The ashram-museum in Ahmedabad devoted to India's highly revered icon of freedom Mahatma Gandhi recently re-installed a replica of the spiritual leader's personal toilet, in that Gandhi's own hygiene-consciousness was such a part of his legacy. It is said that he cleaned the toilet daily and referred to it as his "temple," but ashram officials had removed it in the 1980s as somehow inappropriate, according to a September dispatch from New Delhi in London's Daily Telegraph. Gandhi had written that "a lavatory must be as clean as a drawing room."

-- Jose Rivera, 22, survived two tours in Iraq, but back home in California, he took a job at the high-security Atwater federal prison, where officers cannot carry even non-lethal crowd-control weapons, and Rivera was murdered 10 months later by two inmates armed with handmade shivs. "Every single inmate in there is armed to the teeth for his own protection," complained one officer, but a Bureau of Prisons spokesman told CNN in August that "communication" with inmates is a better policy than even modestly arming guards.

-- When Eric Aderholt's house in Rockwell County, Texas, burned down in June, it wasn't because the fire department was too slow. They arrived within minutes, but none was aware that local hydrants were locked. Apparently, departments know that hydrants in rural areas have been shut off, as part of post-9/11 security, and must be turned on with a special tool, which no one brought that night. Texas law even requires shut-off hydrants to be painted black, but the firefighters still arrived without the tool, and by the time they retrieved it, Aderholt's house was gone.

-- A member of Pakistan's parliament stood his ground in August, defending news reports from his Baluchistan province that five women had been shot and then buried alive as tribal punishment for objecting to their families' choosing husbands for them. A defiant Israr Ullah Zehri told the Associated Press, "These are centuries-old traditions, and I will continue to defend them," despite condemnation by Zehri's colleagues. "Only those who indulge in immoral acts should be afraid," Zehri said.

-- The incredibly patient Joseph Shepard Sr., 53, sat quietly in St. Louis-area lockups for more than two years expecting that his lawyer, Michael Kelly, was working for his release on bond, but it turns out neither Kelly nor prosecutors nor the judge was doing anything at all. In fact, Shepard seemed innocently happy when a St. Louis Post-Dispatch reporter told him in August that he had looked into the case himself and that Shepard would be released soon. Shepard's attitude: "If I just sit here long enough, something's going to happen." Three days later, federal judge Carol Jackson released Shepard and chastised Kelly. (Shepard's drug charges remain.)

-- After a 14-week trial in 2003 in Durham, N.C., Michael Peterson was convicted of murdering his wife with a fireplace poker and is now serving a life sentence, but his former neighbor, Larry Pollard, is certain that Mrs. Peterson was killed instead by an owl gone bad. Pollard offered voluminous information about owls to buttress his theory, but acknowledged earlier that no feathers had been found at the scene. However, in August, the State Bureau of Investigation disclosed that one "microscopic feather" was on a clump of hair in Mrs. Peterson's hand. Shouted Pollard, "(T)he feather has been found" (although it was likely a household speck of down).

-- In December 2003, Yves Julien worked a regular 11-hour shift, plus overtime, all at premium pay, for the Canada Border Services Agency, and then demanded an additional $9 (Cdn) for a sandwich he had purchased when asked to put in the extra hours. The agency said he was not entitled, by contract, because the overtime was already at premium pay. In September 2008, after nearly five years of multiple reviews, hair-splitting legal decisions and lengthy appeals, Julien won his $9.

-- Never Give Up: (1) In September, Melvin Dummar, now 62, the man who famously claimed to be in Howard Hughes' hand-written will (based on having given Hughes a ride in the desert in 1967), was turned down again by a federal appeals court in his latest challenge to the "official" 1976 will. (2) The U.S.'s most-ridiculed litigator, Roy Pearson of the Washington, D.C., dry-cleaning case (who in 2005 sued for $54 million over a pair of pants), announced in September he was appealing the dismissal of his case.

Police in Knoxville, Tenn., arrested Richard Smith, 25, in September after he called 911 from an air duct in the Knoxville Museum of Art, and Smith immediately volunteered that he was "special agent 0-9-3-1" with the "United States Illuminati" and that he had come to retrieve a nuclear warhead from the Soviet Union that was concealed in a blue plastic cow in the basement, according to a report on WBIR-TV. Smith got trapped, he said, after he received a phone call aborting the mission because the cow was actually supposed to be in a museum in Memphis. He said he had entered the Museum of Art by being lowered from a "CH2 Huey" helicopter, but police basically rejected everything Smith said except his name.

Angel Cruz, 49, was indicted in August in Florida for various dubious financial schemes, including attempting to convince employees and contractors to accept his "United Cities Group" "currency" as of parallel value with U.S. currency. Cruz came to federal prosecutors' attention when he tried to sneak $214 million of UCG money into a Bank of America branch in Miami and allegedly threatened to take over the bank when it balked at allowing withdrawals in U.S. dollars.

Critters 4, Humans 0: (1) A 17-year-old boy in Reno, Nev., accidentally set his family's house on fire trying to kill spiders (August). A woman in Santa Fe, N.M., accidentally caused severe fire damage to her home while trying to torch a rattlesnake (July). A 26-year-old man in Mobile, Ala., accidentally caused $80,000 damage to his home and a shed trying to kill a swarm of bees (June). A Buddhist monk accidentally burned down his temple in Ojiya City, Japan, trying to destroy a hornets' nest (September).

Elderly drivers' recent lapses of concentration, confusing the brake pedal with the gas (or however artfully they explain it): A Norfolk, Va., woman, 86, crashed against a Rite Aid pharmacy, damaging a vending machine (May). A Lake Oswego, Ore., man, 81, crashed through the front of a U.S. Bank building, sending employees scurrying (February). A Cincinnati woman, 80, crashed halfway into a Dollar General store, damaging displays (May). A 75-year-old Shriner, driving a go-cart in one of the organization's tiny-car exhibitions, lost control and hit, in succession, two kids and two adults, before coming to a halt in bushes (July).

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

Angela Pusateri, 79, may be unconventional, but, according to Jenna, 13, "She really is a cool grandmother." The Hallandale Beach, Fla., woman is a rap-music singer with a new CD ("Who's Your Granny?") and occasional playdates, where she shows up in hockey jersey, jewels, sunglasses and baseball cap. Sample rap: "I can bring the noise better than P-Diddy / I am older and wiser, I ain't a disguiser / I am condo commando in a high-riser, Who's your granny?" Also, "Move over, Trick-Daddy, 'cause this is my town / I gotta shuffleboard posse and we're known to get down." Actually, conceded Jenna to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel in September, "Sometimes it's embarrassing."

-- "In many ways," reported the Los Angeles Times in August, the Torajans of Indonesia's Sulawesi Island "spend a lifetime preparing for their demise," in that the most glorious highlight of their existence appears to be planning the elaborate celebration of the end of it. In fact, taking one's last breath is only the beginning of a lengthy tribute, such as the one for Toraja's last king, who died in 2003 but has not been put away yet, pending completion of the necessary ritual animal sacrifices. (In the interim, the deceased is considered more "sick" than "dead.") Said one local ("cheerfully," according to the Times), "Torajans! (We) live to die!"

-- About 250,000 women in the southern India states of Karnataka and Maharashtra are self-described "elite" sex workers whose impoverished, or devoutly pious, parents "dedicated" them as children to the Hindu goddess Yellamma, according to an August dispatch in The New Yorker. Despite the state's outlawing the practice in 1982, the women's fate as "devadasis" remains an attractive alternative to ordinary marriage (which would usually be to poor and abusive men) and provides a degree of status, in that they dress nicely and can inherit family property, while street prostitutes cannot. However, devadasis still fall victim to the region's rampant HIV rate.

-- Castrillo de Murcia, Spain, lacks a "running of the bulls" tradition, but since 1620, it has included in its annual El Colacho festival a "leaping over the babies." In late May, the town's infants are laid on mattresses in the village square, and people in red-and-yellow devil costumes jump over them and keep running, to symbolize the vanquishing of demons from their lives.

Toward a More Accessible Anglican Church: (1) In August, Birmingham Cathedral announced plans to open a series of wine bars in London, as (according to an official) one of the "alternative ways" of engaging non-church-goers. (2) The new church curate in Dursley, Gloustershire, is Rev. Skye Denno, 29, a married mother of two, whose down time is spent in biker boots, hot pants, a dog collar and her six piercings, listening to the Sex Pistols. Said she, "I don't do it to be difficult. (I) think it makes me more approachable."

-- The Nebraska legislature's new "safe haven" law for unwanted babies, like other states' laws, allows them to be dropped off anonymously at hospitals to discourage abortions (and neglect by unfit parents). However, unlike other states' laws, Nebraska's applies not just to infants, but "minors," because, said Sen. Tom White, "All children deserve our protection." In September, the first two non-infants were abandoned, as exasperated parents gave up on rebellious sons aged 11 and 15, and critics say the law could apply to those up to age 19.

-- In August, the U.S. Department of Transportation unveiled new rules for train and bus drivers returning to work from drug-use suspensions. They must now be tested first by a strip search to detect devices for cheating (such as artificial penises), and if none is found, they may re-dress themselves, but a monitor must still "directly watch the urine as it goes from the employee's body into the collection container." Not surprisingly, several unions have challenged the rule in court.

-- In July, Abbie Hawkins, 19, a hotel receptionist in Norwich, England, said she found a baby bat nestled inside the padded bra she had been wearing for several hours. "When I was driving to work, I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket," she told the Daily Telegraph. Hawkins had fetched the bra off of a clothesline that morning, where it had been hanging overnight. First reaction: "I thought how mean I was for disturbing it."

Joey Bergamine, 19, who is preparing for a re-trial in Fayetteville, N.C., on a DUI charge stemming from a July 2007 incident, will argue that he should have been advised of his right to have a lawyer present when his father kicked open his bedroom door hours after the incident to help police officers who had come to question him. Joey's father is the police chief of Fayetteville, and Joey's lawyer said entering a locked room, as well as the subsequent interrogation, constituted "police" action and not "parental" action, and since his dad failed to "Mirandize" him, the charge should be dismissed.

Barbie's Not Just a Girls' Obsession: (1) Robert Martin, 47, was arrested in Cape May, N.J., in July after a State Police officer spotted an array of pornographic magazines in his car in a public parking lot, along with a serving platter resting on his dashboard, piled with women's underwear, and a collection of naked Barbie dolls lined up on the seat. (2) Christopher Sullivan, 43, was arrested in Oshkosh, Wis., in August as the person who allegedly sent his upstairs neighbors threatening packages, including a Polaroid photo of three naked Barbie dolls with their heads cut off. He told police he was angry that the couple were too loud when they had sex.

-- Least Competent Criminals: (1) Michael Mahoney, 25, is the most recent rapist (according to police in Somerville, Mass.) to believe he is such hot stuff that he gave his phone number to the victim, certain that he had charmed her into wanting to keep seeing him. Police quickly arrested him in July at home, where he lives with his parents. (2) In July, convicted sexual molester Donald Fox, 62, of Frederick, Md., became the most recent convict to challenge the unfairness of his sentence (40 years in prison) and then have the appeals court agree it was unfair, except because it was too short (he's now serving 80 years).

-- More Ways to Consume That Heavenly Food: The fourth annual Big Tex Choice award for best taste this year (at a precursor event to September's Texas State Fair) went to Glen Kusak's chicken fried bacon. Earlier this summer, fourth-generation candymaker Joseph Marini III introduced chocolate-covered bacon bon-bons at his stand on California's Santa Cruz Boardwalk. For the more sophisticated, restaurateur Don Yovicsin of Waltham, Mass., serves bacon-infused Absolut vodka (allowed to sit for four weeks' time and then filtered of the bits) (and for a Bacon Bloody Mary, add mix, a lime wedge, "barbecue rub" and a Slim Jim).

(1) A 21-year-old man fishing off Jones Beach on New York's Long Island in July was killed when he yanked his line back too quickly, propelling his 3-ounce lead sinker out of the water, where it struck his head and penetrated his brain. (2) A 32-year-old man lounging beside a pool in Leland, N.C., in August was killed when a burst of wind dislodged a canopy umbrella, thrusting the tip into his skull. (3) A 79-year-old motorist watching a crane lift a steeple onto a new church in Oklahoma City in July was killed when the crane toppled over and crushed his car.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

Deja Vu: The two states whose electoral votes decided the presidential races in 2000 (Florida) and 2004 (Ohio) are provoking anxiety this time around, also. In Palm Beach County, Fla. (home of the "butterfly ballot" in 2000), 3,478 optical-scan votes disappeared between primary-night counting on Aug. 26 and the official recount a few days later (flipping the outcome of at least one race). Also in August, Ohio officials claimed that they had fixed a software-logic tabulating error in Premier Election Systems machines used in some counties (but, according to a spokesman for Premier, a company formerly known as Diebold, that error had been present for the last 10 years). (Also in August, the Ohio secretary of state ordered election officials to end the practice of taking voting machines home at night during election season "for safekeeping," even though such "sleepovers" had been encouraged in order to protect the machines from tampering.)

The New York Post spotted several Manhattan businesses that tried to appeal to nudists this summer with special events. Among the most challenging were John Ordover's monthly dinners at selected restaurants (such as the Mercantile Grill), where about 50 diners eat and drink naked (served by the restaurant's regular, clothed staff), and the Naked Comedy Showcase at People's Improv Theater in the Chelsea district, where once a month, naked comedians perform (and a section in the audience is reserved for naked patrons).

-- In July, microbiologists writing in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences reported that the Malaysian pen-tailed tree shrew subsists on a diet of fermented palm nectar that is roughly the equivalent of 100 percent beer. "They seem to have developed some type of mechanism to deal with that high level of alcohol and not get drunk," according to one researcher, who hoped further study could help with human cases of alcohol poisoning (and other rare instances in which people ingest alcohol for purposes other than getting drunk).

-- Intelligent Design: Among the photo exhibits at New York City's Museum of Sex in July was the display of the genitalia of the spotted hyena, which was described by Bloomberg News: "(B)oth the male and female have penises. The female, it turns out, has a scrotal sack, too. For reproductive purposes, the male transfers his sperm through the female's penis, which doubles as her clitoris." Other exhibits included "Gay Dolphin Blow-Hole Sex" and a "Deer Threesome," featuring a "Bambi" with two stags. Said the museum's curator, the exhibit simply compensates for museums' traditional animal exhibits in which depictions of genitalia are suppressed.

-- Kay Underwood, 20, of Barrow upon Soar, England, risks momentarily collapsing every time she laughs, according to an August report in London's Daily Telegraph. Her cataplexy causes a sudden, dramatic weakening of muscles when she experiences strong emotions, including joy, excitement and anger. She said she has collapsed as many as 40 times in a day, and sometimes her friends will good-naturedly try to make her giggle, but she said she has learned tricks to protect herself, "such as locking my knees together or grabbing on to something."

-- Some dermatologists have created significant divides between their "medical" patients (acne, cancer) and their beauty-treatment patients (plastic surgery, Botox), with the latter offered luxurious waiting rooms, frequent telephone contacts and more personalization of treatment. One doctor told The New York Times in July, "You have to class it up for those patients," who pay their own way and with minimal paperwork. Besides, said another, "If you do an extreme makeover on someone, you are a hero."

-- In a July Newsweek review of "faith-based" mutual funds (whose managers invest only in companies whose work does not offend their particular spiritual values), big short-term losers included one Mennonite fund emphasizing pacifism (eschewing high-performing military and energy stocks), but big winners lately were Islamic funds. Not only do they screen out the "sin" companies (tobacco, alcohol) and sellers of pork products, but they avoid financial-services stock (based on the Quran's prohibition against borrowing or lending if interest is charged) and thus were unscathed by the initial mortgage-market meltdown.

(1) Ian Brady, now age 70 and perhaps the most famous British murderer of the 20th century, complained recently that the psychiatric inmates housed with him in Ashworth Hospital still qualify for government allowances up to the equivalent of about $200 per week whereas prison transfers like him receive "only" one-fourth that amount. (2) After completing a six-year sentence for aggravated burglary in 2006, an unidentified male inmate at Peterborough prison has for two years refused to leave, for fear of being deported, and will continue to remain behind bars indefinitely, costing the government the equivalent of about $60,000 a year to house him.

(1) "Elephant beats heroin habit with detox" (Reuters, 9-4-08) (Chinese poachers had spiked his bananas with heroin to control him). (2) "Court grants injunction to stop woman cutting off man's penis" (Daily Telegraph, Sydney, 8-15-08) (He told the judge in Darwin, Australia, that to escape her pursuit recently, he had to hide in tall grass). (3) "Police: Chihuahuas provoke baton attack on nude beach" (KGW-TV website, 7-28-08) (A naked beachcomber, 74, near Portland, Ore., may have overreacted to two Chihuahuas advancing on him).

A wave of motorists fondling themselves in drive-thru lanes of Seattle-area espresso stands continues, police said, despite a recent arrest. In August, an employee of Java Girls in Parkland, Wash., disgusted with a bra-wearing man, tossed boiling water in his face (to which he reportedly responded, "Oooh, yeah" and drove off). In September, a 20-year-old driver admitted several fondling incidents from February to May in Monroe, Wash., but expressed relief that police caught him. "I need to stop," he said, "and I can't do it alone. Once you start, it's hard to stop."

An unidentified man smashed a 6-foot hole in the wall of the Name Brand Clothing Store in Tulsa, Okla., in August and labored through the night to bust open the safe, but according to the surveillance video, he finally gave up six hours later after making only a small hole in the safe. However, when the store manager arrived later that morning, he found the safe unlocked, probably the result of his forgetfulness the night before, and no contents were missing. Though the crime was unsuccessful, the manager offered to hire the robber, based just on his diligent work ethic.

Drivers recently hit by their own cars: (1) A woman parking her car in Athens, Ga., in July, opened the door to tell another driver that she was not leaving her space when she fell out and was run over. (2) A man in his 60s was pushing his car out of a ditch in July in Montreal, Quebec, when it started to roll, and when he jumped in to hit the brakes, the car jerked, ejected him and ran over him. (3) A 24-year-old man, fleeing police in a stolen U-Haul truck in April in Royal Palm Beach, Fla., leaped from the vehicle but failed to clear the door, sending him out head-first, where he was crushed to death.

(1) Mr. Angel Medina, 24, was found dead underneath a bridge in San Juan, Puerto Rico, in August, and in accordance with what his brother said were his longstanding wishes, he was embalmed in a standing position, in a corner of his mother's living room, for a three-day wake (wearing his Yankees cap and sunglasses). (2) As police cars in Minnetonka, Minn., chased suspected burglar Grayson Clevenger, 27, an officer who knew Clevenger's cell-phone number called to persuade him to give up. Clevenger picked up the phone and, according to officers, yelled, "Dude, I can't talk! I'm being chased by the police!" He was captured a short time later.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)