DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother-in-law is like someone out of a 1960s TV show. She is calm, generous, loving, and totally supportive.

My bitchy sister-in-law is another story entirely! We’ll call her “Tabby” because that sounds like the alley cat she is.

She started out telling my wife’s family I was the worst thing to happen to her sister and their family. She said we had no right getting married in their family’s church, asking her parents to help with the reception, or allowing our friends to attend the wedding.

She has done her best to make it clear to everyone she knows her sister married a “ho” — that’s what she called me, to my face, in front of her mother and grandmother.

I keep telling my wife I don’t want to be anywhere near her sister because I don’t think I’ll hold myself back if she starts in on me yet again.

Out of respect for my incredible MIL and my wife, I don’t want to snub the family, but is it right I should have to be subjected to abuse by my SIL? --- CAN’T STAND MY SIL

DEAR CAN’T STAND MY SIL: Unfortunately, you’re getting an up close and personal view of how tricky family dynamics can be, and I don’t blame you at all for wanting to avoid your unpleasant sister-in-law.

Perhaps there are ways to spend time with the in-laws you like while avoiding the one you don’t get along with.

If your mother-in-law is the person you believe her to be, after your wife, she may be your strongest ally.

By confiding in her, it might be possible for her to suggest how you and your wife will be able to attend family events while either effectively handling, or better yet, avoiding having to mix with your nasty sister-in-law entirely.

If tactfully keeping you and your nemesis separated doesn’t work, the next best thing could be for you and your wife to openly push back at the bullying and especially remind your sister-in-law you’re now part of the family, whether she accepts that or not.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My fiancé and I are paying for most of the cost of our wedding. We extended our engagement an extra year to be able to save some additional money to put towards it.

We have been lucky in finding an affordable venue and caterer, both of which have very good to excellent ratings.

When it comes to flowers I have never been a big fan of expensive arrangements of real flowers, and my mother and I have found some truly beautiful artificial arrangements for the tables and the bouquets and boutonnieres. We were able to pull it all together for less than $350.

My future sister-in-law has said very out loud how much nicer real flowers are and that they are much more tasteful than the cheap fake ones my mother and I picked out.

I am trying hard to not blow up at her over this, but do you think I should try so hard? --- HAPPY WITH MY FLOWERS

DEAR HAPPY WITH MY FLOWERS: It’s your wedding, and that’s the general message to send your future sister-in-law’s way.

I wouldn’t advise your having a big confrontation with her on the subject of the flowers specifically. A firm, calm assertion that you have your own vision of how you want your day to go would perhaps be a better idea with longer-lasting results.

Asserting yourself now sends a clear message that you’re going to make your own decisions not only for your wedding, but moving forward as well.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My girlfriend is closer to her family than anybody I have ever seen. Her parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings are all in about a 25 mile radius of each other. Even after family members go off to college, they ALWAYS come home to begin their careers and start families.

I grew up in this same area and I love it too, but I have an incredible job offer 800 miles from here in San Diego with an exciting start-up biotech I heard about from a friend who is already out there. They have solid backers and are setting up their labs already.

My girlfriend said she is onboard to come with me. She has her nursing degree, so she should be able to find work anywhere, so that’s not the problem.

But I honestly think she will be miserable to be so far away from her family.

I know it’s hard making a long distance relationship work, but I hate to think she would begin to hate me outright if she gave up everything she has here to take a chance on moving with me.

Do you think I am right? --- SHE’LL BE MISERABLE

DEAR SHE’LL BE MISERABLE: I think a lot rides on how solid and committed your relationship is.

You do have options. For one thing, you could head out first, give it a few months to see if you like the area and how well the job is going. If all looks good at that point, you can see if your girlfriend is still up to joining you in San Diego.

At this point there’s no knowing how successful the relocation will be, but if she’s willing to try taking it on with you, then it’s as much up to her as it is to you to figure out next steps.

A big move’s not something to be blindly jumped into, but there’s also a chance it’s potentially a remarkable, unique experience for you both, as individuals and as a couple.