China continues to prepare for the Olympics: Officials have issued a standard chanting routine that all Chinese spectators should employ during competitions (translated as "Olympics! Add fuel!" with two claps and then both thumbs up, then "China! Add fuel!" with two more claps and raised fists, according to a June Reuters dispatch). ("Add fuel" is apparently a traditional motivational chant in China.) Also preparing was Dr. Wei Sheng, the Chinese man who holds the Guinness Book record of sticking 1,790 needles in his head at one time. In June he stuck himself with 2,008 pins in the Olympic design and colors.

-- Dozens of spas operate in Russia's Caucasus Mountains region, exploiting the mineral springs in the area, and apparently colonic treatment is a specialty. In fact, in June, the Mashuk-Akva Term spa in Zheleznovodsk unveiled a large monument to the enema (an 800-pound brass syringe bulb held aloft by three angels). "Let's beat constipation," read one banner. Said the sculptor: "This device is eternal; it will never change. We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

-- The reputation of the Japanese for being humble is falling to Western norms among primary-school parents, according to a June dispatch from Tokyo in The Times of London. "Across Japan, teachers are reporting an astonishing change in the character of parents" as they push for their children's "rights." In one school's performance of "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," there were 25 Snow Whites after "monster parents" bullied officials into admitting that it was not fair to have just one kid in the title role.

-- His countrymen are too polite, wrote French doctor Frederic Saldmann in his new book (translated as "Spring Cleaning") and can improve their health by uninhibitedly embracing their bodily functions that he said too many Frenchmen suppress. According to a May dispatch from Paris in London's Daily Telegraph, Saldmann wrote that the intestines, stomach and esophagus benefit if gas is expelled promptly and pores freely excrete toxins. In fact, he wrote, doing away with antiperspirants also facilitates "a certain number of messages that are potentially very attractive to the opposite sex."

-- A 50-year-old woman, married for 30 years, asked for a divorce last October (according to the Al-Arabiya news Web site in Dubai) because her husband had peeked at her face under her veil as she slept. The man apologized and said he would never do it again, but she said the customs of her village (near the Saudi city of Khamis Mushayt) dictate that he had contaminated the marriage by seeing her face.

-- A bus service that shuttles gamblers from Colorado Springs to nearby mountain-town casinos has been awarded $382,000 in Homeland Security anti-terrorism grants, according to a May report by the Colorado Springs Gazette. Federal officials said the grants were part of the Infrastructure Protection Activities program, with the money used for "vehicle security," GPS systems and training drivers, which means, according to a bus company official, teaching them "to be aware of their surroundings, of what's unusual and the people on board."

-- Officials in Chongqing, China, abruptly shut down the lifestyle magazine New Travel Weekly in May after it published a photo spread of sexy women in lingerie posing in the rubble at one of the country's recent earthquake sites. The editorial staff was fired and the company ordered into "rectification," which is apparently the process of self-examination of what in the world the company might have been thinking.

-- You've Been Left Behind LLC has begun offering an e-mail service to Christians who are preparing for the Rapture (in which all "true" Christians ascend to heaven to meet the Lord). Since the Rapture may commence suddenly, those chosen may have to depart without saying goodbye to their less worthy friends and besides will leave their property behind during the ensuing seven years before Armageddon. For $40 a year, Christians can maintain an e-mail list of up to 62 people who would be notified and can store encrypted electronic documents, such as PIN numbers and powers of attorney. "There won't be any bodies," the Web site warns, pointing out an advantage of its service, "so probate court (would) take (all) seven years (just) to clear your assets to your next of kin."

-- "Everyone knows what an ankle is," said an official of the association of Texas medical doctors. Not so, said a lawyer representing Texas podiatrists: "You don't have an ankle. The foot actually includes the ankle." A state appeals court in March sided with the medical doctors, but the podiatrists say it's not over yet and that they may continue to treat ankles even though they are licensed to work only on feet.

-- When the recent Midwest rains hit Wisconsin, Lake Delton overflowed and completely drained out, into the lower-lying Wisconsin River, and the owner of a Lake Delton resort filed an insurance claim for "loss of income" since guests, realizing there was no "lake," had canceled their plans. So far, the resort's insurer has refused to pay because the whole thing was started by uninsured "flooding," even though the only reason for income loss is that Lake Delton is dry.

Since 2004 the Palmerton Area (Pa.) School Board has paid $45,000 for the special education of Rebecca Maykish, 17, who has an apparently devastating fear of "school," dating back to fourth grade. The mere act of spending time in a classroom, her mother says, causes her to cry nonstop for hours. The board, acknowledging her "generalized anxiety disorder," agreed to accommodate her illness by specially funding things broadly educational or therapeutic, and so far that includes not only tutors and software but modeling classes and travel, to build her self-esteem. The Morning Call of Allentown reported in May that, with the board's funds depleted, and Rebecca's continuing to drop out shortly after each school year begins, the government has begun to impose truancy fines on her mother.

-- Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Police quickly made an arrest in Hughes, Ark. (pop. 1,800) in May after a Pepsi machine was stolen from a liquor store; the distinct dolly tracks led from the store to the man's home, and besides, he had left the machine in his front yard. (2) The armed robber of a Fifth Third Bank in Orlando, Fla., is still at large, but based on the surveillance video, a sheriff's detective said the man was "probably not familiar with handguns" because he appeared to be pointing his at himself during the robbery.

-- Dentist Who Hates It When That Happens: Anne Greer filed a lawsuit in June against Winter Park, Fla., dentist Wesley Meyers over the death of her father last year during procedures to secure his dentures with implants. During the October 2006 visit, Meyers had accidentally dropped a screwdriver down the patient's throat, which required a colonoscopy to remove. The man returned the following year to give Meyers another chance (against his daughter's wishes), and during that procedure, Meyers accidentally dropped a torque wrench down his throat, creating problems that ultimately proved fatal.

(1) Shauntel Mayo, 29, was convicted in Tyler, Texas, in May of forcing four children (the youngest beginning at age 5) to perform sex acts on stage for something called the Mineola Swingers Club. Four other adults are scheduled for trial (including Patrick "Booger Red" Kelly, 41), even though Mayo's jury deliberated only four minutes before finding her guilty. (2) Todd Barkau, 35, and a 44-year-old woman were indicted in May in Kansas City, Mo., on charges of training the woman's daughter (beginning at age 12) to become a dominatrix whose services were for sale on the Internet.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

Faced with its Alzheimer's residents' tendency to wander away, the Benrath Senior Centre in Dusseldorf, Germany, came up with a novel approach: a fake bus stop (an exact replica of a real one) out front. Straying residents might be attracted to the familiar colors and design of the kiosk (because long-term memory is typically still robust) and wait there for a bus instead of trying to "go home" on foot. But short-term, the resident is typically unaware of how long he has been waiting and will remain until a Centre employee sees him and can guide him back into the home (which often is easy because the resident has by then forgotten why he is sitting there, according to a June dispatch from Berlin in London's Daily Telegraph).

-- Minor league pitcher John Odom was traded in May by the Calgary Vipers of the independent Golden Baseball League to the Laredo Broncos of the independent United League, but his exchanged counterpart balked at leaving the U.S. for the Canadian team. The clubs huddled and announced that Odom would still report to Laredo, which would send Calgary not a player in return, but 10 bats.

-- Car dealer Walter Moore of Max Motors in Butler, Mo. (an hour south of Kansas City), announced in May a free premium to every car purchaser: either $250 worth of gasoline or a gift certificate for a handgun. He told KMBC-TV that 80 percent of customers choose the gun.

-- Technically, Macie McCartney was born on May 3 of this year in Laredo, Texas, but that appearance outside the womb was actually her second. When a large tumor showed up on Macie six months into her mother's pregnancy, surgeons actually pulled the fetus almost completely out of the uterus so they could excise the growth and then re-inserted the fetus. Following that rare procedure, the birth was normal, according to Dr. Darrell Cass, who explained it in June to viewers of NBC's "Today" show.

-- Ironies: (1) Evolution scientists at Switzerland's University of Lausanne reported in June that over the course of 30 to 40 generations, ordinary flies tend to live longer if they're stupid. The researchers guessed that heightened neural activity overtaxed their systems. (2) Cardiologists at Hartford (Conn.) Hospital, writing in the June Annals of Emergency Medicine, described a patient suffering from irregular heartbeat whose rhythm was restored to normal following a Tasering by police.

-- BBC filmmakers announced in June that they had captured, for perhaps the first time ever, an episode of pandas mating in the wild, for the "Wild China" TV series. A male is shown fighting off other males to coax a female down from a tree. What follows that, said producer Glenn Maxwell, are "loud calls which will make viewers think instantly of the Wookie character from the 'Star Wars' movies. I liken it to Chewbaccas in a pub brawl." Eventually, the female descends, and the pair get to work, "breathing hard and panting," said Maxwell. "You can see the steam coming out of their mouths."

-- Animals in Trouble: (1) China's Xinhua news agency reported in March that a farmer in Jilin province had been found with a tortoise that is addicted to nicotine. The farmer, a smoker himself, said he was surprised when the pet puffed on a cigarette he had playfully stuck in its mouth, and since then, he occasionally shares smokes with it. (2) Magistrates in Sunderland, England, accepted a guilty plea in June from Samantha Pearson and David Step for animal cruelty. The couple had relocated quarters last October but left behind a pet, Milly, to starve to death. Milly was a pet rat.

(1) High school soccer coach Sanford Kaplan, 57, was arrested in Lincoln, Neb., in May and charged with having imprisoned several underage boys in sessions in his garage in which they were bound, gagged and suspended from the rafters. (2) Track coach Lawrence "Poppy" Vincent, 74, of Bracken Christian School in Bulverde, Texas, was arrested in May and charged with indecent exposure to an undercover police officer; Vincent was wearing floral women's panties and a bra. (3) Football coach Steve Halpin, 52, was permitted to retire quietly in June from Mesquite High School near Dallas after officials discovered that he had pawned 270 items since January 2007, including school equipment (which, in each case, he had later retrieved from the pawnshop).

Washington, D.C., police chief Cathy Lanier decided in May to rehire 17 cops who had been fired for misconduct. The cases against the officers were solid, she noted, except that their hearings before a police trial board had not been held within the required 55 days after the charges were filed. D.C. courts and arbitrators had previously reinstated officers where the 55-day deadline was not met, and Lanier felt she had no choice. (However, the following week, Lanier announced she was beginning the process of re-firing the 17 officers, this time because they would be unable to perform their jobs since they could not be credible witnesses in criminal cases because of their records.)

(1) "There's really no way to explain people's fetishes," said University of Cincinnati campus police Capt. Karen Patterson, describing the arrest of Dwight Pannell, 43, for allegedly crawling under a library table, squirting liquid from a syringe on a female student's shoe, and photographing it. Pannell told police he was just trying out his new camera. (2) In February, police officer Michael Curtin, 36, was removed from the force in Munhall, Pa., and in April was charged with offering two underage girls $1,000 each to let him suck their toes.

Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) Sharon Platt allegedly stole about $5,000 from her employer, Murphy Motors of Williston, N.D., recently and left town. She was apprehended in Pittsburgh in May after she applied for a job and listed Murphy Motors as a reference, and her old employer alerted Pittsburgh police. (2) Charles Ray Fuller, 21, was arrested in Fort Worth, Texas, in April after he took a blank check belonging to his girlfriend and wrote it out to himself for $360,000,000,000.00, which he presented to Chase Bank. He remained in character after his arrest, assuring police that the check was legitimate, offered by the girlfriend's mother to help him start a record label.

Methane's longstanding menace as a climate-altering greenhouse gas is closer than ever to being controlled, said New Zealand scientists in June after genome-mapping found the source of flatulence in ruminant animals, and the researchers said they thought they could vaccinate against it. While livestock accounts for only 2 percent of U.S. greenhouse gas, it causes over half of New Zealand's. Unless the vaccination is successful, farmers will face a huge tax on methane by 2012 brought on by the requirements of the Kyoto Protocol.

(1) When a big storm came through Alma, Ark., on the evening of May 7, residents rushed out to secure themselves inside the brand-new community shelter the town had just built with great fanfare. However, as the winds raged, the 20 people who showed up had to sprawl on the ground because the shelter was locked, and the deputy with the key was busy on a call. (2) In January, Dr. Steve Paulk announced that he would commence offering breast augmentation procedures and would be working out of Moundview Memorial Hospital in Friendship, Wis.

(Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at http://NewsoftheWeird.blogspot.com or www.NewsoftheWeird.com. Send your Weird News to WeirdNewsTips@yahoo.com or P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, FL 33679.)

A prominent chef once wrote, "If you're going to kill the animal, it seems only polite to use the whole thing," and recently restaurants specializing in such "nose-to-tail" cuisine have opened in several cities, according to a May report in Toronto's National Post. The hamburger at New York City's Tasting Room includes cow heart, liver, bone marrow, tongue, flatiron, brisket, shank and clod. New York's Casa Mono features dishes of lamb's tongue, duck hearts and the red combs on top of the rooster's head. San Francisco's Incanto serves lamb necks, pig trotters and venison kidneys. Said Incanto's executive chef, "It's about viable cuts of meat that we have thrown into the trash can for years. ... When it comes to food, we (have been) very wasteful."

(1) In April, as the police officer approached the motorist relieving himself on the side of the road in South Kitsap, Wash., the man explained that he had consumed "a bunch" of beers but was not driving drunk. According to the officer, the man said he was slurring his words because "his dentist advised him his mouth was too big for his tongue." (2) Comedian Aries Spears pleaded guilty in April to assaulting a woman in the audience during his act at a New York City club. Said prosecutor Elizabeth Pederson, ridiculing Spears' initial explanation: "You can't high-five a woman's breast."

(1) Accused triple-murderer Jeffrey Gilham earned a hung-jury verdict in April in Sydney, Australia, by relentlessly denying that he had stabbed to death his mother and father. They and Gilham's brother all died by the same knife, at about the same time, stabbed from 13 to 16 times each in the heart, by a murderer kneeling over the victims. Nevertheless, Gilham said he killed only his brother and not the parents. (2) Jessica Vasquez, 19, was arrested in Indianapolis in April for a road-rage assault, but swore she was only exercising self-defense. Her victim, an 81-year-old woman whom Vasquez said was driving too slow, had been punched in the face, yanked from her car and thrown to the ground, suffering leg fractures in 14 places.

-- The graduation ceremony in May at Naperville (Ill.) Central High School was marred by the revelation that about half of the valedictorian's speech was plagiarized from a speech on the Internet, but in this case, the principal was helpless to punish him because the principal plagiarized his own speech. (He said he forgot to ask permission of the author, a Naperville Central graduate who was in the audience that day.) The principal has been reassigned, and the valedictorian's speech was removed from the graduation video.

-- Among the items on the menu for world leaders who met in June in Rome to discuss the crisis in world hunger: pasta with a sauce of pumpkin and shrimp, veal rolls, pastry puffs with corn and mozzarella, cheese mousse, Parmesan risotto, ragout of veal with legumes and zucchini pie, washed down with fine Italian wines.

--Hardcore Ironies: (1) The prominent Texas personal injury attorney Brian Loncar, whose ubiquitous TV ads offer motorists a "strong arm" if they've been hurt by another driver's negligence, landed in critical condition after a Dallas accident caused, said police, when Loncar's 2008 Bentley failed to yield to an emergency vehicle and was struck by the speeding fire engine. (2) A Lynnwood, Wash., mother has been leading a fanciful campaign to pressure an Urban Outfitters store to remove "sexual"-type books from its shelves, such as Pornogami ("Paper-Folding for Adults"). The mother's surname closely resembles an acronym familiar to prurient young men: Marci Milfs.

-- An English professor at Dartmouth College acrimoniously left her position earlier this year to accept one at Northwestern University, but not before threatening to sue Dartmouth and seven students because they so disrespected her theories as to create a "hostile work environment." Priya Venkatesan's academic specialty is treating "science" not as natural or physical realities but as mere social or political ideas. She said some students were so "intolerant" of her teaching and so questioned her knowledge as to constitute harassment.

-- Ari Ne'eman, 20, who has Asperger's syndrome, has formed the Autistic Self Advocacy Network to persuade public opinion that those diagnosed with autism are not ill or disabled but merely different in the way they process information, in that social interaction is very difficult for them. Those without autism, say the activists, are merely "neurotypical," and a progressive society must be "neurodiverse." Notwithstanding such articulate advocates as Ne'eman, most medical professionals continue to consider autism a potentially devastating affliction, according to a June report in New York magazine.

-- Legislating Love: (1) Ecuadorian legislator Maria Soledad Vela proposed in April that the nation's constitution express the public-health principle that women have a right to enjoy sex and not be mere breeding machines. Opponents ridiculed Soledad Vela's "right to orgasm" that might lead to lawsuits against husbands. (2) In April, Tommy Tabermann, a member of Finland's parliament, submitted a bill to require one week's paid vacation a year solely for romance, to counteract the country's alarmingly high divorce rate. (3) In April, Mayor Gonzalo Navarrete of the impoverished town of Lo Prado, Chile, ordered public money for funding up to four Viagra tablets a month to men over age 60, to improve "quality of life."

-- The longtime elected clerk of court in Pasco County, Fla., Jed Pittman, admitted to WTSP-TV in May that he rarely comes to work and in fact has researched state law to learn that as long as he shows up once every 43 days, he can't be fired. (The law provides for removal by the chief judge only if the clerk is absent for "44" consecutive days.) Pittman's salary is about $136,000 a year, but he exploited another loophole in state law to "retire" in 2004, and then un-retire the next day, which brings him an additional $75,000 a year (besides the $362,000 lump sum he received on the day he "retired").

Judgment-Challenged: (1) Howard Shanholtzer was arrested in Garden Grove, Calif., in May in connection with stolen security cameras. Figuring that police might be looking for his white Mitsubishi pickup truck they probably saw on surveillance video, Shanholtzer allegedly stole another pickup, but for some reason, it was another white Mitsubishi. (2) Wesley Jumper, 36, and Shawn Stewart, 36, were arrested in Charles County, Md., in April and charged with running out of a CVS store with about $500 worth of soap and shampoo. Their easy-to-spot getaway vehicle was the Good Humor ice cream truck Stewart works from at his day job.

News of the Weird reported on "objectophilia" in June 2007, based on a prominent German sexologist's belief that people can develop romantic-type relationships with inanimate objects (beyond mere fetishists, who derive only short-term arousal from items like shoes or underwear). In May 2008, Britain's Channel Five produced a documentary with on-camera interviews with several such "mechaphiles," including a 57-year-old American from Washington state who claims his "girlfriend" is a white Volkswagen Beetle (but who said he has had "sex" with 1,000 cars), and a 54-year-old woman in Sweden who claims she has been "married" to the Berlin Wall since 1979.

A new stand appeared at the Corvallis (Ore.) Farmers Market in the last week of May, manned by Jeff Oliver, 21, lifelong resident of Oregon. His "Meet a Black Guy" booth let him mingle with shoppers and have their pictures taken with him as he tried, he said, to promote racial understanding and break stereotypes. "Corvallis is not a very diverse place," he said.