New York City's tap water is already widely regarded as world-class, in safety and taste (and subjected to a half-million tests a year by the city's Department of Environmental Protection). However, two entrepreneurs recently opened the Molecule water bar in the city's East Village, selling 16-ounce bottles of the same water for $2.50, extra-filtered through their $25,000 machine that applies UV rays, ozone treatment and "reverse osmosis" in a seven-stage process to create what they call "pure H2O." The owners of Molecule are a restaurateur/art dealer and a "social-justice activist" who is a "former world champion boomerang player," according to a July Wall Street Journal profile. [Wall Street Journal, 7-18-2012]

-- In 2011, the Liberty County, Texas, home of Joe Bankson and Gena Charlton was raided by sheriff's deputies, the FBI, state officials and a trailing media crew (alerted by the sheriff), checking out a tip that "25 to 30" children's bodies were buried on the property. No evidence was found, and in a June 2012 lawsuit for defamation, Bankson and Charlton claim that the sheriff had organized the raid knowing full well that the tipster was a self-described "prophet" who had disclosed that her information came from "Jesus and the (32) angels" who were present with her. The sheriff said he did everything "by the book" and that a judge signed the search warrant confirming "probable cause" to believe that at least one crime (if not 25 to 30) had been committed. [Courthouse News, 6-8-2012; Simple Justice blog, 6-19-2012]

-- In July, the online magazine Salon profiled Virtuous Pedophiles -- an effort by two notably articulate men who insist that their sexual fascination with children would never extend to personal contact. Said one (who claims "advanced degrees from prestigious universities"): "We do not choose to be attracted to children (but) we can resist the temptation to abuse children sexually." He added, curiously, that "many" of the Virtuous Pedophiles "present no danger to children whatsoever." Lamented the group's co-founder, "Almost any group in the world can hold a convention, look out on a sea of faces, and say, 'These are people like me,'" but because pedophiles are treated with such scorn, "we can't." [Salon, 7-1-2012]

-- North Carolina state Rep. Becky Carney, an environmental activist, inadvertently cast the deciding vote in July to open up natural-gas hydraulic fracking in the state. The legislature had passed the bill earlier, but it was vetoed by Gov. Bev Perdue, and the House needed exactly 72 votes to override the veto and enact the bill. Carney's tireless lobbying of colleagues appeared to have helped halt the overriders at 71 votes, but when it came time to push the buttons, Carney accidentally became the 72nd. She could be heard on her microphone in the chamber, saying, "Oh my gosh. I pushed green." [The Atlantic blog, 7-3-2012]

-- "It's Just Politics": (1) Mark Schimel told reporters in Albany, N.Y., in May that it was nothing personal that caused him to run for the Republican nomination to the state assembly from Nassau County -- where the incumbent is his estranged wife, Democrat Michelle Schimel. Mark's mother seemed quite upset at her son. "I can't believe he'd do a thing like this (to Michelle)," she told a reporter. "I'm going to talk to him." (2) Democratic attorney Christopher Smith is the presumptive nominee for a Florida Senate seat from Fort Lauderdale, and it was just a coincidence, said Republican leadership in June, that their candidate is attorney Christopher Smithmyer. Registered Democrats dominate the district, but Smithmyer may win some votes by confusion. [New York Daily News, 5-13-2012] [Tampa Bay Times, 6-9-2012]

-- Coming Soon to American Democracy? (1) In March in Ireland, Bundoran Town Councilor Florence Doherty became exasperated with colleague Michael McMahon, who opposed a bill to strengthen whistleblowers' rights. "(T)his country doesn't need whistleblowers," McMahon said. Doherty replied, "Of course it does, you asshole." In a later radio interview, Doherty repeated her word-of-the-day four times. (2) In a live TV debate in July, Mohammed Shawabka, a member of the Jordanian parliament, became enraged when his opponent, Mansour Seif-Eddine Murad, called him a secret Israeli agent. Shawabka removed a shoe and hurled it at Murad, who ducked, but then Shawabka pulled a silver pistol from his waistband and waved it around (though no shots were fired). [Donegal Democrat, 3-7-2012] [Associated Press via Fox News, 7-9-2012]

-- Mainstreaming: In May, the brother of Jane Svoboda, 52, called for sympathy after a video surfaced of her addressing the Lincoln (Neb.) City Council with nonsense comments about Whitney Houston, Hillary Clinton and "corpse(s) found without clothes." The brother noted that his sister lives in an assisted living community and has been diagnosed as schizophrenic. Nonetheless, as the Lincoln Journal Star pointed out, Ms. Svoboda continues to be a registered lobbyist at the state capitol. [Lincoln Journal Star, 5-12-2012]

William Voss has a tough job, noted a Bloomberg News report in June. He is CEO of the Flight Safety Foundation, which relentlessly campaigns for improving airline safety regulations, but admits that his primary obstacle is ... safe airlines. (The last major-airline accident in the U.S. was 11 years ago, leading to complacency by airlines, passengers and regulators.) "If anyone wants to advance safety through regulation," Voss said, "it can't be done without further loss of life." [Bloomberg News, 6-25-2012]

Perspective: The median annual per-capita income in the New York City borough of the Bronx is about $18,000. In the adjacent borough of Manhattan, as the New York Post reported in May, a resident of a certain condominium on East 11th Street was about to pay over 50 times that amount -- just for a parking space. The space is a deluxe one, though: about 12 feet by 23 feet by 15 feet high, meaning that it can be configured to store more than one car. [MSNBC, 5-20-2012]

Yet another woman made the news recently for having loaded up, over several years, in breast augmentation surgery. Paula Simonds, 44, of Miami, who is known professionally as model Lacey Wildd, is approaching her goal of having breasts large enough to place her in the top five in the world. However, the quest is grossing out her six kids -- two young, two grown and (especially tough) two in high school, where the taunts flow freely. Currently, Simonds measures herself as an "L"-cup, headed for a "triple-M." [Daily Mail, 6-14-2012]

-- James Allan, 28, was sentenced to three years in prison in Oxford, England, in July for robbing a news shop. Allan's getaway was delayed when he insisted, repeatedly, on pushing the front door open when he obviously should have been pulling. Finally, exasperated, he yanked off his balaclava, exposing his face to the surveillance camera, kicked the door, breaking the glass, and escaped. Police arrested him about three hours later nearby. (The 2000 British movie "Snatch" featured just such a memorable scene of push/pull helplessness.) [Oxford Mail, 7-3-2012]

-- When the assistant manager arrived early on June 26 to open up the Rent-A-Center in Brockton, Mass., he encountered a man with his head stuck underneath the heavy metal loading bay door (obviously as a result of a failed burglary attempt during the night). "Hang tight!" the manager consoled the trapped man. "The police are on their way." Manuel Fernandes, 53, was arrested. [The Enterprise (Brockton), 6-26-2012]

(1) Our Lady of Sorrows Academy in Phoenix, playing for an Arizona state boys' baseball title in May, decided to forfeit the game rather than field a team against Mesa Preparatory Academy -- because Mesa's second-baseman was a girl, Paige Sultzbach. (In two regular-season meetings, Mesa had honored Our Lady's beliefs by benching Sultzbach.) (2) The Judson Independent School District near San Antonio fired a kindergarten teacher in June for arranging an unorthodox solution to a colleague's bullying-student problem. The teacher ordered the class's 24 other students to line up and slap the bully (and encouraging the students to "hit him harder") to reinforce the message of "why bullying is bad." [AZCentral.com (Phoenix), 5-9-2012] [Associated Press via ABC News, 6-18-2012]

Thanks This Week to Gary DaSilva, Jim Weiss, and Perry Levin, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

Urinal Technology: (1) Two Brazilian firms collaborated recently to test a whimsical device that could perhaps lessen splashing on men's room floors: a urinal containing a fretboard that makes musical sounds as liquid hits it (if the stream is strong enough). According to a May report in the Brazilian edition of Billboard magazine, versions were set up in several Sao Paulo bars to see if men's aims improved. (Flushing produces an online address from which a sound recording of the user's "music" can be retrieved.) (2) In a project that has already gone live in 200 Michigan bars and restaurants, the state's Office of Highway Safety Planning has installed "talking" urinal cakes featuring a female announcer urging inebriated patrons to call a taxi. [Billboard-Brazil via The Atlantic, 6-1-2012] [WZZM-TV (Grand Rapids), 7-2-2012]

-- Recurring Theme: From time to time, Buddhist groups attempt to improve their "karmic balance" by doing good deeds for Earth's animal cohabitants. (Previously, "News of the Weird" mentioned a California group's "freeing" fish by buying out a pet shop's inventory and liberating the "lucky" fish into the Pacific Ocean -- where they were undoubtedly eaten almost immediately by larger fish.) In June, about 50 members of the Let Blessings and Wisdom Grow Buddhist group in Beijing bought at least 200 snakes, took them into a rural area of Hebei province, and, chanting, released them. Almost immediately, the snakes infested the nearby village of Miao Erdong, horrifying the villagers, who were able to club to death some of the snakes, but who remained on edge. [Daily Telegraph (London), 6-5-2012]

-- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's weekly Morbidity and Mortality newsletter reported in June that, officially, 11 newborn Jewish males in New York City between the years 2000-2011 were diagnosed with herpes simplex virus that had been passed on by a circumcision technique in which the "mohel" (circumciser) contains bleeding by sucking blood directly from the wound. [Morbidity and Mortality Weekly, 6-8-2012]

-- Prominent filmmakers Daniel Junge (an Academy Award winner) and Bryan Storkel have been raising money for their documentary "Fight Church," featuring devout Christian mixed martial artists viciously pummeling each other -- but only after the brawlers begin the match with a prayer and commitment to serve Jesus Christ. Among those featured is Pastor Paul Burress of Rochester, N.Y., who says he "loves to fight" and sees no problem with MMA's barbaric nature. "These (techniques of fighting savagely) are the gifts and the skills God has given me." [Christian Post, 6-19-2012]

-- Scottish officials were reportedly optimistic about a recent decision of the legislature of Louisiana. State officials this year broadened a voucher program to allow parents to choose private schools with Christian fundamentalist curricula. One prominent textbook for that curriculum (offered by the Accelerated Christian Education program) touted sightings of Scotland's Loch Ness monster as "evidence" that humans and dinosaurs walked the Earth at the same time, thus undermining the widely accepted scientific theory of evolution. Officials now anticipate an influx of tourists to Loch Ness, near Inverness. [The Herald (Glasgow), 6-24-2012]

-- Television ads appeared recently in India exploiting women's obsession with lightening their skin -- a fascination already responsible for a rich market in facial bleaching. Now, ads for "Clean and Dry Intimate Wash" promise to "refresh" a woman's private parts by making them fairer. Female columnist Amrit Dhillon, viewing an ad of a disinterested husband ignoring his too-brown wife, denounced the product as catering to "self-hatred -- of race and gender" and urged the banning of the ads. [The Age (Melbourne, Australia), 5-23-2012]

-- In May, the Beijing Municipal Commission of City Administration and Environment issued a formal rule to crack down on unhygienic public restrooms. The toilets' attendants will be ordered to take corrective action any time they count a number of flies equal to two times the number of stalls in the restroom. The city official in charge downplayed the likelihood of inspectors themselves counting flies. "The regulation is specific ... but the inspection methodology will be flexible." [Fox NewsCore via WTTG-TV (Washington, D.C.), 5-23-2012]

-- Adriana Villareal of Dos de Mayo, Argentina, lost her husband two years ago but now makes it a point to visit his tomb about four times a year, and not just briefly. Villareal brings bedding, an Internet connection, and a small stove so that she can remain three or four days at each visit. Said Villareal, according to a June Agence France-Presse dispatch, "When you love someone, you do all sorts of things." [Agence France-Presse via Yahoo News, 6-15- 2012]

-- The Illinois Supreme Court affirmed a lower court ruling in June in which Marshall Hollins was sentenced to eight years in prison for taking cellphone photographs of a 17-year-old girl with whom he was having sex. That sex was voluntary and, since Illinois' age of consent is 16, legal. However, the court ruled, it is still illegal in Illinois to take sexual pictures of a child, and that particular law defines underage as under 18. (Hollins had claimed, unsuccessfully, that he surely ought to be able to take pictures of a legal event.) [Associated Press via Springfield Journal-Register, 6-21-2012]

-- British soccer player John Terry was acquitted in July of hurling racial abuse at opponent Anton Ferdinand, even though Terry's three-word phrase was acknowledged by the judge to contain the word "black" and two words that are commonly censored in family newspapers. According to a New York Times dispatch before the verdict, there was much testimony about the "paint-peeling profanities" that soccer opponents routinely use on the pitch (in particular, referencing each other's mothers' sex lives). In handing down the verdict, the Westminster Magistrates' Court judge said he was not certain that Terry was not simply repeating a slur that he had heard moments earlier. [The Sun (London), 7-14-2012; New York Times, 7-13-2012]

Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) On June 8, sheriff's deputies near Tampa, Fla., charged Robert Suggs, 36, and David Hall, 28, with taking a front-end loader and a dump truck from a construction site and using them to steal an ATM from a Bank of America drive-thru. The theft took place at 5 a.m., and deputies arrested the pair that afternoon when they were found near the bank, still trying to get the ATM open. (2) On the same day, in Albuquerque, Thomas Molina, 38, was arrested in the act of fleeing a burglary at Central New Mexico Community College. As he tried to climb out a window, his getaway was hampered by having gotten his foot caught in the blinds. [WTSP.com (St. Petersburg), 7-9-2012; KQRE-TV (Albuquerque), 7-10-2012]

Some events, no matter how "weird" they first seemed, now occur with such frequency that they must be retired from circulation. Surely there are now too many instances in which a worker drawing disability benefits cheats by taking on strenuous pastimes or even second jobs while claiming to be unable to function normally at work. One of the most recent involved letter-carrier Jacquelyn Myers of Tallahassee, Fla., who was put on "light duty," with worker compensation benefits, because of a back injury from heavy lifting. Over a several-months period after her May 2009 injury, investigators found that she had entered more than 80 long-distance races, including the Boston Marathon. Investigators also noted that her race times improved after her "injury." [Associated Press via Northwest Florida Daily News, 5-16-2012]

The Role of Alcohol in Parenting: (1) Police in Fort Wayne, Ind., arrested an intoxicated man and woman on May 7 after witnesses reported that the couple was seen leaving Belmont Beverage with four children strapped to the hood of their car. The children (ages 4, 5, 6 and 7) were not hurt. (2) In April, Paul Berloni, 49, was arrested in Sarasota County, Fla., when police spotted him driving an SUV with his 7-year-old granddaughter in a toy Hot Wheels car behind him, attached to the SUV with two dog leashes. The SUV was traveling 5 to 10 mph, witnesses said, and Berloni, who smelled of alcohol, admitted that his license had been suspended following his last DUI. [WANE-TV (Fort Wayne), 5-8-2012] [The Smoking Gun, 4-30-2012]

Thanks This Week to Sam Dillon, Mike Wolcott, Tim Allen, Peter Smagorinsky, Eric Ivers, Roy Henock, Tom Sullivan, John Ellwood, and Craig Cryer, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

Perspective: Of the world's 7 billion people, an estimated 2.6 billion do not have toilet access, and every day a reported 4,000 children die from sanitation-related illnesses. However, in May, in Portland, Ore., Douglas Eki and "Jason" Doctolero were awarded $332,000 for wrongful firing because they complained about being inconvenienced at work by not having an easily available toilet. Menzies Aviation had arranged for the men to use facilities at nearby businesses at their Portland International Airport site, but the men said they felt unwelcome at those places and continued to complain (and use buckets). One juror said afterward that having easy access to a toilet was a "basic human right," citing the "dignity (of) being able to go to the bathroom within 30 seconds or a minute." Said Doctolero, "Hopefully, no one will have to suffer what I went through." [The Oregonian, 5-21-2012]

-- When Sherry Bush returned home in Westlake, Ohio, in May, she found an "invoice" written on a napkin, left by "Sue Warren," billing her $75 for a housecleaning that Warren had done while Bush was out. However, Bush never heard of Warren, and there had been reports by others in Westlake of Warren's aggressive acquisition of "clients." "Did you get the wrong house?" Bush asked Warren when she found "Sue Warren Cleaning" online. "No," said Warren, "I do this all the time. I just stop and clean your house." Warren was not immediately charged with a crime. [WKYC-TV, 5-30-2012]

-- Disgraced televangelist Jim Bakker still owes the IRS a reported $6 million and now sells a line of "survival" products to help true believers live through the coming apocalypse. (It is unclear whether believers need to "survive," since the popular reading of the apocalypse casts it as a fast track to heaven for the faithful.) The Talking Points Memo blog did some comparative shopping and found many of Bakker's items to be overpriced by as much as 100 percent. Bakker also offers the devout a $100 Silver Solution Total Body Cleanse Kit, which includes enemas. [Talking Points Memo via The Atlantic, 5-17-2012; National Enquirer, 5-28-2012; JimBakkerShow.com]

-- Medical Marvel: A 63-year-old woman in South Korea bit into a portion of squid and later felt "bug-like organisms" moving around in her mouth. According to doctors at the National Center for Biotechnology Information in Bethesda, Md., writing in a recent paper, the squid had probably expelled its spermatophores as if it were attempting insemination. (When squid is eaten in the West, the internal organs have been removed, but apparently not in South Korea.) A scientist who has worked with squid commented on the professional network Science 2.0, "I've probably had hundreds of spermatophores ejaculate on my fingers and never felt a sting." [Daily Mail (London), 6-15-2012]

-- A start-up venture in Singapore announced in June that it has developed an adult diaper made of "Sofshell," a substance that hardens on contact and redistributes weight -- so that if seniors fall on their rear ends, the impact will be absorbed with a lesser risk of broken bones. One of the developers demonstrated by dropping a bowling ball on a cellphone protected by the material, and the phone suffered not a scratch. [The Straits Times (Singapore), 6-5-2012]

-- Researchers at the National University of Singapore described, in a recent issue of the journal Biology Letters, how a certain species of male tropical spider seemingly improves its chances of successful mating by castrating itself after releasing sperm. The scientists hypothesize that testes-removal makes the male nimbler and better able to trick and outflank competitor males that attempt to reinseminate the same females. Improving their strategic mobility also enables the male to avoid being killed by the female, which is yet another hazard in the spider-mating process. [New York Times, 6-19-2012]

-- While top stars of World Wrestling Entertainment, such as John Cena and Triple H, earn upwards of several hundred thousand dollars a year in U.S. rings, pro wrestlers in Senegal can (in the wrestling variation called laamb) make almost that amount too. In May, the undefeated national "champion," the "King of the Arena" Yekini, suffered his first defeat in 15 years at the hands of Balla Gaye 2, before a capacity crowd at Demba Diop Stadium in Dakar, earning the combatants a reported equivalent of $300,000 each. (Per capita income in the U.S. is about $40,000 and in Senegal, $1,900.) [New York Times, 5-25-2012]

-- Hard Times: (1) In May, the Missoula (Mont.) Sheriff's Office was investigating the theft of a car from the victim's yard -- a 1976 Ford Pinto (which, in addition to being a Pinto, had four flat tires). (2) In Mesa, Ariz., in May, Manuel Ovalle, 35, was charged with burglary after allegedly breaking into a home and taking a Playstation 3 and two bags of water from the home's swimming pool. (Ovalle told police his own home had no water supply.) [The Missoulian, 5-29-2012] [KPHO-TV (Phoenix), 5-29-2012]

-- Suspicions Confirmed: Scientists from Lund University's Primate Research Station Furuvik in Sweden announced in May that they had evidence that chimpanzees are able to delay using weapons they encounter, hide them and retrieve them later for use against "foes." The weapons were stones and chunks of concrete, and the foes were visitors to the zoo who annoyed the chimps. According to the researchers, the 33-year-old chimp Santino also took pains to hide the weapons in locations where they could be accessed easily for the element of surprise against the visitors. [PLoS ONE via Live Science, 5-17-2012]

-- Bullfighting may be on the wane in some countries because of complaints about cruelty, but in the village of Aproz, Switzerland, there is a replacement each May: cow-fighting contests. According to a Wall Street Journal dispatch, this is a serious business, especially for Alain Balet, whose cow Manathan has won the heavyweight title for three years running, and who "follow(s) training regimens worthy of professional athletes," including engaging masseuses. The action, however, is mostly head-butting (plus "abundant slobber," reported the Journal), and the "contest" is won when one of the cows loses interest and wanders away. Balet pointed out an obvious additional pleasure in raising championship cows: "It's still a cow. I can eat her." [Wall Street Journal, 5-8-2012]

Police in Decatur, Ala., were called to a home on South Locust Street in May on a report of a gunshot. They found that a 61-year-old man, who had been drinking beer to ease his toothache, had finally had enough and attempted to eliminate the tooth by shooting his jaw with a .25-caliber pistol. He was hospitalized. [Decatur Daily, 5-30-2012]

Undignified Deaths: (1) A prominent karate instructor and superhero impersonator (of the Marvel Comics character Wolverine) was found dead in Carshalton, England, in February, and a coroner's inquest in May determined it was yet another sexual-misadventure death. The 50-year-old was discovered wrapped in a red nylon sheet with his neck and ankles tightly bound in what police estimated was three rolls of cling film. (2) Though authorities could not be certain, evidence suggests that Vicente Benito, whose body was found in his home in the village of Canizal, Spain, in May, might have been lying there for almost 20 years. The mayor of the 520-person hamlet told a reporter for London's The Guardian that since the man had always been a hermit, he had apparently not been missed. No one noticed a smell coming from the home, but since the house was close to a pigsty, that was not unusual, either. [Daily Mail, 5-31-2012] [The Guardian, 6-1-2012]

(1) A pair of mated giant tortoises that had lived in harmony for 115 years in zoos in Klagenfurt, Austria, are a couple no more, and apparently things ended badly. In June, the female Bibi bit off part of the male Poldi's shell, and efforts to reconcile the pair, including using aphrodisiacs, proved futile. (2) Daniel Collins Jr., 72, was charged with aggravated assault in Teaneck, N.J., in June after allegedly threatening to shoot a 47-year-old neighbor. Collins said he was reacting to the neighbor's passing gas loudly outside Collins' apartment after the two men had been discussing noise. [Austrian Times via Christian Science Monitor, 6-13-2012] [NorthJersey.com, 6-26-2012]

Thanks This Week to Telaraj Webster, John Beyrau, Gary DaSilva, Peter Levy, and Michael Tubbs, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.