DEAR HARRIETTE: This past weekend, I was on my fourth date with a woman I really like. The date was going really well until she jokingly mentioned that she always saw herself dating a French man and how funny it is that I am American. I laughed with her for a second but felt unsettled. Does this mean she doesn't like me because I am an American? Do I not act as foreign as she wants me to be? I have been telling myself to stop overthinking this joke, but my efforts haven't been going too well. I do not know what I do that makes me so American to her. One of my friends told me it was probably her subtle way of telling me this relationship won't go far because I am not her type. Another told me to stop overthinking and that she was just mentioning that her life is different from how she imagined it. Should I ask her what she meant by her joke? -- No Joking Around, Denver
DEAR NO JOKING AROUND: Stop worrying and ask this woman why she once dreamed of dating a French guy. Become curious. What is her fascination with the French? Ask her to tell you about her childhood fantasies. If you listen carefully, you will learn how her mind works and whether she truly has room in her heart for you. It is not uncommon for people to have dreams about a fantasy life. Perhaps meeting you is allowing her to let go of a fantasy and choose a welcome reality.