DEAR MISS MANNERS: When did people become so insecure that they take offense at pretty much everything?

I’ve noticed a huge shift. Compliments given by strangers are now considered an insult or an attack against their feelings. A mom is insulted, a woman with a pretty hairstyle is offended, someone with a nice outfit is annoyed. "You look nice today" is taken as saying she looks bad the rest of the week.

What’s wrong with people?

What is a society when nobody talks to anyone, and we let insecurities turn us cold and isolated? Then you have people saying, "I’m lonely and no one talks to me." Well, what did you expect?

Due to being a single mom, people often ask what happened to cause my divorce. I just laugh and tell the truth -- that I was young and dumb -- and everyone always laughs in agreement. This has started some very funny conversations, and it has also started conversations with women who are struggling in their own marriages and need someone to talk to.

Due to financial struggles, I have purchased 99% of my clothes at resale shops or garage sales. I have always gotten compliments on my clothes; some women even ask where I bought my blouse, jacket, etc.

Do I get insulted, and say, “Oh my gosh, how dare she intrude in my life struggles”? No. I say, “Thank you -- and you know, I’ve had it so long I don’t remember where I bought it.” Compliment given, compliment accepted.

My faith keeps me motivated to be happy and kind to others. Here’s a final thought: If you use your time and energy to be happy and kind to others, you won’t have the time to look for insults where no insult exists.

A compliment to a stranger might just be what they need that day!

GENTLE READER: Or not.

Yet Miss Manners agrees that the unpleasant habit of taking insult when none was intended is widespread. She admires and appreciates your behavior. Indeed, the world would be a lot more pleasant if people presumed goodwill in others.

There are exceptions, of course: compliments that are salacious, for example. Questions that imply a slur. Or plain nosiness, which is also rampant. No one should feel forced to answer personal questions.

But barbed comments from strangers may be ignored, and nosy questions may be deflected. All Miss Manners asks is that they not inspire further rudeness.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 56 years old and have a special person in my life. When we go out and meet people, how do I introduce her? As my girlfriend, my lady friend, my pillow pal? Please help.

GENTLE READER: Only if you expunge the term “pillow pal,” which has left Miss Manners with a mental picture she would prefer not to entertain.

The accepted term for an established unmarried couple is now “partner.” Short of that is “friend.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in my friend’s wedding a year ago, and now her anniversary is coming up. However, in the last six months, it does not seem like the marriage is going well, and I’m honestly not sure if the couple is still together.

This leads me to wonder whether I should even mention her anniversary on the day. I think texting “Happy anniversary!” is out of the question, and even posting something like, “Ah! A year ago, we were all together, celebrating you!” feels like it would just make my friend feel bad that her marriage did not go the way she expected. But then, it also seems rude to not say anything!

GENTLE READER: If you do not know if the couple is still together, then Miss Manners infers that your own interactions with the bride have also been somewhat infrequent -- supplemented, perhaps, by digital glimpses over social media.

In such a case, you would not be expected to have an exact recollection of an anniversary date, and may therefore confine yourself to simply checking in, as the saying goes. If you invite her out for a meal around the one-year mark, it could be explained (as you learn more) as either a sympathy visit or a celebration.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family holds an annual reunion, and members rotate who hosts it. One night of the reunion weekend is typically a nice dinner.

Our cousins hosted this year’s reunion dinner, and just before the meal, several of their friends arrived. These guests were not family members, and over half of the family did not know them.

These people were very nice, and we enjoyed their company, but none of us were aware that non-family members would be invited, and there was no precedence for inviting friends to our family reunion.

Some of us found it to be inappropriate, but we are curious what Miss Manners thinks. Should we say anything to the hosts?

GENTLE READER: You could ask them if this is the new precedent: “We were so happy to meet your friends, but I think some family members were surprised and confused that we had acquired new ones. Should we open up our reunion to others from now on?”

If the friends were pleasant, however, Miss Manners does not see any reason to exclude them on principle. You may even find it is more fun to have them there. Most families behave better when there’s outside company.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The owners of a business for whom I did some work threw a company barbecue and asked guests to sign up to bring a dish.

I was stunned, and did not attend for a few reasons: 1. The staff creates the owners' income for them. 2. A sign-up sheet? Really?? And 3. The owners are VERY wealthy. A caterer would have been very accessible.

GENTLE READER: This company may want to solicit more effective ways to thank their employees. Miss Manners suggests they put up a sign-up sheet.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend from childhood who is a wealthy, narcissistic hoarder. This means she spends all her time buying needless crap from the bargain bins of every box store you can imagine. For example, she’ll buy several blenders just because they are on sale -- not because she needs one.

Her house is filled with this junk. I have politely mentioned therapy, but that just gets radio silence.

She insists on sending me Christmas and birthday gifts, and sometimes even half-birthday gifts. (I do not send gifts.) These presents are always worthless junk she has purchased -- plastic kitsch, novelty sticky notepads, paper napkins with idiotic sayings on them, graph paper, plastic toothpicks that look like toilet plungers (TWICE I've received a box of those), random computer connection cords, and more.

She just paid $36 to mail me a Christmas gift containing this junk, all of which I would value at a total of $10 at best. Most of this stuff I have to throw away, though sometimes (rarely) I’m able to find someone who wants some of it.

To me, this isn’t true giving, it’s just poaching random junk from her hoard and mailing it to me so that she can get the “I’m a good person” high from it.

This is really annoying, verging on passive-aggressive. I’ve told her many times she should not send me gifts, that a card is fine (or nothing at all). I even stopped properly thanking her for these “gifts” -- something my etiquette-conscious mother would absolutely have a fit about!

I’ve tried to just go along with it and toss the stuff, but it really annoys me on several levels -- the sheer waste being the main issue for me. Is there a polite way to end this, or should I just be blunt and say, "I toss out almost everything you send, so quit wasting your money. The next box you send, I’m marking 'return to sender' and it’s coming back to you"?

GENTLE READER: And a Merry Christmas to you, too.

Yes, this practice is annoying and yes, it is a waste. But since your friend fills her own house with these items, she must think they are worth something. It is impolite for you to suggest otherwise, especially when they are given as presents.

Rather than rudely send them back, just donate them and be done with it. Your friend is not listening to even your most blunt condemnations, so why waste your energy on anger and resentment? Use it, instead, for holiday cheer and a little grace. Miss Manners will use hers, meanwhile, to get the image of toilet plunger toothpicks out of her head.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it considered rude to take photos of the interior of a friend’s home (the living room), just to show my family how pretty the house was? My friend told me I was being very rude by taking pictures of her house. I was not going to post them.

GENTLE READER: It is only considered rude if you get caught. And you were.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)