DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I moved into the same neighborhood as some friends. (Let’s call them the “first couple.”) We have gone to dinner regularly for years as two couples, until a year ago, when our friends started inviting a third couple to join us.

The wife of the third couple is very flirty ONLY to my husband, while she acts “generic” towards me and anyone else in the room. My husband admits he is uncomfortable when she insists that he give her a ride on his motorcycle or shoot a game of pool with her. My husband has joined her in the basement to shoot pool, while her own husband just smiles, and the rest of us watch football upstairs.

I confidentially mentioned to her that my husband is uncomfortable with her constantly asking for a ride on his motorcycle, and suggested maybe she could stop for a while. Next time we saw her, she was MORE insistent and flirty.

I mentioned this to my husband, and to the first couple, who all think she is just having fun. My husband said he does not like her, and agrees that if I do not want to be around her, we will go to dinner only when she is not around. He now meets the men only, though on occasion he runs into her at the neighbor’s house.

I feel she ignored my request to stop asking my husband for a ride, and she has never been my friend. I feel like I made a request that was not honored, and now I look like the “psycho wife.” Please tell me how I should handle this situation.

GENTLE READER: While it is not fair of Couple 1 to assume that it is you, not your husband, who objects to the other wife’s behavior towards your husband, it is perhaps to be expected. After all, you are the one who voiced objections. Your husband played pool with her; he has not rebuffed her behavior. And the conflict has been resolved by removing both you and her from the socializing.

Miss Manners does not doubt what your husband told you in private. But she knows that the only workable solution will be for him to speak up, if not to the offender, then at least to Couple 1. And now that everyone thinks the problem is you, he will have to be that much more persuasive when he does.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wonderful husband turned 40 this year and couldn’t be more handsome. His hair, however, is thinning in the middle.

It’s never a “thing” until a couple he knows visits. They make a remark, and laugh at his expense in a kidding fashion, but I know it bothers my husband. It bothers me, too! How can I politely tell them their comments about my husband’s hair are not funny or welcome?

GENTLE READER: The proper way to respond to your visitors’ rudeness is with a humorless silence. But whether this is effective or not as a deterrent, sharing with your husband what you just told Miss Manners will mean more to him than their thoughtless behavior.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A year ago, my husband and I met a couple with whom we thought we had enough in common to make a go of a friendship. We’ve come to regret the impulse.

Each time we’ve seen them has been a bit less enjoyable than the time before -- for us. They either really like us or they are desperate for companionship (I suspect the latter), because they continue to try to make plans. I have delayed responding; I’ve said we couldn’t make dates they suggested and have not offered alternatives.

When I was young and single and didn’t care to go out with someone, I was taught that it was acceptable to simply say that I wasn’t “interested.” I’m pretty sure that’s not the thing to say in this situation, but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to convey the message. I’d like to get past this without being unkind or being thought badly of, but I will accept the bad thoughts if I must. Is there something I can say, or should I simply ignore repeated attempts to connect?

GENTLE READER: Sorry, but there is no decent way to say, “Now that we’ve gotten to know you better, we realize that you’re not very interesting.”

What you can do is to stop inviting them and stop accepting their invitations. No excuses are necessary. Just “Oh, I’m so sorry, we can’t. Thank you for inviting us.”

Miss Manners is aware that many people believe that frank declarations are better than merely drifting away. No, they are not. This is not a divorce we are discussing, but merely the kind of adjustment of social life that happens all the time for many different reasons.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I not come off sounding like the rude person when I ask someone next in line after me at a store checkout to please step back when I am trying to pay for my purchases?

This happens to me regularly, and the times that I have asked someone to please give me a little more space, they look at me like I am rude and sometimes start whispering under their breath to themselves or the person they are with.

Aren’t they being rude for invading my personal space and denying me privacy, especially when I am using my credit card and putting in my PIN codes?

What can I say that will not only make them back up in line, but perhaps even apologize and realize they were in the wrong, not me???

GENTLE READER: There is a slight but crucial difference between “Stop crowding me,” which is clearly meant when you ask for more space, and “I’m afraid I need a bit more space,” which suggests that it is you who need extra room to fish for your wallet or smack your forehead in the hope of remembering your PIN code. Miss Manners’ experience is that casting orders as favors results in fewer under-the-breath insults.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you greet someone you know rather well when you encounter them in a shadowy situation where neither one of you should be, with people you shouldn’t be with? Just asking for a friend.

GENTLE READER: Please tell your friend that it is done with a half-smile, in which the lips move slightly but the cheeks do not. It means “I didn’t see you, and you didn’t see me.”

Miss Manners trusts that the two people are sneaking around to plan surprises for their spouses. Pleasant ones, that is.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 30-year-old woman and I keep my head shaved. I know it’s unusual, but I think it’s cute. That’s all there is to it.

Other people, though, want to talk about it ... a lot. I get all kinds of questions, like, “Why do you have your hair like that?” trying to figure out if I’m sick or if I shaved it for charity. Twice, people who have battled with cancer wanted to know if I share their struggle. I don’t blame them one bit, but I still find it really awkward to say, “No, I just like my hair this way,” especially if I cannot reasonably excuse myself afterward.

With family, I get never-ending comments like, “Do you think you will ever grow your hair out again?” and “I think it was so cute when it was longer” and “If you’re cold all the time, why don’t you grow out your hair?”

I didn’t used to mind, but after years of these questions and comments, I am at the end of my rope. I worry that saying I don’t want to talk about it will seem harsh, give people the wrong idea about my health or make things awkward. What do you suggest?

GENTLE READER: Making things awkward. Or rather, allowing those who keep delivering uncalled-for remarks to realize how awkward and tiresome that is for you. Try something like, “Thanks for keeping track. I suppose I do need a trim.”

As you point out, cancer patients are not in that category. But Miss Manners disagrees that your choice trivializes their necessity. On the contrary, “No, I just do it because I think it’s chic” may free them to realize that wigs are not the only way they may look good.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A guest staying for a short time ran out of clean clothes. She asked me, with apologies, to launder some of her personal items.

What is the etiquette on such requests? Could I have offered to drop her undies at the local dry cleaner for laundering, or should I have suggested she could wash out an item or two and hang them in the bathroom overnight?

GENTLE READER: Asking your host to clean your underwear is so outrageous that Miss Manners recommends failing to acknowledge that it happened. You need only say, “Certainly -- you can hang them in the bathroom, or I can tell you where there is a dry cleaner.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)