While Iran's leaders saber-rattle and quote the Quran, the country's multitudes of young adults are embracing New Age self-help, as exemplified by the best-selling books and sold-out seminars of motivational guru Alireza Azmandian, according to a June Wall Street Journal dispatch from Tehran. Though young adults in Turkey and Egypt have stepped up their religious fervor, that is not so in Iran. Said a 25-year-old aerospace engineer: "Religion doesn't offer me answers anymore," but "(Azmandian's) seminar changed my life." The Oprah Winfrey-touted book "The Secret" is in its 10th printing in Farsi; yoga and meditation are big; and advertising abounds on the virtues of feng shui and financial management.

-- Randall Popkes, 41, and his son Joshua Williams, 22, were arrested in West Des Moines, Iowa, in May and charged with an attempted safecracking at the Des Moines Golf and Country Club. A security officer had noted their license plate as they sped away after a frustrating session in which they had cut into the safe but could not open it. In fact, they had left behind a note for management, according to the Des Moines Register: "(Expletive) you and your safe."

-- At press time, a court in Athens, Greece, was considering a challenge brought by three residents of the island of Lesbos in the Aegian Sea to prevent a Greek gay and lesbian organization from referring to homosexual women as lesbians, arguing that such usage insults their heritage, since Lesbos residents have traditionally been called "Lesbians." On the other hand, Lesbos was also the birthplace of the poet Sappho, a heroic woman among gays and lesbians for her early references to her love of other women.

-- The Panda Chinese Restaurant in York, Pa., was already in trouble in an early June city sanitation inspection, with demerits piling up because of accumulated grease, insects in the seating area and rotting lettuce, according to a York Daily Record report. Then, in the middle of an inspector's visit, he came upon a live snapping turtle in the restaurant's main sink. Said the inspector, "I had to sit down and gather myself before I could speak." The manager said he had seen the turtle outside and had brought it in for safety: "It was wrong that we put it in the sink."

-- Oops! (1) A June accident with nitric acid at the Albion Chemicals plant in Belfast, Northern Ireland, caused the release of an ominous cloud, but authorities said it was predominantly nitrous oxide, otherwise known as "laughing gas." An Associated Press dispatch reported no unusual "giggling" in the area. (2) A scheduling accident at the Eagle Trace Golf Course in Broomfield, Colo., in June caused insufficient time between the end of an early morning junior golf association event (kids age 7 to 12) and a noontime charity tournament sponsored by Shotgun Willie's strip club, with scantily clad dancers cavorting around the course. One mother told WUSA-TV that her little golfer asked, "Mom, why is she only wearing underwear?"

-- Spare the Gun (Hammer), Spoil the Child: (1) Darrell Walker, 30, was arrested in Bartlesville, Okla., in May after his 8-year-old son told police that his dad routinely shoots him (and his younger sister) in the leg with a BB gun if they misbehave. (2) Robert Cisero, 46, was arrested in Medford, Ore., in June after (according to police) he hit his teenage daughter in the ankle with a hammer to feign a "skating" injury, for which she could get a prescription for pain medication, which he then commandeered.

-- The New York Daily News reported in June that members of gangs such as the Bloods and the Latin Kings, who become parents, are routinely having their babies "blessed" into their gangs in religious ceremonies in which the swaddling clothes are the gang's colors. (The Bloods call such babies "Blood drops" or "Blood stains.") The Daily News described the parents "teaching chubby little fingers to (make) gang signs" even before the toddlers learn to talk. One Episcopal priest said he has "blessed in" about 300 such kids to two gangs.

(1) In July, the Utah Supreme Court ordered a new trial for Erik Low, now 40, ruling that a jury should have considered the possibility of a lesser crime than manslaughter in the 2003 shooting death of a man who had just 15 seconds earlier during a fight given Low what was described as a violent wedgie. (2) In June, a 20-year-old window cleaner on Australia's Gold Coast survived a nine-story plunge, suffering only a broken arm and, from falling on his harness, a super wedgie.

(1) In May, NASA sought subjects for a study into the effects of microgravity on the human body and offered each participant $17,000 to lie in bed for 90 straight days. (2) In April, England's University of East Anglia advertised for subjects for a study of whether a natural compound found in cocoa could cut the risk of heart disease among diabetic women; the participants must be willing to eat chocolates every day for a year.

(1) In Augusta, Maine, in June, Marshall Crandall IV, 39, was sentenced to serve nine months in jail for violating a domestic protection order by reuniting with his girlfriend, even though the woman pleaded with the judge, arguing that the altercations were mutual and that it could just have well been she who was charged with assault that night. Said she, "I picked him up three or four times and slammed him on the ground." (2) Scott Sullivan, 35, was arrested in Van Buren, Ark., in June and charged with kidnapping and assaulting his mother. He told police that he got upset when he learned that her dog had killed his pet skunk.

Not Ready for Prime Time: According to police in Canton, Mich., Joseph Webster, 54, walked into a Comerica bank in June, gave the teller a robbery note and claimed he had a bomb strapped to his body. A nearby customer overheard, pulled out his licensed 9 mm handgun and told Webster: "You are not robbing this bank." Webster insisted: "But I have a bomb." The customer: "I don't care." Webster then quietly sat down in a chair, where he remained until police arrived.

Artist Martin Creed won Britain's 2001 Turner Prize for his highly acclaimed installation of a lightbulb going off and on indefinitely in an otherwise-empty room. His latest exhibition ("Work No. 850"), at the Tate Britain in July, consists of a runner sprinting through one of the galleries every 30 seconds. The museum's director described Work No. 850 as a "compelling," "lyrical" piece that "upsets any preconceived ideas" of moving through an art space. News of the Weird's most recent encounter with Creed came in 1996 when he released his "Sick Film," consisting only of shots of people vomiting on camera, and at the time, he said he was considering a similar s-word film, to consist only of people performing an even less tasteful bodily function on camera.

The U.S. Supreme Court reaffirmed in June that defendants have a constitutional right to cross-examine witnesses against them and must get a new trial if denied that right. The challenger was Dwayne Giles, who had tried during his trial to keep incriminating statements by his girlfriend out of court, in that she was not available for him to cross-examine. The reason for her unavailability was that she is dead, and Giles was being tried for her murder. Hence, her statements suggesting Giles' motive cannot be used in court.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

After languishing for two years in the Irish legislature, the Nuclear Test Ban Bill of 2006 has recently been rethought and refurbished, according to a June report in the Irish Independent. Originally, the bill codified the U.N. Test Ban Treaty, adding some provisions specific to Ireland. Among those additions was the punishment for anyone detonating a nuclear weapon in Ireland: up to 12 months in jail and/or a fine of up to 5,000 euros (then, around $6,500), along with language that might even allow a person found guilty to apply for first-offense probation. The proposed punishment this time is expected to be considerably harsher.

-- In the 1920s, when inmate "chain gangs" were in their heyday, Alabama sheriffs were allotted a prison meal budget of $1.75 per prisoner per day, with thrifty sheriffs allowed to pocket any excess for themselves. According to a May Associated Press investigation, the policy, and the amount, are unchanged to this day in 55 of the state's 67 counties, and also unchanged is the fact that sheriffs have cut the menus so cleverly or drastically that some sheriffs still make money on the deal. (The per-meal fee under the National School Lunch program for low-income students is $2.47.)

-- Mr. Gokhan Mutlu filed a lawsuit in May against JetBlue Airways for more than $2 million after he was ordered out of his seat by the captain during a full New York-to-California flight and told to stand up or go "hang out in the bathroom" for the duration. Mutlu had only a gift ticket, and an off-duty JetBlue employee who had originally agreed to sit in the cockpit jump seat changed her mind and thus was given Mutlu's seat. Mutlu pointed out that he was un-seat-belted during turbulence and during the landing.

-- Not Exactly Hard Time: (1) In May, St. Catharines, Ontario, judge Stephen Glithero released Wayne Ryczak on 14 months' jail time already served, as punishment for strangling a prostitute in his trailer home. He claimed self-defense (improbable in such a strangulation), but had pleaded guilty to manslaughter, requesting via his lawyer a two-year sentence. (2) Last year, Stephanie Grissom, driving 71 mph in a 55-mph zone, accidentally struck and killed a Howard County, Md., traffic officer when he stepped onto the highway to motion for her to pull over. In May 2008, the case was closed, with Grissom fined $310 and three points on her record.

-- Vendors in Qingdao, China (where Olympic sailing events will take place in August), were reportedly selling, as unofficial Olympics souvenirs, key rings with heart-shaped plastic charms that contained live (at least temporarily) goldfish suspended in water. Animal protection advocates were incredulous, according to a June report in the Sydney Morning Herald.

-- Denmark has already aroused Muslims' ire for a Danish newspaper's publishing blasphemous caricatures of the Prophet Mohammad in 2006, and in June, the country's public broadcast channel DR1 sponsored an Internet-voting contest to choose among women (presumably Muslims) modeling headscarves. The winner was 18-year-old Huda Falah, who is Iraqi and one of the 46 women who submitted photographs. DR1 insisted that the contest was more about fashionable headscarves than a beauty contest for the models. Among the prizes: an iPod and a subscription to Muslim Girl magazine.

-- "This proves that we are normal," said the founder of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association in May during the organization's event in a Philadelphia suburb. The sight of rugged cowboys and cowgirls, she said, dispels some sexual stereotypes that have plagued gays and lesbians. However, among the events (besides traditional steer riding and calf roping) was "goat dressing" (with pairs of contestants trying to put hot-pink underwear on an uncooperative goat in the shortest time, according to a Reuters report).

-- After motorist Mark Holder, 30, had a seizure in Boynton Beach, Fla., in June, his car swerved off the road and smashed into a sign, badly injuring him. Emergency workers arrived and, protecting against possible nerve damage, attempted to put a brace on to stabilize his neck. However, Holder became combative, and sheriff's deputies reported that they were forced to shoot Holder "several times" with a Taser to calm him enough that the brace could be fitted.

(1) In Singapore in June, a 36-year-old man was sentenced to 14 years in jail and 18 strokes of the cane after he was convicted of 23 counts of molesting women on elevators and other places, mostly by sniffing their armpits. (2) In June, a masochist, with tastes similar to those of the Ontario man reported here three months ago, was sentenced to four years in jail for encouraging two underage girls near Bicester, England, to kick him repeatedly in the groin until he could no longer handle the pain.

Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) James Milsom, 21, was arrested in Avon and Somerset, England, in June after a hidden camera in a police bait car caught him breaking in and swiping the GPS device. It was his third arrest in four months for breaking into a police bait car to steal a GPS (caught by the hidden camera each time). (2) In June, Reno, Nev., homicide detective David Jenkins was sitting in his unmarked car (but one with emergency lights on the dash and a police radio blaring away) when Mercedes Green, 19, hopped in and, yelling to be heard over the radio, propositioned him for sex. "You're not the police, are you?" she asked. "What do you think," he said. "I didn't think so," the streetwise woman replied. After her arrest, Green explained: "You wear glasses, and I didn't think police could wear them."

Luxury toilets were introduced in hygiene-sensitive Japan in the 1970s, and within 20 years, models were available to automatically heat bottom-splashing water, take health readings of bodily emissions, and supply music and "white noise" to mask the movements, as News of the Weird noted in 1990 and 2001. Though the world is more environmentally conscious, and Japan is among the leaders among industrial nations in energy conservation, the country has not been able to shake its obsession with smart toilets, which consume more electricity than dishwashers or clothes dryers, according to a June Washington Post dispatch from Tokyo. Said one energy consultant, "For hygiene-conscious Japanese, the romance with these toilets is equivalent to the American romance with the Hummer."

A 28-year-old woman, unnamed by the Kitsap (Wash.) Sun, was arrested in May and charged with stealing her husband's wallet and subsequently assaulting an arresting officer. According to deputies, she had awakened her husband, 24, demanding sex, but he had rebuffed her by insisting that from that point on, the two of them would quit smoking, drinking and cussing, limit their sexual activities and be "good Christians." Part or all of that did not sit well with the wife, and police arrived to witness her screaming (described as "blood-curdling"), swearing, slamming doors and complaining about her unsatisfactory sex life, while carrying around a large bottle of whiskey. At one point, she allegedly tossed the couple's 20-pound dog at a deputy (who caught it safely).

(1) Two young men and a juvenile were charged in May in Houston with corpse abuse after they allegedly dug into a grave in a cemetery in the town of Humble, removed the head, and took it away in order to use it as a bong for smoking marijuana. (2) Jorge Espinal, 44, was taken to a hospital in Fort Worth, Texas, in May after an early-morning incident (alcohol was involved) in which he used a loaded handgun to scratch a hand-to-reach itch on his back and accidentally shot himself.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

China continues to prepare for the Olympics: Officials have issued a standard chanting routine that all Chinese spectators should employ during competitions (translated as "Olympics! Add fuel!" with two claps and then both thumbs up, then "China! Add fuel!" with two more claps and raised fists, according to a June Reuters dispatch). ("Add fuel" is apparently a traditional motivational chant in China.) Also preparing was Dr. Wei Sheng, the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking 1,790 needles in his head at one time. In June he stuck himself with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors.

-- Dozens of spas operate in Russia's Caucasus Mountains region, exploiting the mineral springs in the area, and apparently colonic treatment is a specialty. In fact, in June, the Mashuk-Akva Term spa in Zheleznovodsk unveiled a large monument to the enema (an 800-pound brass syringe bulb held aloft by three angels). "Let's beat constipation," read one banner. Said the sculptor: "This device is eternal; it will never change. We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

-- The reputation of the Japanese for being humble is falling to Western norms among primary-school parents, according to a June dispatch from Tokyo in The Times of London. "Across Japan, teachers are reporting an astonishing change in the character of parents" as they push for their children's "rights." In one school's performance of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," there were 25 Snow Whites after "monster parents" bullied officials into admitting that it was not fair to have just one kid in the title role.

-- His countrymen are too polite, wrote French doctor Frederic Saldmann in his new book (translated as "Spring Cleaning") and can improve their health by uninhibitedly embracing their bodily functions that he said too many Frenchmen suppress. According to a May dispatch from Paris in London's Daily Telegraph, Saldmann wrote that the intestines, stomach and esophagus benefit if gas is expelled promptly and pores freely excrete toxins. In fact, he wrote, doing away with antiperspirants also facilitates "a certain number of messages that are potentially very attractive to the opposite sex."

-- A 50-year-old woman, married for 30 years, asked for a divorce last October (according to the Al-Arabiya news Web site in Dubai) because her husband had peeked at her face under her veil as she slept. The man apologized and said he would never do it again, but she said the customs of her village (near the Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt) dictate that he had contaminated the marriage by seeing her face.

-- A bus service that shuttles gamblers from Colorado Springs to nearby mountain-town casinos has been awarded $382,000 in Homeland Security anti-terrorism grants, according to a May report by the Colorado Springs Gazette. Federal officials said the grants were part of the Infrastructure Protection Activities program, with the money used for "vehicle security," GPS systems and training drivers, which means, according to a bus company official, teaching them "to be aware of their surroundings, of what's unusual and the people on board."

-- Officials in Chongqing, China, abruptly shut down the lifestyle magazine New Travel Weekly in May after it published a photo spread of sexy women in lingerie posing in the rubble at one of the country's recent earthquake sites. The editorial staff was fired and the company ordered into "rectification," which is apparently the process of self-examination of what in the world the company might have been thinking.

-- You've Been Left Behind LLC has begun offering an e-mail service to Christians who are preparing for the Rapture (in which all "true" Christians ascend to heaven to meet the Lord). Since the Rapture may commence suddenly, those chosen may have to depart without saying goodbye to their less worthy friends and besides will leave their property behind during the ensuing seven years before Armageddon. For $40 a year, Christians can maintain an e-mail list of up to 62 people who would be notified and can store encrypted electronic documents, such as PIN numbers and powers of attorney. "There won't be any bodies," the Web site warns, pointing out an advantage of its service, "so probate court (would) take (all) seven years (just) to clear your assets to your next of kin."

-- "Everyone knows what an ankle is," said an official of the association of Texas medical doctors. Not so, said a lawyer representing Texas podiatrists: "You don't have an ankle. The foot actually includes the ankle." A state appeals court in March sided with the medical doctors, but the podiatrists say it's not over yet and that they may continue to treat ankles even though they are licensed to work only on feet.

-- When the recent Midwest rains hit Wisconsin, Lake Delton overflowed and completely drained out, into the lower-lying Wisconsin River, and the owner of a Lake Delton resort filed an insurance claim for "loss of income" since guests, realizing there was no "lake," had canceled their plans. So far, the resort's insurer has refused to pay because the whole thing was started by uninsured "flooding," even though the only reason for income loss is that Lake Delton is dry.

Since 2004 the Palmerton Area (Pa.) School Board has paid $45,000 for the special education of Rebecca Maykish, 17, who has an apparently devastating fear of "school," dating back to fourth grade. The mere act of spending time in a classroom, her mother says, causes her to cry nonstop for hours. The board, acknowledging her "generalized anxiety disorder," agreed to accommodate her illness by specially funding things broadly educational or therapeutic, and so far that includes not only tutors and software but modeling classes and travel, to build her self-esteem. The Morning Call of Allentown reported in May that, with the board's funds depleted, and Rebecca's continuing to drop out shortly after each school year begins, the government has begun to impose truancy fines on her mother.

-- Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Police quickly made an arrest in Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) in May after a Pepsi machine was stolen from a liquor store; the distinct dolly tracks led from the store to the man's home, and besides, he had left the machine in his front yard. (2) The armed robber of a Fifth Third Bank in Orlando, Fla., is still at large, but based on the surveillance video, a sheriff's detective said the man was "probably not familiar with handguns" because he appeared to be pointing his at himself during the robbery.

-- Dentist Who Hates It When That Happens: Anne Greer filed a lawsuit in June against Winter Park, Fla., dentist Wesley Meyers over the death of her father last year during procedures to secure his dentures with implants. During the October 2006 visit, Meyers had accidentally dropped a screwdriver down the patient's throat, which required a colonoscopy to remove. The man returned the following year to give Meyers another chance (against his daughter's wishes), and during that procedure, Meyers accidentally dropped a torque wrench down his throat, creating problems that ultimately proved fatal.

(1) Shauntel Mayo, 29, was convicted in Tyler, Texas, in May of forcing four children (the youngest beginning at age 5) to perform sex acts on stage for something called the Mineola Swingers Club. Four other adults are scheduled for trial (including Patrick "Booger Red" Kelly, 41), even though Mayo's jury deliberated only four minutes before finding her guilty. (2) Todd Barkau, 35, and a 44-year-old woman were indicted in May in Kansas City, Mo., on charges of training the woman's daughter (beginning at age 12) to become a dominatrix whose services were for sale on the Internet.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)