A Saratoga Springs, New York, resort has begun accepting totally defeated husbands and wives for a relaxed weekend that includes divorce, bringing to America a concept already successful in six European cities. The Gideon Putnam Resort & Spa charges $5,000 for a couple to check in on a Friday, married, but leave Sunday officially single (complete with all legal niceties and various resort amenities, including, of course, separate rooms). Even though the couple must be fairly level-headed to accept this approach, the facility manager expressed concern that since the resort also books weddings, the "uncouplers" might inadvertently witness difficult scenes. (Gideon Putnam has hosted four divorces so far, but, said the European founder of the package service, "hundreds" of couples have used the services in Europe.) [New York Post, 2-10-2015]

-- Another Animal With a Worse Sex Life Than Yours: No organism has it tougher than the male South-East Asian coin spider, according to research reported by New Scientist in January. It is somehow driven to mate with a female up to four times larger who is almost as driven to eat the male as to mate. After insemination, the male impulsively fights off other males' attempts to disrupt the conception, and that means becoming a more nimble fighter, achieved, according to Matjaz Kuntner of the Slovenian Academy of the Arts and Sciences, by biting off its own genitals, since that organ comprises about one-tenth the spider's body weight. [New Scientist, 1-16-2015]

-- Because We Can: Scientists at the University of California, Irvine (with Australian partners) announced in January that they had figured out how to unboil a hen's egg. (After boiling, the egg's proteins become "tangled," but the scientists' device can untangle them, allowing the egg white to return to its previous state.) Actually, the researchers' paper promises dramatically reduced costs in several applications, from cancer treatments to food production, where similar, clean untanglings might take "thousands" of times longer. [UC Irvine press release, promoting publication in the ChemBioChem journal, 1-23-2015]

(1) The Knoxville (Tennessee) Police Department reminded motorists (via its Facebook page) that all vehicles need working headlights for night driving. Included was a recent department photo of the car of a Sweetwater, Tennessee, motorist who was ticketed twice the same evening with no headlights but only flashlights tied to his bumper with bungee cords. (2) A forlorn-appearing Anneliese Young, 82, was arrested at a CVS pharmacy in Augusta, Georgia, in February after store security allegedly caught her shoplifting a container of "Sexiest Fantasies" body spray that, according to the packaging, "provides a burst of sensuality ... as addictive and seductive as the woman who wears it," "sure to drive any man wild." [WATE-TV (Knoxville), 2-5-2015] [The Smoking Gun, 2-9-2015]

-- The Jeju Island Korean restaurant in Zhengzhou, China, staged a promotion last month to pick up lunch tabs for the 50 "most handsome" people to dine there every day. Judging was by a panel of cosmetic surgeons (who were partnering with the restaurant) and, as contestant-diners posed for photographs, they were evaluated on "quality of" eyes, noses, mouths and especially foreheads (better if "protruding"). [Daily Telegraph (London), 1-13-2015]

-- The owner of the Kingsland Vegetarian Restaurant in a suburb of Canberra, Australia, apologized in February for the cockroach infestation that contributed to a $16,000 fine, explaining that, for moral reasons, he could not bring himself to exterminate living things -- even cockroaches. (Less well-defended were Kingsland's toilet, grease and food-storage shortcomings.) [Brisbane Times, 2-1-2015]

Among the participants at this year's Davos, Switzerland, gathering of billionaires and important people was property developer Jeff Greene, 60, who owns mansions in New York, Malibu and Palm Springs, and whose Beverly Hills estate is on the market for around $195 million. Greene famously won big betting against overvalued sub-prime mortgages before the 2008 Great Recession, but, shortly after landing at Davos, he gave Bloomberg Business his take on the symptoms of current economic turmoil (that he had capitalized on for part of his wealth by exploiting people's desire for expensive houses they ultimately could not afford). "America's lifestyle expectations are far too high," Greene explained, "and need to be adjusted so we have less things and a smaller, better existence." [Daily Mail (London), 1-22-2015]

Sorry, Ladies, He's Taken: In yet another chilling episode of body modification, the otherwise handsome Henry Damon, 37, married father of two, appeared in January at the Caracas (Venezuela) International Tattoo Expo as Red Skull (archenemy of Captain America), who has somehow fascinated Damon for years. The exhibiting of his idolatry began with subdermal forehead implants (ultimately replacing his eyebrows with prominent ridges), followed by going all-in for Red Skull by allowing a medical school dropout to lop off what looks like half of his nose. (How his deep red color was achieved was not mentioned in news reports.) For the record, the "surgeon" called Damon "a physically and intellectually healthy person." [Daily Mail (London), 2-4-2015]

Swedish public broadcaster SVT, capitalizing on the country's supposedly liberal sexuality to promote an upcoming children's series on the human body, produced a one-minute cartoon featuring genitals singing and dancing. However, the SVT program director admitted in January that there was criticism -- not for salaciousness, but because the penis was portrayed with a moustache and the vagina with long eyelashes, which some critics said unfortunately "reinforced gender stereotypes." [Associated Press via WTOP Radio, 1-22-2015]

Mastering the Technology: (1) Donald Harrison, 22, wanted for assault in Ambridge, Pennsylvania, made police aware of his whereabouts when he posted a "selfie" on Facebook from a Greyhound bus with the notation, "It's Time to Leave Pa." He was picked up at a stop in nearby Youngstown, Ohio. (2) Police in Houston arrested Dorian Walker-Gaines, 20, and Dillian Thompson, 22, after they posted selfies on Facebook of themselves enjoying a handful of $100 bills -- photos they took on an iPad they had stolen on Jan. 8 and whose photos automatically uploaded to the victim's iCloud account. (Incidentally, Walker-Gaines has, tattooed across his chest, "BRILLIANT.") [Associated Press via WKBN-TV (Youngstown)), 2-10-2015] [The Smoking Gun, 1-22-2015]

Additional details reported by the Toronto Sun in January on an August 2014 News of the Weird item reveal that the motorist who hit three bicycling teenagers in Innisfil, Ontario, in 2012 (killing one, putting another in a wheelchair) is suing the victims for $1.35 million for "emotional trauma" the incident caused her (though she was not otherwise injured) because they "were incompetent bicyclists" and "did not apply their brakes properly." The boys wore reflective jackets and had no alcohol in their systems, but the driver, Sharlene Simon, admitted to at least one drink and to speeding. (On the other hand, her husband, who was following in another car, is a police officer, and Simon was neither charged nor breath-tested.) [Toronto Sun, 1-10-2015]

(1) A mummified monk in Mongolia became the latest religious figure whose followers insist he is not dead but living in a meditative trance. Dr. Barry Kerzin, among whose patients is the Dalai Lama, called the state "tukdam." Scientists attributed the monk's preserved condition to Mongolia's cold weather. (2) After consulting its substantial research base, The Smoking Gun website reported that Steven Anderson's arrest in Fargo, North Dakota, in January was only the third time that someone operating a Zamboni had been charged with DUI. Anderson, 27, was arrested while (erratically) resurfacing the ice between periods of a girls' high school hockey game. [BBC News, 2-4-2015] [The Smoking Gun, 2-1-2015]

Oklahoma inmate Eric Torpy was reported (in May 2011) as having second thoughts while only six years into his 33-year sentence for armed robbery. According to an Associated Press dispatch, he might especially regret the years 2035 to 2038. His original sentence was 30 years, but he challenged the judge that if he was "going down," it would be in "Larry Bird's jersey" -- the basketball player's number "33." Judge Ray Elliott then accommodated Torpy -- 33 years, not 30. Said Torpy to the reporter, "I'm pretty sure (Bird) thinks I'm an idiot." [Boston Globe-AP, 5-13-2011]

Thanks This Week to Mary Kearney, Dave Shepardson, Chris Schulman, Craig Bossler, Patty Lively, and Wayne Halsa, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

It turns out that a person having a heart attack is usually safer to be in an ambulance headed to a hospital than to already be a patient in a hospital, according to a study by University of North Carolina researchers. It takes longer, on average, for non-ER hospital staff to comply with hospital protocols in ordering and evaluating tests (nearly three hours, according to the study) than it does for ER (and ambulance) staff, who treat every case of cardiac symptoms as life-threatening. Overall, according to a February Wall Street Journal report, the study found the mortality rate for heart-attack victims treated in emergency rooms is 4 percent, compared to 40 percent for patients already admitted for other reasons and then suffering heart attacks. [Wall Street Journal, 2-3-2015]

-- Uh-Oh: The man hospitalized in fair condition in January after being rammed from behind by a car while on his bicycle happened to be Darryl Isaacs, 50, one of the most ubiquitously advertising personal-injury lawyers in Louisville, Kentucky. Isaacs calls himself the "Heavy Hitter" and the "Kentucky Hammer" for his aggressiveness on behalf of, among other clients, victims of traffic collisions. The (soon-to-be-poorer) driver told police the sun got in his eyes. [Associated Press via WKYT-TV (Lexington), 1-27-2015]

-- Elephants in Love: (1) India TV reported in January that a wild male elephant from an adjoining sanctuary had broken into the Nandan Kanan zoo in Odisha, wildly besotted with a female, Heera. The male cast aside two other females trying to protect Heera and mated with her. The male lingered overnight until zookeepers could shoo him away. (2) A frisky male elephant crushed four cars in 10 days in January at Thailand's Khao Yai National Park -- the result, said a park veterinarian, of the stress of the mating season. (Only the last of the four cars was occupied, but no injuries were serious.) [India TV News, 1-1-2015] [The Nation (Bangkok) via 9News (Sydney), 1-12-2015]

-- While nearly all Americans enjoy low gasoline prices, residents of sea-locked Alaskan towns (Barrow, Kotzebue, Nome, Ketchikan) have continued to pay their same hefty prices ($7 a gallon, according to one January report on Alaska Dispatch News). Though the price in Anchorage and Fairbanks resembles that in the rest of America, unconnected towns can be supplied only during a four-month breather from icy sea conditions and thus received their final winter shipments last summer. The price the supplier was forced to pay then dictates pump prices until around May or June. [Alaska Dispatch News, 1-2-2015]

In January, "Captain Mercedes," a registered user of the Reddit.com social media site, announced he had compiled a data file cataloguing every bowel movement he had in 2014 and was offering the file to other users to design hypotheses and visual representations of the data in ways that might improve his relationship with his alimentary canal. According to the data-analysis website FiveThirtyEight.com, the "researcher" used the standard "Bristol stool scale" (seven categories of excreta, by shape and consistency) "and produced interesting hypotheses in the ensuing Reddit conversation." [FiveThirtyEight.com, 1-25-2015] [Reddit.com/user/captainmercedes]

-- (1) A January examination of New York City records through NYC Open Data found that the five most common first names of taxicab drivers licensed by the city are five variations in the spelling of the name "Mohammed." (2) The last McDonald's burger to be sold in Iceland before the chain abandoned the country in 2009 has been on open display at the National Museum of Iceland and was recently moved to the Bus Hostel in Reykjavik, "still in good condition," according to the hostel manager. "Some people have even stolen some of the fries." [Daily Mail (London), 1-14-2015] [Iceland Review, 1-28-2015]

-- Harvard University medical researcher Mark Shrime documented recently how easily made-up research can wind up in reputable-sounding academic journals -- by submitting an article composed by random-generating text software, supposedly about "the surgical and neoplastic role of cacao extract in breakfast cereals" (and authored by "Pinkerton A. LeBrain and Orson Welles"). Of 37 journals, 17 quickly accepted it, some feigning actually having read it, with the only catch being that Shrime would have to pay a standard $500 fee for publication. Shrime warned that some of the journals have titles dangerously close to highly respected journals and cautions journalist (and reader) skepticism. [Fast Company, 1-27-2015]

Ms. Meng Wang filed a lawsuit recently in New York City against Gildan Outerwear over her disappointment with Kushyfoot Shaping Tights. In television ads, Wang wrote, a young model sashays down a city street with her eyes dreamily closed and "moans and utters highly sexually charged phrases" "including 'That's the spot' and 'so good' ... passersby (stop) in their tracks to look at her with mouths agape." Wang said the ad clearly implies that the tights produce an orgasmic sensation of some sort, wrote Gothamist.com, but that she, herself, has come up empty. [Gothamist.com, 1-14-2015]

(1) Margaretta Evans, 63, finally reported her missing son to the Myrtle Beach (South Carolina) Police Department in January. She said Jason Callahan, who would be 38, had been missing since "early June of 1995" when he left home to follow the Grateful Dead on tour in California and Illinois. (2) Riccardo Pacifici, described as the head of Rome's Jewish community, was accidentally trapped while visiting the Auschwitz prison death camp in January on Holocaust Remembrance Day, after staff had departed. When Pacifici and four associates crawled out through a window, security officers spotted them, provoking the New York magazine headline, "Polish Police Detained a Jewish Leader Trying to Escape Auschwitz." [The Smoking Gun, 1-14-2015] [New York, 1-28-2015]

-- Two men remain at large after stealing an ATM from Casino Calgary in Calgary, Alberta, in January. They had smashed through glass front doors, unbolted the machine, put it on a dolly and rolled it to a waiting car (though it briefly toppled over onto one of the culprits). Managers told police the ATM was empty, disabled and scheduled to be moved to another location later that day. A Calgary police officer expressed bemusement at the city's recent ATM smash-and-grab epidemic, since the machines are hard to unbolt, hard to open and emptied several times a day. "It's a very ineffective way to make a living." [National Post, 1-29-2015]

-- Unwise Robbery Target: Police in Champaign, Illinois, charged Clayton Dial, 23, with robbery on New Year's night, for carrying a pellet gun into the Kamakura Japanese restaurant and demanding money from the hostess. However, he fled quickly when chef Tetsuji Miwa walked over, holding his large sushi knife. "He saw the blade," Miwa said later, and "started running." (Miwa and two co-workers gave chase and held him for police.) [News-Gazette (Champaign), 1-1-2015]

One of the legendary American lawsuit successes is the 1970 award of $50,000 to Gloria Sykes, whose brain injury on a San Francisco cable car left the previously modest Midwestern woman with an unrestrained libido. News of the Weird reported a similar such case, from London, in December 2006. Now, in January 2015, the British Columbia Supreme Court awarded Alissa Afonina $1.5 million for her auto-accident brain injury. She was apparently a demure, high-achieving student, but following the 2008 collision, she had no impulse control, become "isolated," had "outbursts," made "inappropriate sexual comments" -- and was able to earn a living only as a dominatrix. (Alfonina's mother, also injured in the accident, was awarded $940,000.) [National Post, 1-29-2015]

"My ultimate dream is to be buried in a deep ocean close to where penguins live," explained the former Alfred David, 79, otherwise known in his native Belgium as "Monsieur Pingouin" (Mr. Penguin), so named because a 1968 auto accident left him with a waddle in his walk that he decided to embrace with gusto. (His wife abandoned the marriage when he made the name change official; being "Mrs. Penguin" was not what she had signed up for.) Mr. Pingouin started a penguin-item museum that ultimately totaled 3,500 items, and he created a hooded, full-body black-and-white penguin outfit that, according to a September (2011) Reuters dispatch, he wears daily in his waddles around his Brussels neighborhood of Schaerbeek. [Reuters, 9-29-2011]

Thanks This Week to Gerald Sacks and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

A miles-long traffic jam on Interstate 20 near Tuscaloosa, Alabama, on Jan. 25 and on into the next morning was caused by an 18-wheeler that jackknifed and overturned when the 57-year-old driver took his hands off the wheel to pull out a tooth with his fingers. Efforts to haul the truck from the roadside required an hours-long detour of traffic off of the interstate. (The driver's mission was successful; he had the tooth in his pocket when rescued.) [AL.com, 1-30-2015]

-- Luis Moreno Jr., 26, was pursued by police in Fort Lee, New Jersey, after he entered the carpool lane approaching the George Washington Bridge in January because he appeared to be alone in his SUV. After ignoring several signals to pull over, he finally stopped and, when informed of his offense, told the officer, "I have two passengers in the back" and rolled down a window to show them (in the vehicle's third row), apparently satisfying the officer. However, as Moreno pulled away, one passenger began screaming and banging on the back door. Moreno sped off with his hostages, but was subsequently stopped again and charged with kidnapping and criminal restraint (but no HOV violation!). [New York Daily News, 1-25-2015]

-- Mike Montemayor, until recently a county commissioner in Laredo, Texas, pleaded guilty to bribery charges in June and had argued in January 2015 that he should get a light sentence because, after all, he had subsequently helped FBI agents in a sting against three other officials accused of bribery. However, the prosecutor immediately countered that Montemayor had in fact tried to steal the recording devices and Apple computer the FBI had furnished him to do the undercover work. (He got six years in prison and a $109,000 fine.) [Laredo Morning Times, 1-27-2015]

-- Lame: (1) Briton Roberto Collins, 51, was sentenced to 13 months in jail by Manchester Crown Court in January after being caught standing on a ladies' room toilet and peering into the next stall. He told police he stood up only to better scratch an itch and was in the ladies' room only because, wearing faulty glasses, he thought it was the men's room. (2) Scotsman Dean Gilmartin, 25, actually persuaded a judge at Perth Sheriff Court in January of his "innocence" -- that he might not have been masturbating at the front window of his home. He admitted he was nude (changing clothes), but pointed out that he plays musical instruments and was probably just picking out tunes on his ukulele (rather than "holding" his genitals and moving "side to side," as a neighbor had charged). [Manchester Evening News, 1-26-2015] [STV (Glasgow), 1-13-2015]

-- Explanation for Child-Porn Possession Never Before Heard: Poet Les Merton, 70, denied in January that he had ever abused children, but had a more difficult time explaining why a child-porn website had his credit card information. Merton holds the appointed title of Cornish bard in Cornwall, England, and is the author of the Official Encyclopedia of the Cornish Pasty -- and explained in Truro Crown Court that he must have mindlessly entered his credit card information while researching the 19th-century Russian figure Rasputin. [BBC News, 1-15-2015]

"Entomologists are not like other people," Wired.com reported in January, revealing that two of them had "proudly" issued "birth" announcements for the "Human bot fly" whose larvae one had let gestate beneath his skin for two months. Scientist Piotr Naskrecki and photographer Gil Wizen had been inadvertently bitten while on assignment in Belize and decided the egg-laying "attack" on a human was an important opportunity for research. After all, Naskrecki said, he had never seen an adult bot fly "crawl out" of its host. [Wired.com, 1-13-2015] [TheSmallerMajority.com, 1-9-2015]

-- Last year in Middle East school markets, the worldwide publishing giant HarperCollins was selling a popular atlas whose maps pretended there was no such country as Israel. The space that is Israel was merged into Jordan, Syria and Gaza. The company said it was merely honoring "local preferences" of potential atlas purchasers, whom HarperCollins presumed were Arabs wishing that Israel did not exist. (In January 2015, the company finally changed course, publicly "regretted" its decision and recalled all existing stock.) [Washington Post, 1-2-2015]

-- Montanan John Abarr told the Great Falls Tribune in November that his Rocky Mountain Knights of the Ku Klux Klan opposes the "new world order" pushing a "one government" system on the planet -- but also stands against discrimination based on race, religion or sexual orientation. "White supremacy is the old Klan," he said. "This is the new Klan" (except that, he said, robes and hoods will still be required, along with "secret rituals"). [Great Falls Tribune, 11-3-2014]

-- The New Normal: In January, Mittens the kitten and Charcoal the Chihuahua mix made news as hermaphrodites whose veterinarians had recommended which gender the since-adopted strays should retain. Mittens, of the town of Heart's Desire, Newfoundland, was scheduled for "gender assignment" surgery to become solely male, and Charcoal, of Boise, Idaho, is recovering from mid-January surgery to leave her exclusively female. News reports did not disclose why "male" was chosen for Mittens, but the doctor said correcting Charcoal's pre-surgery problem, urination, would be less stressful as a female. [CBC News, 1-21-2015] [KIVI-TV (Nampa, Id.), 1-20-2015]

The Supreme Court of Canada turned down Joel Ifergan's appeal in January, leaving his winning-number lottery ticket from 2008 worthless. He had bought two tickets seconds before the 9 p.m. deadline on May 23 of that year, and the tickets had started to print on the store's machine, but only the first one carried that day's date. By the time the second one -- with winning numbers for the $27 million jackpot -- had gone through the lottery's central computer system and back to the store's printer, the program had already kicked over to the following day and to the next week's drawing. [Toronto Sun, 1-29-2015]

(1) Police in Seville, Spain, reported in November that a 23-year-old medical student visiting from Poland accidentally fell to her death at the famous Puente de Triana bridge when she maneuvered herself into position on a ledge to take a "selfie." It was the third "selfie" death on the Iberian peninsula in five months; in August a tourist couple (both also from Poland) fell to their deaths while posing for their photo at Cabo de Roca, Portugal. (2) In January, a tourist visiting the Spanish island of Ibiza with her boyfriend jumped up joyously as he proposed marriage to her, lost her balance and fell 65 feet off a cliff to her death. [Daily Mail (London), 11-5-2014] [Daily Mail (London), 1-30-2015]

Ultra-Expensive Trysts: The ones reported previously in News of the Weird involved celebrities ultimately nailed for high-ticket child support payments based on a single encounter (e.g., tennis star Boris Becker, who admitted conceiving a child in a restaurant closet rendezvous). British tourist Peter Cousins, 55, is now dealing with a medical bill of $250,000 after deciding that the middle of a Nevada desert was a good place to have sex -- which provoked a heart attack, leading to emergency rescue and a five-day hospital stay (and, eventually, breakup with his then-girlfriend). [Daily Mail (London), 1-19-2015]

Urban Legend Come to Life: Too-good-to-be-true stories have circulated for years about men who accidentally fell, posterior first, onto compressed-air nozzles and "self-inflated," to resemble "dough boys," usually with fatal results. However, in May (2011) in Opotiki, New Zealand, trucker Steven McCormack found himself in similar circumstances, and had it not been for quick-thinking colleagues who pulled him away, he would have been killed -- not as a "dough boy" but as the air, puncturing his anal cavity, began separating his body's tissue from muscle. McCormack was hospitalized in severe pain, but the air gradually seeped from his body (according to a doctor, in the way air "usually" seeps from a body). [BBC News, 5-25-2011]

Thanks This Week to Gerald Sacks and Doug Brickett and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.