peugot 208 with the driver inside. A witness said he "couldn't believe anyone got out alive," but the male driver was able to crawl through the pile of excrement and was unhurt, if stinky, Metro News reported. The car, however, "was crushed," according to a Police Scotland spokesman. [Metro News, 5/22/2018]

Government in Action

Lake Worth, Florida, residents where startled to receive a power outage alert on May 20 that also warned of a "zombie alert for residents of Lake Worth and Terminus," a possible reference to a city in the TV show "The Walking Dead," reported by the Palm Beach Post. "There are now far less than 7,380 customers involved due to extreme zombie activity," the message continued. "We are looking into reports that the system mentioned zombies," city communications specialist Ben Kerr said. "I want to reiterate that Lake Worth does not have any zombie activity currently and apologize for the system message." [Palm Beach Post, 5/22/2018]

The Naked Truth

In Huntsville, Arkansas, police responded to a call at 4 a.m. on May 21 from a homeowner who said a tattooed man was ringing his doorbell. The man left, but police identified him from the security video as Robert Conn, 31, and soon caught up with him after a motorist on nearby Huntsville Bridge reported seeing a naked man lying facedown in the road. When police arrived, they told KFSM TV, Conn was talking to himself and acting as if being naked in public was normal. He was charged with disorderly conduct. [KFSM, 5/21/2018]