DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ll be receiving my degree soon. Since I am in a competitive field, I am applying to a lot of jobs. Naturally, some jobs are less desirable than others. I don’t want to lose any job offers I may receive, but I don’t want to accept a position if a better one comes along.

What is the proper way to postpone accepting a job offer so that it still remains a viable option, while allowing time for other potential offers? How long can I reasonably expect an offer to stay on the table?

GENTLE READER: This is a question of business etiquette, which, at least in this case, means your behavior should be businesslike: efficient, practical and honest.

You can reasonably expect a few days’ grace -- more, if your would-be employer already knows that it will require complex considerations such as negotiating with a spouse or moving to another city. Just as with salary negotiations, you are free to ask for what you want or need -- and the employer is free to reject the request or make a counter-offer.

There is no harm in explicitly saying that you are weighing it against other offers. Miss Manners warns strongly against untruths or going back on your word, but she promises not to inquire if those other offers have actually been made.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was sitting in a government office’s waiting room and a child sneezed several times without covering her mouth. Her parents did not remind her to sneeze into a tissue or her sleeve.

I was frozen between not wanting to be rude by chastising strangers, and fearing that I might catch a disease, so I said nothing.

I cannot always avoid public places. With influenza, colds and now coronavirus menacing us, what polite thing can I say to remind people how not to spread their germs?

GENTLE READER: Recent events have reminded us all of the damage that can be inflicted by infectious diseases. One can usually protect oneself in the situation you describe by moving out of range.

But your question is: At what point do we all become public health officials, who are not only allowed, but required, to override the etiquette dictate against correcting other people’s behavior?

In the situation you describe, it is possible for you, as a private citizen, to satisfy the requirements of both safety and etiquette: Say “Poor dear” and tell the parents that you would be happy to give little Norah a tissue.

Someone will no doubt correct Miss Manners, that public health is not to be trifled with by pausing to consider something as trivial as manners. She reminds that reader that etiquette is never more important than in trying times. And demanding that the family remove the sneezing child seems to her to violate another thing health professionals are telling us: Panic makes things worse.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an older sister who continues to go out to socialize. She posts photos of herself with friends on social media, despite the current need for everyone to stay home. These are not outings to get needed supplies, nor is she going to an essential job.

I tried to gently mention how we should not be going out at all if it can be helped, and she insisted it was only to see a few people, so she was fine. I am worried not only for her own safety, as she is of mature years, but also for that of her 13-year-old daughter (who has a history of pneumonia), her friends who are seniors, and society at large.

She lives where there is a large population of senior citizens, and also where there have been less stringent preventative orders than elsewhere. How does one press such a dire subject for everyone’s safety to someone who isn’t taking the situation seriously?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette cannot substitute for responsible public officials in setting health policy during a pandemic.

Miss Manners does not say this to invalidate your all-too-familiar problem, but rather to acknowledge the heartbreaking results when we are forced to use the wrong tool for the job.

What she can suggest is treating the situation as you would an irresponsible health choice made by a close relative. Your sister is endangering herself, your niece and her friends: This is worth saying to her, even if you are unable to convince her.

When normalcy returns, we will just have to remember that such strong solutions are reserved for dire and imminent threats -- they are not a license to harangue passing strangers about their bad habits.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When a friend’s daughter got married, I enjoyed seeing her photos on social media, and was very happy for her. I sent her (the daughter) a message and told her I would love to send her a gift if she could send me her address.

I was a bit stunned when she responded and said thank you, but that she didn’t want a gift. I am on a very fixed income, so sending her a present is not a simple matter for me financially, yet I had really wanted to do it to bless her in this happy period of her life.

I felt very slighted by her refusal. (At least I hadn’t purchased a gift yet.) Am I wrong for feeling a bit rejected when she said no gifts were necessary?

GENTLE READER: So frequently does Miss Manners hear from Gentle Readers about their frustrations at constant demands for gifts from friends, relatives and co-workers that she admits to surprise at your question.

Remember that your desire is to express your congratulations and good wishes in a meaningful and memorable way. Your message may already have done this, but if not, a longer, handwritten letter will surely do so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter and her husband, who live in another state, are expecting their first child. We are so very excited for them, as they have been through extensive fertility treatments.

Plans were made to hold a shower, and invitations were printed. Then the severity of the virus outbreak became clear.

My question is whether we should still send the invites but include a note indicating the shower may or may not be held virtually (we are still trying to figure out logistics). Or do we just not send them at all, and cancel any shower plans? We want to be sensitive to this situation while balancing our excitement for the parents.

GENTLE READER: Then do not send them, and do not send an online version. You have been spared from committing the error of throwing a shower for your own daughter.

But aside from that stiff rule, which is so commonly disobeyed, Miss Manners cannot imagine that you think this is a good time to ask others to shop for your family. Surely you understand that they have their own pressing needs and concerns.

That does not mean that others may not be happy for you, if you tell them the good news. But can’t you just tell them, with a message or a call, without setting them up to do anything in return except to offer their congratulations?

If you have already done that, you will have another opportunity to share your excitement when the baby is born and birth announcements are made. Perhaps by then, people will be able to pay the new baby a visit. Some of them might even be able to pick up some knitted bootees to take along.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a man who has been very thin all of my life, and I’m curious as to why people will make weight comments to me, although they wouldn’t consider making a weight comment to an overweight person.

When I met an acquaintance I hadn’t seen for some time, before even saying “Hello,” she commented, “Have you lost weight?”

I fought the urge to say, “No; have you gained weight?” and instead just replied “No.” Can you think of a better response?

GENTLE READER: “Why? Have you found some?”

Miss Manners is amazed that you believe that overweight people escape similar persecution. But then, they tend to believe that you do.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is set to graduate from a preeminent university. I purchased announcements and have them all set to mail, but COVID-19 has wreaked havoc on so many people and plans. May I still send them out, even though official commencement ceremonies are postponed? How do I address the date change?

GENTLE READER: Can you peel off the stamps and reuse them?

As these are announcements, not invitations to attend the ceremony, no one will be inconvenienced by the postponement, however disappointing it is to you and your son.

If he is given a new date, you can write that in by hand, and Miss Manners trusts that everyone will immediately realize the reason.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)