DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend of 10 years recently went through a nasty divorce after five years of marriage, and to save money, she ended up moving in with me temporarily. Ever since then, she has been pouring herself into work, working long hours without rest. I check in on her often to make sure she's all right, and while she claims that she is OK, I am starting to see some signs of emotional distress. I am worried that she might be depressed and trying to hide it through work. However, I am neither a mental health professional nor a divorcee.

I want to be there for my friend, and by that, I mean I want to do more than just offer general platitudes of encouragement. What can I do to support her through this? -- True Friends, Milwaukee

DEAR TRUE FRIENDS: Going through a divorce ranks as one of the highest stressors one can experience, so it makes sense that your friend is showing emotional wear and tear. One way you may be able to help her is to invite her to participate in social activities that may offset her workaholic tendencies. Simple things can make a difference, like taking a walk, going out to dinner with a small group, visiting a museum, going to the movies, even going for a beauty treatment.

You can also let your friend know that you are concerned about her and want to know how you can best be of help. Invite her to talk about what's going on and how she is feeling.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a freelancer for creative work. I've been working different jobs for years, but I decided to strike out on my own after being laid off a few times. This will be my second year working independently, and the spring, summer and fall seasons have seen me my up to my neck in work at times. However, I am experiencing a serious slowdown this winter. Although I have spoken to other freelancers and found out the winter slowdown is normal, it still doesn't stop me from worrying about my finances. It also does not help with the winter blues that come around every year. Do you have any advice for getting through this slump with my emotions -- and pockets -- intact? -- All About the Benjamins, Detroit

DEAR ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS: As an entrepreneur myself, I can tell you that different seasons bring different harvests of income. This means that you need to be like a squirrel. When you are making money, stash as much of it away as you can so that you have a reserve for the lean times. This is much easier to say than do, by the way. But if you can create the discipline to save for that rainy day, it will become easier to be a freelancer. Also, during the slow periods, keep pitching for new business. A friend told me years ago that you always want to have outstanding invoices, because that means that you always have money promised.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a vegetarian who does not like to talk about my eating habits. Quite frankly, I don't enjoy the judgment or the ensuing debate about motives and how much my eating habits are truly changing the world. At a mixer I was offered bite-size sliders and politely refused them. One of the four men I was speaking to asked why I didn't have one, and I said I wasn't hungry. He then insisted they were great and I had to have one, at which point I told him I do not like eating meat. The whole group seemed shocked and asked me what I consider to be unprofessional questions, like where various nutrients come from. One of the men with whom we were previously speaking about business sarcastically congratulated me on not bragging about being a vegetarian all the time. He also mentioned how I must be involved in some steroid usage because I don't seem like a "weakling." He immediately turned me off. My company was considering doing a business deal with his company, but now I have to decide if his behavior about my diet is enough to judge him on professionally. I do not want to work with someone so rude, but I am not sure if I am taking his comments too personally. Is it too much to judge this potential collaborator from his comments toward me? I don't know him professionally, but his casually rude attitude bothered me. -- Business Not Personal, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR BUSINESS NOT PERSONAL: How much power do you have in this decision? The answer to this question should be an eye-opener. If you have the authority to green-light his company, consider if there is a way for you to address his callousness in advance of a decision. Following up to say that you were seriously recommending his company for the project but you are reluctant based upon his apparent bias might serve as a wake-up call. He may need to hear that he was rude and unprofessional and that it made you, his potential client, very uncomfortable. The way he reacts could help you make the decision.

If you do not have power in this deal, tell your supervisor what happened and suggest that your company proceed with caution.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a building with three apartments in it, and I have a couple who lives upstairs from me. While they seem like lovely people, I am kept up by their fighting at least three times a week. Our walls are paper-thin, and they yell so loud that you can hear every word and every item that crashes. I don't necessarily want to put myself in the middle of anything, but I can't sleep well with their arguing. How can I get them to quiet down? -- Team Needs Sleep, Atlanta

DEAR TEAM NEEDS SLEEP: You can start by knocking on the ceiling with a broom when they get too loud. They will likely be shocked at hearing you and may quiet down. You can also leave a note under their door asking them to keep it down because you can't sleep when they fight. If that doesn't work, speak to your landlord. Your last resort is calling 311. You can actually report them to the police for disturbing the peace.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I send care packages filled with all kinds of clothes and other goodies to my family members down south. It gives me great joy to put together these boxes, even though most of them are so-called hand-me-downs. My husband and I figured that we were giving away old clothes and electronics to charity when we could give them to family who would benefit from them. The weird thing is that they rarely let us know that they got the packages, let alone if they liked anything. I sent a text the other day just to check on whether my family received the most recent box and got an earful about how much fun it was to open and figure out what each of them wanted. How can I get them to say they got the package at the very least? Their indifference makes me want to just send to charity again. -- Ungrateful, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR UNGRATEFUL: Be direct with your family. Tell them that you enjoy sending them care packages but you need to know that they have received them. Ask them to agree to let you know when the packages arrive. If they fail to do so, you can decide how to proceed. Even charities say thank you, so you are not wrong to expect an acknowledgment of receipt.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriends and I can meet up only once or twice a year -- if we're lucky -- so we take our yearly vacation to Miami very seriously. I struggled financially this past year due to my husband and me being unexpectedly laid off. When my friends learned of this, they pulled together to pay for my ticket. Thankfully, I have now been chosen for a new opportunity that's even better than the last one. The problem is they need me to start the week we had scheduled the retreat, and we are less than two weeks out from the trip. I spent so much time looking for a job that I know it would be foolish for me to pass this up. However, the last thing I want to do is screw my friends out of the money they spent on me. How can I break it to them without damaging my friendships? -- Double-Edged Sword, Dallas

DEAR DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD: This is a tricky situation. I would first ask the new employer if there's any chance you can start one week later. You can explain that you have planned a trip for quite some time that is already paid for. If they would allow it, you would greatly appreciate being able to honor the commitment you have made. Obviously, make it clear that you are not making an ultimatum. You are simply telling them the truth. You never know what they may say.

If the answer is no, go to your friends and tell them the truth. While they will be disappointed, they surely will have to understand. What you then should try to do is get a refund for the ticket, or, at the very least, get the airline to give you a credit so that the ticket isn't totally wasted. You will have to apologize profusely, but after a while, your friends should be able to accept the bittersweet reality of your good fortune. When you can, be sure to pay them back.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)