-- Artist Brock Enright of Virginia Beach, Va., originally started staging rough, vivid kidnappings, using volunteers, so that he could show them on video at New York City galleries, but found so many willing, thrill-seeking victims that he now charges $500 or more for the realistic experience (but they get to keep the videos). Enright now has two dozen "fetish terrorism" (as Time Out magazine wrote) clients and is thinking of expanding to other cities. A 25-year-old sculptor, supposedly typical of Enright's clients, said he signed on because he wanted to test his limits: "I needed to believe that (the kidnapper) was going to kill me."

-- The Lane brothers of New York, Mr. Winner Lane, 44, and Mr. Loser Lane, 41 (their actual birth names), were profiled in a July Newsday report, made more interesting by the fact that Loser is successful (a police detective in the South Bronx) and Winner is not (a history of petty crimes). A sister said she believes her parents selected "Winner" because their late father was a big baseball fan and "Loser" just to complete the pairing.

An unidentified young man walked away, apparently unhurt, after leaping from between cars of a 60 mph West Japan Railway "express" train onto the platform as it roared through a "local" station (Kobe, Japan, July). Two teenage boys were hospitalized with gunshot wounds after they and other boys encircled an older man on the street and began firing at him; the man was not hit (Michigan City, Ind., March). Canadian-born Robert Moisescu, sentenced to seven years in prison for robbing a Plattsburgh, N.Y., bank, told the judge in a letter that his time should be reduced to four years because his loot was worth only 62 percent in Canadian dollars (May).

-- New Products: British engineers James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau announced their "tooth telephone" (radio receiver implanted in the tooth, vibrating the signal to the inner ear) (June). Fort Worth (Texas) inventor Don Mims and marketer Ron Toms introduced a wooden "Gatling"-type gun that rapid-fires up to 144 rubber bands by turning a crank (though the rubber bands have to be hand-loaded) (March). South African researchers working in New Zealand said they are developing cockroach-shaped robots to do housework and yardwork (February).

-- Seattle computer programmer Boris Tsikanovsky told the San Jose Mercury News in April that he has developed software that will stop his cat, Squirrel, from bringing animal prey into the house when he's not at home. Squirrel can enter though a special door via a magnet on her collar and had been hiding dead mice and birds in the furniture. Consequently, Tsikanovsky developed imaging software, with a camera by the door, that permits Squirrel to enter only if her pixeled profile shows nothing in her mouth.

-- For a state visit to the drought-stricken southern African country of Malawi in July, Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi arrived with an entourage in two Boeing 707s, two transport aircraft and his own personal jet; two security buses loaded with machine guns, assault rifles and rocket launchers; his own mobile hospital; 600 support personnel; and 70 armored vehicles for the drive across the country (with one of the vehicles stocked with $6 million American, much of which he tossed freely to villagers who had lined his route).

-- In May, the British real estate agents Acorns in Lewisham announced the offering of a small, split-level apartment in south London for about $200,000, even though it was recently converted from an Edwardian-style public restroom and measures about 13 feet by 13 feet. Said an agent, "It is very convenient (and) has its own front door (and) you have no one above or below you, which is unusual for a flat."

-- News of the Weird reported on black in-vitro fertilization babies born to white couples in the U.S. (1998) and the Netherlands (1993). In July 2002, a white couple at a British National Health Service fertility clinic gave birth to black twins and are now fighting the clinic's effort to award the babies instead to the father whose sperm created them. Said a NHS official, "Great steps have been taken to ensure that this sort of (mix-up) never happens."

-- Among the latest crackpot legal theories: Randall Lynn Harper, 48, was sentenced to a year in jail for resisting a police officer; he had refused to accept a traffic summons because his driver's license is typed in all-uppercase letters, which he said is legally reserved only for corporations and is therefore not binding on humans (Salinas, Calif., June). David Johnston, 54, on trial for swindling investors, subsequently formed a company with the same name as the lead plaintiff suing him, then petitioned under that company's name to dismiss the case against David Johnston, and now thus believes he has been cleared (Clearwater, Fla., July).

-- Two months ago, News of the Weird reported that Cuba's Fidel Castro once had the idea of breeding miniature cows that could be kept indoors and which would supply their owners with enough milk for the family. About a month after that dispatch from Havana appeared in The Wall Street Journal, the Associated Press reported on Rockwell, Iowa, farmer Dustin Pillard, who is offering his 50 miniature cows (height: 3 feet) for sale, but primarily as pets. Said Pillard, "We're breeding just for the novelty."

Wrong Place, Wrong Time: Norman Micallef, 35, created a scene (and police attention) when his van collided with a moose near Sudbury, Ontario, in June; unfortunately for him, an officer who stopped to help noticed a certain scent ($325,000 (U.S.) worth of marijuana plants in the van). And on May 18 in Torrance, Calif., as members of rival gangs began to congregate over a shooting incident, two F-15 fighter jets flew by, low to the ground, causing the gang members to freeze in apprehension; a couple of minutes later, as the F-15s made a return low pass, the gang members quickly dispersed in panic, apparently unaware that the jets were part of the nearby Armed Forces Day parade.

Arcadia, Fla., officials, citing zoning rules, voted to make Beverly Georges dig up her late husband, Rick, from the back yard, where he had chosen to be buried so as to be united with his beloved pit bull, Bocephus (July). And Linda Montgomery of Staffordsville, Ky., complained to government officials when a dog was buried in the Highland Memorial Park cemetery, six feet from her parents' graves; asked Montgomery, "Do you think they'd (sell any plots there) if they'd said, 'Oh, by the way, there's a chance you'll be buried next to a cow?'" (June). And the family of Jim Crovetti honored his wishes and buried him at the Loving Rest Pet Cemetery, beside his Rottweiler, Lady (Indianola, Iowa, July).

In the middle of a crowd booing Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, a man was arrested, apparently only because he was holding a slice of pie (since a protester had once hit Chretien with a pie) (Vancouver). Tough-love mother Karen Paape distributed mug-shot posters of her two teenage sons, asking that anyone who sees them smoking should call the police (West Bend, Wis.). A man convicted of sexually assaulting and killing his 16-year-old nephew was sentenced to be thrown off a cliff in a sack, with the provision that if he survives, he will be hanged (Mashhad, Iran). A 20-year-old man was fatally shot wrestling for a gun with a 21-year-old man with whom he had been debating which of the two was more likely to wind up in heaven (Godley, Texas).

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or Newsweird@aol.com, or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com/.)

-- Serial killer Coral Eugene Watts, 52, thought to have been put away for life by a Houston judge in 1982, is now scheduled to be released in 2006 because of a drafting error in his plea bargain. (Because of a paucity of evidence about the 13 murders to which Watts confessed, he was allowed to plead to "aggravated" attempted murder and be sentenced to 60 years without parole, but the prosecutor neglected to specify any "aggravated"-type weapon, and an appeals court ruled that only "aggravated" crimes justify no parole; consequently, Watts has been amassing "good time" requiring early release.) (And a judge released accused murderer Corey Pernell McNeil in Newport News, Va., in July because a clerk forgot to sign the victim's death certificate; by the time the error was corrected, McNeil could not be found.)

-- In July, for the second time in a month, a village council in Punjab province approved an abuse of females that had to be stopped by the Pakistan government. Tribal law allows a convict to be pardoned if the victim's family accepts cash compensation, but the council pardoned condemned murderers who agreed to send cash and their eight teenage daughters for marriage to elderly relatives of their victims. Two weddings had already taken place by the time the police halted the deal.

New York University researchers writing in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that sex-abstaining women and women whose partners wear condoms were more frequently depressed and concluded that hormones in semen may enter the bloodstream and pep women up (May). And Concordia University (Montreal) researchers reported that their PT141 drug seems to encourage female rats to solicit sex from males three times as often as they otherwise would and are scheduling human trials (May). And Hebrew Rehabilitation Center (Boston) researchers found that the grain in beer (which men consume far more than women) must be a major reason why men suffer less osteoporosis (July).

-- Prosecutors in Pottstown, Pa., said in May that they thought that some of rap singer Karim Ali Howard's lyrics might be used against him in his upcoming trial for cocaine trafficking. (A sample: "I'm going to sell coke until you call me pope, do dirt until the lord tries to stop me, it's gonna take hundreds of bullets just to drop me.") And in June, Russell Adam Pelletier, 24, was convicted of murder in Louisa, Va., despite arguing that a supposed confession captured by undercover wire was just freestyle verse by Pelletier, who admits he writes misogynistic and violent rap music.

-- Among recent denials of child sex-abuse: Choir official Frank Jones, 51, said he was merely massaging a 13-year-old boy with slippery sports cream and that "My hand slipped" onto a "private area" (New York City, April). And teacher Carl D. Reid, 38, said he had no idea that several female elementary school students of his had crawled under his desk, and that before he knew it, they had put their hands underneath his gym shorts and touched him (Newport, R.I., May).

-- Eleven alleged members of San Francisco's Big Block street gang claimed in a court filing in June that they have a constitutional right to carry guns, pointing to a declaration last year by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft that changed the law. Previously, the Justice Department had thought that Second Amendment rights applied only to state militias, but Ashcroft declared in May 2001 that henceforth, the Second Amendment would be regarded as giving fundamental gun-toting rights to individuals. Nonetheless, in July 2002, the federal judge trying the Big Block gang declined to dismiss the gun charges.

-- The City of New York agreed in July to pay a Sri Lankan-born schoolteacher $50,000 for the "hostile work environment" he encountered in the classroom because of his nationality. The administrators said they couldn't stop students from hassling him because they were emotionally troubled "special needs" students, protected by law.

-- Claudia Huntey, 38, who has suffered from Tourette's syndrome since age 9, filed a federal lawsuit in Denver in April after she was evicted from Torrey Pines apartment complex because her frequent screams during the night disturbed her neighbors. Huntey, whose most frequent symptom is to yell "Fire!" at the top of her lungs, claimed that since those are "involuntary vocalizations" protected under federal disability law, her neighbors would just have to get used to them.

-- The Afkhami family of Gaithersburg, Md., filed a civil-rights lawsuit in July against Carnival Cruise lines, which the plaintiffs said unlawfully denied their right to travel from a Miami port with 160 live bees, in bottles, because two of their adult children on the cruise were practicing alternative medicine involving the bees. The Afkhamis said the rights were denied because of the family's Iranian nationality.

From time to time News of the Weird has reported on the fluctuating value of the late Italian artist Piero Manzoni's personal feces, which he canned in 1961, 30 grams at a time in 90 tins, as art objects (though, over the years, 45 have reportedly exploded). Their price to collectors has varied from about $28,000 for a tin in 1998 to $75,000 in 1993. In June 2002, the Tate Gallery in London excitedly announced it had purchased tin No. 004 for about $38,000. (The price of 30 grams of gold at press time was a little over $300.)

Whatever Happened to the Concept of "Hiding Out"? Police in Edwardsville, Pa., on the lookout for a stolen white car, arrested two men who were busily painting the stolen white car black in the middle of a shopping center parking lot on the town's main street (June). And in Martinsburg, W.Va., following a bank robbery, law enforcement saturated the area looking for the getaway vehicle, a red Jeep Wrangler; the next day, the vehicle was spotted, with a "For Sale" sign on it, in the front yard of a 39-year-old local woman, who police say then readily confessed to the crime (May).

An orthopedic surgeon at Guy's and St. Thomas's Hospital in London was threatened with disciplinary action for racism after he became enraged that none of the recent-immigrant nurses could understand his during-surgery instructions (July). A Brooklyn, N.Y., school official convicted of embezzling millions of dollars in federal education funds is one of seven recently convicted teachers or administrators who are still in their jobs because union-friendly arbitrators refuse to allow them to be fired, according to a New York Daily News report (June).

When a car full of suspected thieves crashed after a high-speed police chase, the one person inside who was well enough to flee on foot did, but made it only a short ways before his prosthetic leg fell off (Englewood, Ohio). Another man on trial for fleeing police in his van allegedly apologized when they caught him, reasoning that he had just bought crack cocaine and wanted to go somewhere to consume it before he went to jail (Rochester, N.Y.) Three obese and unhealthy people filed a lawsuit against McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's and KFC for addicting them to unhealthful food (New York City). A 36-year-old woman sued Delta Airlines, claiming agents publicly humiliated her after finding a "sex toy" (that she and her husband had just purchased) vibrating in her checked baggage (Clearwater, Fla.).

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or Newsweird@aol.com, or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com/.)

-- In June, after the British musical group the Planets introduced a 60-second piece of complete silence on its latest album, representatives of the estate of composer John Cage, who once wrote "4'33"" (273 seconds of silence), threatened to sue the group for ripping Cage off (but failed, said the group, to specify which 60 of the 273 seconds it thought had been pilfered). Said Mike Batt of the Planets: "Mine is a much better silent piece. I (am) able to say in one minute what (took Cage) four minutes and 33 seconds."

-- In July, a California Court of Appeal rejected as excessive an arbitration panel's award of about $8,800 per lawyer-hour in fees ($88.5 million total, all from taxpayer funds) "earned" by the attorneys who successfully challenged an unconstitutional state law. Also in July, David L. Brite of California told the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times that the Florida lawyer he had hired to find his step-grandmother's will did only a few hours' work, at most, yet intended to keep $350,000 (a 25 percent fee) because the will turned out to be worth $1.4 million.

In the last four months, residents of four cities have confronted ice-cream truck drivers over allegedly excessive noise and late hours on residential routes, and especially over the repeated playing of "Turkey in the Straw" (although "When the Saints Go Marching In" and "Yankee Doodle Dandy" have also been mentioned). Drivers were ticketed in Brunswick, Ga., and Hartford, Conn.; a protest was being organized in Green Bay, Wis.; and in London, England, about 50 ice-cream truck drivers blocked a downtown street, blaring their theme music at full blast, in protest of the city's clamping down on their licenses.

-- The Pain of Performance Art: The annual "Fierce!" festival in London in May featured Mr. "Franco B" lightly slicing up his abdomen and keeping the wounds open for six hours, inviting patrons to observe the blood in order to "re-examine their own notions of what's beautiful and what's suffering." And in May, the Artspace gallery in Sydney, Australia, featured artist Mike Parr having his only arm nailed to a wall, for 36 hours, to show "the possibility of confloating the body." And performance artist Pierre Pinoncelli chopped off a pinky finger in June at a festival in Cali, Colombia, to symbolize the nation's loss after a popular politician was recently kidnapped by the revolutionary group FARC.

-- Russia's Culture Ministry changed its mind in April and decided to take Kasimir Malevich's 1913 "Black Square" painting off the block for an impending auction. Officials at the Gelos auction house in Moscow expected the 21-square-inch work (which is, in fact, only a black square) to bring in from $2 million to $10 million.

-- For three months this spring, New York City's New Museum of Contemporary Art displayed Belgian artist Wim Delvoye's "Cloaca," a room-sized mechanical rendition of a human intestine, which at announced times would take food input and process it into various components just as the body does, including the final waste product, which was then scooped up by an attendant and flushed. Said a German curator, Delvoye's "strength" "lies in his ability to engineer conflict by combining the fine arts and folk art, and playing seriousness against irony."

-- While health insurance plans have long been cut back drastically all over the country, the self-funded insurance of the county employees of Niagara County, N.Y., reimbursed more than $1.25 million since 1999 for its workers' purely cosmetic face peels, breast implants and liposuction; taxpayers finally realized what was going on when property taxes shot up by 20 percent this year. And San Francisco elections supervisor Tammy Haygood was fired in April for cost overruns and irregularities but continues to fight for her job so that her husband can maintain his transsexual treatment under the city government's liberal employee health-care plan.

-- In March, Fremont County (Mont.) officials passed a resolution prohibiting "the presence" of grizzly bears within the boundaries of the county. And in May, a Magistrate Anurag Rastogi of the Gurgaon district near New Delhi, India, issued an order forbidding the assembly of four or more pigs. (Both the Montana resolution and the Indian order had other sections directed at any humans responsible for introducing the animals into public space, but the above provisions stand alone, seemingly directed at the animals themselves.)

St. Petersburg, Fla., police arrested Calvin Calhoun, 25, Lavance Palmer, 22, and Kelvin Charles, 22, in July and charged them with using a stolen credit card in a ticket-scalping scheme. The men, from Miami, bought 180 Tampa Bay Devil Rays baseball tickets for a weekend series against the Seattle Mariners, intending to resell them, but there was almost no demand because attendance at Devil Rays' games is among the poorest in the major leagues, and in fact there were 127,000 empty seats for the four games.

In April in Fayetteville, N.C., Shirley Brigman Turriff, 63, was sentenced to six years in prison for embezzling $1.1 million from the law firm for which she had been office manager (Anderson Johnson), which had hired her shortly after she had been convicted for embezzling from her first employer. Anderson Johnson was fully aware that she was an embezzler when it hired her because one of its lawyers had defended her in that earlier case.

In January 2001, News of the Weird reported that a 6-year-old boy had been removed from his mother's home in Champaign, Ill., because she insisted on continuing to breastfeed him. A judge later released the boy back to the mother, and in July 2002, the woman, Lynn Stuckey, 34, appeared on an ABC's "Good Morning America" videotape showing that she is still to this day breastfeeding him (every two weeks or so). Stuckey continues to call it "a perfectly normal practice": "We are your standard middle-class American family, and we're not doing anything wrong."

A 26-year-old woman was charged with attempted murder for a vicious knife attack on her 25-year-old boyfriend that resulted in the nearly total mutilation of his buttocks and rectum (Carrollton, Ala., June). A 21-year-old disgruntled construction worker was charged with the pickax slaying of his loud-mouthed foreman (New York City, April), and another recently fired construction worker was charged with attempted murder for shooting his former boss in the chest with a 3-foot-long spear gun (Miami, April).

Also, in the Last Month ...

A 13-year-old boy was arrested after he allegedly pulled out a gun and robbed a convenience store of just a sex magazine (Martinsburg, W.Va.). Police officer Thomas Richmond applied mouth-to-snout CPR and revived an apparently dead pit bull that had been hit by a car (West Bridgewater, Mass.). A man in his 20s, identified only as Mr. Hsu, was rushed to a hospital from an Internet cafe‚ suffering paralysis after what was believed to be three consecutive days of playing a computer game (Chungho City, Taiwan). A 34-year-old man on his maiden sky dive let out a joyous whoop at 9,000 feet, which dislodged his false teeth, which fell and could not be found (Addison, Vt.).