DEAR HARRIETTE: This past weekend, I was on my fourth date with a woman I really like. The date was going really well until she jokingly mentioned that she always saw herself dating a French man and how funny it is that I am American. I laughed with her for a second but felt unsettled. Does this mean she doesn't like me because I am an American? Do I not act as foreign as she wants me to be? I have been telling myself to stop overthinking this joke, but my efforts haven't been going too well. I do not know what I do that makes me so American to her. One of my friends told me it was probably her subtle way of telling me this relationship won't go far because I am not her type. Another told me to stop overthinking and that she was just mentioning that her life is different from how she imagined it. Should I ask her what she meant by her joke? -- No Joking Around, Denver

DEAR NO JOKING AROUND: Stop worrying and ask this woman why she once dreamed of dating a French guy. Become curious. What is her fascination with the French? Ask her to tell you about her childhood fantasies. If you listen carefully, you will learn how her mind works and whether she truly has room in her heart for you. It is not uncommon for people to have dreams about a fantasy life. Perhaps meeting you is allowing her to let go of a fantasy and choose a welcome reality.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed one of my co-workers has many bruises on her body. She saw me looking at them today, said that she bruises easily and walked away. She has bruises on her ankles, on her leg and on her hands. They are fairly small bruises, and I cannot imagine what they are from. I want to possibly put something on her desk about how to contact help if she is being abused, but I know that could easily backfire on me because of how forward it is. These bruises do not look like she's been hit because of the size and placement on her body. I do not want to pry, and I do not want to feel guilty about not doing something when I could have. Is there any way I could get my co-worker to tell me where these bruises are from, or should I believe her story? -- Black and Blue, Bridgeport, Connecticut

DEAR BLACK AND BLUE: Your co-worker's bruises are none of your business. You should not leave brochures about abuse for her. If you have a rapport with her, you can ask her what happened. She says she bruises easily, which could be true, but what happened? You can also ask her if she is OK or if she needs help. Tell her you care about her and want to make sure she is safe. Don't push further.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family has chosen to go on a vacation this winter. After a few debates about where to go, we have decided that we are going to Spain. I am incredibly grateful for this opportunity, but I have my reservations. I did not want to go to a Spanish-speaking country because I am the only person in my family who speaks Spanish, and I know I will turn into the Spanish scapegoat of sorts. Any interaction where English is not possible, I will be responsible for handling. My family claims this isn't true, but I see no other way of vacationing in a country where only one person knows the language. I want to enjoy myself in Spain without having to be everyone's translator. I do not want to be selfish, but I do not want to have to devote my time to making sure everyone understands one another. How do I keep the balance on this vacation? -- Speaking Spanish, Hartford, Connecticut

DEAR SPEAKING SPANISH: Some people would look at this opportunity and your particular skills as a blessing. How wonderful that one member of the traveling party can speak the language! I suggest that you change your perspective. Sure, you will be asked questions, but the great news is that often you may be able to answer them with ease. Sadly, most Americans are not bilingual. You are. Don't lock away your gift. Share it.

Be proactive as well. Make it easier on yourself by encouraging your family members to get translation books now to learn the basic courtesies and questions. Tell them that you will not ruin their trip by translating everything. Encourage them to study so that they will be ready for the trip. Finally, you can request a translator through your hotel so that, for a small fee, you will have support that you may need yourself in navigating the country.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A superior has reprimanded me twice for being too shy at my job. I felt as though the company knew what I was like prior to hiring me, but now I guess I do not seem like the best fit. Personally, I hate when salespeople overwhelm me, so I try to be respectful of other people's space. This has been interpreted as me not caring, even though I am always helpful whenever someone seems to need assistance. The first time I got confronted, I changed a bit to become more outgoing and got more sales. I got confronted again and really wanted to defend myself. I sell as much as my co-workers, even though I am not as pushy as they are. In fact, I feel like people tend to gravitate toward me because of how I take a backseat as they choose what to try on or purchase. What should I say if I get confronted again? -- Shy But Selling, Detroit

DEAR SHY BUT SELLING: Ask for a meeting with your superior. Admit that you can sometimes be shy, but you have figured out a strategy that seems to garner sales. Present your sales figures to your boss, and note that they are commensurate with your co-workers'. Explain your strategy, but also offer to work on being more assertive. Let your sales figures be your strength.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I needed a ride to the airport and did not want to pay the $60 cab fee. So I went on social media and asked those in my area if anyone was willing to drive me for less. I got an anonymous response, and I asked the sender for his Facebook account to see if I was being scammed. This person looked reliable, and I ended up getting a safe and enjoyable ride to the airport for $5. Upon hearing about this, my friends were amazed that I could be so "stupid" and "irresponsible" and get a ride from a stranger. I feel like I did my research and was prepared to walk away if I got to the arranged meeting spot and my driver wasn't who he promised to be.

I think living adventurously is the key to life, and my friends should be more open to different experiences. When asked to explain myself, I said I did not want to pay the high cab rate and wanted to see if the Internet would help me out. I think my friends are being boring and sheltered, and I definitely plan on doing this again. Should I not tell them before I go? I told them before I went previously, just in case, but I want to avoid their judgment. -- Bargain on the Road, Queens, New York

DEAR BARGAIN ON THE ROAD: Sorry, but I skew on the side of your friends. Usually, a deal as low as that does not turn out to be legitimate. Most important is your safety, and that includes that the driver is insured. This is why even when the black cars from private car services offer to pick you up on the street, the police do not condone it. You should ride in a car with an insured driver so that, God forbid, if anything happens, you are covered.

I get the notion of adventure, and have had my fair share of it in my life. I'm not a fan of blind rides. I would say, though, if you continue to do it, do not hide it from your friends. Somebody should know your whereabouts -- especially during risky behavior. Ask them to keep their opinions to themselves.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at a party when I looked over and saw a celebrity nearly rubbing shoulders with me! This was my first time being near a celebrity in a casual setting, and I had no idea what to do. I totally froze and embarrassed myself. I recently relocated to Los Angeles and never thought I'd be in the same rooms as Hollywood stars. I couldn't even introduce myself, even though this person was basically right next to me. I totally made a fumble. How do I present myself properly to celebrities or high-profile people without freezing and making a fool of myself? I've never even gotten my photo taken, let alone been globally known! -- Stargazing, Los Angeles

DEAR STARGAZING: Start by recognizing that celebrities are people, too. Saying a simple hello and introducing yourself is perfect. If you are a fan, you could say, "I like your work," or be more specific about a particular project. But connecting person-to-person is best. An effective icebreaker is always the reason for the event.

(Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)