DEAR HARRIETTE: Have you heard about this coconut water craze? Well, my boyfriend is into it big time! Whenever we go to a restaurant or to the grocery store, that's all he wants to buy. I have read the labels of a few of the brands and see that it is probably pretty healthy. But I don't like it at all; it tastes like dirty water to me. And I don't want to be forced to try to like it, either. I keep telling my boyfriend that it's fine by me if he drinks it, but leave me to my real water. He thinks I'm not adventurous or healthy enough. I find both of those views insulting. How can I get him to relax on this subject? -- Anti-Trend, Rochester, New York

DEAR ANTI-TREND: It is funny how trends can take over people's lives, sometimes for the better, often not. In the case of coconut water, my research does suggest -- as you have learned -- that it can be a healthy beverage alternative. My husband, who is Jamaican, first introduced me to it when we were in Jamaica and I had a stomachache. On the street, vendors sell what's known as water coconuts that are cracked open, and you drink the liquid inside. It instantly calmed my stomach, and I became a fan. That experience is quite different from drinking something packaged in a plastic bottle.

No matter what, you have the right to drink what you want. You tried it. Ask your boyfriend to give you credit for that. You also want to drink water as opposed to carbonated beverages, alcohol or sweet drinks -- another feather in your cap. Point out to your guy that you both are putting healthy liquids in your bodies. Ask him to call a truce!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working out like a madwoman these past few months, and it is beginning to show. I feel healthier, and my clothes are fitting better. Many of my friends are encouraging, but I ran into one woman I've known for a long time, and when she saw me, she said, "Wow, you sure have gained a lot of weight!" I had not seen her in a few years, so maybe I am bigger than when we were last together, but I thought that was just plain mean. All of my hard work meant nothing to her. How can I stay upbeat when stuff like that happens? -- On Track, Gallup, New Mexico

DEAR ON TRACK: You cannot let anyone deflate you. You have to keep your focus on the good work you are doing to get healthy. If someone says something rude to you, you can either ignore the person or stand up for yourself. You could have said, "Actually, I have been on a serious exercise plan, and I'm getting fit!" But honestly, turning away from naysayers and turning to yourself to do everything you can to nurture good health is the best way to spend your time and energy. Keep going for it!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 17-year-old high school student, and my favorite teacher is going to Tennessee to start a new school. I am going to miss him because he is funny and charismatic. We have an average student-teacher relationship, but I still would like to stay in contact with him and see how he is doing. Is there a way I can communicate with my favorite teacher to show him that I miss him and not get in trouble in the process? -- Missing My Mentor, West Orange, New Jersey

DEAR MISSING MY MENTOR: There should be no reason for you to get in trouble for simply wanting to stay in touch with a former teacher. If you truly value him as a mentor, reach out to him and say as much. Tell him that you would like to stay in touch: You want to learn about his new school, and you would like to be able to share with him what your experiences are as you finish high school and go to college.

Be clear about your intentions before you reach out to him, though. Establishing a mentor-mentee relationship can be wonderful if both parties agree to it. If you want this teacher's ongoing input in your life, you can gently ask and see if he shares your interest.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-wife and I have been divorced for five years, and she has since remarried. We have a 13-year-old son from our former union. My son wants me to help purchase gifts for his mother for her birthday, Mother's Day and Christmas. I have asked my son if he talks to his stepfather about this, and he says no. I feel it is not my duty to do this, and I believe her current husband should be responsible for this task. I am not comfortable with giving my ex-wife any "special" gifts. What should I tell my son when he sees no gifts from his dad? -- Under New Management, Salt Lake City

DEAR UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT: It does not sound like your son is asking you to help him purchase a gift that would be from him and either his stepfather or from you. If he is asking for your input to help learn how to buy gifts for his mother from him, that is a completely different story. Sure, it would be great if he could cultivate that type of relationship with his stepfather, and that may happen over time. You can even recommend that he ask his stepfather to serve in that capacity.

If the stepfather does not agree or your son is not ready to make such a request, I think it is fine for you to teach your child how to be a thoughtful gift giver. Help him select gifts that would be appropriate for him to give his mother. The gifts should not reflect memories from your past or anything else that indicates your hand in the selection process. Instead, make the experience of helping your son a way for you to guide him in the art of thoughtfulness.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 16-year-old daughter has been going to school with the same kids since kindergarten, but has recently informed me how some of her peers are bullying her. They are incredibly rude to her, physically push her in the hallways and constantly make fun of her. She tries to play off the situation in a mature way and says it does not bother her. However, whenever she comes home from school, she looks upset. She has made friends from other schools now and is spending more time with them, but she still has to see the mean kids at her school. I know I need to help her. What should I do? -- Protecting My Child, Denver

DEAR PROTECTING MY CHILD: Tell your daughter that you want to help her through this difficult situation. Ask her to tell you about as many different scenarios as she can recall where she has been bullied. Get her to name names, dates, locations and times to the best of her ability. Tell her you want to speak to her school's authorities about the other students' behavior. Ask if she would like to join you in the conversation. The reason you want to let her know up front is that you do not want to risk embarrassing her unnecessarily by having her learn that you are advocating on her behalf without her knowledge.

Whether she agrees to go or not, schedule a meeting with the principal and explain what has been happening. Bring the list you made with your daughter, and describe the various incidents with the principal. Ask for support. You want these children to stop harassing your daughter, and if the school authorities will not help you, the next stop may be the police department.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew is coming to stay with my family for a couple of months, and I want to make sure that we have a comfortable experience. I already know that he is somewhat of a slob. (I have seen his room at home and know that his parents struggle with him to keep it clean.) I want to set house rules for when he is with us, and at the same time, I don't want to come off like a drill sergeant. What should I do? -- Inspiring Tidiness, Atlanta

DEAR INSPIRING TIDINESS: When your nephew arrives, welcome him warmly. Show him his room. Let him get comfortable, and then invite him to join you for a family meeting. Tell him the lay of the land, including what spaces are common areas, which are off-limits and what his chores will be. Clarify how you like your house to be tended, and what you expect his role to be in honoring that. Talk to him about how you expect him to keep his room and make it clear that you will check. Since he is not neat, you may want to allow him a little leeway in that private space -- as long as he keeps the rest of your home tidy. Get him to agree to your terms. If you find him slipping, tell him right away. Being proactive will prevent unnecessary drama later.