DEAR HARRIETTE: My 16-year-old daughter has been going to school with the same kids since kindergarten, but has recently informed me how some of her peers are bullying her. They are incredibly rude to her, physically push her in the hallways and constantly make fun of her. She tries to play off the situation in a mature way and says it does not bother her. However, whenever she comes home from school, she looks upset. She has made friends from other schools now and is spending more time with them, but she still has to see the mean kids at her school. I know I need to help her. What should I do? -- Protecting My Child, Denver

DEAR PROTECTING MY CHILD: Tell your daughter that you want to help her through this difficult situation. Ask her to tell you about as many different scenarios as she can recall where she has been bullied. Get her to name names, dates, locations and times to the best of her ability. Tell her you want to speak to her school's authorities about the other students' behavior. Ask if she would like to join you in the conversation. The reason you want to let her know up front is that you do not want to risk embarrassing her unnecessarily by having her learn that you are advocating on her behalf without her knowledge.

Whether she agrees to go or not, schedule a meeting with the principal and explain what has been happening. Bring the list you made with your daughter, and describe the various incidents with the principal. Ask for support. You want these children to stop harassing your daughter, and if the school authorities will not help you, the next stop may be the police department.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My nephew is coming to stay with my family for a couple of months, and I want to make sure that we have a comfortable experience. I already know that he is somewhat of a slob. (I have seen his room at home and know that his parents struggle with him to keep it clean.) I want to set house rules for when he is with us, and at the same time, I don't want to come off like a drill sergeant. What should I do? -- Inspiring Tidiness, Atlanta

DEAR INSPIRING TIDINESS: When your nephew arrives, welcome him warmly. Show him his room. Let him get comfortable, and then invite him to join you for a family meeting. Tell him the lay of the land, including what spaces are common areas, which are off-limits and what his chores will be. Clarify how you like your house to be tended, and what you expect his role to be in honoring that. Talk to him about how you expect him to keep his room and make it clear that you will check. Since he is not neat, you may want to allow him a little leeway in that private space -- as long as he keeps the rest of your home tidy. Get him to agree to your terms. If you find him slipping, tell him right away. Being proactive will prevent unnecessary drama later.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I attended the recent funeral of a family member, and I saw my cousin walk up to the open casket. She took a "selfie" and began taking photos of the deceased. I felt it was in poor taste on my cousin's part to do such a thing. Am I wrong for thinking that it is not appropriate to take a picture during a funeral service, or is it a touching way to remember the deceased? I need help with this one. -- Do You See Me?, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR DO YOU SEE ME: In this day and age of cellphone cameras and selfies, it is all too common for people to take pictures of themselves everywhere, including at funerals. Does that make it right? No. But again, it is no longer an uncommon occurrence. Taking pictures of deceased loved ones is not a new trend, however. Many people have made the choice to photograph their loved ones in the casket to save for personal reasons.

My recommendation for anyone considering taking pictures at wakes or funerals when the deceased is on view is to operate with the highest level of discretion. People grieve in a variety of ways. It is important to remain sensitive to those around you. To honor the deceased is to keep such picture-taking to a minimum. And for sure, you should not post them on social media. That would be in poor taste.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to dinner with longtime friends whose political views are different from mine. I believe in the rule that you should not talk about politics in a public setting. That was not the case in this situation. The conversation turned political and voices were raised, and I stood up to end the conversation. Now we have hurt feelings with the parties involved. I know my actions were extreme, but things were totally out of control, and I was upset. How do I deal with this if I am invited to future events? -- Agree to Disagree, Chicago

DEAR AGREE TO DISAGREE: As you know, not everybody shares your view about when to talk politics. Doing so at a dinner party may not be the best time, primarily because it can be hard to enoy the food if you are in a heated discussion. Shy of that, though, it could be wise to spar over different ideologies provided that those speaking have knowledge of the facts of the conversation and are not just toeing the party line.

Standing up to the end the conversation is curious. Was there a host? What was that person doing? Why did you feel the need to designate yourself as the controller of the situation? Trying to defuse a bomb of any kind, including a political conversation, can become more incendiary than the original bomb itself.

In the future, if you choose to be in a mixed group where folks have opposing views, be prepared to speak calmly about your beliefs and be sure to have supporting evidence. Do not try to incite anyone's emotions and do not act like the host if you are not, unless you fear violence. Otherwise, go with the flow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My synagogue does a biannual trip to Israel each year. Our senior rabbi and the director of the Hebrew school take about 10 high school students with them to Israel. My daughter has recently said that she wants to go on this trip because she thinks it will be a good experience. Young Jewish adults are eligible to go on Birthright, a free trip to Israel when they are 18 to 24 years old. I would much rather my daughter go on Birthright instead of with our synagogue because she will be older, and the price is much better. The trip that our synagogue is taking is more than $2,000, while Birthright is free. Am I making the right choice by asking that she wait? -- Weighing the Odds, Brooklyn, New York

DEAR WEIGHING THE ODDS: I want to start by saying that I do not think anyone should be doing the pilgrimage to Israel right now as the war that is currently underway continues to escalate, even in the face of an agreed-upon cease-fire. It is not a safe time to go. I know from talking to many families over the years that often the news reports about war in the area make the reality seem much worse than it is over much of Israel. But by all accounts, the danger is very real right now.

That said, whenever it is the right time for your daughter to go to Israel, the Birthright program has been highly lauded over the years. Given that its curriculum is well-respected and it is free, it seems to be the perfect and practical choice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is a really intense dancer. This year, she got involved in a pre-professional program that takes up at least half of her day. She leaves school every day at 11:45 a.m. in order to catch several trains and get to her dance studio by 1 p.m. Since this program began, she started to take only the required classes that she needs to graduate. I learned from a mutual friend that she does not want to go to college and only wants to pursue a dance career. She is very talented, but being a dancer requires a particular build and a lot of luck, which I am afraid she does not have. I want her to pursue her dreams, but I think college should be priority over a career that could be ruined in a second. How can I tell her that she should go to college instead of pursuing a dance career? -- Helping a Friend, Salt Lake City

DEAR HELPING A FRIEND: This is what parents and guidance counselors are for! You do not have the authority or gravitas to convince your friend to change her heart's desire, nor should you. While I, too, am one to advocate for a college education for everyone, I also know that many people become successful following their hearts with paths that seem unlikely.

Rather than trying to change your friend's mind, ask her questions. Find out what her teachers are saying about her potential. Ask her if she is developing a plan for success in the dance world. You can encourage her to get serious about her passion so that she can learn about her options and then decide if it remains the right decision for her.