DEAR MISS MANNERS: In these days of many new rules, all our local grocery stores now have one-way lanes. Being a highly obedient type, naturally I follow the arrows. (Although in the beginning, I have to admit I didn’t notice them!)

When encountering a shopper coming toward me, I have taken to saying “Oops, you’re going the wrong way on a one-way street,” which I thought sounded reasonable.

One person said, “Well, I’ve decided to make it a two-way street,” and another said, “Yeah, I know that.” I have to admit that I reacted to that by saying, “Oh, I see. You just don’t care,” which she did not take well.

I considered parking my cart in front of them and saying “Turn around!” in a loud voice, but of course that is simply impossible for me to do.

What does Miss Manners say is the correct thing to do in correcting people who don’t understand the new rules of today?

GENTLE READER: Yes, the rules keep developing. As you said, you yourself did not notice the grocery store traffic patterns at first.

Miss Manners recommends that you continue proceeding as though going the wrong way is an innocent mistake -- and simply maneuvering around any offenders. As you have found, scolding them does not make them reform.

Given the year we have had, you will likely need to save your righteous indignation for future issues and more stringent laws, like not feeding the locusts when they arrive.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a 71-year-old man who was given the name of Shelly -- a family name, though I’ve always gone by the nickname of Skip. All my life I’ve had to put up with snickers and boorish jokes, not to mention the misunderstanding that I am female.

I’ve dealt with all of this graciously, never openly complaining. However, I would not wish this situation on others.

My grandson and his wife are now expecting their first child, a boy, and in keeping with their desire to embrace family heritage, have decided to name the baby after me. Hearing this has given me a great deal of pause, and now I think that I should have made my dislike of my name known to them privately ages ago.

How can I thank them for wanting to honor me, yet let them know that I would not want my great-grandson going through life with the burden that I’ve carried?

GENTLE READER: Thereby depriving him of a special bond -- even if it’s one rooted in resentment -- with his great-grandfather?

Miss Manners recommends that you politely, but cautiously, thank the parents by telling them, “I am so pleased to have someone with whom to share the precious burden that is our family name. Here’s hoping that he will have an easier time of it than I have. If he would like any tips or alternative nicknames, he can always consult me. But you will also not hurt my feelings if you find you want to reconsider.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received an email regarding a job I applied for. It was sent from an email address with one name attached to it, and was signed “p.p.” followed by two other names, separated by a slash:

Sent: Last Name 1, First Name 1, email address

Dear Ms. My Last Name,

Message

p.p. First Name 2 Last Name 2 / First Name 3 Last Name 3

To whom should I address my reply? Also, I would like to reply addressing the correct person (or people) using the format Ms. Last Name or Mr. Last Name, but I cannot tell the gender of the third person by their first name. An internet search for the person has not yielded any clues. How should I address the email?

GENTLE READER: The “p.p.” or “per procurationem” used to be legalese (a popular dialect of Latin) for, “Person 2 is sending the email on behalf of Person 1, because Person 1 does not know how to type.”

It has largely fallen out of use, due to email, but remains perfectly acceptable. In responding, you may address yourself directly to Person 1. Or you may respond to Person 2 (assuming you have Person 2’s email), asking that your response be shared with Person 1. As Person 3 just seems to be along for the ride, Miss Manners gives permission to ignore him. Or her.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve wondered for some time now whether or not it is acceptable to open a bottle of wine and have a half-consumed glass in your hand when your dinner guests arrive. I find it’s nice to loosen up and enjoy those first few sips while I finish the preparations.

Is it rude to have started drinking before your guests arrive? Does it make them feel obligated to continue having what you’ve just opened? Should you still open the bottle they have brought as soon as they come in?

I’ve been thinking more about this recently, as my husband and I have been participating in socially distant happy hours with another couple. When we meet them at the park or picnic table, is it OK for us to show up a few minutes early, open the bottle and enjoy a glass before they arrive? Or is this akin to starting the meal before everyone’s been seated?

GENTLE READER: Cocktail hour does not have as fixed a start clock as a meal; in normal times, you would be serving drinks as guests arrive. (Serving whatever they may bring is optional, as it is intended as a present.)

This blurs the situation enough to cover reasonable behavior. Who knows that the glass in your hand was not intended for a guest who arrived earlier?

The exception can even, Miss Manners supposes, be extended to include your early arrival at the picnic table. Just promise her that, when home entertaining returns, you will never greet your guests by calling over your shoulder, “Honey, the Cartwrights are here” and punctuating it with a gulp from said glass.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the age of COVID-19 and social distancing, the number of social events where one may meet a prospective mate has significantly diminished. Because of that, online dating has lately become one of my primary ways of meeting people.

Historically, as a guy, I would look at the photos/profiles of particular females that I would like to meet, then I would reach out to them to see if they would like to link up for a phone conversation or maybe coffee. At least 90% of them do not respond, and I have sent so many that I tend to be numb if I don’t get a response.

Rarely, a female will reach out to me and try to set something up. If I’m not interested in this person, I still feel obligated to acknowledge the offer and decline it out of some sense of courtesy -- even though that is not my experience when the tables are reversed. I never get a “Thank you for asking, but no thank you” from a female.

Because of that, I was wondering if in fact I was obligated by etiquette to acknowledge the “reach out.” And if so, what’s the best way to tactfully decline their request to get together?

GENTLE READER: Civilians -- by which, in this case, Miss Manners means “everyone but herself” -- tend to assume too quickly that new technology requires new etiquette. As in, “Do I really have to answer Grandma’s text since she never looks at her phone anyway?”

But the problem you pose is genuinely new. In the old days, when Aunt Rose’s friend’s daughter Brittany called you, your familial obligations to Aunt Rose extended to Brittany, requiring some response. The gentlest answer -- that you are so pleased to be introduced, but that Aunt Rose was unaware that you are not looking to date right now -- is difficult to use when you are registered on a dating site.

But not impossible. Congratulations if you can keep a straight face while answering, “I’m so sorry, but I’m no longer available, I just forgot to take down my profile.” If you cannot, Miss Manners reluctantly condones not answering, on the theory that business etiquette does not require responses to those calling -- metaphorically, in this case -- to sell you something.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine is turning 60 and having a birthday party. She doesn’t need money, so I made a $60 donation to a good charity in her name.

But when the acknowledgement card came, it did not have the amount of the gift on it. Would it be tacky for me to write in “$60 in honor of your 60th birthday,” or should I just leave the amount a mystery?

GENTLE READER: Paying $60 for a 60th birthday party strikes Miss Manners -- and probably would strike your friend -- as less clever than you are hoping. This leaves her to wonder if the clarification is worth the effort. An actual gift that showed some thought for your friend’s interests would be ever so much cleverer.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)