DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend’s large, boisterous friend group meets up frequently. The events can go on until the early hours of the morning, but are fairly casual, and after midnight, people leave as they please.

What is the etiquette on saying goodbye?

Around midnight, when my boyfriend and I usually decide it’s time to go, most people will still be there. He insists we should say goodbye to everyone. He will walk around the room hugging everyone goodbye. I will say goodbye to the few people we were speaking to directly, and of course thank the host. There are always some people at the event who I didn’t even speak to that night.

What do you make of this?

GENTLE READER: That your boyfriend’s goodbyes must be as long and drawn-out as the parties themselves. Miss Manners now has a vivid image in her head of a strange man, with whom she has never spoken, suddenly giving her a hug goodbye.

Your approach is not rude -- and is infinitely less jarring.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at a favorite restaurant where Southern fare is served family-style. Although I was dining alone, all of the food was served in large dishes, with portions for at least two people. Fried chicken, pot roast and several mouth-watering sides were presented.

Although I tried to sample each dish, there was far too much food to eat in one sitting. I assumed I would be able to take the leftovers with me, and envisioned a delicious next-day lunch.

When the meal came to an end, however, the waitress whisked the extra food away and wished me a good night. No “doggy bag” was offered. I paid the bill and left.

I must admit I was a bit perplexed by my experience. The meal was not inexpensive, and I cannot believe that the food served to me was to be reheated and served again. Who was in the wrong here -- myself for expecting to take the food I had paid for, or the restaurant for removing it?

GENTLE READER: Did you ask? Servers can be observant and intuitive, but mind-readers they are not. As your meal was being whisked away, Miss Manners assures you that you could have politely stopped her with, “Oh, I was hoping to take that home. Do you have some sort of container that I could fit it all in?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband has been diagnosed with a devastating illness and a worse prognosis. Our friends are stepping up and being a big help. Should I send a thank-you note for every meal and thing they send and bring? Or can I wait until our suffering is over?

GENTLE READER: As much as you are able, Miss Manner recommends that you do it now.

Good people should hear that their kindness, which you may be drawing on in the sad future, is welcome and appreciated. And unfortunately, you will likely be dealing with condolence letters to respond to after the fact.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a fan of a sports team whose fans are known for wearing headgear in the shape of a wedge of cheese. I’m fortunate enough to attend one game a year, where I’m far from the only fan wearing this accoutrement, or similar gear.

This year, the woman seated behind me immediately complained, in a loud and insulting manner, that I was blocking her view. She insisted I had no right to wear the offending chapeau, and when I politely declined to remove it, she threatened to call security to have me ejected for disruptive behavior.

I solved the problem by offering to switch seats with her. Her friends, who were seated next to her, thanked me and apologized for her behavior. I’m reminded of the classic rule for ladies to remove their hats when in a theater, but wouldn’t a sports event, where the team encourages the practice, have a different sensitivity?

GENTLE READER: Where, oh where, does one wear a cheese wedge hat, if not at a Wisconsin sporting event?

Miss Manners suggests that the issue here, as you discovered, is not one of etiquette, but is more practical: that all paying viewers be allowed a reasonable chance to see the event they are attending. Clearly, this is the infraction to which the woman objected, albeit rudely. A quick scan of sight lines before being seated would seemingly solve the problem. Or perhaps Wisconsin fans should consider headwear in a Swiss, or a nice spreadable, so that other patrons can more easily see through it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are expecting our first child, and we have been gifted tons of hand-me-downs from friends and family. Some of these items are great, and we are grateful for them.

However, several family members seem to think that they can just use us as a dumping ground for old, dirty, broken or unsafe items they no longer want. We’ve received a broken playpen, a moldy booster seat, a ripped baby carrier from the 1970s, and towels that are old and rough.

We’ve accepted everything with thank-yous and smiles, but now the burden is on us to sort through the trash and get rid of it. At a time when we are already overwhelmed, this is incredibly frustrating.

While it’s not worth starting an argument with our family members, I’m hoping you’ll consider publishing this as a public service announcement to givers. If you want to hand down baby items, please A) Make sure they are in good, safe, working condition; and B) Check with the parent(s) to ask if it’s something they still need. (We also have multiples of many items.)

GENTLE READER: Consider the announcement made. Miss Manners is sympathetic to your situation, and commends you for enduring it. She humbly reminds you, however, that what you consider a threadbare and smelly old blanket may be, for others, a treasured memory that they are now lovingly passing down to you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a paralegal in a midsize law firm, where I will soon be marking my 10th anniversary. For the past few years, I have been fortunate to be given very generous bonuses and raises by the firm, and I’ve written thank-you notes to the founding partners -- two of whom are located in a different city, and the third of whom is the managing partner of the office where I work.

A few weeks ago, my managing partner stopped by my office with the thank-you notes I had sent to him and returned them to me, saying he was cleaning out his office. On one hand, I was flattered, if not a little surprised, that he had kept these, but I also thought it was a little unusual to return them. I’ve never heard of anyone returning a thank-you note, or, for that matter, of anyone other than a doting parent keeping a note for a number of years.

I know he appreciated the gesture, but I’m wondering if, going forward, I should continue to express my appreciation verbally, or by email, without adding to the correspondence on his desk. It’s obviously not something I’d feel comfortable asking him.

GENTLE READER: When Miss Manners considers demands for the return of correspondence, she is thinking of someone insisting on the return of love letters, not the hoarding of thank-you letters. Otherwise, returning letters is an insulting gesture.

What your managing partner did was, indeed, odd, and in your particular case, she agrees that in future, consideration suggests that you clutter his electronic inbox instead of his desk.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On what occasion would you cover your plate with your napkin? If you don’t finish your meal and want to shield your guests from seeing it? When you finish?

GENTLE READER: Never?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As someone who endeavors to fulfill the obligations of a polite person, I find myself stymied by how to write an appropriate letter of condolence in extraordinarily difficult circumstances.

A young man who had been in my daughter’s class from kindergarten through high school recently died of a drug overdose. We do not have a personal relationship with his parents, yet if I lost my child under such horrific circumstances, I hope I would find it comforting to know that others remembered him and cared enough to write.

But how can one correctly word a letter expressing sympathy for such an unimaginable loss? I hesitate to mention my daughter’s connection to this young man for fear that it would be insensitive, yet it is likely that they would recognize her name, but perhaps not mine.

GENTLE READER: Mentioning your own daughter is only insensitive if the bereaved parents resent your not having suffered a similar loss. Bereaved parents can be forgiven much, but as it is an ugly feeling, it is more generous to assume this is not the case. Miss Manners trusts that a condolence letter from your family -- which includes your daughter -- will be both appreciated and taken in the proper spirit.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)