DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it normal to make decisions in your current relationship based on the fact that you might not be together in the future? Example: I don’t want to have my tubes tied in case this marriage does not last, and my next husband wants to have kids with me.
I was having this discussion with my significant other, and they said I was being sensitive and I should not take it negatively -- that “it’s just real life.”
GENTLE READER: Say what? Miss Manners was still following you through the example. Certainly, if you do not think a relationship is going to last, no one can blame you for thinking about different possible futures.
Expressing those thoughts to a husband you are not so sure about is another matter. Miss Manners got lost when the husband was demoted to a significant other and chided you for being overly sensitive.
If you were the husband on the receiving end of your wife’s unpleasant expression of doubt, it would be reasonable to be upset and concerned that you were being pushed out the door -- in thought, if not yet in deed.