On May 1, as airmen of the 91st Missile Wing Security Forces traversed the gravel back roads of North Dakota between two of the nuclear missile launch sites they are charged with protecting, the back hatch of their truck fell open, allowing a 42-pound metal box of explosive grenade rounds to fall out. Despite deploying more than 100 airmen to walk the entire 6-mile route the team had driven, The Washington Post reported on May 15, the ammunition still hadn't been found. The Air Force's Office of Special Investigations has offered a $5,000 reward for information leading to the recovery of the box and has alerted local farmers and oil field vendors in the area that the box could be dangerous if damaged. [The Washington Post, 5/15/2018]

Animal Antics

-- In Lodi, California, a small black cat took up residence on May 11 on a high ledge near the large outdoor sign of a Chili's restaurant and thwarted attempts by management, who self-identified as "cat people," to be rescued. As customers took pictures, Restaurant Cat, as it came to be known, stared down calmly, KTXL TV reported. But when Chili's employees used a ladder to try to reach it, the cat climbed behind the neon chili pepper and wouldn't come out, so they left food and water. Presumably it's keeping the pigeons away. [Fox40 TV, 5/13/2018]

-- Meanwhile, in Perth, Australia, another restaurant has taken a novel approach to a different animal problem: Customers at Hillary's 3Sheets are being offered water guns to shoot at seagulls, which have been ruining diners' waterfront meals. "It was bad," owner Toby Evans told Nine Network television on May 16, admitting the idea was "a desperate measure. Before, they'd wait until customers had finished and got up, but now they're getting cheekier and cheekier." Customers are on board, saying the pistols are working. (Maybe they need a Restaurant Cat of their own.) [Nine Network, 5/16/2018]

But, Why?

-- Making good on his promise, Welshman Mark Williams, 43, celebrated his third world snooker championship by conducting the post-match news conference at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, England, in the buff. Williams, who beat John Higgins of Scotland on May 7, is the event's oldest winner in 40 years, Reuters noted. "I'm not going to say anything stupid ... but to be honest if I won this next year, I'd cartwheel down here naked," Williams promised. [Reuters, 5/8/2018]

-- The Daytona Beach International Airport was briefly evacuated early on May 11 when John Greenwood, 25, caused a ruckus as he rode around the baggage carousel in the nude, trying to get out onto the tarmac, reported News4Jax. Sheriff's deputies shocked him with a Taser, to which he responded: "We gotta get outta here, there's a bomb going to go off. I planted a bomb in the bathroom." After sweeping the airport, officials found no explosives, but Volusia County Sheriff Mike Chitwood said they did find Greenwood's clothes in a backpack hidden in a hole in the bathroom wall. Described by Chitwood as a frequent flyer, Greenwood is known to local law enforcement, and he admitted taking drugs on Thursday night. He faces several charges after the incident. [News4Jax, 5/11/2018]

Easy Way Out

Like any resourceful mom, Johanna Giselhall Sandstrom of Kyrkhult, Sweden, made lemonade out of lemons after she discovered a spelling error in her newly acquired tattoo. Sandstrom had asked the tattoo artist to entwine the names of her two children, Nova and Kevin, on her arm, and it wasn't until she arrived home that she realized the tattoo read "Kelvin" instead of "Kevin." "My heart stopped and I thought I was going to faint," Sandstrom told local newspaper Blekinge Lans Tidning. Removing the tattoo would require multiple treatments, she learned, so Sandstrom decided instead to change her 2-year-old son's name to Kelvin, The Independent reported on May 16. "When I thought more about it, I realized that no one else has this name," she said. "It became unique. Now we think it is better than Kevin." [The Independent, 5/16/2018]

Weird Science

For two years, Kendra Jackson of Omaha, Nebraska, "had a box of Puffs ... everywhere I went," due to constant sneezing, coughing and nose-blowing that started after she hit her face on the dashboard during a car accident in 2013, she told KETV. Multiple doctors told her allergies were the cause, but eventually she was diagnosed with cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) leak -- her brain fluid was leaking into her nasal cavity at the rate of about a half-pint a day. In early May, Nebraska Medicine rhinologist Dr. Christie Barnes plugged the small hole between Jackson's skull and nostrils with her own fatty tissue, giving Jackson the relief she had been seeking for years. [KETV, 5/10/2018]

Awwwwww ....

Six baby squirrels in Elkhorn, Nebraska, found themselves in a sticky situation when their tails became tangled in tree sap and knotted together in their nest. When a man noticed what looked like a six-headed squirrely cluster moving around in a tree, wildlife expert Laura Stastny, executive director of Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, got the call. Stastny told the Omaha World-Herald that her group sees a case like this every year or so. She covered the squirrels with a towel to calm them and then snipped the fur that held them together. [Omaha World-Herald, 5/17/2018]

Let Me Get My Checkbook

The owner of a 15,000-square-foot condo on the 45th floor of the swanky Atelier building in Manhattan is offering the 10-bedroom, 11-bathroom property for sale -- for $85 million, according to WNBC. It features the expected appointments -- marble bathrooms, granite kitchen with stainless steel appliances -- but the steep price tag also includes some extras, such as two Rolls-Royce Phantoms, a Lamborghini, courtside season tickets to the Brooklyn Nets, a summer mansion in the Hamptons, a million-dollar yacht, live-in butler service and ... oh yeah, two tickets for a trip to outer space. [WNBC, 5/17/2018]

Bright Ideas

-- A 47-year-old woman from Adrian, Michigan, lost her job after she brought laxative-laced brownies to a co-worker's going-away party on May 3. Another employee of MMI Engineered Solutions in Saline tipped off company officials, who called police. The baker initially denied putting anything in the brownies, but came clean after being told the brownies could be forensically tested. Saline Police Chief Jerrod Hart told the Ann Arbor News there had been tension between the baker and the guest of honor, but the nature of the spat was not clear. "A lot of times you see it in movies or TV shows where someone tries to do this or play a joke, but it's very serious," Hart said. "It's a criminal act." The woman, however, was not charged, since no one ate the treats. [Ann Arbor News, 5/15/2018]

-- Sidney Bouvier Gilstrap-Portley, 25, was arrested on May 11 in Dallas after scamming his way into two Dallas high schools in an apparent effort to relive his basketball career. Gilstrap-Portley was charged with posing as a 17-year-old student and Hurricane Harvey evacuee so that he could play high school basketball. As Dallas schools welcomed students displaced by the hurricane, Gilstrap-Portley first enrolled at Skyline High School and then at Hillcrest High School, where he was a star on the team (and dated a 14-year-old girl). In fact, high school coaches voted him offensive player of the year. The Dallas Morning News reported that a former coach spotted him at a tournament and alerted Hillcrest's coach that he had graduated "a time ago." [Dallas Morning News, 5/16/2018]

Awesome!

Matthew and Maria Colonna-Emanuel of Staten Island knew about the silver box partially buried near some trees in their yard for years; they thought it was a cable box. But when they decided to replace the trees, they discovered the box was a safe -- and it was full of treasure. In early May, the Emanuels found thousands of dollars, along with "jewelry, diamonds, engagement rings ..." said Matthew Emanuel. "It was stunning." They also found an address, which linked them to nearby neighbors. The New York Police Department told CBS New York that indeed, the Emanuels' neighbors were robbed in 2011 of a safe with items totaling about $52,000. The couple returned the safe and its contents to the crime victims, who were thrilled. "It wasn't even a question," said Maria Colonna-Emanuel. "It wasn't ours." [CBS New York, 5/14/2018]

Letitia Chai, Cornell University class of 2018, arrived at her "Acting in Public: Performance in Everyday Life" class on May 2 ready to present a trial run of her senior thesis wearing a button-down shirt and cutoff denim shorts. Professor Rebekah Maggor was displeased, however, and asked Chai, "Is that really what you would wear?" She referred specifically to Chai's "too short" shorts and told Chai that her clothing choices would distract "men's attention" from the content of her presentation. Chai left the room, but soon returned wearing just her bra and panties and delivered the entirety of her presentation. On May 5, she returned to the classroom to officially present her thesis and stripped down again, with more than two dozen others in the room joining her in bras and panties or boxers. Chai posted on Facebook about the incidents, telling The Cornell Daily Sun she wanted to raise awareness about this "huge societal issue." [The Cornell Daily Sun, 5/6/2018]

Try the Decaf

In Hudson, Florida, Brandon Donald McCray, 47, came unglued on May 1 after discovering two of his socks missing. When suspicion fell on his roommate, Frank Smith, 53, McCray attacked him with a sword, according to WTVT. The attack continued as McCray also struck and injured two women living at the home. Pasco County Sheriff's deputies said Smith nearly lost several fingers trying to defend himself. Deputies arrested McCray at a neighbor's house on charges of attempted homicide and battery. [WTVT, 5/2/2018]

Cliche Comes to Life

Dimitri the Husky can thank a Good Samaritan for reporting that someone was abusing a dog in Lantana, Florida, on May 10. Palm Beach County Sheriff's officers arrived at the apartment home of Patrick Shurod Campbell, 27, where two roommates said Campbell "beat the hell" out of Dimitri, the Palm Beach Post reported. Officers found the 2-year-old dog locked in a dark closet, shaking and submissive, with a bloody ear. Campbell told police he had bitten the dog to "establish dominance." Campbell was charged with aggravated animal cruelty; Dimitri was turned over to Palm Beach County Animal Care and Control for treatment and re-homing. [Palm Beach Post, 5/11/2018]

It's Good to Be a Millennial

As finals were ramping up at the University of Utah at the end of April, one student's class project went viral: Senior Nemo Miller created a stand-alone closet, placed in the J. Willard Marriott Library, where stressed-out students could go for a good cry. KSL TV reported The Cry Closet (#cryclosetuofu) caught on quickly; even with a suggested 10-minute limit, @Gemini tweeted, "I stayed 11 mins but feel so much better thank you to whoever built this. Can we add a box of tissues please?" Miller filled the closet with stuffed animals and soft materials. "I think everyone just needs a safe space sometimes," she said, "even if it's in a very public place." [KSL TV, 4/25/2018]

Make Art Great Again!

A French museum dedicated to the work of painter Etienne Terrus announced April 27 that more than half of its collection from the 19th-century artist are forgeries. The Terrus museum in Elne, where Terrus was born, gathered a group of experts to inspect the works after a visiting art historian noticed some of the paintings depict buildings that were not constructed until after Terrus' death. In all, 82 paintings were determined to be fake. BBC News reported that the town's mayor, Yves Barniol, called the situation "a disaster" and apologized to museum visitors. [BBC News, 4/28/2018]

High on the Hog

On Yaji Mountain in China, hog farmers are experimenting with high-rise hog breeding facilities that house 1,000 head of sows per floor. Xu Jiajing, manager of Guangxi Yangxiang Co. Ltd., told Reuters the "hog hotels" save "energy and resources. The land area is not that much, but you can raise a lot of pigs." The buildings range from seven floors to 13, with elevators to move people and pigs, and air circulation and waste management systems designed to reduce the risk of spreading disease. [Reuters, 5/10/2018]

Armed and Clumsy

Fort Dodge, Iowa, may not exactly be the Wild West, but tell that to Balew, the pit bull-lab mix belonging to 51-year-old Richard Remme. As Remme and Balew roughhoused at home on May 9, Balew bounded back up onto the couch, where, according to The Messenger, he managed to shoot his owner in the leg. "I carry in a belly band, under my bib overalls," Remme told the newspaper. "And apparently he bumped the safety one time, and when he bounded back over one of his toes went right down into the trigger guard," he explained. Remme didn't realize he'd been shot until his pant leg started to turn purple. Balew, however, "thought he was in trouble for doing something wrong," Remme said. He "laid down beside me and cried." [The Messenger, 5/10/2018]

Bright Ideas

-- The grandmother of a 7-year-old girl in Marietta, Georgia, became alarmed May 7 when a stranger started following her and the little girl around a Kroger store. WXIA-TV reported that Einodd Samimi had earlier approached the grandmother at a nearby Walmart and asked if he could "have" her granddaughter for $100. He upped the ante at Kroger, offering to purchase her for $200 and commenting on the little girl's pretty hair. The grandmother confronted Samimi, drawing a large crowd of shoppers who chased him through the store and to his car. Police arrested Samimi at his home on charges of enticing a child and criminal solicitation. [WXIA-TV, 5/9/2018]

-- In the Indian village of Upparahal, a mother dying of an unknown condition feared that her husband, whom neighbors say is an alcoholic, would neglect her 13-year-old son and their other children. To ensure there would be an adult woman in the family capable of performing domestic chores, she married the teenager to a 23-year-old woman on April 27. However, according to the local tahsildar, or tax collector, Srinivasa Rao, "The marriage will be canceled as it is not valid as per law." Metro News reports that both the bride's and groom's families have disappeared since the wedding became public. [Metro News, 5/12/2018]

People With Issues

Police in Loerrach, Germany, responded May 14 to complaints about a domestic disturbance after a neighbor reported a loud confrontation that had been going on for some time. But when they arrived, they found a 22-year-old man arguing with his girlfriend's parrot, according to Metro News. The parrot had been barking like a dog, and the man became annoyed with it. No charges were filed. [Metro News, 5/15/2018]

Love in the Drive-Thru

@BurgerKing was looking for love in all the right places on May 9 when workers changed a Boston location's sign to read: "@Wendys ... Prom?" and posted a picture to Twitter. United Press International reported that it took less than an hour for the red-headed fast-food heartthrob, just a few doors down, to respond: "OK, but don't get handsy and we have to be home by 10." In a classic love triangle, @MoonPie expressed his disappointment: "I knew I should've asked sooner." [United Press International, 5/10/2018]

A janitor at Incheon International Airport in Seoul, South Korea, may have hit the jackpot on April 26 when he discovered $325,000 worth of gold bars in a garbage bin. Investigators told The Korea Times they believe two men were transporting the gold, wrapped in newspapers, from Hong Kong to Japan, and threw away the stash for fear of being searched by customs agents. If the owner doesn't make a claim in six months, the janitor will get the gold, thanks to South Korea's "finders-keepers" law. However, if the treasure is found to be linked to criminal activity, the janitor will not be entitled to any of it. [The Korea Times, 4/30/2018]

High Times

A Florida Highway Patrol trooper arrived at the scene of a crash in Orlando on April 29 to find Scott Ecklund, 32, uninjured but highly agitated. Trooper Glaudson Curado arrested Ecklund after Ecklund helpfully told the trooper he could get more meth than had been found in the search of Ecklund's wrecked Chevy Impala if the trooper would allow him to leave the scene. "Mr. Ecklund was making no sense during our conversation," Curado wrote in his report, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Ecklund, who was arrested earlier in April for crashing a truck into a house and claiming to be an FBI agent as he brandished an assault rifle, was charged with meth possession and driving with a suspended license and taken to the Orange County Jail. [Orlando Sentinel, 4/30/2018]

Indecent Exposure

Neighbors of the "Pooperintendent," a New Jersey school superintendent nabbed for repeatedly defecating on a high school running track, were nonplussed by the news. Thomas Tramaglini, 42, superintendent of schools in nearby Kenilworth, was charged April 30 in Holmdel, New Jersey, Municipal Court for defecating in public, lewdness and littering after being caught on surveillance video relieving himself on a daily basis during his run at the Holmdel High School track. The track is about 3 miles from Tramaglini's home in Aberdeen. But neighbors told NJ.com that Tramaglini always struck them as a nice guy -- "Except for pooping on the field," one added. Another dismissed all the attention: "If he wasn't a super, this wouldn't even be news." [NJ.com, 5/4/2018]

Awesome!

The Palais de Tokyo, a contemporary art museum in Paris, has made a name for itself by granting special visiting hours to nudists. On May 5, Reuters reported, naturists were invited to tour an exhibit, with about 160 attendees taking advantage of the sans-clothing event. Paris is seeing an increase in naturist events, according to Julien Claude-Penegry, communications director of the Paris Naturists Association. "The naturists' way of life is to be naked. Naturists are pushing past barriers, taboos or mentalities that were obstructive," he said. Next up for French nudists: a clubbing night later this year. [Reuters, 5/5/2018]

Questionable Judgment

Angelique Sanchez, 26, of Denver was asked to provide a urine sample for a prospective employer on May 3, so, of course, she stopped off at a 7-Eleven store in Aurora to apply the final touch: She put the urine-filled bottle in a microwave and turned it on, whereupon the sample blew up. A 7-Eleven clerk, who observed a "yellow liquid ... and the smell was unquestionably urine" dripping from the microwave, confronted Sanchez, who wiped the liquid out of the microwave and onto the floor, then walked out. KUSA TV reported that police caught up with her at a nearby clinic and issued a summons for damaged property. Medical expert Comilla Sasson guessed that Sanchez was trying to restore the sample to body temperature. [KUSA, 5/4/2018]

Ooohhhh-kkkaaaayyy

Visitors to New York's Fort Ticonderoga were in for a special treat as locks of hair from Revolutionary War general turned traitor Benedict Arnold and his first wife, Margaret, were put on display during the season's opening weekend of May 5-6. Curator Matthew Keagle told The Associated Press Arnold's hair was recently rediscovered in the museum's collections and had been preserved by the family. The private historical site obtained the hair in the 1950s. Saving a lock of a deceased family member's hair was a common practice during the 1700s. Arnold helped capture Fort Ticonderoga from the British during the opening weeks of the Revolutionary War. [Associated Press, 5/2/2018]

Weird Cliche

Drivers along I-70 outside of Indianapolis thought it was raining money for them May 2 as $600,000 in cash tumbled out the back doors of a Brinks truck and onto the highway, the Indianapolis Star reported. State police spokesman Sgt. John Perrine said an undetermined amount of cash has not been accounted for, as "people were jumping over fences and crawling on the ground" to pick up loose bills flying around. In a tweet, he warned: "Finding a large sum of money is no different than other property. If a brand-new car fell off a semi, would the 1st person to find it get to keep it? It belongs to someone else." [Indianapolis Star, 5/2/2018]

That's One Way to Do It

When Leroy Mason, 68, of Barton, Vermont, takes care of a problem, he doesn't do things halfway. On April 30, as his smoke detector blared yet again, Mason aimed his 20-gauge shotgun at the cursed piece of electronics and fired twice. Unfortunately, the shots also hit the adjoining wall of an occupied apartment. Fire and EMS crews called to the scene had been before, according to a Vermont State Police news release quoted by Boston25 News, as "Mr. Mason has complained in the past about frequent false alarms ... and was upset that fire crews would not relocate the detector. Mr. Mason took it upon himself to relocate the smoke detector ..." When first responders relieved him of his shotgun, Mason rearmed himself with a Colt .45 handgun and demanded his shotgun back. Mason was finally subdued and charged with aggravated assault with a weapon and reckless endangerment. [Boston25 News, 5/3/2018]

Definition of Insanity

April 11 was a great day for Markiko Sonnie Lewis of Maple Heights, Ohio -- he got out of jail! Lewis, 40, served time in state prison for robbing a Cleveland Key Bank branch in November 2015. To celebrate, he returned to the same bank on April 12 and robbed it again, according to WIOI, taking about $1,000. Lewis was indicted on May 1 with one count of bank robbery. [WIOI, 5/2/2018]

Smooth Reactions

Jose Arreola, 49, of Bellflower, California, was more angry than scared when a police officer drew a gun on him March 16, mistakenly thinking Arreola had stolen a roll of Mentos, which retails for $1.19. A security camera at an Orange County service station captured the incident, showing Arreola placing the Mentos on the counter along with a $20 bill. As he waited for his change, Arreola put the mints in his pocket, which is when an off-duty officer behind him pulled a gun out of the pocket of his hoody and ordered him to put the mints back on the counter. When the clerk confirmed Arreola had paid, the officer said, "My apologies." "It was traumatic, the whole incident," Arreola told the Orange County Register. "Are you seriously pulling a gun out over a pack of Mentos?" [Orange County Register, 5/4/2018]

Inexplicable

Toronto police determined pranksters might have been behind their discovery on May 2 of a blue Honda Civic hanging from a rope under the Millwood Overpass Bridge, missing its windows, windshield and engine. Originally officials thought the burned-out car might be part of a movie shoot, but further research didn't turn up any authorized filming in Toronto. "I've never seen anything like that before," a passing cyclist told CTV News. "This is hilarious." However, officers warned that if caught, the culprits could face charges. [CTV News, 5/2/2018]