DEAR MISS MANNERS: As my husband grows older, he is becoming increasingly feral with his eating habits.
We usually enjoy our meals together at the table, but of late, he has abandoned all forms of dining etiquette. He uses his cutlery as if knives and forks were garden instruments. He slurps, grunts, chews loudly and smacks his lips, among other things. It is altogether unpleasant, and I shudder to think what new habit will come next.
When I question him about these habits, he tells me that there is no need to display any niceties, as it is only the two of us. He claims he knows how to behave in polite company. Not only is it insulting and off-putting, I fear that one day he might forget himself in this “polite company” that apparently does not include me.
I have tried to discuss this matter with him, but to no avail. Icy stares do not work, either. I am at my wits’ end. I am tempted to serve his next meal in a dog bowl.
GENTLE READER: While for some, the pandemic has only reinforced the absurd notion that one does not have to be polite to the people with whom one lives, Miss Manners has noticed that the rising divorce rate during it proves otherwise.
You may be able to get away without shoes while being house-bound, but you cannot forgo respect. And the contention that one would pull oneself together for company is not a defense; as you point out, it is only more insulting. Perhaps you can suggest that until your husband can display good manners, you will be dining elsewhere -- even if that means in the bedroom with a tray.