DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is 16 years old. Instead of being obsessed with getting his driving permit or going on dates, he has decided to dedicate his free time to getting accepted to the Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland. He has two years, but there is a strenuous physical examination in addition to serving four years in the Navy afterward.

My son, "David," is strongly considering this. I never told him to not follow his dreams, but I'm honestly hoping the 7.9 percent admission rate at the Naval Academy will mean he'll have to attend a regular university. David can already run a 5.30-minute mile and is pushing himself in the gym whenever he isn't doing work. I love this level of commitment and have never seen him this passionate; however, this all scares me. My son could be in a war zone in less than seven years. Should I let him apply to the Naval Academy and secretly hope he doesn't get in? I don't know how to convey how dangerous it could be to serve our country. -- No Navy for Teen, Washington, D.C.

DEAR NO NAVY FOR TEEN: It is understandable that you would have some reservations about your son going into the military. At the same time, there are tremendous benefits to the experience. Among them, he will cultivate tremendous discipline, learn useful skills and be employed. Rather than discouraging your son, talk to him about what he hopes to learn. There are many different jobs in the Navy. If he knows his specific areas of interest up front, it may help him to focus when he enters.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my aunts works in finance at a top firm. She lives in New York City and constantly talks about the "Big Four." As a man in my early 20s, I'm just trying to make ends meet and get on even financial footing. At any family gathering, you can bet my aunt makes a beeline to me and pesters me with questions. I am admittedly private, so people must ask questions if they want to know information, but I believe she goes too far. She wants to know about my investments, what credit cards I have and how much I have in my checking, savings and emergency accounts. She can tell I am uncomfortable when this conversation comes up, but she insists she just wants to help me. I just want her to stop prying.

I know my aunt may have good intentions and is very knowledgeable, but I don't want to be ridiculed or scolded for my finances. Besides, everyone says to keep business and family separate! How can I get my aunt to stop attempting to help me while she intrudes on my finances? -- Bad Balances, Jersey City, New Jersey

DEAR BAD BALANCES: Let your aunt's intentions spur you to get your own financial adviser. It's fine not to discuss your personal finances with her, but don't ignore them. Find a professional who can guide you to do the very things your aunt is asking. You do need this, even if you don't want to do it with her.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work on chartered yachts. I am in college, and my past in sailing and working in country clubs allowed me to have this opportunity. I love the money I make, so my school and social life sometimes take a hit.

On the most recent charter, I got drunk onboard. These weren't my working hours, but I still took it upon myself to wander the boat. Even typing this story now makes me cringe. I saw one of the charter guests, and she asked me if everything was OK. In my drunken state, I decided I wasn't OK and spilled all of my problems to this poor woman. We left each other shortly after she comforted me, and that was the end of it.

The next day, at the end of the charter, the tip was good and the captain seemed happy. I felt horrible. I was so unprofessional, and the charter guest didn't tell anyone to reprimand me. I didn't mention this incident to the crew, and I don't know how to keep going forward. I just want to be the best I can at my job. -- Sea Sick, Fort Lauderdale, Florida

DEAR SEA SICK: Count it as a blessing that the charter guest did not report your state to the captain. It seems that you met with compassion exactly when you needed it. While it is perfectly understandable that you would be embarrassed by your behavior, you cannot get stuck in the space of feeling sorry for yourself or nervous about what happens next. Instead, be grateful for the discretion the guest showed, and vow to be sober moving forward. If you have issues that you need to handle, find professional support to help you. Forgive yourself for this moment of poor judgment.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work on a farm and have lived in a rural area all of my life. The nearest city is a long drive away, and I can honestly say I like the simple life. At work, however, I've been having more and more trouble accepting how sexist my responsibilities are in comparison to the other farmhands. While they drive the tractors and sow the fields, I am told to bring blankets to the animals or check up on new chicks. I never do manual labor, even though I am more than capable of doing so.

I don't want to be the ragtag farmhand chasing after everyone, but I can hold my own on the farm. I have experience. How do I tell my boss this without coming across as whiney or dramatic? The last thing I need is to be stereotyped. -- Big and Strong, Small Town, Virginia

DEAR BIG AND STRONG: Start by paying attention to what the needs are on the farm. What is not being handled? Instead of complaining about what you are not being invited to do, point out to your employer that you have noticed that certain things need attention. Then offer to do whatever that task is. Point out that you are strong and capable of doing all of the tasks on the farm. Ask for the opportunity to demonstrate your abilities.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As spring is here in full force, my wife has decided that this is the year that we get rid of clutter. In the past, the whole family has made a halfhearted promise to throw out what we truly do not need just to appease my wife. This year, however, it seems as though she is ready to turn everyone into complete minimalists. There is an entire schedule for what we are donating each week. Clothing, toys, sports equipment and extra bedding all make an appearance, and it's safe to say everyone is a little scared of Mommy this year. Our children are 10, 12 and 15, and they do not always want to part with their items.

My wife is not even budging at their requests to hold on to anything sentimental. She says we can just take a photograph of items to remember them and donate or toss the real thing. We're all weary of this idea, but my wife seems to be on a rampage. Do we just grin and bear this spring cleaning? I don't really want to get rid of anything, either. -- Power Clean, Rochester, New York

DEAR POWER CLEAN: I wish your wife would come to my house! Believe it or not, her level of organization for this cleaning means that it will likely be more effective than in years past. Even though you don't want to let go of any of your belongings, you may be relieved and grateful if you do it. Most of us collect things over the years that we really don't need. Make space for what is yet to come by giving up something from each category. It will be a great lesson for your children as well.

DEAR HARRIETTE: From the ages of 2 to 10, my mother entered me in beauty pageants. I grew up in the South, where this is common. I don't hold any resentment toward my mother, but I do grimace a little when I see my old dresses, flippers and costumes. I know I won a few thousand dollars for my family in the end and had some fun, so I don't regret these years of my life. Now that I am pregnant for the first time, my mother has been asking me about how I'm going to find any pageants up north for my daughter to compete in. I said I wasn't particularly worried about this, and my mother mentioned how the money helps with expenses and how I could reuse some of my old belongings. I keep dodging the questions she asks, but quite frankly, I think putting my daughter into pageants would be tacky. I don't want to have my toddler daughter make money for me, and I don't want judges ranking her. I don't have any hard feelings about my pageant years, but I will not be entering my daughter in them. How can I get my point across firmly, without stepping on any toes? -- Turning a New Page, Wilmington, Delaware

DEAR TURNING A NEW PAGE: You are going to have to come right out and tell your mother directly that you will not be entering your daughter in pageants. When she presses you, tell her that you understand why she had you do it, but you don't want your daughter to follow in your footsteps. You will help her figure out her own interests and support her in exploring them.