DEAR MISS MANNERS: Have you thought of making an exception to the rule for mailed thank-you notes during this period, when the government wants us to be cautious about the spread of the COVID-19 virus?

Many who embrace strict rules of etiquette are seniors. A well-timed email thank-you note exception might save lives.

GENTLE READER: Electronics have been of incalculable benefit to all who are sequestered in their homes. As difficult as the present situation is, imagine what it would be like if we were closed off from medical news and from virtual contact with relatives and friends.

But congratulations on a novel excuse for not writing letters. Miss Manners has received countless such excuses, but yours is the first to declare it a health risk.

She would like to see authoritative public health statistics indicating that paper mail is so lethal that lives would be saved if it ceased. Should that be true, it would surely apply also to the home deliveries that have become a crucial substitute for going out to buy necessities.

She asks you also to consider the psychological toll of social distancing: loneliness for some, overcrowding for others -- and for all, the sudden lack of connectedness when the welcome human touch ceases.

Handwritten letters may seem anachronistic when so many other forms of communication are available, but they are more personal. For most messages, ease and speed make electronic methods preferable. But when expressing deep emotion, such as gratitude and condolences, the labor of writing with one’s own hand shows that thought and care were considered even more important.

Try to imagine the house-bound person, whose inbox and messaging apps are crammed with advertisements, schemes and cancellations, plus bragging and complaining from hardly known people, and whose paper mail is all asking to buy or to give.

But there, too, is an envelope with the actual handwriting of someone who seems truly grateful for a present given or a favor done. It indicates that kindness is appreciated. Don’t we need some of that?

But Miss Manners is willing to make some concessions. Do not lick the envelope; use water and a sponge. And do not -- repeat: not -- plant a kiss on the paper.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to take medicine in the family room with my girlfriend present?

GENTLE READER: How is the medicine administered? Do you need the lady’s help in taking it? Or has she just reminded you to take it, and you want to prove to her that you are doing so?

Is there any possibility that she is squeamish?

Miss Manners cannot know the degree of intimacy that prevails at your house. So just one final question: How much effort is it to go to a bathroom?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When sending an unexpected gift, should you tell the person to check the mail, or wait until they respond?

GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, nowadays, you would be better advised to wait until they respond -- which would answer your doubt -- or do not respond, when you can appear to give them the benefit of the doubt (Miss Manners’ approved way of prompting them) by suggesting that the present must have failed to arrive.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a teacher, and part of my job is contacting the parents or guardians of students having academic difficulties. I obtain the contact information from an internal school website.

Often, the listed first names of parents are (at least to me) gender indeterminate, and I don’t know whether to start the email with “Mr.” or “Ms.” Using “Dear Mr./Ms.” seems insensitive and borderline offensive.

I imagine this dilemma affects people in non-teaching occupations, as well. Do you have a suggestion on how to deal with this sometimes-awkward issue?

GENTLE READER: Seize the opportunity to use “M.,” with or without an ambiguous squiggle. With any luck, this neutral honorific will catch on and we can begin to obliterate the often-misgendering labels.

People may be confused at first, possibly wondering if you believe that you are addressing a French gentleman, but if we can all push through the awkward phase, we may be on our way to updating society.

By way of thanks, however, please have the courtesy not to point out that Miss Manners herself is still part of the antiquated tradition.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After social events at our home -- barbecues, dinner parties, holidays -- I always send our guests a note to thank them for coming (and for their side dish, dessert, wine, etc. if they brought something). Unless it’s a very casual event like a weekend cookout, I send written notes. (For last-minute or casual events, I’ll send individual emails.)

My partner feels this is inappropriate and a waste of paper and stamps, and that it is the guests’ responsibility to thank the hosts, not vice versa. I believe that, a) it’s a few minutes and a pittance; b) I really am glad they were there; and c) what’s wrong with a few more thank-you notes in the world?

He also worries that it sounds like I’m fishing for a reciprocal invite, though I never say anything beyond a neutral “I hope we’ll be seeing you again soon!”

GENTLE READER: Reluctant as she is to condemn a thank-you letter, Miss Manners has to agree with your husband -- although not for his reasons.

To thank your guests for coming not-so-subtly points out that they have yet to thank you. Perhaps better to call and have a good gossip over the evening, giving them the chance to thank you for it then. You may commence an unrelated written correspondence anytime after that.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother-in-law sends group texts -- mainly to his family, whom I have never met, but I’m included. I find it rude and invasive, plus I don’t like getting constant texts from people I don’t know. It’s similar to party-line phones from when I was very young.

I constantly delete these texts. How do I let him know I don’t want to be included?

GENTLE READER: “New phone, who is this?”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went to visit friends out of town, staying at their home to enjoy a weekend festival. One of the friends I was staying with was also performing in the festival, and by Sunday evening, was exhausted and went to bed around 8 p.m.

I remained at the festival and met a new friend, enjoying conversation and a meal. Later, my new friend offered to drop me off where I was staying, which I accepted. On the way, he mentioned that he needed to use the facilities, if possible.

Now, I don’t want to inconvenience a person when nature calls, but as a guest, I also don’t feel right allowing a complete stranger into my host’s home.

In this case, my new friend politely changed course and said that he would find a restroom on the way to his own home after he dropped me off. So I was spared having to provide a response. But how should I respond in the future when this kind of thing happens? What prerogatives are allowed to a guest?

GENTLE READER: They are not allowed to invite additional guests, no matter what kind of intentions nature has in mind.

Not only because it was not your home, but also because you had just met the gentleman, Miss Manners is worried about your safety. No doubt, he assumed that you were having similar concerns. But then, there may be some doubt that he really had to go to the bathroom.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to photograph people when they are sleeping?

GENTLE READER: It is, if the subject is over the age of 5.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A good friend does something which bothers me. When we are with other people and she is talking, she looks exclusively at the other person as she talks, almost as if I am not there.

It really annoys me, and I don’t know how to point this out to her without sounding peevish. Rather than politely addressing this, I have just been leaving.

GENTLE READER: What then, Miss Manners wonders, is your definition of peevish? This habit of your friend’s may be annoying, but perhaps your friend considers that since you are close, you already have the information she is conveying.

If that is not the case, ask her questions. She will be forced to address you -- and likely be grateful for the attentiveness.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My generous mother-in-law loves to shower my three children with presents -- at every holiday and other “just because” times during the year.

My kids love it, of course, and I don’t want to deprive her of the joy of giving gifts. However, we live in a small house and cannot keep everything she gives.

Would you please give me a gracious response to her question, “Are the children using what I gave them?” Sometimes the answer is “yes,” but other times we have given those items away. I’m not sure how to respond in these cases.

GENTLE READER: “I can assure you that they are well loved” -- omitting the true ending of that sentence, “... by someone else.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)