A co-ed dormitory at Hunter College in New York City has become the site of a dispute between the college and 32-year-old Lisa S. Palmer, who won't vacate her dorm room despite having discontinued her classes in 2016. Palmer, who works for an architecture firm, has "racked up a staggering $94,000 in unpaid residence hall charges," a lawsuit filed in Manhattan Supreme Court noted. The New York Post reported on Feb. 28 that in June 2016 and fall 2017, she received eviction notices, but she won't budge. Palmer admitted that dorm life is "really lonely. I feel very isolated." Palmer was moved into a wing of the dorm that's occupied only by a middle-aged nurse, whom the college is also trying to evict. In fact, Hunter is working on removing nine nurses, who were given rooms in the building when it was owned by Bellevue Hospital. [New York Post, 2/28/2018]

Only in Texas

Ana Lisa Garza, a Starr County district judge in south Texas, is running for a state House seat in District 31. Garza has received almost $90,000 in contributions to her campaign, but more than $50,000 of that has been in a most unusual currency: deer semen. Deer breeder Fred Gonzalez, treasurer of the Texas Deer Association, said breeders often donate semen "straws" instead of money: "Semen is a very common way for us to donate. One collection on a buck could lead to 60 straws sometimes. If you have a desirable animal, it's a way to bring value without breaking the bank." A campaign finance report valued each straw donated at $1,000. Gonzalez told the Dallas Morning News that the semen donated for Garza's campaign went into a tank sold in one lot, the proceeds of which will go to the campaign. [Dallas Morning News, 3/2/2018]

Oops

-- Kenny Bachman, 21, had a rude awakening when he racked up a $1,636 Uber fare on Feb. 23 following a night of partying with high school friends in Morgantown, West Virginia. The Charlotte Observer reported that Bachman and the friend he planned on staying with stopped at a convenience store during the evening. The friend told Bachman to wait outside as he went into the store, but Bachman was gone when the friend emerged. He had summoned an Uber to take him home -- to Gloucester County, New Jersey. Bachman was passed out for most of the nearly 300-mile trip, which was subject to surge pricing, doubling the fare. Bachman challenged the charge but ended up paying the full fare; "I feel like there's very little I could have done to reverse it," he said. [Charlotte Observer, 2/28/2016]

-- Miami resident Luce Rameau didn't know what hit her on Feb. 28 as she lay in bed, talking on the phone. She thought a bomb had gone off as wood and debris fell on her bed. "I kept screaming, 'What happened? What happened?'" Rameau told the Miami Herald. It wasn't a bomb; an 80-pound inflatable raft had crashed through her roof after becoming untethered from a Royal Canadian Air Force search-and-rescue helicopter that had been conducting an offshore training exercise nearby. David Lavallee, a spokesman for the RCAF, said the accident is being investigated and the air force intends to help "the resident with accommodations and other support." Rameau suffered only minor injuries. [Miami Herald, 2/28/2018]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Caught red-handed: Leahman G.R. Potter, 48, neglected to conceal the evidence after he stole a pot of meatballs from a neighbor's garage in Hazle Township in Pennsylvania. The meatball owner returned home Feb. 26 to find Potter outside his garage, covered in red sauce, and his meatball pot missing, according to United Press International. When Pennsylvania State Police arrived shortly afterward, they found the pot in the street and Potter at his home, where he was charged with burglary, trespass and theft. [United Press International, 2/28/2018]

-- KTAR News in Phoenix reported that Peoria Police Department officers were called to a gas station Feb. 23 in response to a shoplifting. When they arrived, suspects Marwan Al Ebadi, 28, and Salma Hourieh, 29, set off on foot before hopping over a fence -- directly into a secured parking lot of the Peoria Police Department. Hourieh tried to hide beneath a bench outside the station, while Al Ebadi jumped back over the fence and was stopped in the street. Both were arrested and charged with shoplifting. "You should never run from the police," said police spokesman Brandon Sheffert, "and if you do, do not run into a secure parking lot of a police station." [KTAR, 2/28/2018]

Awesome!

Name recognition won't be a problem for the Libertarian Party challenger for eastern Arkansas' 1st Congressional District seat: Elvis D. Presley. The Associated Press reported that the King impersonator from Star City, Arkansas, who legally changed his name to match the rock 'n' roll icon's (although the "real" Elvis' middle initial was A), filed campaign paperwork on Feb. 26. Presley works as an auto refinish technician at Camp's Custom Paint in Star City, but his political ambitions aren't new: He's also run for governor, land commissioner and state legislature. [AP via KFSM-TV, 2/26/2018]

If It Ain't Broke ...

Republican State Sen. John Ruckelshaus of Indianapolis is the proud sponsor of a new measure in Indiana that bans eyeball tattooing. According to the proposed law, passed by both the Senate and the House, tattooists would be prohibited from coloring the whites of a customer's eyes, with a fine of up to $10,000 per violation. The Associated Press reported that Sen. Ruckelshaus admitted he's not aware of any problems with eyeball-tattooing in Indiana. The legislation was on Gov. Eric Holcomb's desk for his signature on March 1. [The Associated Press, 3/1/2018]

Unclear on the Concept

Even before it opened last year, Apple's spaceship building in Cupertino, California, presented a transparency problem: Its glass walls couldn't be distinguished from its glass doors, and since moving in on Jan. 2, several workers have been injured after walking into them. The San Francisco Chronicle reported three people suffered head injuries severe enough to summon emergency responders. Apple's vice president of real estate and development, Dan Whisenhunt, told the local Rotary Club in January there hadn't been any problems with birds flying into the glass. "Now the humans on the inside, that's a different story," he said. "That's a problem we are working on right now." Architects have added black rectangular stickers to the glass panes, which seem to be helping. [San Francisco Chronicle, 3/2/2018]

Last Chapter

Houston detectives were finally able to close a case in January that had been vexing them for 30 months. Mary Stewart Cerruti, 61, the last holdout in a neighborhood being bought up for redevelopment, was reported missing in August 2015 by a friend, who described her as shy and frail, the Houston Chronicle detailed. However, police had no leads, and her home was foreclosed on after payments stopped. Eventually, the home was cleaned out and sold, and new renters moved in. On March 4, 2017, a 911 call reported a human skeleton "between two of the walls" in the home. When police arrived, they found a hole in the attic floorboards and down below were the bones, clothing and shoes that had been discovered' an investigation found no evidence of foul play. On Jan. 23, the Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences confirmed the remains were those of Cerruti. [Houston Chronicle, 1/237/2018]

Full Disclosure

Linda Fein and her husband thought they had found their dream home in Paradise Valley, near Phoenix. They offered $1.8 million for the house and 1.3-acre lot, but then found out the house belonged to Kevin and Sandra Otterson and was the setting for their pornography website, Wifey's World, founded in 1998. "I just can't make Thanksgiving dinner on counters where a porn star has been lounging around," Fein told the Arizona Republic. In late February, the couple rescinded their offer on the four-bedroom home. "I certainly believe there are people out there who wouldn't care about the house being used for those purposes," Fein explained. "I'm just not one of them." [Arizona Republic, 3/1/2018]

As the medal ceremony for the men's 1,000-meter speedskating competition concluded on Feb. 23 at the Gangneung Oval in Pyeongchang, South Korea, "serial streaker" Mark Roberts, 55, of Liverpool, England, jumped the wall and took to the ice. Roberts peeled off his tracksuit to reveal a pink tutu, a "penis pouch" with a monkey face on it, and "Peace + Love" scrawled on his torso. Although he might have lost points for an initial fall, he jumped up and continued performing a dance routine. Metro News recounts that Roberts has streaked at Wimbledon, the French Open and soccer matches, along with dog shows and other large events. He "retired" in 2013, saying "gravity's against me," but apparently he couldn't resist the global exposure of the Olympics. [Metro News, 2/24/2018]

Ironies

As the 2018 Winter Olympics got underway, and athletes from Russia were forced to compete under the Olympic flag and be designated as "Olympic Athletes from Russia" (OAR) as punishment for systemic doping at the 2014 Games in Sochi, Russian bobsledder Nadezhda Sergeeva proudly wore a T-shirt that read "I Don't Do Doping." But on Feb. 23, Sergeeva became the second Russian athlete to fail a doping test. (Russian curler Alexander Krushelnitsky also failed a drug test earlier in the Games.) Sergeeva was a vocal critic of the Olympic policy toward Russian athletes, telling Yahoo Sports, "If we are here, and we are clean, we should be able to walk under our flag." [Yahoo Sports, 2/23/2018]

Suspicions Confirmed

District Judge Joseph Boeckmann, 72, took a personal interest in the young men who came through his courtrooms in Cross and St. Francis counties (Arkansas) from 2009 to 2015 with traffic citations or misdemeanor criminal charges. The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette reported that Judge Boeckmann routinely dismissed those charges pending "community service," which Boeckmann would set up through private phone calls with the men, assigning them to provide sexual favors or allow Judge Boeckmann to take pictures of them in "embarrassing positions; positions that he found sexually gratifying," a court document revealed. Boeckmann, of Wynne, Arkansas, admitted to the charges in October and was sentenced Feb. 21 to five years in prison. Prosecutors had agreed to a lesser sentence in light of Boeckmann's age, but U.S. District Judge Kristine Baker ordered the maximum sentence, saying, "(H)e acted corruptly while serving as a judge. That sets his crime apart." [Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 2/21/2018]

Unclear on the Concept

Washington State University senior Logan Tago, a football linebacker, received WSU's Center for Civic Engagement Fall 2017 Community Involvement award on Feb. 1 for 240 hours of service to the local community, reported the WSU Daily Evergreen -- service he was ordered to give as a stipulation of his sentencing in January 2017 for third-degree assault. In June 2016, The Seattle Times reported, Tago allegedly hit a man with a six-pack of beer and later agreed to a plea deal that called for 30 days in the Whitman County jail, $800 in fines -- and exactly 240 hours of community service. Tago managed to play the final two games of the 2016 season and in all of 2017's 13 games, despite a WSU athletic department policy that prohibits players who are facing a felony charge from playing. [The Daily Evergreen, 2/3/2018]

Compelling Explanations

On Feb. 9, the Texas 3rd Court of Appeals upheld the four-year prison sentence Ralph Alfred Friesenhahn, 65, of San Antonio received after his fourth DWI conviction in 2016, rejecting arguments from his lawyer, Gina Jones of New Braunfels, that the state's legal limit for alcohol concentration discriminates against alcoholics, who have a higher tolerance for liquor. "You're not being punished for being an alcoholic," Sammy McCrary, chief of the felony division for the Comal County criminal district attorney's office told the Austin American-Statesman. "It's the driving that's the problem." [Austin American-Statesman, 2/9/2018]

Special Delivery

At the beginning of February, several residents along a block in Marina, California, were hit by mail thieves. But the criminals probably didn't know what hit them when they stole Rosalinda Vizina's package. SFGate.com reported that Vizina, an entomologist, had ordered 500 live cockroaches for a study she's working on. "I feel a little bad for the roaches in case they got smushed or tossed or something like that," Vizina told KSBW. "For the thieves, I hope they went everywhere," she added. [KSBW, 2/9/2018]

TMI?

On Feb. 20, little Jameson Proctor was born in St. Louis and a radio audience listened in as he came into the world. Cassiday Proctor, co-host of the "Spencer's Neighborhood" show on The Arch in St. Louis, scheduled her C-section right in the middle of drive time and then invited listeners to share the moment when Jameson was born, at 7:45 a.m., through a broadcast phone call. "Our radio show is all about sharing our personal lives," Proctor, 33, told The Telegraph. She also solicited ideas for names from her fans and received more than 400 submissions. "It was not something I wanted to keep private," Proctor said. [The Telegraph, 2/22/2018]

Awesome!

The mining town of Kurri Kurri, Australia, cut loose on Feb. 24 with a new festival to draw visitors: Mullet Fest, a celebration of the infamous hairstyle and those who wear it. Local hairdresser Laura Johnson came up with the idea, which included contests (Junior Mullet and Ladies' Mullet categories, and so forth) and bands (the Stunned Mullets from Karuah). Winner of the junior division prize, Alex Keavy, 12, told The Guardian: "It's not a hairstyle, it's a lifestyle." He pledged to use his $50 prize to buy his girlfriend a pie. More than 180 contestants competed for Best Mullet of Them All. Meryl Swanson, the local Labor MP and a contest judge, said she was "looking for pride, people embracing the mullet, finding self-worth in it." [The Guardian, 2/25/2018]

Can't Possibly Be True

A designer pop-up store in Seattle made news on Feb. 22 for one particular item: a clear plastic, drawstring shopping bag that sells for -- wait for it -- $590. United Press International reported the bag was first seen on Paris runways in January and sports the Celine Paris label along with warnings in several languages about the suffocation risk posed to babies. [United Press International, 2/22/2018]

Close Call

Flemington, New Jersey, cemetery worker Peter Ferencze, 59, was digging a grave at Hanover Cemetery on Feb. 20 when the 800-pound lid of a concrete burial vault fell on top of him, pinning him in the grave. Ferencze was treated and released from Morristown Medical Center after police and other first responders managed to lift the cover with straps, giving Ferencze enough space to squeeze out, the Morristown Daily Record reported. [Morristown Daily Record, 2/21/2018]

Bright Ideas

-- Christina C. Ochoa of Wichita, Kansas, and her mom, Christy L. Ochoa, explained to The Wichita Eagle that more than 50 $5 withdrawals Christina made from a Central National Bank ATM during a five-day period in mid-January were for a "money cake" she was making as a gift for someone. But the bank says the faulty ATM was dispensing $100 bills instead of $5 bills, and that Christina received $14,120 instead of $1,485. In a Jan. 22 lawsuit, the bank seeks $11,607.36, plus interest, it says is owed by Christina. The bank is also trying to seize two cars the Ochoas bought during the same period, claiming that the $3,000 down payment for one of them was made up entirely of $100 bills. [The Wichita Eagle, 2/20/2018]

-- In Boston, trolley driver Thomas Lucey, 46, of Saugus, Massachusetts, was indicted Feb. 21 for paying a man $2,000 to attack him while he was on the job on Oct. 30, 2016, so that Lucey could collect workers' compensation and disability insurance. The "attacker" wore a Halloween mask and carried a plastic pumpkin, from which police obtained fingerprints used to identify him and unravel the scheme, according to The Boston Globe. A grand jury in Suffolk County brought charges of insurance fraud, workers' compensation fraud, misleading a police investigation and perjury. [Boston Globe, 2/22/2018]

Police in Mainz, Germany, responded to an apartment building after cries were heard from within one unit early on Feb. 17, The Associated Press reported. When they arrived, officers found two men, the 58-year-old tenant and a 61-year-old visitor, "hopelessly locked up" with a mannequin dressed as a knight and a large remote-controlled car. The men were too drunk to explain how they had become entangled, and one officer remarked that "the whole thing would have remained a funny episode" if the younger man had not become "more than impolite." He now faces a charge of insulting officers. [Associated Press via The New York Times, 2/17/2018]

People Different From Us

Metro News reported on Feb. 20 that travelers "remained silent" for 20 minutes while a fellow passenger on a Ural Airlines flight from Antalya, Turkey, to Moscow used the air vent above her seat to dry a pair of underwear. Witnesses reported that the woman showed no shame and that "everybody was looking with interest and confusion." Debate raged later, however, after video of the woman was posted online, with one commenter speculating that "maybe the takeoff was sort of extreme, so now she has to dry those." [Metro News, 2/20/2018]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Shanghai, China, police posted a video on social media of two men trying to break into a business on Feb. 14 by using bricks to shatter the glass storefront. But as United Press International reported, when Suspect A's brick bounced off the glass, he bent to retrieve it and ended up squarely in the path of Suspect B's brick, which struck him in the head and apparently knocked him out. In the video, Suspect B can be seen dragging Suspect A away from the store. Police remarked: "If all burglars were like this, we wouldn't need to work overtime." [United Press International, 2/19/2018]

-- A drug smuggler from Brazil apparently didn't know he was under investigation by the National Anti-Narcotics Trafficking Unit in Portugal when he arrived on a flight Feb. 12 wearing a set of false butt cheeks, filled with 2.2 pounds of cocaine, reported United Press International. The 32-year-old unidentified man was detained at the Tax and Customs Authority and searched, where his unusual derriere aroused suspicion. An accomplice, waiting for him at a Lisbon train station, was also arrested and charged with drug trafficking. [United Press International, 2/14/2018]

The Litigious Society

Crestline, California, resident Claudia Ackley, 46, has teamed with "Discovering Bigfoot" filmmaker Todd Standing to sue the state of California, requesting on Jan. 18 that state agencies acknowledge the existence of a Sasquatch species. Ackley and her daughters, 11 and 14, say they were hiking a trail at Lake Arrowhead in March 2017 when they spotted a large figure braced in a pine tree. "I ran into a Sasquatch -- a Bigfoot. We were face to face," Ackley told the San Bernardino Sun. Forest rangers insisted at the time that Ackley and her daughters had seen a bear, and Ackley fears that by not acknowledging the presence of the legendary creatures, the state is putting the public at risk. "People have to be warned about these things," she said. "They are big."

[San Bernardino Sun, 2/14/2018]

Inexplicable

Firefighter Constantinos "Danny" Filippidis, 49, from Toronto, was the subject of a weeklong search by more than 250 people using drones, dogs and helicopters starting Feb. 7, when he disappeared from Whiteface Mountain ski resort in New York's Adirondacks. When he finally turned up in California at the Sacramento International Airport on Feb. 13, he was still dressed in his ski pants and ski boots, and he still had his helmet, along with a new iPhone and a recent haircut. But, according to the Syracuse Post-Standard, Filippidis couldn't tell officers anything about how he had traveled across the country, other than he rode in a "big-rig-style truck" and "slept a lot." The truck dropped him off in downtown Sacramento, but he was unable to explain how he got to the airport. He was taken to an area hospital. [The Syracuse Post-Standard, 2/14/2018]

Compelling Explanation

A woman claiming to be on a mission from God led a Kentucky State Police trooper on a chase at speeds up to 120 mph on Feb. 10, stopping only when another trooper pulled in front of her car. According to the Elizabethtown (Kentucky) News-Enterprise, Connie Lynn Allen, 52, of Goodlettsville, Tennessee, told officers that she was Mother Mary, en route to pick up Baby Jesus, and that God had given her permission to speed. She also said that she had died six years ago. She was charged with several offenses and is being held in Hardin County. [News-Enterprise, 2/12/2018]

Awesome!

Staffers at a Bangor, Maine, day care called Watch Me Shine were happy to receive Valentine's cookies made by a parent -- until those who ate them started to feel high. "Within 15 minutes, teachers were reporting they had concerns about those cookies," Tiffany Nowicki, director of the center, told the Bangor Daily News. About 12 staff members felt the effects of the treats, which were confiscated by the police and are being tested. "If they find something that shouldn't be in those cookies," Nowicki said, "that's a big problem and we'll make sure it's addressed." The day care has instituted a new policy that no outside food can be brought in for the children or staff. [Bangor Daily News, 2/16/2018]

The Continuing Crisis

Donna Walker of Linthwaite, England, just wanted a nice night out to celebrate her 50th birthday; she wasn't anticipating a trip to the emergency room. Walker, along with her husband, Carlton, 45, and their two sons, was waiting for takeout food at the Atlantis restaurant in Holmfirth, West Yorkshire, early on Feb. 18 when a brawl broke out. The Walkers don't know what started the fight, but Carlton told Metro News: "When the fight spilled out of the takeaway, I said to Donna to stay inside. When I turned round my wife was at the doorway being attacked and was covered in blood. My son was being strangled." Donna sustained a 2-inch gash on her forehead and was bitten on the arm by the young woman who attacked her, calling for a tetanus shot and antibiotics. "I wiped my eye and saw all the blood," Donna said. "I had no idea I had been struck." Police were still looking for the attackers at press time. [Metro News, 2/19/2018]

Weird History

Union College in Schenectady, New York, excitedly announced on Feb. 13 that a librarian flipping through the brown pages of a 1793 almanac found a real historical treasure: a lock of President George Washington's hair. Librarian John Myers came upon an envelope with "Washington's hair" written in script on it, and inside, tied with a thread, were several strands of grayish hair. Keith Beutler, associate professor of history at Missouri Baptist University and the author of a book called "Washington's Hair," told The New York Times that in Washington's day, it was not uncommon to exchange locks of hair as remembrances. "Exchanging locks of hair were like the selfies of the day," Beutler said. Experts are examining the almanac and its provenance to determine whether the hair likely belongs to our first president, but in the meantime, college officials are learning how to preserve it. [The New York Times, 2/18/2018]

Animal Antics

At 10 Downing Street in London, Larry the cat is an institution, charged with chasing away mice and offering pet therapy to any willing caressers. Meanwhile, at the Foreign Office, Palmerston the cat serves the same purpose. But Larry and Palmerston have a long-running feud, according to The Telegraph, and on Feb. 16, they went at it again. Jezebel reported that fur was ripped and a collar torn off as the two cats duked it out in the street. Nick Dixon of "Good Morning Britain" said it appeared that Palmerston won this round: "Palmerston seemed to strut out of Downing Street. Larry seemed a bit dazed and confused after the fight." [Jezebel, 2/16/2018]