Risky Business Models: (1) Orlando-area cosmetic surgeon Jeffrey Hartog inaugurated Liquid Gold, a storehouse for patients' frozen liposuctioned fat, charging $900 to safekeep a coffee-cup-sized portion and $200 per year storage (in case the fat is needed later, as for smoothing facial wrinkles). A Massachusetts General Hospital physician shook his head, telling the Orlando Sentinel, "(F)rozen fat doesn't hold up as well as fresh fat." (2) German biochemist Peer Bork told the journal Nature in September that he and his partners built the not-for-profit MyMicrobes.com social network so that people with similar stomach bacteria can commiserate over diet and gastrointestinal woes. The $2,100 signup fee includes a full gut-bacteria sequencing.

-- Wild Things: Motorist Clyde White of Corbin, Ky., was charged with attempted murder in August after police finally collared him following a road-rage chase that reached speeds of over 100 mph. White, who had repeatedly rammed his two siblings in their vehicle, is 78 years old, and in that other vehicle were his brother, 82, and his sister, 83.

-- According to a recent report from Britain's Office of National Statistics, there are 297,000 households in the country in which no adult has ever held any kind of job. The number of individuals who thus may never have developed the "habit of work," and who instead have grown accustomed to the country's generous welfare payments, might total 700,000. (In an example cited by the Daily Mail, one such couple in their late 30s, and their children, "earn" the equivalent of almost $1,100 per week in income support and disability payments.)

-- Chicago massage therapist Liudmyla Ksenych, testifying for the prosecution in August in a sex-trafficking trial, happened to notice from the witness stand that the defense lawyer, Douglas Rathe, was formerly a client of hers. The judge immediately declared a mistrial. Rathe later said he visited Ksenych four times in 2009 but that "nothing inappropriate" happened.

(1) What Year Is This? In August in Lubbock, Texas, Carl Wade Curry, 44, was sentenced to 99 years in prison for cattle rustling. (Said one of the victims, Curry tried to be a smooth-talking, handshake-dealing cattle seller, but "he wasn't capable.") (2) In Jackson, Minn., in March, Andrew Espey was sentenced to 90 days in jail for improperly shingling the roof of his house. Complained Espey, "(A) drunk can drive down the highway and get a lot less (of a sentence)." (He had affixed new shingles without first removing the old ones.)

-- Larry Stone, jailed on property crimes in Tavares, Fla., because he could not make the $1,250 bail, posted the bond in July by earning $1,300 in telephone-company money after discovering a management error that credited his jail account $46 for every international call he pretended to make. (The company figured out the problem a day later and recovered all the payouts from the accounts of Stone and 250 other prisoners who had learned of the glitch. Stone's bond was revoked, of course, and he was returned to lockup.)

-- "Sorry, Honey. I Was Aiming at the Dog": (1) Betty Walker, allegedly firing at the pit bull that she saw lunging at some children, hit the dog with one shot and her husband, 53, with a second shot, killing him (Jackson, Miss., July). (2) Brent Bader, allegedly firing at the family dog, instead hit his wife once in the head, killing her (Twin Peaks, Calif., February). (3) Samuel Campos, 46, allegedly firing to put away the family Chihuahua after having inadvertently wounded it the day before, instead hit his girlfriend, 41, killing her (Willits, Calif., March).

While too many children in Third World countries die from starvation or lack of basic medicines, the preschoolers of the TLC TV channel's "Outrageous Kid Parties" reality show celebrate birthdays and "graduation" (from or to kindergarten) with spectacular events that may cost their parents $30,000 or more. Typical features, according to an August ABC News report, included a Ferris wheel, a roller coaster, a dunking booth, animal rides and a cotton candy machine, as well as the obligatory live music and limo or horseback (for grand entrances).

Strategies: (1) Alicia Bouchard, 41, was arrested in Jackson County, Fla., in August, accused of hatching a plot with her husband to impregnate a 12-year-old girl for the purpose of producing a baby that would eventually earn an additional welfare check. (2) In August, the Japanese construction firm Maeda Corp. ordered its 2,700 employees to adopt standard, short hairstyles (a "bob" for women with a longer fringe that could be swept to the side, and a routine short-back-and-sides cut for men with a slightly longer cut on top). Maeda said it was responding to the government's plea to reduce energy usage (less water, less hair dryer time).

(1) Travis Keen, 28, was arrested in Ouachita Parish, La., in August and charged with indecent exposure while driving around the parking lot at a Walmart. According to the police report, Keen explained that, based on experience, "when he comes to Walmart, he gets aroused." (2) William Falkingham, 34, was warned by police in Idaho Falls, Idaho, in August that he'd better stop wearing his large, black bunny-rabbit suit in public. One resident complained that his son had been frightened and that others were "greatly disturbed," and besides, Falkingham sometimes wore a tutu with the bunny outfit.

(1) Lon Groves, 40, was arrested in Fort Walton Beach, Fla., after a brief standoff with police in July following an incident in which he allegedly held a handgun to the head of his wife in an argument over which of their granddaughters was the wife's favorite. (2) Pastor Daryl Riley of the New Welcome Baptist Church in St. Elmo, Ala., was tased, allegedly by the church's music minister, whom Riley had just fired in August (which led another parishioner to pull a knife and begin stabbing wildly in a melee). Said the music minister's mother, "He done cut (me) before anything started."

Anecdotes have surfaced over the years about an alleged sexual fetish of purposely pumping air into the rectum, and the Snopes.com "urban legends" website accepts that at least one instance has been reliably reported (in 1993 in Thailand, although that involved not self-gratification but a prank that got out of hand, resulting in the death of the victim). In July 2010, in Hull County, England, electrician Gareth Durrant, 26, was the victim of a prank that mirrored the 1993 case except that a quick-acting colleague removed the air hose, which had been inserted by co-workers as Durrant lounged on a break. Durrant said his body felt like it was inflating. In August 2011, as his lawsuit went to Hull Crown Court (as he has been unable to work ever since), he said that he still suffers headaches and stomach pains.

Because perhaps hundreds of Japanese Yakuza gangsters are nearing retirement age, the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare has drafted rules for the former gambling, loan shark and protection workers to qualify for benefits, according to a March dispatch from Tokyo in The Times of London. Since organized gangs avoid paper trails, ex-mobsters must supply a letter acknowledging retirement from their crime boss in order to sign up, although local governments are expected to accept as provisional proof criminal records, gang tattoos and demonstrations of missing fingertips (traditional Yakuza punishment for mistakes).

LEAD STORY

The medical establishment generally regards placentas (afterbirth) as biohazardous waste, but to New York City placenta chef Jennifer Mayer, they are a nutrient-laden meat that can alleviate postpartum depression and aid in breast milk production (among other so-far-unverified benefits). Mayer typically sets up in clients' own kitchens, she told New York magazine for an August story. Some placentas are "really intense, with grief or sadness or uncertainty." Others might be "joyful," "big and round." Mayer's method: Drain the blood, blot dry, cook for a half-hour (leaving something resembling brisket), chop into slivers, dehydrate overnight (rendering it jerky-like). For a popular touch, Mayer then grinds it in a blender and pours the powder into several dozen (one-a-day) capsules.

-- The Learning Channel's "Toddlers & Tiaras" series has pushed critics' buttons enough with its general support of the competitive world of child beauty pageants, but a recent episode provoked unusually rabid complaints, according to a September New York Post report. Mother Lindsay Jackson had costumed her 4-year-old Maddy as "Dolly Parton" -- anatomically correct (chest and backside) Dolly Parton. The Post described Maddy as "embarrass(ed)" at her chest when another 4-year-old pointed at her and asked, "What is that?" (Ultimately, the judges liked Maddy -- for "sweetest face.")

-- Things You Didn't Think Existed: (1) World Record for Length of Tonsils: Justin Werner, 21, of Topeka, Kan., was certified in July by the Guinness Book, with tonsils measuring 2.1 inches and 1.9 inches, respectively. The old "champion" was Justin Dodge of Milwaukee. (2) Global Competition in Dominos: The breakaway Georgian region of Abkhazia will be the site, in October, of the world domino championship. (Twenty-five countries belong to the International Domino Federation.)

-- Retired U.S. Army Sgt. Maj. Rob Dickerson finally received his Purple Heart this summer, four years after he was seriously wounded in a rocket attack in Iraq and two years after he began a paperwork battle with the Army to "prove" his injury. Recently, the Army had apologized and mailed him the award, but it arrived C.O.D., leaving Dickerson to pay the $21 fee. (The Army subsequently reimbursed Dickerson the fee, but Dickerson said he hasn't been able to cash the check, in that it was erroneously made out to "Roy Dirksen.")

Madrid's Getafe soccer club, struggling for customers, startled Spain this summer by commissioning a porn movie, with zombies, hoping to attract more fans. As if that were not quixotic enough, it then tied the movie to a campaign to solicit sperm-bank donations. Explained the film's producer, Angel Torres, "We have to move a mass of fans to seed the world with Getafe supporters." A promo for the film follows a Getafe fan, armed with a copy of the movie for his viewing pleasure, as he disappears into a clinic's private cubicle to fulfill his donation.

-- "Do You See the Blimp Who Robbed You?": In August, 400-pound Eric Kenley, 48, won a new trial for his two New York City robbery convictions after appeals court judges realized that the police lineup that identified him was unfair, in that he was apparently much fatter than the other men in his lineup. The police had attempted to compensate by using larger-than-average men and by presenting them all seated, to minimize the weight difference.

-- Obviously intense about potential child-trafficking, the government of Quebec, Canada, requires strict proof of a live birth, certified by a doctor or licensed midwife. However, the waiting list to hire either one is long, and Heather Mattingsly went with an unlicensed midwife, whose word the Directeur de l'etat civil declined to accept. Four months after the birth, the agency ordered Mattingsly to submit to a vaginal examination. After "calls from the media" (according to a Montreal Gazette report) persuaded the agency that such an exam was useless, it finally agreed, on Aug. 26, to grant a birth certificate if Mattingsly submitted a doctor-certified copy of her pre-birth ultrasound.

-- You're Doing It Wrong: Jason Dean, 24, was arrested in Ringgold, Ga., in August and charged with false imprisonment after he waited in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, approached an 18-year-old woman and handcuffed her to himself. After her screams brought others to come help her, Dean explained that he had been trying for several months to get the woman to go out with him but that she had so far refused.

-- A New York Times obituary for former lead singer Jani Lane of the heavy metal band Warrant revealed that Mr. Lane's birth name (he was born a year after Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated President John F. Kennedy) was John Kennedy Oswald. Rebellious musicians (Warrant's debut album was "Dirty Rotten Filthy Stinking Rich") often adopt provocative stage names to enhance their image, but Mr. Lane must be one of the very few to have abandoned a provocative birth name in favor of a bland one.

No Respect: (1) The man who approached tellers at the Eastern Bank in South Boston on Aug. 25 eventually fled empty-handed, but only after one teller had refused his order for "all your money" (she told him she was "closed") and another had scolded him for breaking into the front of the adjacent line and for not removing his hoodie. (2) A man dressed as Gumby was ignored by a 7-Eleven clerk when he tried to rob the store in Rancho Penasquitos, Calif., on Sept. 5. The clerk told "Gumby" not to waste his time, and "Gumby" finally fled. The clerk had such little respect for "Gumby" that he did not even report the "robbery"; it came to light only when his boss was reviewing surveillance video.

Richard Kreimer (whose appearances in "News of the Weird" in 1991 and 2006 achieved "Classic" status earlier this year) is back, apparently still defiantly malodorous. He recently filed four lawsuits against NJ Transit, alleging that he has been illegally prevented from boarding trains just because he is homeless. (NJ Transit says his behavior and lack of hygiene irritate passengers.) A former Kreimer lawyer told the Newark Star-Ledger in August that Kreimer virtually runs "sting" operations, waiting for people to offend him so he can sue. Kreimer, who tape records all his conversations, told the Star-Ledger that the lawsuits will continue, although he looks forward to one day being able to "close my law practice." However, for now, he says, "Business is booming."

Mennonites, a famously patriarchal, closed-sect religion, often live in colonies such as the one in Bolivia founded by a group from Manitoba, Canada. At press time, eight men from the colony are on trial in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, for rapes of up to 130 women and girls from 2005 to 2009, allegedly instigated by Peter Weiber, 48, the colony's veterinarian. Weiber supposedly converted a cow anesthetic into an aerosol sedative that he sprayed into the victims' open bedroom windows at night, after which he and his co-defendants would enter and have their way with the victims. According to an August dispatch in Time magazine, the case is hampered by shamed victims' reluctance to testify and by the behavior of the defendants, who have been "laughing" at witnesses, "jok(ing) with guards," or "fall(ing) asleep" during the trial.

When Billy W. Williams, 53, skipped out during his trial for aggravated assault in 2003 in Dallas, Judge Faith Johnson was obviously annoyed, though Williams was nonetheless found guilty in absentia. When Williams was recaptured and returned to her courtroom in October 2004 for sentencing, Judge Johnson organized a "welcome back" party in his "honor," with balloons, streamers and a cake, to create a festive backdrop for her gleeful announcement that she was sentencing him to life in prison.

"When I get to Africa, I have to worship him," said Elizabeth Osei, part-time first lady of the Akwamu people of eastern Ghana, speaking of her husband Isaac, who is the Akwamu chief. "When I get back, he has to worship me" (because Elizabeth is the president of the couple's New York City taxi company, where they work 12-hour days when they're not Ghanian royalty). Isaac's reign, according to an August New York Times report, covers several months a year and requires divine-like wisdom in adjudicating his people's disputes. Another New Yorker with a prestigious double life is Mohamed Mohamed, a state transportation bureaucrat, who recently returned to his cubicle in Buffalo, N.Y., after nine months as prime minister of Somalia. The Buffalo News reported that the Somali native, though shocked by the level of the country's dysfunction, at least got to stand up to "terrorists, pirates and warlords" and "address dignitaries from the United Nations."

-- The convenient Russian myth that "beer" (up to 10 percent alcohol by volume) is a "soft drink" will end shortly, following the enactment of restrictions signed by President Dmitry Medvedev in July. Beer had been rapidly replacing vodka as the country's primary alcoholic beverage, as people drank it with impunity around the clock in public places (since they pretended they were consuming nothing more powerful than a "cola").

-- Until recently, impoverished Indonesians sought to cure various illnesses (such as diabetes and high blood pressure) by lying on railroad tracks as trains approached, thus allowing electrical charges from the tracks to course therapeutically through their bodies. A combination of anecdotal successes and dissatisfaction with the state-operated health care system led to the instances in which hundreds at a time lay on the tracks, according to an August Associated Press dispatch.

-- What Goes Around, Comes Around: In February, 12 villagers from a South African shantytown allegedly burned down a pastor's home and killed him out of anger and fear that he was using an "invisible penis" to seduce women. The accused, who are due to answer for their superstition in court in September, according to African Eye News Service, became 11 in May when one of the men died mysteriously, and those 11 are now terrified that the pastor's family has placed an active curse on them.

-- My Rules: The Aug. 6 revival spectacular in Houston, billed as a day of prayer and attended by 30,000 people at Reliant Stadium, was also billed as a day of fasting, which apparently took at least a few worshipers by surprise, and Reliant's concession stands (which were open all day) only added to the temptation to ignore the fast. One otherwise-devout man from San Angelo, Texas, told the Texas Tribune that it was OK for him to eat because of an "agreement" he "made with God earlier."

-- Defining "Smite" Down: Fed up with the theft of Bibles from the Basilica of San Salvatore al Monte in Florence, Italy, the Franciscan priests in charge posted signs and spoke prayers urging the pilferer to repent. In the event that he does not, reported London's Daily Telegraph in August, the prayer asked that the thief be afflicted with "a strong bout of the (runs)."

-- My Kids Live With a Child-Killer? John and Kristine Cushing married and raised two daughters, but Kristine became mentally ill and in 1991 killed the girls as they slept. She was hospitalized for four years and eventually monitored for 10 more. Meanwhile, John divorced her and married Trisha, and they raised two sons, but eventually divorced and reached a shared-custody agreement. By 2005, Kristine had been approved by California doctors to return to society, and soon she and John reconnected. Understandably, Trisha became horrified at the prospect that Kristine might relapse, in which case her and John's two sons would be at risk. In August, a judge in Seattle (where John and Kristine once again cohabit), influenced by Kristine's clean record since her release, turned down Trisha's request for sole custody.

-- Highly Questionable: (1) German Paz, 33, was sentenced in Orlando to 15 years in federal prison in June for sexual exploitation of a minor via the Internet. He had begun contacting a 13-year-old girl and was using the screen name The Delightful Deviant. (2) Gareth Shand, 6, was welcomed into the first grade in San Antonio in August with an immediate in-school suspension. He is growing his hair long for a cancer-support organization, but that puts him in violation of his school's dress code.

-- Direct Pipelines from the Pentagon to U.S. Enemies: (1) A U.S. military investigation disclosed (according to a July Washington Post report) that at least four of the eight Afghan trucking firms involved in a $2.16 billion Pentagon contract designed to ferry supplies to American troops are likely to have employed subcontractors with direct ties to the Afghan Taliban. (2) United Nations investigators revealed (according to an August New York Times report) that about half of the U.S.-supplied weapons for Ugandan and Burundian troops to battle the Somalian terror group al-Shabab have ultimately wound up in al-Shabab's hands. (The poorly paid Ugandan and Burundian troops apparently found arms sales more profitable than fighting terrorists.)

-- Ned Nefer, 38, pushed a 6-foot mannequin along U.S. Highway 11 in June, for 65 miles from Syracuse, N.Y., to Watertown, N.Y., because "(The mannequin and I) really love the outdoors." The mannequin, Nefer said, is his wife "Teagan," who came to Nefer merely as a head but for whom Nefer constructed a body and "married" in 1986. Said a Watertown social services worker, to the Watertown Daily News, "I wouldn't classify (Nefer) as dangerous at all. He seemed quite happy in his own little world." Nefer's "first" wife passed away, and it is possible, the social services lady said, that this is his way of dealing with the loss.

-- Charged with crimes that could send him to prison for life, Gary LaBon, 50, nonetheless chose to defend himself at trial and told the jury in August that any kidnapping, rape or assault he might have committed on the 69-year-old woman in Hawthorne, Calif., in 2009 was "self-defense." LaBon insisted that he was in fear for his life because the woman was a "gang member." Judge Kathryn Solorzano took the unusual step of advising the jury to "disregard most of what Labon said during his argument," according to the Daily Breeze of Torrance, Calif. (Jurors quickly convicted LaBon on all counts, and he awaits sentencing.)

-- From time to time, Tibetan Buddhists inadvertently support the seafood industry with campaigns of "liberation" of living beings. In August, a Buddhist group purchased 534 lobsters from a Gloucester, Mass., wholesaler, sprayed them with holy water, clipped off their claw bindings, and released them into the Atlantic Ocean. (Of course, the lobsters were almost certainly re-caught, by Gloucester lobstermen.) (A 2004 News of the Weird story from Marina del Rey, Calif., reported that a Buddhist group made monthly pilgrimages to the harbor, purchased bait and "liberated" it, though it almost certainly was immediately eaten by fish.)

A two-week spree of five customer holdups in front of ATMs in Cambridge, Mass., came to an end in November (2003) with the arrest of Richard McCabe, 38. In four of the five robberies, bank security cameras photographed the perpetrator, and McCabe was apparently so disliked by so many that when police released the photos, more than 100 people called, eager to rat him out. Said a detective, "Many ... people knew him personally from dealing with him in the past."