Seattle's ambitious Office of Arts & Culture has allocated $10,000 this year to pay a poet or writer to create a work while present on the city's Fremont Bridge drawbridge. The office's deputy director told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer in January that the city wants to encourage "public art" and that the grant will oblige the recipient to create a work of prose or poetry from the bridge's northwest tower, to help the people of Seattle understand the function of art in the city. (The artist will not be "in residence," for the tower has no running water.) [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 1-14-2016]

The dominant-submissive lifestyle soared to higher-brow status in February when The New York Times reported on the recent marriage of the celebrated composer of "moody, queasy" works (and compulsive dominant) Georg Friedrich Haas to Mollena Williams, who blogs introspectively about her own kinky bondage as "The Perverted Negress." Friedrich had introduced himself to her on a dating site with the note, "I would like to tame you," and credits her acceptance for his improved productivity -- because, he said, "I am not (any longer) disturbed by unfulfilled thoughts." Although Williams-Haas is a black woman submitting to a white man, she explained that, "To say I can't play my personal psychodrama out just because I'm black, that's racist." [New York Times, 2-24-2016]

-- Exasperated, Columbia County (Pennsylvania) District Judge Craig Long felt the need to post a sign outside his courtroom in January informing visitors that they should not wear pajamas to court. However, even Judge Long acknowledged that his admonition was not enforceable and that he was merely trying to encourage minimal standards. [WNEP-TV (Moosic, Pa.), 1-29-2016]

-- "Microaggression": In its brand-new communications stylebook this year for city workers, San Diego officials noted that the city's then-upcoming Presidents' Day announcements should, to be bias-free and inoffensive, never refer to America's "Founding Fathers" -- even though they were all males -- but only to "founders." [Pacific Justice Institute press release, 2-8-2016]

-- The roadside billboard giant Clear Channel Outdoor Americas announced in February that it would soon be recording the cellphone locations of drivers who pass the company's signs in 11 cities in order to give advertisers more information on how to pitch products to people with those particular travel patterns and behaviors. Clear Channel asserts that no individual identifications would be sought, but privacy advocates fret about potential abuses, and even a Clear Channel executive acknowledged that the program "does sound a bit creepy." (On the other hand, as Clear Channel pointed out to The New York Times, cellphone users' locations and characteristics are already being extensively monitored by advertisers.) [New York Times, 2-28-2016]

-- "Medical" marijuana will take on a new meaning soon if the Food and Drug Administration approves Foria Relief cannabis vaginal suppositories for relieving menstrual pain (from the California company Foria). Currently, the product is available only in California and Colorado, at $44 for a four-pack. The company claims the inserts are targeted to the pelvic nerve endings, but International Business Times, citing a gynecologist-blogger, noted that the only studies on the efficacy of Foria Relief were done on the uteruses of rats. [International Business Times UK, 2-2-2016]

-- A then-married couple, both graduates of elite California law schools, were convicted of felonies and went to jail briefly two years ago for a criminal scheme inexplicably tawdry -- and in February 2016 lost a resultant civil lawsuit for $5.7 million to the scheme's victim. A woman at their child's school had referred to the lawyers' son as "slow," enraging Kent Easter (University of California at Berkeley) and then-wife, Jill (UCLA), who retaliated by planting drugs and paraphernalia in Kelli Peters' car and then, a man identified via circumstantial evidence as Kent (with an accent as if from India), called in a DUI tip to police, resulting in Peters' arrest. According to Peters, neither perpetrator has ever expressed remorse, and although Kent admitted to "stupidity," he now complains that Peters does not deserve her windfall (like a "Powerball winner," he said). [Orange County Register, 2-6-2016]

-- The online-pornography colossus Pornhub's charity fundraising promotion during February benefited the Moclips Cetological Society ("Save the Whales") in honor of World Whale Day on Feb. 13. Its news release celebrated whales' sexuality -- that they, like humans, do not limit their horniness to procreation. The company said it would, from Feb. 8 to Feb. 29, donate a penny for every 2,000 videos played on its ubiquitous free websites. (That offer might appear modest, but a Seattle Post-Intelligencer reporter noted, over the first two days, the world's porn consumers had played 532 million videos -- earning the charity $2,660.) [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 2-10-2016]

Vicky Leyton, 72, announced her retirement recently in Benidorm, Spain, over health concerns, but the lady's 30-year run in her one-of-a-kind, "Sticky Vicky" magic show can hardly be forgotten by the 6 million fans who have witnessed it. Trained as a ballerina but emulating magicians who pull rabbits out of top hats, Vicky extracted an impressive array of items, also -- from the body cavity that is occasionally the subject of News of the Weird stories. One review in Spain's El Pais newspaper described a typical inventory: fluffy flags, flowers, ping-pong balls, sausages, eggs, a string of razor blades, a bottle and a light bulb (that was aglow!). [The Local (Madrid), 2-22-2016]

Additional Details Needed: (1) Andrew McNeil, 34, was arrested in Lincoln, Nebraska, in January and charged with disturbing the peace. According to the police report (and lacking follow-up reporting by local news outlets), McNeil was found around 11 p.m. naked and "covered in sawdust." (2) Rob Moore, 32, was arrested for misdemeanor drug possession in Marathon, Florida, in February, but he had only come to police attention when an officer heard him banging on the trunk of his car from the inside. Without follow-up reporting, Moore's story was that he was looking for something in the trunk, fell in, and couldn't get out. [KETV (Omaha), 1-22- 2016] [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 2-4-2016]

-- Perps Who Needed to Hit the Gym: (1) Anthony Nemeth, 26, seeking pain medication but lacking a prescription, leaped over the pharmacy counter of a Walgreens in Bradenton, Florida, in February and demanded a supply. Customer David West, 25, standing at the counter with his girlfriend, ended the "robbery" with four quick punches, sending Nemeth to the floor. (West is a competitive boxer and reportedly a former state champion.) (2) Wheelchair-user Betty Jeffery, 76, was briefly the victim of a purse-snatching in Pitsea, England, in February. She appeared vulnerable, but in fact is a former national arm-wrestling champion and slugged the young female thief in the face, slowing her down and leading her to drop the purse as she fled. [WFLA-TV (Tampa), 2-17-2016] [Braintree & Witham Times, 2-18-2016]

-- Didn't Think It Through: (1) Simon Chaplin, 62, thought he had cleverly evaded police near Hebron, England, recently (thus avoiding a speeding ticket) by employing a do-it-yourself, James Bond-style smokescreen device on his Peugeot sedan, facilitating a smoggy getaway. Initially, baffled police officers were forced to hang back, but of course as the haze broke, they merely followed the smoke trail up ahead and caught Chaplin (who was convicted in Swansea Crown Court in February). (2) The man who tried to vandalize a cafe in the Richmond suburb of Melbourne, Australia, in February, got away, but surveillance video showed that, in dousing the outside of the building with fire accelerant, he had also doused his own shoes and was spotted running off with his feet on fire. [Daily Mail (London), 2-16-2016] [9News.com (Melbourne), 2-18-2016]

Unclear on the Concept: A Singaporean army draftee caused a public stir in March (2011) when he was photographed by a visitor as he underwent physical training in army fatigues but with his maid following behind him carrying his backpack on her shoulders. (Army officials told reporters the draftee had since been "counsel(ed).") [BBC News, 4-5-2011]

In February, New York's highest court finally said "enough" to the seemingly endless delays on a multimillion-dollar judgment for negligence that occurred 23 years ago. Linda Nash had sued, among others, the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey for injuries she suffered when trapped in an underground parking garage during the World Trade Center terrorist act. (No, not the one in 2001, but the bombing eight years before that, which killed six and wounded more than 1,000). Nash was 49 that day and 72 now, and after winning a $5.4 million jury verdict in 2005, endured 10 more years of appeals. In its final, unsuccessful motion in the case, the Port Authority said it had spotted a technicality and that Nash should start over. [New York Post, 2-21-2016]

"Nostalgia," Gone Too Far: Retired engineer Harry Littlewood, 68, watching workers tear down outdated public housing in Stockport, England, recently, rushed over to ask the local Stockport Council about recovering a "souvenir" since the teardowns included his residence growing up. The council agreed, and Littlewood was awarded the toilet he had used as a boy. "I never thought I'd see it again," he mused. He said he would probably turn it into a planter. [Manchester Evening News, 2-1-2016]

-- Evangelicals Applaud Sexual Predator: The Jacksonville (Florida) City Council was addressing a proposed amendment to its Human Rights Ordinance (one that would specifically protect gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders) in January when Roy Bay, 56, stood during the comment period and insisted that those kinds of lifestyle protections are what led him on a 20-year history of molesting one little boy after another. Gasps in the audience turned into cheers, however, when he reported that he had abandoned his bad self after becoming a "born-again child of God," and realizing that it was not "acceptable" to assault kids even though he was raised in such an environment himself. (Conveniently, the crimes are not prosecutable because of the statute of limitations. Fact-checkers, including FloridaPolitics.com, are still investigating Bay's claims.) [Folio Weekly (Jacksonville), 1-20-2016]

-- Local governments in Taiwan's Southwest Coast National Scenic Area in Chiayi province recently put the finishing touches on a 55-foot-high "church" in the form of a shoe made from more than 300 glass panels (and costing the equivalent of about $680,000). According to a BBC News dispatch, no religious services will be held there; rather, the church will be a destination for weddings and feature other events tailored for glass-slipper-obsessed females. [BBC News, 1-15-2016]

-- Prosecutors in Spain finally filed charges this year against three women for a May 2014 protest that was apparently aimed at religious intolerance of homosexuality, and are asking that the charges against the women be labeled anti-Catholic "hate" crimes. One judge particularly noted the anti-Catholic props -- rosary beads, prayer lace, canonical hoods, and a 6-foot-high plastic vulva constructed to resemble the well-known representation of the Virgin Mary. In January, judges called police to court to help identify the women in videos of the protest. [Daily Mail (London), 2-4-2016]

Progressives' Anxiety Disorder: Several students at the Ivy League's Brown University complained (quoted in a February story in the student newspaper) that classroom work (ostensibly what Brown charges $50,000 a year in tuition for) was increasingly a burden, distracting them from their more important calling: organizing and protesting against various "injustices" on campus. Students were underperforming academically (and suffering health problems and anxiety issues) because, said the students, Brown still expects them to complete course requirements even though they are busy denouncing racist columns in the student newspaper and challenging the weakness of Brown's "diversity" policies (among other targets). [Washington Post, 2-23-2016] [Brown Daily Herald, 2-18-2016]

-- According to a former spy for the Soviet Union, dictator Josef Stalin so distrusted his Communist China counterpart Mao Zedong during the 1940s that when Mao visited the USSR, Soviet engineers arranged to capture his bowel movements so that Stalin's scientists could examine them chemically to form a psychological profile. Spy Igor Atamanenko found evidence that other world leaders received similar treatment. Among the indicators: High levels of the amino acid tryptophan signaled the person was calm and approachable, and lack of potassium portended nervousness and insomnia.) [BBC News, 1-28-2016]

-- Williams Lake, British Columbia, has the most violent crime per capita for its size (pop. 10,800) of any town in Canada, and in February the city council unanimously passed a dramatic action plan: to inject "high risk" criminals with "GPS tracking" devices. The program was immediately denounced by privacy advocates, but that challenge is almost beside the point -- since injectable GPS tracking does not even exist. (Councilors likely confused implantable microchips, which contain data but do not track, with GPS transponders, which track but only via sight-line contact with a satellite.) [CTV News (Vancouver), 2-25-2016]

-- The three young men charged so far in the Feb. 17 murder in a South Carolina bowling alley made their first post-crime courtroom appearances memorable ones. According to a WYFF-TV (Greenville, South Carolina) report, Albert Taylor, 22 (and labeled as the shooter by police), seemed indifferent to the charges, but questioned the judge about courtroom cameras, appearing preoccupied. As he was being ushered out, he turned to address the camera and barked, "What's up, y'all? You can follow me on Twitter, follow me on Instagram, Snapchat." [WYFF-TV, 2-19-2016]

-- Alex Smith, 38, asked a sheriff's deputy in Limestone County, Alabama, at 3 a.m. on Feb. 19 for a "courtesy ride" to a nearby Wal-Mart, and the deputy agreed, but following procedure, said he'd have to search Smith before letting him into the patrol car, and according to the subsequent arrest report, Smith, needing the ride, consented. The deputy then turned up a veritable drug supply store in Smith's pockets, his backpack and his duffel bags: drugs (meth, marijuana and black tar heroin), two syringes, a drug cooking spoon, two marijuana pipes, a meth smoking pipe, and a supply of baggies of the type frequently used for drugs. Smith was charged with drug possession and trafficking. [Al.com (Birmingham), 2-22-2016]

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen (who left the company early, and like Bill Gates, became known for his philanthropy, which has been directed toward conservation projects including coral reef restorations) is the owner of the 300-foot yacht whose anchor in January accidentally crushed 14,000 square feet (about 80 percent) of the Cayman Islands' precious West Bay coral reef. Harm to the islands' ecosystem, world-famous for its diversity, will not quickly be repaired, said officials. The MV Tatoosh's business in the area was not reported, but Allen was not aboard. Cayman Islands is a popular Caribbean vacation and diving spot (and, of course, tax haven). [The Guardian (London), 1-28-2016] [National Geographic, 1-16-2016]

Australian Neville Sharp brought his "A" game to a pub in the Darwin suburb of Humpty Doo in February and, in a Guinness World Record attempt, expelled a 110.6-decibel belch (which, if certified by Guinness book officials, beats the old record of 109.9 by a gentleman in the U.K.). Sharp gives all credit to his sister for teaching him, as a child, proper belching technique. [Australian Broadcasting Corp. News, 2-23-2016]

When Tattoos Aren't Nearly Enough: In some primitive cultures, beauty and status are displayed via large holes in the earlobe from which to hang heavy ornaments or to insert jewels or tokens, and BBC News reported in November (2011) that an "increasing" number of counterculture Westerners are getting their lobes opened far beyond routine piercing, usually by gradually stretching but sometimes with a hole-punch tool. The hard core are "gauge kings (or queens)," showing a "commitment" to the lifestyle by making holes up to 10mm (3/8 inch) wide. (Cosmetic surgeons told BBC News that they're already preparing procedures for the inevitable wave of regretted decisions.) [BBC News, 11-21-2011]

Longtime National Symphony cellist David Teie announced in November that his crowdfunding project was hugely successful, freeing him to produce an album of music meaningful to cats. (Cats, for example, relax in response to the earliest sound of their mother's purring, which Teie clocked at 23 harp notes a second.) Teie's work, according to an October Washington Post feature, includes examining waveforms of real-time purrs and creating an organ sound to mimic the opening and closing of a cat's vocal chords. His KickStarter pitch raised so much money that he might also try creating music for bored zoo elephants or stressed-out whales. In tests, cats responded well to Teie's music, according to a 2015 journal article (but with less curiosity at the Washington cat cafe Crumbs & Whiskers). [Washington Post, 10-18-2015, 11-29-2015]

-- Amazon.com has riled up Buddhist temples in Japan, according to a January Associated Press dispatch, by offering traveling monks rentable online to conduct funerals and other rituals. The monk would go to a home, grave or funeral home, at fees and upgrades ranging from the equivalent of $300 to about $8,500. (Many of Japan's 75,000 Buddhist temples are struggling financially and destined to close. Complained a spokesman for the Japan Buddhist Association, what Amazon is facilitating "is allowed in no other country in the world.") [Associated Press, 1-30-2016]

-- In February, Gawker.com introduced the semi-serious Lube Crude Index as a poignant indicator of how far the price of oil has fallen. Comparing the world price of a standard 42-gallon barrel of crude (about $31) with that of a 55-gallon barrel of Passion Natural Water-Based Lubricant (retailing as, when packaged in smaller quantities, a sexual aid) shows that "sex lube" is more valuable than crude oil by a factor of 28 -- a barrel's worth of the lube recently priced at $1,175 versus crude's barrel-adjusted $41. As recently as June 2014, the Lube Crude Index was near 1. (Gawker reported that only two actual barrels of Passion Natural could be found and that the price would likely rise further if one of them were sold.) [Gawker.com, 2-3-2016]

(1) Angel Rivera, 49, was arrested in December in Orlando, Florida, on allegations that he punched a child in the face because the boy was not getting dressed for church fast enough. (The boy was wearing an ankle brace, which slowed him down.) (2) Ryan Dailey, 28, was arrested in Las Cruces, New Mexico, in February on several charges after, police said, he beat his mother by pounding her with a Bible. His explanation, police said, was that when he asked her who her soul belonged to, she repeatedly declined to answer. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 12-21-2015] [Las Cruces Sun-News, 2-9-2016]

The much-maligned pigeon was recently found by researchers to be as skilled as humans at distinguishing between slides of benign versus malignant human breast tissue. Writing in the journal PLOS ONE, specialists from the University of Iowa and University of California, Davis lauded the birds' processing of color, contrast, brightness and image compression, marveling that pigeons see more wavelengths of light than humans, even though their brains are one-thousandth the size. (Birds are already known to distinguish "hostile" humans in celebrated dive-pecking incidents.) [CNN, 11-20-2015]

-- A near-certain robbery of the PNC Bank in Zebulon, North Carolina, on Jan. 28 was prevented, with employees treated to an almost-slapstick scene in which the bank manager kept the suspect outside by winning a tug-of-war for control of the front door. The manager had grabbed the door after noticing an armed, masked man approaching from the parking lot just after the bank opened. (The frustrated perp fled empty-handed, but was at large.) [WTVD-TV (Raleigh, N.C.), 1-29-2016]

-- Awkward Moments Ahead in Lockup: (1) Joel Sloan, 51, was booked into jail for DUI by a sheriff's deputy in Birmingham, Alabama, in February. Sloan was dressed head-to-toe as a clown. (No explanation was offered.) (2) Vaughn Tucker, 23, was booked into jail in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in February on drug charges. He was wearing a T-shirt with large lettering on the front: "I Would Cuddle You So Hard." [Al.com (Birmingham), 2-7-2016] [The Smoking Gun, 2-8-2016]

-- Didn't Think It Through: The robbers of the electronics store Compucell in Springfield, Massachusetts, in December came up empty, but are still at large. A man with a gun jumped the counter and demanded that the employee give him money from the locked cash register. The gunman moved to the back door to let in his accomplice, but that merely allowed the employee and two customers to run out the front door, and the accomplice fled, too, sensing that, with no one to unlock the register, the "robbery" was going nowhere. [The Republican (Springfield), 2-16-2016]

American hunters are so trophy-kill-obsessed that, in the decade ending in 2014 (according to Humane Society figures), they averaged nine imported carcasses a day among the "Big Five" African species (lions, elephants, leopards, rhinos and African buffalo) -- most of which require special U.S. and foreign permits, with "conservation" conditions. Some countries endanger their own dwindling herds just to sell the lucrative permits, and South Africa even offers 150 captive lions a year to make trophy kills easier. (Total hunting imports of all animal trophies averaged 345 a day, mostly from Canada and Mexico.) [National Geographic, 2-6-2016]

(1) Chandan Kumar Singh told BBC News in February that his recent lawsuit against the Hindu god Ram was provoked by Ram's mistreatment of his wife in spiritual lore. Said Singh, "(W)e cannot talk about respecting women in modern day India when we know that one of our most revered gods did not treat his own wife with respect." Singh thus wants a court to tell the god to acknowledge he was wrong. (2) After news reports of a male Siberian tiger being playful with a male goat (ordinarily, a tiger's meal) in a Russian safari park, lawyer Alexei Krestyanov pressured the local prosecutor in February to embargo further announcements, claiming that such coverage harmed children by provoking "interest in non-traditional sexual relations." [BBC News, 2-8-2016] [The Guardian (London), 2-5-2016]

Police in Austin, Texas, said in February they had received several complaints (KEYE-TV reported "dozens") from women about a man who approaches them in public genially, but then turns aggressive and tries to stomp their feet (in one case, telling the woman it was "normal" behavior for him). (The suspect apparently has only little in common with the Arkansas recidivist who holds the record for multiple appearances in News of the Weird -- who merely fondles and sucks women's toes, although without their consent and sometimes after forcefully grabbing the foot.) [KEYE-TV (Austin), 2-5-2016]

Arrested recently and awaiting trial for murder: Jerald Wayne Boozer-Brown Jr., Macomb Township, Michigan (February); Matthew Wayne Long, Hico, Texas (January); Joseph Wayne Goswick, Graham, North Carolina (January); John Wayne Strawser Jr., Belington, West Virginia (September); Jesse Wayne Gunderson, Wayne, Michigan (September); Curtis Wayne Wright, Bonita Springs, Florida (September); John Wayne Noonkester, Cottonwood, California (July). Indicted for murder: Derrick Wayne Gamble, Belton, Texas (December). Convicted of murder: Carl Wayne Wiley, Del Rio, Texas (February). Shot themselves to death while suspected by police of murder: Ricky Wayne Cook, Melbourne, Florida (February); Lloyd Wayne Franklin, Davidson County, North Carolina (October). [Boozer-Brown: The Oakland Press (Oakland, Mich.), 2-16-2016] [Long: Waco Tribune, 2-1-2016] [Goswick: WGHP-TV (High Point, N.C.), 1-21-2016] [Strawser: PennLive.com (Mechanicsburg, Pa.), 9-21-2015] [Gunderson: Detroit Free Press, 1-24-2016] [Wright: WFTX-TV (Fort Myers, Fla.), 2-19-2016] [Noonkester: Record Searchlight (Redding, Calif.), 7-8-2015] [Gamble: Waco Tribune, 12-16-2015] [Wiley: Breitbart Texas, 2-20-2016] [Cook: WESH-TV (Orlando), 2-2-2016] [Franklin: WGHP-TV (High Point, N.C.), 11-7-2015]

FUBAR: Retired U.S. Army Sergeant Major Rob Dickerson finally received his Purple Heart this summer (2011), four years after he was seriously wounded in a rocket attack in Iraq and two years after he began a back-and-forth paperwork battle with the Army to "prove" he was injured. Recently, the Army had apologized and mailed him the award, but it arrived C.O.D., leaving Dickerson to pay the $21 fee. (The Army subsequently reimbursed Dickerson, but Dickerson said he hasn't been able to cash the check, in that it was somehow made out to "Roy Dirksen.") [KELO-TV (Sioux Falls, S.D.), 8-4-2011]