(NOTE: In a November 1999 column, I noted that Jerry Wayne Walker had been charged with murder in Murray, Ky. Mr. Walker's trial in July 2001 resulted in a hung jury, and I recently learned that in October 2001, the prosecutor dismissed the charges. -- Chuck Shepherd)

-- Because of what they called a "history of unacceptable professional conduct," administrators at Lawrence Technological University (Southfield, Mich.) have ordered tenured engineering professor Sayed A. Nassar to remain inside his faculty office from 8 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. weekdays (so that they can "monitor" him), except when he goes to class or has specific permission to leave, and not to go off campus during that time unless actually accompanied by the dean or his representative. According to faculty members interviewed for a May Chronicle of Higher Education story, the charges against Nassar boil down to the fact that he argues with the administration a lot.

-- The head of a Dutch hospital's department of psychiatry and neurosexology told reporters in April that he has found a "post-orgasmic illness syndrome" after having had five patients who suffered flu-like symptoms (sweating, extreme fatigue, eye-irritation) for several days after sex. Dr. Marcel Waldinger of Leyenburg Hospital in The Hague guessed that the cause might have been an allergic reaction to the hormones released with orgasm and said his write-up would appear in an upcoming issue of the U.S. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy.

Hassan Latief, 42, Hillsborough, N.J. (penis cut off by wife, Nelly, over alleged infidelity, January); Edward L. Praskovich, 31, Ambridge, Pa. (used a box cutter on his own penis in an unsuccessful suicide attempt, February); Raphael R. Scott, 20, St. Petersburg, Fla. (a robbery suspect who had his penis partially severed by a pursuing police dog, April); John Ndekeezi, Kampala, Uganda (genitals bitten off by wife, over alleged infidelity, March); Jose de Lima, 25, Brazil (cut off by wife, over alleged infidelity, January).

-- The London yoga center Triyoga came under strenuous neighborhood protest in March over the increasing noise level at its relaxation institute, according to a Reuters report; mellow music played at high volume, clients' chanting, and group-breathing exercises (guttural sounds) were named as the major nuisances. And three surfer dudes were arrested in a federal park in San Francisco in March after allegedly attempting to kill another surfer who might have intruded onto "their" wave. And a 54-year-old windsurfer dude was arrested at Kahana Beach Park in Hawaii in December after he allegedly sailed directly into a kite surfer who had stolen his wave.

-- Two 16-year-old girls who won prizes at a Paterson, N.J., teen fair for their essays touting abstinence over condom use in sex education were revealed in May to be pregnant. One's essay described having sex even with a condom as "like playing Russian roulette with your life."

-- In January, environmental officials in Denver, denied Bromwell Elementary School a permit to burn its homemade prairie grass garden, which was planned as a demonstration of the cycle of nature, citing the air pollution the fire would cause. The officials suggested, instead, that the 300 students take a field trip to the prairie-grass exhibit at the Denver Botanical Garden. However, according to Colorado Air Pollution Control Division estimates, one fume-spewing school bus on a field trip produces more pollution by itself than would the entire controlled burn.

-- An arbitrator ruled in March that Pensacola, Fla., middle school teacher Robert K. Sites III, 37, was wrongly fired for showing up at work in a cocaine-distracted state (later measured at 50 times the level regarded as a "positive" test). The school has a "zero tolerance" policy on drugs, but it applies only to students. The arbitrator ruled that Sites is entitled to back pay and benefits and must be given drug counseling and a chance to get clean.

-- At a training seminar in January sponsored by the Minnesota Department of Health (which is the agency responsible for enforcing food-handling rules), at least 15 of the 150 participants came down with food poisoning, most likely from the catered box lunches or in-class treats.

Pharmacist Corey Penner, 29, pleaded guilty in March in Newton, Kan., to 16 counts of misdemeanor battery for his compulsion to trick strangers on the street into letting him draw their blood. Penner's lawyer told the court that Penner had no explanation for his behavior but that he had engaged in it for 11 years, telling people falsely that he was doing research and in some cases giving people up to $20 to let him take the blood.

In preparation for the founding meeting of a new political group (the Anambra Peoples' Forum) in Lagos, Nigeria, in March, officials concerned about being rained out hired a professional rain doctor, Mr. Chief Nothing Pass God, for about $47 (and a bottle of gin) to keep the skies clear. Before the doctor was finished with his incantations, a rare March downpour completely washed out the event. Said the Chief, "I have not failed. What caused the disappointment was that (this job) came unexpected(ly)" and that he had not had sufficient time to prepare.

In 1991, News of the Weird reported on the mysterious low-level vibration that some residents of Taos, N.M., were hearing, and being severely disturbed by. The "Taos Hum" was never fully explained, and its legend has grown among conspiracy theorists, although some people actually suffered otherwise-unexplained illnesses in the presence of the hum. In February 2002, Kokomo, Ind., mayor James Trobaugh asked the city council for $100,000 to study a similar hum that has supposedly caused medical problems for at least 40 Kokomo residents in the last three years. Symptoms in both cases include not only severe headaches and lack of sleep but dizziness, chronic fatigue, joint and muscle pain, nosebleeds and diarrhea.

In a 12-month pilot project, criminals were spared jail terms if they agreed to a program of Transcendental Meditation as practiced by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (Geraldton, Western Australia, February). September 11 notwithstanding, Canada Customs reaffirmed its longstanding policy of instructing officers not to stop armed-and-dangerous criminals attempting to enter the country, but rather to notify the police after they are already in (March). Amnesty International USA reported that at least 150 people accused of torture in their homelands have been granted residence in the U.S., including a Haitian colonel convicted of homicide, who, while living in Florida in 1997, won $3.2 million in the state lottery (April).

Linda Lay (wife of Enron's former chairman Kenneth), who virtually pleaded poverty in January despite owning property worth at least $15 million, prepared to open (in May) the Jus' Stuff antique shop, which would be stocked with her cast-offs (Houston). A snake-charmer, called to a home to dispatch two cobras, found 3,500 more underneath it, plus hundreds of eggs (Dhaka, Bangladesh). A frail, but gun-toting 70-year-old man (described by witnesses as looking "much older") failed in his attempt to rob the Foothills Bank, after he got confused once inside the door (Wheatridge, Colo.). A snowplow was called to clean up Interstate 80 after a collision caused a Hormel truck to break open and coat the highway with chili and beans (Green River, Wyo.).

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or Newsweird@aol.com, or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com/.)

-- According to an April New York Times analysis, Verizon Communications executives, faced with a $1.4 billion loss last year (a situation which would have denied them performance bonuses), created a $389 million profit merely by deciding to value the company's pension fund "income" at $1.8 billion even though the pension fund was actually "swimming in red ink." Securities regulations apparently permit such quixotic valuations provided that they are explained to shareholders (which the executives did in a footnote in the firm's annual report). Thus, though having underperformed on the actual delivery of communications services (according to investors), Verizon executives nevertheless got their performance bonuses.

Widower Jeffrey Post filed a lawsuit against Lynn University (Boca Raton, Fla.), whose mortuary science program allegedly used bodies from a local funeral home for embalming practice without permission of the deceaseds' families (March). And Lake Elsinore, Calif., funeral home owner Michael Francis Brown, 42, was arrested and charged with illegally selling cadaver parts to several major university research institutes (February). And following an internal audit, Greenlane Hospital, New Zealand's premier heart facility, revealed that in the last 50 years, it had taken, for research and without permission of the families, the hearts from at least 1,350 babies who had died on the premises (but offered to return all those hearts it still had on hand) (February).

-- Once again, in March, the annual South Korean justice ministry test (required of those vying for appointment as judges) was administered in Seoul in a three-hour session during which, to prevent cheating, restroom breaks were not permitted. As in previous years, for those who absolutely must answer nature's call, the justice ministry provided plastic bags for men and skirt-like covers with plastic pots for women, for use in the back of the exam room.

-- In April, the U.S. Patent Office awarded patent number 6,368,227 to Steven Olson, age 7, of St. Paul, Minn., whose father had filed to help him protect a method of swinging on a swing. The Olsons' discovery: While seated, if you pull alternately on one side's chain/rope and then on the other side's, while gradually introducing a forward-backward thrust, you can swing in an oval-shaped arc, as long as the side-to-side motion is greater than the forward-backward motion. According to the Patent Office, licenses to use the patented method are available from the inventor.

-- Among those whose public displays recently either garnered Guinness Book of Records recognition or are being considered: Wang Chuntai, 49, who pulled a sedan 47 feet with cables attached only to his eyelids (Yaan, Sichuan, China); Monte Pierce, who propelled a coin more than 10 feet by using his elastic-like earlobe as a rubber band; and B.D. Tyagi, who was certified to have the longest ear hair in the world (4 inches) (Bhopal, India).

-- Police in Plymouth, Conn., arrested lawyer Christopher W. Boylan in March and charged him with defrauding a client who had paid him $2,500 to get his money back on the purchase of a defective car. According to police, Boylan's crime was that he told the client falsely that he had won the case (and drew up a bogus judicial order certifying that) and that the client should expect a settlement of $733,000 soon. So far, no explanation has emerged of how Boylan thought he would get away with the crime (in view of the fact that the order was so transparently fraudulent and that the client would eventually start to hang around Boylan's office and hound him about the money).

-- In Ottawa, Ontario, Christopher Laurin, 15, was suspended from school for two days in March and ordered to drug counseling when a police dog perked up while sniffing Laurin's locker, even though no traces of drugs of any kind were found in any of Laurin's belongings. The police claim that its dogs can detect lingering smells on clothing, but Laurin's parents were incredulous that their son could be disciplined for having something that didn't exist (and merely on the "say-so" of a dog).

Derrick A. Cobb, 25, was charged with tricking teen-age girls into removing their shoes and socks so he could run off with them (Upper Marlboro, Md., March); David William Christensen, 40, was charged with harassing three women by leaving them Keds shoes with sexually explicit messages on them (Denver, April); Donald J. Ruther, 33, was charged with stealing girls' shoes because, he said, sniffing them relaxed him (Medina, Ohio, February).

News of the Weird reported in 1999 on an annual Hindu festival in Singapore in which worshipers of Lord Murugan reaffirmed their faith by sticking skewers through their skin, with the amount of pain endured taken as the gauge of devotion. Apparently, similar celebrations continue in other countries (though India has banned them as too barbaric). In January 2002, Murugan worshipers in Malaysia celebrated at the annual Thaipusam festival at the Batu Caves, eight miles outside Kuala Lumpur, by hooking and kebobbing their skin to the accompaniment of hypnotic, deafening music that helped create pain-softening trances.

Juanita Konold-McIntosh, 55, testifying on behalf of her "husband" of 15 years, Eduardo G. McIntosh, who was on trial for fraud in Boston in January, said she is still devoted to him and hopes they can turn their lives around together. Konold-McIntosh had just heard the government introduce solid envidence that McIntosh (to her surprise) is not an Air Force general; that he is not legally married to her (because of a still-valid earlier marriage); that the reason he had spent only one night a week with her during their marriage was not because he was on secret intelligence missions; that the reasons for thousands of dollars in and out of her bank account during their "marriage" was to serve his real family and various scams; and that the reason she had not heard from him during a four-month period in 1994 was because he was in prison.

A state legislative committee in Victoria, Australia, recommended that habitually glue-sniffing children as young as 7 be placed in special homes where they could be tutored on less-lethal sniffing practices (January). The British high-end apparel shop Argos started selling padded bras and g-string underwear for girls as young as 9 in its "Babies and Kids" section (April). An Associated Press investigation found that more than 100 physicians are currently working at federal facilities (such as Veterans Administration hospitals) despite having been convicted of crimes or disciplined by state medical boards, including one woman who was convicted in Switzerland of aiding a terrorist organization (April).

The British firm Drinks Merchants said the government had finally issued it a permit to import a Czech Republic vodka that contains cannabis seeds (Nottingham). A judge ordered a man to tear down his brand-new $300,000 (U.S.) home because it was 14 feet too close to a park boundary, a fact the owner's lawyer failed to notice (Ottawa, Ontario). A psychiatrist was acquitted of sex abuse when a jury apparently believed him when he said that his multiple-personality accuser must have planted his DNA by breaking into his house and stealing his dirty underwear (DeLand, Fla.). In an online auction, two fans bid $525 and $600 to acquire a piece of bubble gum once briefly chewed by Arizona Diamondbacks baseball star Luis Gonzalez.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or Newsweird@aol.com, or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com/.)

-- "Splosher" parties are growing in popularity in San Francisco, attended by quasi-sexual fetishists who joyously wallow on floors and furniture, semi-nude, in gobs of mud, cream, and a wide variety of foods such as soups, salads, syrups, ketchup, cakes and pies. According to a March report in SF Weekly, playfulness and lack of inhibition are more important to most participants than overt sexuality. In one couple's intimate scene, the man is a waiter who repeatedly spills food orders on the woman's lap and on her head, causing her to squeal with delight.

-- In scholarly papers delivered at conferences in Japan and the United States in March and April, Japanese researchers from Okayama University and Japan's National Cancer Center announced that beer inhibited liver, prostate, colon and rectal cancers in rats by as much as 50 percent. Professor Sakae Arimoto said beer works on pre-cancers by controlling heterocyclic amines and that unlike other cancer-inhibiting foods (such as spinach and broccoli), only small amounts need be consumed to acquire the beneficial effects.

Among the candidates for county sheriff in the May primaries in Kentucky are four former sheriffs forced from office after being convicted of crimes: Roger Benton (Morgan County), convicted of accepting a bribe; Paul Browning Jr. (Harlan County), convicted of plotting a murder; Douglas Brandenberg (Lee County), convicted of obstructing justice; and Ray Clemons (Breathitt County), convicted of failing to report drug activity. But the situation was more acute in the February legislative elections the state of Uttar Pradesh, India: 910 people with criminal charges against them ran for 403 seats, and 122 were elected, including an accused contract killer (who won perhaps because his opponent was himself the subject of 43 criminal charges).

-- How Japanese Men Spend Their Money: Among the shops recently opened in several Japanese cities, according to a December Irish Times dispatch from Tokyo, are "cabaret clubs" (for drinking and permissible touching of the waitresses), "fetish clubs" (where patrons can act out fantasies, such as groping women on a stage set up like the inside of a train car), and "couples' coffee shops" (where women select from among many men for free, anonymous sex in a back room). Also doing brisk business, according to a December story in Mainichi Daily News, are "mania shops" that specialize in selling the used panties of mostly B-list TV actresses. Said one clerk, "We'd give (a star's panties) a three-month use-by date and put (them) up for sale. (Actress) Hanako's cost 6,000 yen (about $46 U.S.) and sold like hotcakes."

-- A Malaysian businessman in the city of Jalan Beserah, intending to warn others who employ household help, told reporters in December that he had recently dismissed his maid because he had acquired hidden-camera proof that she boiled her underwear in the soup she served him. According to the businessman, a witch doctor in her hometown had told her that such soup would convey a magic spell that would cause the employer to appreciate her more.

-- A major recent influence on child-naming in Papua New Guinea is U.S. pop stars, according to Australian medical student Lisa Thompson, who addressed an Australian government conference in March on her recent health-care-assistance experiences in the country. "My favorite was Elton Travolta," she said, although she also met an Olivia Newton-John and a Bill Clinton, among others.

-- Three Muslim men in their early 20s from the Washington, D.C., area have formed the rap music group Native Deen, whose signature beat resembles mainstream angry rap but whose music is restricted in other ways by their faith, according to a February Washington Post report. They must, of course, dress respectfully, and do not expect their audience to dance, nor women to sing along. Also, they use only drums since they believe string and wind instruments are offensive to Muslims. Their lyrics contain no sex or drug references but rather exhort followers to virtue.

-- God's Will: A van carrying Hindu pilgrims to worship the god of destruction crashed near Calcutta, India, in April, killing 21. And a Baptist preacher, his wife, and two of their children were killed in December when an oak tree toppled over (in perfectly calm weather) onto their Lincoln Town Car, prompting the preacher's deacon to say, "There's no other explanation for this other than this was an act of God" (Cumberland, Ind.).

A Brooklyn, N.Y., housing judge ruled in March that a 71-year-old retired Chinese immigrant had too much stuff in his federally subsidized apartment and that if he didn't get rid of half of it quickly, he would be evicted. Fei Xu, 71, had so many items crammed into his 500 square feet that he had only a 14-inch-wide path by which to walk from one side to the other. Said Xu, of his accumulation (computers, typewriters, 17 suitcases, 13 clocks, 15 folding chairs, seven fans, two each of most appliances, etc.), "'Many' is such a subjective word. For me, many is not too much. (I) thought this was a free country."

Maryland lawyer Peter Angelos decided in March that he would accept the state's offer to pay him only $150 million for his firm's work (instead of $1 billion) in representing the state in the massive 1998 multistate settlement with tobacco companies, in which Maryland was awarded $4 billion of tobacco money over 20 years (for which Angelos' firm had contracted for a 25 percent fee). On the one hand, Angelos accepted 15 cents on the dollar from what Maryland originally agreed to pay him. On the other hand, even the smaller amount compensates Angelos' work at many times his firm's typical hourly billing rate, and for work that in large part was based on investigation and litigation already developed by other states.

Proposed legislation in this session of the Washington Senate would require a $100 deposit by anyone filing a formal complaint about any aspect of the dairy industry (after one free unsuccessful complaint); other businesses in the state would not be subject to complaint deposits. And in February, the managing director of South Africa's Milk Producers Organization demanded that the country's Advertising Standards Authority condemn a beer ad that "discriminates against milk" by implying that it is "dull and boring." (In the ad, three demure milk-drinkers at a cricket match become envious of rowdy beer-drinkers and eventually join them.)

-- An ABC News investigation found that people with terrorist ties, including two defendants in the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, have funded their work with $100 million a year from illegally redeeming grocery store coupons (January). The head of the Vatican's agency for humanitarian aid, elaborating on a papal message, said it was a "fundamental law" that illness is a consequence of sin (February). A well-known Toronto panhandler ("the shaky lady") denied a press report that she takes in hundreds of dollars a day, rather than the $25 to $30 (U.S.) she claims; the denial came through her personal lawyer, a member of a prestigious downtown ("Bay Street") firm, in a press briefing in the firm's luxurious conference room (March).

A 22-year-old man was arrested and charged with shooting his long-time friend during an argument over which of the two was the better friend (Gary, Ind.). Two confused Japanese tourists, laden with cameras and guidebooks, wandered to within yards of the West Bank's under-siege Church of the Nativity, oblivious of the Israeli-Palestinian standoff, until flak-vested journalists beckoned them to back away (Bethlehem). A thief came across a malnourished dog during a home burglary and called in an animal-abuse report on the owner (Bolton, England). Researchers said they found what could be considered one massive ant colony, consisting of many nests of ants living (oddly) in harmony, stretching 1,000 miles from Spain to Italy.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or Newsweird@aol.com, or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com/.)