DEAR HARRIETTE: My grandchildren don't answer my emails. This is infuriating to me because I am not so quick with computers, and it takes me quite some time to email all of them individually. I have mentioned in person that they don't respond to my emails, and I receive empty promises that they will start. They are in different cities across the United States, while I am in Florida.

It's thankless to be a grandmother to grandchildren who don't take time to respond to you every day. I don't want to give up on them, but they seem to have left me no choice. -- Tech Grandma, Melbourne, Florida

DEAR TECH GRANDMA: When I read your note carefully, I see that you expect your grandchildren to respond to you on a daily basis. I hate to tell you this, but that is unrealistic. Your grandchildren are busy with their lives. Between school, extracurricular activities, chores and homework, there is not much time left in the day for them to focus on anything else -- even their beloved grandmother. You will do better at getting their attention and a response if you demand less of them.

Your life is, naturally, much less busy than theirs, so you notice when they are not connecting to you. But your schedules are completely different. Step back a bit and give them breathing room. Write to them occasionally, maybe once a week. Let them miss you a bit. And don't ask them for anything. Sometimes they will respond, and sometimes they won't. Feel out a natural rhythm between you that is comfortable on all sides.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I can't understand my assistant's Welsh accent. When she speaks quickly, it is as though I am listening to a foreign language. I don't want to appear uncultured by asking her to repeat most of what she says, yet we communicate best through email even though we work just 20 feet away from each other. She has been on the job for two weeks, and already we've had a few big miscommunications. I don't want her to feel self-conscious, but I need to be able to comprehend my assistant! She understands 99 percent of what I say, so the misunderstanding is coming from my part. -- Accent on the Accent, Chicago

DEAR ACCENT ON THE ACCENT: Your assistant knows that she speaks differently from Americans. You two should talk about it directly. Explain to her that you need her to slow down and regularly repeat herself until you grasp her accent better. Tell her that you are trying, but that often you misinterpret her spoken words.

Slowing down and articulating with intention is my No. 1 suggestion for improving your understanding. Use written communication as an insurance policy: Make sure you both agree on what you have said.

As long as you never tease her about her accent, and instead support her to learn how to speak so that everyone in the office understands her, you will be of great service.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: How old must someone be for me to stand up and let him or her take my seat? For example, I was sitting on the bus, and two middle-aged men got on after me and didn't have a seat. I am younger than them by a few decades, so I debated standing up so one of them could sit on the journey. I didn't end up doing it because I didn't want to offend anyone with assumptions about their age or health. I want to know what the right thing to do is for next time. -- Take a Seat, New York City

DEAR TAKE A SEAT: Great question. I have had that very experience of offering a seat to an older man, who seemed offended by my offer. My suggestion is that you play it by ear. In the case of your two gentlemen, unless one of them had a cane or was otherwise obviously infirm, it is best to leave them alone. Offering to one man and not the other could create an unintended setup for endless chiding between them about who is feeble.

Generally, when you are riding public transportation, survey your surroundings constantly. When someone gets on board who seems like he or she would benefit from a seat -- regardless of the person's age -- immediately and quietly offer to give up your seat. If the person passes, do not make a fuss of it. By the way, a parent and young child are often better seated than standing and wiggling everywhere.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss has brought her sick son to work a few times this month. As the weather gets colder, I understand that kids get sick. However, I don't think a snot-covered, sneezing 5-year-old is helping the office stay healthy. I know I can't ban my boss from bringing her son to work. How can I protect my health while protecting my job? My boss is obsessed with her son and rarely leaves him with sitters. -- Bring Your (Sick) Kid to Work Day, Philadelphia

DEAR BRING YOUR (SICK) KID TO WORK DAY: This is a tough one, because your boss is juggling work and family in the midst of a health crisis. It is a no-win situation. Rather than complain, you should invest in facemasks, Lysol and antiseptic wipes. Seriously. Keep your area very clean to cut down on germs. Wear a facemask when the child or anyone else is sick in the office. Take it off only when you have to go to a meeting or leave the building.

If you are questioned by your boss -- or anybody else, for that matter -- about the facemask, be upfront and state that you are trying hard not to get sick. Point out that you understand why the child has to come to work sick, but you don't want the result to be that you get ill.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got too drunk at a wedding last weekend. I wish I could say I remember the whole night, but I cannot. I was mortified when I woke up, and I asked my sister what happened. She told me I was so funny and the life of the party -- no harm done.

I didn't make a fool of myself or get destructive at the wedding, but I was too intoxicated. Do I owe the bride and groom an apology? I already know I should never try to keep up with my cousins. -- Hungover Hannah, Boston

DEAR HUNGOVER HANNAH: One person's "didn't make a fool of myself" is not always the same for the next. While it is absolutely true that many people get drunk at weddings, you don't want to risk having been a distraction or embarrassment to your friends without even saying anything about it.

You should definitely reach out to the couple, ask how they are doing and congratulate them on their wedding once again. Listen to them pour out the details of their nuptials. Before you get off the phone, tell them that you must apologize for getting intoxicated at their wedding. Ask for their forgiveness in case you were a distraction in any way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the middle daughter in between two brothers. I grew up closest to my younger brother, but I was pushed out of the "boys' group" around puberty. My brothers are thick as thieves and each other's best friends. I love how close they are and try to insert myself into their bond. When I try to tell them a secret, they rat me out to my parents. For example, I started dating a new guy, told them, and the next day my mom was calling to congratulate me! I don't want to accept that my brothers will never have my back. How can I get back in the boys' club? -- Odd One Out, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR ODD ONE OUT: Stop trying to butt into a bond that is impenetrable. Instead, work on cultivating your own relationships with each brother. Also, know that their telling your mother is having your back in their minds. You are their sister, and they want to make sure that your mother knows anything significant about you -- not in a tattletale kind of way, but in a loving manner.

It is understandable that the closeness that your brothers have with each other can be unnerving and also may trigger some envy. Do your best to move past those feelings and make the choice to develop positive relationships with each of them.

I am the middle of three girls. My sisters and I have very different relationships with each other, and over the years, we have accepted that they are different. We love each other, but two of us are closer. I think that's what happens with threes, even when it's three friends who don't have blood ties. As hard as it can be at times, if you are able to accept and appreciate the relationships for what they are rather than trying to turn them into something they are not, you will have a chance at inspiring peaceful, loving bonds.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)