Members of the Spann family of Comanche County, Oklahoma, keep running afoul of that state's incest law, with the latest dust-up over the marriage of 26-year-old Misty Spann and her 43-year-old mother, Patricia, in March 2016. The two had been separated after Patricia lost custody of her young kids, but when they resumed contact a few years ago, Patricia told investigators, "they hit it off." KFOR reported that Patricia also married one of her sons in 2008, but two years later that marriage was annulled. Another son reported to KSWO-TV that Patricia tried to start an inappropriate relationship with him, but he shut her down. In early November, Misty received a 10-year deferred sentence and will serve two years' probation. Her mother/ex-wife (their union was annulled in October) will be sentenced in January. [KFOR-TV, 11/9/2017]

Nerd Alerts

-- Since Twitter announced that it would allow 280-character messages rather than its original 140, a whole new world has opened up for the game-addicted among us. Gizmodo reports that tweeters are using the expanded tweetspace to play board games such as chess, Connect Four, Shogi and Go. Games are even being customized; one tweet enthuses about "Marine biology twitter-chess. With a new marine biology fact every time a piece is moved, and a scientifically accurate death scene when a piece is taken." Uh, ok. [Gizmodo, 11/9/2017]

-- A sharp-eyed Google Earth user from Leeds, England, searching for Longcross Studios in Surrey, came across a "Star Wars" fan's dream: the Millennium Falcon, nestled inside a ring of stacked shipping containers and covered with a tarp. Andi Durrant tweeted about his find on Nov. 8. The spaceship was used in filming "Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi" at Longcross; that movie is set for release Dec. 15. [Daily Mail, 11/8/2017]

Sweet!

Becky Reilly of Omaha, Nebraska, was forced to call in a roofing company after discovering thousands of honeybees had invaded her home's attic, producing so much honey that it was dripping down the side of the house. "We heard a loud and rhythmic buzzing, and it was somewhat terrifying because we knew what it meant," Reilly told KETV. Jason Starkey of Takoda Green Roofing said he removed about 40 pounds of honey on Oct. 26 before moving the bees and tackling the damage, which he called "horrible." Local beekeeper John Gebuhr moved the bees to his garage, but he is pessimistic about their survival through the winter. But Reilly's friends and neighbors are thrilled: They're getting honey for Christmas! [KETV, 11/9/2017]

Inappropriate

An Indonesian museum, De Mata Trick Eye Museum in Yogyakarta, has been forced to remove an exhibit that encouraged visitors to take a selfie with a waxwork of Adolf Hitler. The figure, which stood in front of a giant image of the entrance to Auschwitz concentration camp, had been on display since 2014, and the museum said it was one of the most popular displays. Metro News reported that the museum originally defended the exhibit as "fun," but when the Simon Wiesenthal Centre in Los Angeles demanded its removal, the museum complied, taking it down on Nov. 10. [Metro News, 11/12/2017]

Ewwww!

Sean A. Sykes Jr., 24, of Kansas City, Missouri, has discovered one way to avoid the justice system. Sykes was detained in a Sept. 1 traffic stop, but he denied any knowledge of the drugs and handguns found in the car, The Kansas City Star reported. As he was being questioned at the police station, the detective wrote in his report, Sykes was asked his address. In response, he "leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering with the address. Mr. Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interview," the detective wrote. Charges were not filed at that time, but Sykes was pulled over again on Nov. 5 and was in possession of marijuana, crack cocaine and a stolen pistol. He was in custody awaiting a bond hearing. [The Kansas City Star, 11/7/2017]

Least Competent Criminals

-- A loss prevention officer at a Vero Beach, Florida, Walmart happened to catch 25-year-old Cheyenne Amber West and another woman as they carried out some complicated maneuvers in the electronics aisle on Nov. 6. The officer told the Indian River County Sheriff's Office that West and her friend chose a computer, video game controllers and other items worth a total of almost $2,000, then covered the bar codes with stickers taken from less-expensive clearance items. They then moved to the self-checkout lane, where their loot totaled just $3.70. "I am just trying to get gifts for my son that I cannot afford," West told officers. "The computer is for my husband. Since he just got me a Coach purse, I figured he deserved something nice as well." Treasure Coast Newspapers reports that West was charged with felony grand theft and felony shoplifting and was released on $3,000 bail. The other woman was not charged. [TCPalm, 11/7/2017]

-- Rondell Tony Chinuhuk, 32, of Anchorage, Alaska, had the pedal to the metal on Nov. 7 when he nicked a motorized shopping cart from a Safeway store in Fairbanks. But the battery-operated Mart Cart tops out at 1.9 miles per hour, so even after a 10-minute joyride, he had barely left the parking lot. The Fairbanks Daily News-Miner reported that Chinuhuk was charged with felony second-degree theft. [Fairbanks Daily News-Miner, 11/8/2017]

A New Twist on Yard Work

Council officers for the village of Blubberhouses in North Yorkshire, England, stumbled upon seven trash bags full of cannabis plants at the side of a road on Nov. 12, according to the BBC. They contacted the North Yorkshire Police, whereupon Constable Amanda Hanusch-Moore tweeted a photo of the bags and invited the owners to "come and speak to us at Harrogate Police Station, we're more than happy to discuss!" [BBC, 11/12/2017]

Voting Woes

-- Douglas Aaron Shuttlesworth, 34, was simply trying to exercise his civic duty when he reported to an elementary school in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, to vote -- on Monday, Nov. 6, the day before Election Day. Susquehanna Township police arrested Shuttlesworth for DUI after he appeared at the school intoxicated and admitted he had driven there to vote. The Associated Press reported that Shuttlesworth's mother elucidated: Her son thought it was Tuesday. [Associated Press, 11/8/2017]

-- Poll workers at Merrill Auditorium in Portland, Maine, made an unusual discovery on Election Day: Someone had left behind a plastic bag with a complete set of dentures inside. UPI reported that the dental prosthetics were removed to the Portland City Clerk's office, where they await retrieval by their (presumably) toothless voter. [United Press International, 11/10/2017]

Naked and Weird

-- Joseph Vaglica, 40, of Edgewater, Florida, surprised a woman at her New Smyrna Beach home on Nov. 7 when, naked, he burst in through the garage door and ran through her kitchen "acting irrationally." The homeowner dashed next door to her stepson's house and called 911, reported the Daytona Beach News-Journal. Meanwhile, Vaglica helped himself to some of the woman's clothes, then ran outside and started banging on the windows at the stepson's home. When New Smyrna Beach police officers arrived, Vaglica was rolling around in the grass. Police said he was intoxicated; he was later charged with burglary with assault. [Daytona Beach News-Journal, 11/10/17]

-- Sullivan, Missouri, police department Lt. Patrick Johnson joined the town's residents in witnessing a barrage of weird behavior on Nov. 3 and 4. Johnson thinks the people who were "barking like dogs or other farm animals, running up and down the street, entering people's homes, breaking into a business" were high on flakka, a synthetic drug, mixed with methamphetamine, although the substances have not yet been tested. Some of the people broke into a nightclub, stripped down to their birthday suits and showered in fountain water or soda, according to the Sullivan Independent News. Two people were arrested, and others were treated at a hospital. [Sullivan Independent News, 11/7/2017]

A presumably humiliated opossum "ran off" in late October after three Pennsylvania men posted photos on social media of themselves giving it beer and kissing it. The Pennsylvania State Game Commission was unamused by the antics of Michael Robert Tice, 18, of Newport; David Mason Snook, 19, of Reedsville; and Morgan Scot Ehrenzeller, 20, of McAlisterville, and charged them on Nov. 2 with unlawful possession of wildlife and disturbing wildlife. According to TribLive, Tice kissed and held the animal while Snook poured beer on its head and into its mouth. The men couldn't be reached for comment. [TribLive, 11/3/2017]

Be Kind to Animals

-- Donna Byrne, 53, of Polk County, Florida, was charged with driving under the influence on Nov. 2, but it was her mode of transportation that earned her an animal neglect charge. Byrne was riding her horse, Boduke, down a busy road in Lakeland in the middle of the afternoon. When officers reached Byrne, she was staggering and had red, watery eyes -- explained by her breath alcohol level, which was more than twice the legal limit, Polk County Sheriff's Office spokesman Brian Bruchey told the Orlando Sentinel. Boduke got a ride to the sheriff's Animal Control livestock facility, but Bruchey said he'd most likely be returned to Byrne, whose rap sheet includes cruelty to animals and drug possession. [Orlando Sentinel, 11/3/2017]

-- In Darmstadt, Germany, police detained a 19-year-old man on Nov. 7 after they noticed "a significant bulge in his trousers" and discovered he was carrying a baby python in his pants. The unnamed man was carrying on a loud, drunken argument with another man when police were called, reported The Guardian. Officers took the man and the snake to the police station, where the snake was put in a box, and authorities considered whether the "non-species-appropriate transport" could be a violation of animal protection laws. [The Guardian, 11/8/2017]

Nakedly Weird

A family of three were taken from their home and forced into a car on Nov. 7 in Leduc County, Alberta, Canada, by five naked people. The man, who was placed in the trunk, quickly escaped, and his wife and baby also managed to get away, according to The Canadian Press. A passing truck driver picked up the three victims, but then the naked kidnappers' car rammed his truck from behind, sending it into a ditch. Royal Canadian Mounted Police caught up with the criminals; of the five, two were minors and were not charged. The adults faced charges of kidnapping and resisting arrest. The RCMP gave no explanation for why the five kidnappers were naked, but posited that drugs or alcohol may have been involved. [Canadian Press, 11/7/2017]

Smooth Reactions

Tempers flared in Minot, North Dakota, before 33-year-old Cornelius Marcel Young was charged with terrorizing after attacking his fiancee's brother at a trailer park on Nov. 3. The Minot Daily News reported that Young yelled at the brother, punched him in the face and knocked him into a wall after he had turned up the thermostat in the trailer, according to a Minot Municipal Court affidavit. When the brother threatened to call police, Young brandished a knife, as his fiancee jumped on his back and bit his ear "to distract him." Two children were in the trailer during the fight but were uninjured. [Minot Daily News, 11/8/2017]

Ow Ow Ow!

A Chicago wiener stand was the scene of a crime gone south on Oct. 31 when Terrion Pouncy, 19, accidentally discharged his gun, which he was trying to conceal in his pants, and shot himself in a most sensitive location. The Chicago Tribune reported police were called to the Original Maxwell Street Polish at about 6 a.m., after a hooded man threatened employees with a small-caliber pistol. One of the employees gave him money from the cash register, according to the complaint against Pouncy, after which the robber stole the man's cellphone and wallet, and ran outside, stuffing the gun in his pants, but it went off twice, striking his "groin" and thigh. Pouncy kept running and eventually called 911 to report that he'd been shot. He was charged with two counts of armed robbery with a firearm, but couldn't appear for his bond hearing, as he was recovering at a local hospital. [Chicago Tribune, 11/3/2017]

Compelling Explanation

The Stardust Ranch in Rainbow Valley, Arizona, has a lot to offer potential buyers: Just an hour west of Phoenix, the property boasts a 3,500-square-foot home with a pool, 10 acres, barns, a gated entry ... and two portals to another dimension: one at the back of the property, and one in the fireplace. Owner John Edmonds and his wife bought the property, now listed at $5 million, 20 years ago to run a horse rescue, but he says he's killed more than a dozen extraterrestrials on the property (using a samurai sword) and has suffered many injuries in his encounters with them. Edmonds told KPNX TV in October that aliens tried to abduct his wife: "They actually levitated her out of the bed in the master chamber and carried her into the parking lot and tried to draw her up into the craft." (She won't enter the room anymore.) Listing agent Kimberly Gero notes: "This isn't the type of property that you can just place in the MLS and wait for a buyer to come along." [KPNX, 10/25/2017]

Who Knew?

Poland has one of the lowest birth rates in Europe, so the Polish Health Ministry is using the example of rabbits to encourage its citizens to multiply. The ministry produced a short video with a rabbit "narrator" who explains that members of the Leporidae family enjoy exercise, a healthy diet and little stress. "If you ever want to be a parent, follow the example of rabbits," the video suggests. The ministry said in a statement to the Associated Press in early November that it was looking for a way to increase public awareness about the low birth rate that "did not offend anyone and was not vulgar." [The Associated Press, 11/8/2017]

Inexplicable

Boriska Kipriyanovich, 21, of Volgograd, Russia, claims that he lived on Mars until a long-ago war wiped out all life on that planet and he has now been reborn on Earth. As a Martian, he visited Earth, where his people had close ties to ancient Egyptians; that's how he knows there is a mechanism behind the ear of the Great Sphinx of Giza that can unlock it, which will "significantly change" life on Earth. His mother told Metro News in November that Kipriyanovich could read by the age of 1, draw by 2 and has talked about ancient civilizations since he was a small boy, despite not having been taught about them. Among his revelations about Martians: They stop aging at age 35 and are immortal; they grow to about 7 feet tall and breathe carbon dioxide; and they still live on Mars, but underground. No further word about what changes an "unlocked" Sphinx will bring. [Metro News, 11/7/2017]

Unusual Hobbies

Kung fu master Li Weijun used his bare hands to smash 302 walnuts in 55 seconds on Nov. 1, breaking a Guinness World Record. The previous record, held by a man in India, was 212 walnuts in one minute, according to United Press International. Weijun accomplished the feat in Foshan City, Guangdong Province, China, with video cameras rolling to capture the proof, which has been submitted to Guinness for official recognition. [United Press International, 11/2/2017]

Wait, What?

In case simply eating fried chicken isn't enough for KFC fans in Japan, Twitter users there have an opportunity to luxuriate in the essence of one of 100 KFC "bath bombs" -- bath salts infused with the fast food giant's signature "11 herbs and spices." KFC tells United Press International that the limited edition bath bombs won't be sold in stores, but people who retweet the chain's promotional post will be entered to win one. [United Press International, 11/8/2017]

Three teenagers from Rahway, New Jersey, who call themselves the Rahway Bushmen, have been discouraged from their signature prank: dressing up as bushes and popping up in Rahway River Park to say "Hi!" to unsuspecting passersby. NJ.com reported in October that the Union County Police Department warned the Bushmen that they would be arrested if caught in action. The high school students started by jumping out to scare people, but decided to soften their approach with a gentler greeting. "We were trying to be harmless," one of the Bushmen said. "It's more or less an idea to try to make people smile." But Union County Public Information Officer (and fun sucker) Sebastian D'Elia deadpanned: "It's great until the first person falls and sues the county." Or puts an eye out. [NJ.com, 10/26/2017]

Animal Troublemakers

-- Pilots were warned of "low sealings" at Wiley Post-Will Rogers Memorial Airport in Utqiagvik, Alaska, on Oct. 23 because of an obstruction on the runway: a 450-pound bearded seal. Meadow Bailey of the Alaska Department of Transportation told KTVA-TV that the city, also known as Barrow, was hit by heavy storms that day, and airport staff discovered the seal while clearing the runway. However, staff are not authorized to handle marine animals, so North Slope Animal Control stepped in, using a sled to remove the seal. Bailey said animals such as musk ox, caribou and polar bears are common on the runway, but the seal was a first. [KTVA, 10/25/2017]

-- About two dozen car owners in the Nob Hill neighborhood of Snellville, Georgia, were perturbed in late October by what they thought was vandalism: Their cars' side mirrors were being shattered, even in broad daylight. Finally, according to WSB-TV, one resident caught the real perpetrator: a pileated woodpecker who apparently believes his reflection in the mirrors is a rival. Because pileated woodpeckers are a protected species, neighbors had to get creative with their solution. They are now placing plastic bags over their side mirrors while the cars are parked. [WSB-TV, 10/24/2017]

Undignified Death

Nathan William Parris, 72, met his unfortunate end when a cow he was trying to move turned against him at his farm in Floyd County, Georgia, on Oct. 25. Parris was pinned against a fence by the recalcitrant cow, reported the Rome News-Tribune, which caused him severe chest trauma. First responders tried to revive him, but he was pronounced dead at the Redmond Regional Medical Center emergency room. [Rome News-Tribune, 10/26/2017]

Ironies

-- Workers at a Carl's Jr. in Santa Rosa, California, were busy filling an order for 165 Super Star burgers for first responders to the Fountaingrove area wildfires on Oct. 26 when a grease fire broke out in the restaurant. The fire started in the char broiler and then jumped to the exhaust system. Franchise co-owner Greg Funkhouser told The Press-Democrat the building was "completely torn up. ... We made it through the big one, only to get taken out by this." When the person who placed the order arrived to pick it up, he saw six Santa Rosa Fire Department trucks in the parking lot and left, so Funkhouser handed out free burgers to "anyone around." [The Press-Democrat, 10/26/2017]

-- A Henrietta, New York, gifts and oddities store earned its name on Oct. 24 when a garbage truck rolled between two gas pumps and across a road to crash into the 200-year-old building where the store had opened in June. Jeri Flack, owner of A Beautiful Mess, told WHAM-TV that her building is "wrecked in the front so bad that I can't open back up." Witnesses say the truck driver pulled into a spot at a Sunoco station across the street and got out to use the restroom. That's when the truck rolled away and barreled into the business. Sunoco employee T.J. Rauber said, "I see a lot of crazy stuff up here, but I ain't never seen nothing like that." [WHAM-TV, 10/24/2017]

Least Competent Criminal

Burglary suspect and career criminal Shane Paul Owen, 46, of South Salt Lake, Utah, was on the run from police on Oct. 24 when he dashed into a vacant church. A Salt Lake City SWAT team held a standoff at the church for more than six hours -- until Owen called 911 to say that he was locked in the church's boiler room and couldn't get out. "Can you hurry?" he asked the dispatcher. "I need to talk to them first so they don't ... shoot me," Owen pleaded. The Deseret News reported he was booked on outstanding warrants for retaliation against a witness, drug distribution and identity fraud. [Deseret News, 10/24/2017]

Ewwwww!

Two doctors from the University of Florence in Italy have documented the case of a woman who has been sweating blood from her face and the palms of her hands for about three years. Roberto Maglie and Marzia Caproni wrote in the Canadian Medical Association Journal that the unnamed Italian woman couldn't identify a trigger for the bleeding, but said times of stress would intensify it for periods of from one to five minutes. After ruling out the possibility that she was faking it, the doctors diagnosed her with hematohidrosis, a rare disease that causes blood to be excreted through the pores. They were able to treat her, but couldn't completely stop the bleeding. The cause remains a mystery. [United Press International, 10/24/2017]

Thinning the Herd

In Paris, a 21-year-old "train surfer" was killed on Oct. 24 when he fell to the train tracks after hitting an overhead obstacle. His two friends, who were riding atop a train on Metro Line 6 with him, ran away from the scene, according to The Sun. The three had been attempting the stunt at the Bir-Hakeim Bridge during rush hour. The unnamed victim was pronounced dead at the scene. [The Sun, 10/26/2017]

Anger Management?

Katarian Marshall, 24, of New Orleans, Louisiana, apparently hit her limit of "fun" at a Chuck E. Cheese in Metairie on Oct. 29 and began "indiscriminately" spraying pepper spray on nearby patrons during an altercation that got out of hand. The Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office told The Times-Picayune that five adults and two children were treated for exposure to the spray at the scene. Marshall was charged with disturbing the peace by fighting. [The Times-Picayune, 10/30/2017]

Model Parent

Amber L. Schmunk, 28, of Fredonia, Wisconsin, put all her resources to work in concocting a way to get a plastic kiddie pool from one house to another on Sept. 9. Her solution: She had her 9-year-old son climb on top of her minivan and hold down the pool as she drove through Saukville. She must have had second thoughts, though, because according to the Ozaukee Press, she told police the boy was up there for only 20 to 30 seconds before she pulled over and wedged the pool into the back of the minivan. Schmunk said she thought it would be OK for her son to ride atop the car because her father had allowed her to do similar things when she was a child. But officers disagreed, charging her with second-degree recklessly endangering safety. [Ozaukee Press, 10/18/2017]

Justice With a Side of Vocabulary

Daren Young, 30, of Kahului, Hawaii, will need a good dictionary and thesaurus for the task ahead of him. On Oct. 27, Second Circuit Judge Rhonda Loo sentenced Young, who violated a protection order taken out by his ex-girlfriend to the tune of 144 calls and texts, to write down 144 nice things about his ex -- without repeating any words. "For every nasty thing you said about her, you're going to say a nice thing," Loo commanded. The Maui News reported that Loo also meted out two years' probation, a $2,400 fine and 200 hours of community service. [Maui News, 10/30/2017]