Amanda Collins, 28, took "beauty pageant mom" to the next level (down) earlier this year when she entered her daughter Luna in Britain's UK Princess and Prince International -- based entirely on Luna's ultrasound scan at age 20 weeks. Said Collins, "As soon as I saw her image on the screen ... I knew she was a stunner." Contest officials had accepted the scan application, and six weeks after birth, Luna was named runner-up in the Princess and Prince, and on top of that, four weeks later, runner-up in Miss Dreams UK. "All she has to do," said Collins, "is lie in my arms and smile as I stroll down the catwalk." [Daily Mail (London), 10-26-2014]

-- In September, at the annual 10-day Phuket Vegetarian Festival in Thailand (ostensibly promoting abstinence from eating meat), dozens of men pierced and sliced their mouths, cheeks and arms in religious devotion in a spectacle which, though blood-drenched, was supposedly free of pain (and subsequent scars) because the fanatics were in God-imposed trances. The display supposedly brings "good health, peace of mind and spiritual cleansing," and includes walking on hot coals and climbing blade-embedded ladders (both barefoot, of course), all to the accompaniment of fireworks and the ear-shattering pounding of drums. [Huffington Post UK, 9-29-2014]

-- Brad Culpepper played defensive tackle for nine NFL seasons and, not surprisingly, applied for disability when he retired, since his medical folder listed 14 MRIs, head and knee trauma and neurological and vision problems -- which resulted in doctors declaring him "89 percent" disabled and the Fairmont Premier insurance company giving him a $175,000 settlement. Fairmont sued recently to get its money back, claiming that Culpepper is, and was, "exquisitely fit," as evidenced by a September 2013 Tampa Bay Times feature on his gym workouts, and in his having earned a martial-arts Black Belt, and in his participation for 14 days in the grueling TV series "Survivor: Blood vs. Water" in 2013. [Tampa Bay Times, 9-17-2014, 9-19-2013]

-- Angry taxpayers and retail customers sometimes protest their debt by paying the bill with containers of coins (especially pennies), but what if a company did that to a customer? A court had ruled that Adriana's Insurance Services in Rancho Cucamonga, California, had unjustifiably ejected (and assaulted) 74-year-old Andres Carrasco from its office when he complained about a canceled policy, and ordered Adriana's to pay him about $21,000. Consequently, in August, the still-irritated company dropped off at least 16 buckets full of coins at the customer's lawyer's office. [Los Angeles Times, 8-6-2014]

-- Several News of the Weird stories mentioned Body Dysmorphic Disorder sufferers who sought the ultimate treatment: amputation of healthy body parts on irrationally aesthetic grounds, led by castration-desiring men. Now, 15-year-old Danielle Bradshaw of Tameside, England, also wants a useful leg amputated -- but not irrationally. Her "developmental dysplasia" caused the amputation of her useless right leg, but the resultant stress on the left one has weakened it, and besides, having taken up competitive running, she wants Oscar Pistorius-style blades instead of her current prosthesis, which slows her down. However, no hospital has yet agreed to perform the surgery, considering the leg's continued functionality and Bradshaw's young age. [Daily Mail (London), 9-18-2014]

-- (1) News of the Weird's stuck-in-chimney stories usually involve burglaries gone wrong, but when Genoveva Nunez-Figueroa, 30, was rescued by firefighters in a Thousand Oaks, California, chimney in October, it appeared only that she was unwantedly trying to visit an ex-boyfriend. (The police report diplomatically had her intent as "unclear.") (2) In August, John Lind, 34, became the most recent frustrated admirer so infatuated with a co-worker that he was moved to ejaculate multiple times on her desk and into her coffee cup. He said he wanted her to "notice" him. [KTLA-TV (Los Angeles), 10-19- 2014] [WCCO-TV (Minneapolis), 9-3-2014]

-- The most recent "segregated sidewalks" dispute in a community with a large, strict Orthodox Jewish population occurred in September in the English town of Stamford Hill, when Haredi Jews, trying to remove temptations, placed sidewalk signs (for an upcoming parade) reading, in English and Hebrew, "Women should please walk along this side of the road only" (since sect members are forbidden even to brush against people of the opposite sex except for close relatives). The Hackney council ordered the signs removed because befuddled, sometimes outraged, non-Haredis complained. [London Evening Standard, 9-19-2014]

Florida is well-known not just for its "stand your ground" defense to the use of deadly force, but to the pro-gun interpretation given it by some judges and juries. On the other extreme, however, the legislature has enacted an unusually severe penalty for any "aggravated assault" that includes gunfire -- a "mandatory minimum" of 20 years in prison. Lee Wollard, now 59, faces a 2028 release date because he fired a warning shot into the wall of his home in 2006 to scare off his 16-year-old daughter's boyfriend, who was threatening the girl. Judge Donald Jacobsen said in court that he disagreed with his own sentence, but that his oath required him to impose it. (In a similar 2012 News of the Weird Florida domestic violence "warning shot" case, Marissa Alexander, 31, remains in prison with a release date of 2032.) [CBS News, 10-5-2014]

-- Though Americans seem sensitive to the issue of government's use of "science" in policy-making, some agencies in Iceland believe it irrelevant (as News of the Weird mentioned in a 2009 item in which Alcoa was required to prove it was protecting Iceland's underground "hidden people" before it was permitted to build a smelting plant). In September 2014, the municipal government of Fljotsdalsherad accepted its own official "truth" commission's findings that the legendary Icelandic sea monster Lagarfljotsormur actually exists. (The monster, about 100 yards long, has been seen slithering as recently as 2012. Government critics accused the council of pandering for tourism business.)

-- In the most recent incident in which a driver actually ran over himself, a man in Aurora, Colorado, suffered life-threatening injuries on October 26 when, as he backed out of his driveway, his front driver's side tire ran over his head. He had jumped out the door to avoid a lit cigarette that had fallen into his jacket, and as he fell, he landed underneath the driver's door as the van continued slowly in reverse.

-- News of the Weird first mentioned the breakthrough treatment of "fecal transplants" in 2000 (to remedy the brutal diarrhea caused by Clostridium difficile infections) -- in which large-intestine bacteria of a healthier relative is delivered to the patient's gut -- so that healthy bacteria kill off the germs causing the diarrhea. However, the procedure is awkward and inconvenient and requires a colonoscopy to deliver. Recently, researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital tried an alternative: placing healthy transplant poop into 30 large, stomach-acid-resistant capsules, to be ingested by mouth over two days. The regimen worked remarkably well for 14 of 20 patients, and for four of the remaining six on a second try. [NPR, 10-11-2014]

-- Sisters Martine and Louise Fokkens, 71, have finally retired as prostitutes in Amsterdam after 50-year careers. ("Fokkens" is their "stage" name, supposedly translated as "old whores" in Dutch.) Louise has not worked since 2010 because of arthritis, but appeared with Martine in a 2012 documentary and in October 2014 reminisced for the Jewish news agency JTA. The industry changed, anyway, Louise said. Amsterdam's "working girls" are now all foreign and young, and the clients are tourists instead of locals. Back then, she said, "Our life in the business (was) a source of pride." [JTA (Jewish Telegraphic Agency) (New York), 10-8-2014]

(1) Ashley Tull, 30, was arrested in Selbyville, Delaware, in October after her 4-year-old daughter showed up at Hickory Tree Child Care Center with more than 200 baggies of heroin in her backpack, innocently sharing them with classmates. (2) Chula Vista, California, police officers in August rescued a woman and her adult daughter, who had screamed to 911 that they were trapped in the mother's bedroom, unable to leave because her house cat had turned bad and was "guarding" the door. (Officers repeatedly called "Cuppy" by name, softly, until he finally walked away.) [WCAU-TV (Philadelphia), 10-7-2014] [KGTV (San Diego), 8-12-2014]

Thanks This Week to Donovan Weimar, Shannon Russ, Steven Lobejko, Jim Peterson, David Walker and Perry Levin, and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisers.

Julian Assange, the WikiLeaks publisher of state secrets who remains holed up in the embassy of Ecuador in London, has signed on with an Icelandic licensing agent to sell Assange-branded high-end clothing, shoes and various household goods in India and much of Europe, and is negotiating to put his logo on apparel in Japan and the U.S. The agent told The New York Times in October that "WikiLeaks" and "Assange" "can be as big as Coca-Cola." A 46-page book sets out licensing standards (e.g., no tacky slogans, such as "We Steal Secrets") and includes the one approved Assange portrait (an "idealized line drawing" of him "gazing soulfully into what is presumably a better future," wrote the Times). [New York Times, 10-23-2014]

-- A Practical Use for Trigonometry: When a stampede killed pigs and induced sows' abortions on a farm near York, England, two years ago, the operator of a noisy hot-air balloon denied responsibility, referring to a court order keeping balloons 500 meters away. Using GPS coordinates and the location of dead pigs, a mathematics professor at York University (employing trigonometry, he said) proved that the balloon could not have been more than 300 meters away. After the professor "showed his work" on the problem, the balloon's insurer upped the settlement to almost four times its initial offer. [The Northern Echo (Weybridge, England), 10-13-2014]

-- Lucky Dog Retreat Rescue in Indianapolis reported in October that, even after many heroic saves, they had never heard of a dog like Adam, who is apparently allergic to humans. Following a blood test to determine why he remained so sickly despite therapies, a doctor reported that Adam is allergic to human dander, and researchers told WRTV that a special serum was being prepared. [WRTV (Indianapolis), 10-14-2014]

Britain's The Guardian reported in October that repairing the "fashion" holes in earlobes is one of the fastest-growing cosmetic procedures in the U.K., as millennial generation radicals tire of their half- to 3/4-inch, see-through lobes. Doctors charge up to $3,000 to remove the entire area around the hole (originally created by stretching the tissue) and connect the healthy parts back so they fuse together. (A Hawaiian man, not currently a patient, supposedly has the largest ear hole, nearly 4 inches in diameter.) [The Guardian, 10-18-2014]

-- Plausible: (1) George Byrd IV was charged in September in Middletown, Pennsylvania, with shooting a gun into an occupied structure when he fired a round that accidentally broke a neighbor's window. Byrd told police that he fired because it was the only way he knew to "unload" the gun. (2) Police in Bayonne, France, were contemplating charges in October against Kappa Clinic anesthetist Helga Wauters, 45, after a patient died from an improperly placed breathing tube. Wauters, appearing inebriated, said she requires vodka so that she doesn't "shake" when she works. (3) Lisa Roche, 41, was arrested in Jackson County, Mississippi, in October allegedly burglarizing students' cars at East Central High School. She told police she was only searching out "members of ISIS." [Bucks County Courier Times, 9-27-2014] [The Local (Paris), 10-14-2014] [Sun Herald (Biloxi, Miss.), 10-3-2014]

-- "Too Stupid": When U.K. newspaper executive Rebekah Brooks was arrested in 2011 in the notorious "News of the World" phone-hacking case, so was her husband. Charles Brooks was ultimately acquitted after convincing a jury that he is "too stupid" to have been part of such a complicated case. However, in October 2014, after Charles petitioned under British acquittal rules to have his legal fees reimbursed, Judge John Saunders turned him down -- citing Charles' admitted stupidity in causing prosecutors to suspect him in the first place. (As Rebekah was being arrested, Charles aroused suspicion by clumsily trying to hide his pornography collection in a parking garage.) [New York Times, 10-16-2014]

A man named John Thornton was arrested in October after, for some reason, grabbing a mop from an employee at the Double Tree Hotel in Bristol, Connecticut, and (according to the police report) "aggressive(ly)" mopping the floor in a threatening manner, backing the employee into a corner and mopping over her shoes. [Hartford Courant, 10-14-2014]

-- Ernest Angley, 93, is the latest televangelist to see his empire challenged -- following his July denial (from the pulpit of his Grace Cathedral in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio) that he is homosexual and that he inappropriately touched some parishioners, as they have claimed. However, Angley freely revealed an intense interest in vasectomies -- that he had long encouraged his flock not to bring offspring into this troubled world. Of young men, Angley said, "Sure, I'd have them uncover themselves (during vasectomy counseling), but I did not handle them at all. ... I would look at them, their privates...." A once-prominent Angley insider said the "prophet" "doesn't want people to have kids because it would take their time and money away from (the church)." [Akron Beacon Journal, 10-15-2014]

-- He Works in Strange Ways: (1) A 34-year-old mother of two, walking in Chicago, was killed in September when a stone gargoyle fell from the historic Second Presbyterian Church and hit her on the head. (2) Two women survived their car's being crushed by a 100-pound boulder as they drove on a parkway in Corner Brook, Newfoundland, in September, and credited the Lord. "God was with the both of us," one said. (According to authorities, the boulder came loose from a cliff after recent heavy rains.) [DNAInfo (Chicago), 9-4-2014] [Canadian Broadcasting Corp. News, 9-24-2014]

-- Owen Reese, 22, was arrested in October in Sparta, Wisconsin, for reckless endangerment when he answered a knock on his door from fundraising Cub Scouts by swinging a sword wildly. Reese told police that he "always" answers the door with his sword -- to protect himself "against religious people." [The Smoking Gun, 10-3-2014]

South Carolina is one of at least 20 states to have enacted "stand your ground" defenses for use of deadly force, but prosecutors in Charleston are refusing to recognize it in one logical category -- "standing your ground" in the home against life-threatening assaults by one's spouse. The legislative history of the South Carolina law, and a recent state Supreme Court decision, show (said a prosecutor) that it was to be used only against intruders and not against people with a right to be there, even to ward off a vicious assault by, for example, a husband against a wife. [Post and Courier (Charleston), 10-12-2014]

(1) It's just a parody, said the authors of the "Hipster Hitler" comic book (depicting Der Fuhrer wearing dark-rimmed eyeglasses and playing Pac-Man), but a U.K. organization still threatened in September to shred all copies if booksellers continued to stock it. (2) A spokesman for the Swiss retail firm Migros said he had no idea why Hitler's face appeared recently on a batch of the company's restaurant coffee-creamer pods (and said a recall had been ordered). (3) A restaurant manager in New Taipei City, Taiwan, apologized in August for naming a dish "Long Live the Nazis," claiming she had no idea "Nazi" was so controversial. (4) The chief official of a hamlet 70 miles south of Paris told Agence France-Presse in August that there was no reason to change the name it has used since the 11th century: "La Mort aux Juifs" ("Death to Jews"). (However, in May a village in Spain finally changed its name from "Castrillo Matajudios" ("Camp Kill Jews"). [Daily Mail (London), 9-20-2014] [New York Times, 10-22-2014] [Wall Street Journal, 8-19-2014] [Agence France-Presse via Yahoo News, 8-12-2014]

Lack of Foresight: (1) Jonathan Warrenfeltz, 24, and a buddy were charged with robbing five sunbathers in Dania Beach, Florida, at gunpoint in October. Police quickly picked up the two based on a lookout for the only man around with the word "Misunderstood" tattooed in large letters across his forehead (as Warrenfeltz had). (2) Brandon Aaron, 27, charged with statutory rape of a 15-year-old girl in Panama, Oklahoma, in October, initially denied having sex, but changed his story when the girl remembered that her attacker had the name of an ex-girlfriend tattooed on his penis (as Aaron had). [South Florida Sun-Sentinel, 10-9-2014] [Tulsa World, 10-3-2014]

Thanks This Week to Stan Kaplan, Lynne Morris, and Gerald Sacks, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

The Osiligi Maasai Warrior choir, from Kenya, in ornate, mystifying native costumes and uncalled-for headdresses, happened to be touring the U.K. this fall, coinciding with the recent Paris Fashion Week in which the most celebrated designers from the "developed" world exhibited their wares, which often seemed as excessive as the Maasais'. Examples: Rei Kawakubo's "Blood and Roses," a red KKK-type swaddling robe with face-obscuring, pointy hood. Sarah Burton's skirt of oversized petals, accessorized with skull cap and chin strap. Junya Watanabe's dress with huge plastic puff sleeves of red and blue -- and vinyl see-through helmet. Julie de Libran's gown with earmuff-like chest coverings. The week ended with a street march of "Chanel girls" (most, Caucasian) dressed as garishly as the African Maasais. (Bonus: Some designers delightfully offered explanations of their often-inexplicable works.) [New York Times, 10-1-2014; Washington Post, 10-1-2014; CNN, 10-3-2014]

-- Oops: The Rural Municipality of Hanover, Manitoba, has prohibited alcohol sales for more than a century -- or at least that's what everyone in the community believed as recently as 2006 when the last attempt was made to repeal the ban (and failed by 30 votes). However, town officials finally decided recently to research the prohibition (examining records back to 1880) and in July revealed, astonishingly, that no city bylaw exists making the town dry. At least one restaurateur is expected to start serving booze soon. [Canadian Press via National Post, 7-24-2014]

-- In August, Katja Kipping, the leader of Germany's largest opposition party (the liberal Die Linke), proposed to grant all welfare families a cash voucher of the equivalent of about $640 in order to allow each a summer vacation. "For me," she said, "the holidays of my childhood are among the most beautiful memories," and she is saddened that "3 million children this summer cannot experience what a holiday means." [Daily Telegraph (London), 8-11-2014]

-- In October in Gresham, Oregon, a 21-year-old man openly carrying a handgun he had just bought was robbed, at gunpoint, the same day. According to the police report, the robber apparently thought the victim's gun was nicer than his own: "I like your gun. Give it to me." [KPTV (Portland), 10-7-2014]

-- New World Order: In September, Dr. Sean Perry of the Marathon (Florida) Veterinary Hospital saved the life of Buttercup, an orange tabby who needed blood -- by giving him a transfusion from a West Palm Beach dog blood bank. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, 62 cats have been known to receive such "xenotransfusions," and cats are apparently the only animals (besides dogs) that can safely process dog blood. [Keynoter (Key West), 10-4-2014]

When a van on official business for the city of St. Paul, Minnesota, accidentally hit Megan Campbell's Nissan Pathfinder in August, Campbell, naturally, filed a claim against the city for the $1,900 damage -- normally just a cost of business for a city and one of about 400 claims St. Paul has processed this year. However, the van happened to be driven by the same Megan Campbell, an employee of St. Paul Parks and Recreation, who apparently could not avoid hitting her own parked SUV. At press time, the city was investigating but expected to handle the claim as routine. [St. Paul Pioneer-Press, 10-9-2014]

Pauline Chai and her estranged husband, Khoo Kay Peng (a Laura Ashley executive), are battling in a London courtroom in a very expensive divorce, with the current issue to determine whether the English judge has jurisdiction instead of courts in the couple's native Malaysia. In the course of bringing the British judge up to date, Chai casually described how she has supported her husband's relentless nature -- by revealing that he would do copious amounts of work (for four hours at a time) at home while sitting on the toilet. Khoo "got backache there," she said, "so I got the idea of (a) padded toilet seat" for him. [Daily Telegraph (London), 10-2-2014]

The former chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, revealed at an October conference in Chicago that even though his post-government income will be several times what he earned as Fed chairman, he was nonetheless rejected recently when he tried to refinance his Washington, D.C., home. Mortgage-lending is so highly computerized, he was told, dictated by formulas, that he apparently got caught in an algorithm. Despite a probably seven-figure book contract and six-figure public speeches, he is no longer "employed" in a steady job, which apparently caused a computer program to signal him as too risky. [New York Times, 10-2-2014]

-- Victor Thompson, 46, arrested in St. Petersburg, Florida, in October for possession of the synthetic marijuana called Master Kush Spice (which he insisted is legal in his native New Hampshire), is apparently an out-of-control New England Patriots' fan -- having tattooed his entire bald head with a painstaking replica of quarterback Tom Brady's helmet. The attention to detail on the authentic design and colors is remarkable, including subtle add-ons such as the American flag, NFL logo and helmet manufacturer ("Riddell"). Not only is Brady's "12" properly placed, so is the green dot identifying the "helmet" as radio-ready for messages from the sideline. [The Smoking Gun, 10-10-2014]

-- Police in Minneapolis arrested Nicholas Mullenmaster, 38, in October as the man who inexplicably flushed nails and other pieces of metal down toilets of several restaurants since August, causing "thousands of dollars" in damage. In most incidents, two to three pounds of nails clogged the toilets, requiring plumbing repair charges of up to $1,000 each, but at one Starbucks, a wall had to be removed. Although witnesses and surveillance video seemed to identify Mullenmaster as the culprit, he denied any involvement, and thus no motive for the toilet attacks has emerged. [WCCO-TV (Minneapolis), 10-6-2014]

-- A Duck With Issues: After days of looking weary and walking lopsidedly, "Ducka," the pet muscovy, finally gave owner Vicki Hicks of Sydney, Australia, a clue to its behavior by coughing up a nail. Veterinarian Hamish Baron of the Avian Reptile and Exotic Animal Hospital ordered an X-ray, which revealed a small toolbox's worth of nails, screws and washers in Ducka's belly. The items had to be removed, one by one, in surgeries totaling five hours. Dr. Baron told Sydney's Daily Telegraph in October that though birds are attracted to shiny objects, Ducka's case was severe. [Daily Telegraph (Sydney), 10-13-2014]

Two men ran out the door of a closed-for-the-night Houston Family Dollar store on Oct. 7 -- empty-handed, after a failed theft attempt. According to the surveillance video, one man had removed items from a bottom shelf while the store was still open, and crawled behind the shelf space just before his partner came by and restocked the shelf (thus hiding his buddy). The partner then made a purchase and left. After the last employee had closed up around 11 p.m., the "hidden" (and extremely patient!) man crawled out, surely intending to let his partner in and start snatching things, but the "hidden" man was only able to take a few steps before a motion-detector sounded an alarm, and both men fled on foot (not even bothering to grab an item or two on the way out). [KHOU-TV, 10-10-2014]

Unless Stephen Gough, 50, changes his mind about wearing pants, he risks spending the rest of his life behind bars, according to a January (2010) ruling of Scotland's Perth Sheriff's Court. Gough, Britain's "naked rambler," is a freelance nudist who for years has roamed U.K. countrysides, interrupted by numerous jail stints for violating public decency. He was released from Perth Prison in December (2009) after his latest stay, but seconds later shucked his clothes and was re-arrested. (In his most recent trial before that, Gough acted as his own lawyer and somehow persuaded an overly fair judge to let him be naked in court.) (Update: Gough has remained in character, having spent almost every day since this story was published incarcerated for violating a series of anti-social behavior orders requiring him to wear clothes in public.) [STV.tv (Edinburgh), 1-12-10] [BBC News, 10-7-2014]

Thanks This Week to Susan Kennedy, Steven Lobejko, Steve Dunn, and Alex Boese, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.