DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve drifted apart from a longtime friend. She is recently divorced and has a new boyfriend, and unfortunately, we have very little in common at the moment.

Although we share a “friend group,” my husband and I have been left off of recent group invitations for events such as concerts and dinners. I’m actually OK with this, which says a lot about where the friendship is going.

Now we have received an invitation to a graduation party for her child. This feels selective in terms of the expectation of gifts, versus just having fun. Is it rude not to attend?

GENTLE READER: You are free to accept or decline as your inclination and your schedule permit, without fear of being rude. But if you now assume that an invitation from her can only be motivated by greed, the friendship is indeed over.

In your position, Miss Manners would have taken the invitation to mean that while the friendship is more distant, your friend still wished to include you in important life events.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have long wondered about those tiny straws that one receives in mixed drinks in restaurants and bars: They seem more suited to stirring drinks than sipping them. I always just take them out, and drink the beverage from the glass.

I can’t help noticing that I’m in the minority, though. Are you really supposed to drink through them? Am I being uncouth if I drink directly from the glass?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette is more forgiving of being overly, than underly, formal, and the straw is the tank top of eating utensils. Miss Manners has no objection to discarding it in the accompanying paper napkin, whether you are doing so because you need a stiff drink or because the effort of pulling liquid through such a tiny aperture gives you a headache.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During my 25-year marriage, my husband’s brother and his wife have looked down their noses at me and have treated me horribly. My husband acknowledges this; however, he continues to interact with them, stating that he does not want to end his relationship with his only sibling.

Now we have retired and moved to another state. My husband has extended an invitation to see our new home, and they are planning a visit in a few weeks.

I refuse to have them in my home, period. How do I address this? My husband refuses to tell them my feelings and does not want me to make the call. I want to be gone when they come to my home, away to a nice spa hotel. Is this the best way to handle the unwanted houseguests?

GENTLE READER: Sympathetic as she is to your predicament, Miss Manners cannot condone the contemplated rudenesses of uninviting your in-laws or being absent when they arrive. Your husband needs to talk to his brother. The likely outcome will solve your problem: Either the in-laws will promise to mend their ways (in which case, you must give them a chance to do so), or they will be insulted and refuse to make the visit.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have posed this question twice, and realize that you don’t want to answer. Would you mind telling me why women and children loudly say “mwah” when they kiss a person on the cheek? It is only done in this country and is a relatively new custom.

Also, since when do men insist on kissing women on the cheek instead of shaking their hand? It is done by both young and old men. I really would appreciate an answer.

GENTLE READER: Yes, yes, Miss Manners wants to answer. But this is not an emergency hotline, you know. It is true that she can spout any etiquette rule instantly, but there are situations where she thinks things over, as rare as that is in this Twitter-y age.

What has her musing is why she rather likes the “mwah” sound (and whether it shouldn’t be spelled “maaaaa”).

Cheek kissing itself, as an ordinary greeting, is relatively new in the United States, and not limited to males. If anything, they do less, as they tend not to kiss one another. And the rule, which nobody remembers, is that ladies are supposed to initiate the form of greeting, so it is their choice.

Back to the soundtrack: As this sound is made with the mouth open, it cannot be managed while the lips are planted on a cheek. Therefore, it goes with the so-called air-kiss, delivered just beside the face, rather than on it. To Miss Manners’ mind, that is a good substitute for the touch-kiss that not everyone welcomes from acquaintances.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it traditional for the future bride to pick her friends as bridesmaids, or can the future groom suggest a family member?

GENTLE READER: Traditionally, it is the bride’s choice. But while it may not be traditional for her to take into consideration the bridegroom’s wishes, Miss Manners considers it a really good idea.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter-in-law bought me a designer purse for Christmas. I really do not like it and will never use it. It is not anything close to my style, and I know she paid a great amount of money for it.

How can I get rid of this thing without hurting her feelings? I am just sick about this, as I do not want to hurt her -- but on the other hand, I would be ill myself trying to use this monstrosity.

GENTLE READER: How often do you see your daughter-in-law? And how will you dispose of the bag when you decide, as you are on the verge of doing, that the pain of wearing it is stronger than any pain you might cause her?

Miss Manners would like to spare both of you. The only sacrifice she asks is that you keep it for a while, although that would preclude returning it to the store. This is so that if your daughter-in-law mentions it, you can produce it and say that you are saving it for a special occasion. That the occasion is enough time having passed for you to sell it or give it away need not be mentioned.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband travels for business, he sees nothing wrong with going to happy hour or dinner, including alcoholic drinks, with single female colleagues. And picking them up from the train station, airport, etc., and texting them with emoji -- mostly regarding work, but sometimes not. He says these colleagues are just “someone to hang with after work.”

This has always made me feel very uncomfortable. Am I wrong to feel this way? Please help resolve this dispute. We’ve been married for 32 years with three grown children. We have a good marriage, and thankfully are still in love.

GENTLE READER: And yet you haven’t built up any trust? If you go to a male dentist, is your husband worried that you will start kissing as soon as your mouth is no longer numb?

Miss Manners suggests that you take a look at the workaday world. Whether or not you are in it, you must see that it contains all genders. You might also have heard that although cordial working relationships are encouraged, people who don’t know when to stop are apt to run into terrible professional trouble. Men who are fearful of false accusations -- and Miss Manners has heard from many of them -- should not shun their female colleagues, which has professional consequences for all, but provide their own chaperones.

The way to resolve your dispute is to apologize for your lack of trust, and to stop trying to make a fool of him for being the person who is forbidden to mix with his colleagues on business trips.

Unless he is a proven philanderer. In that case, you would best keep him under lock and key, because temptation is everywhere.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a very smart niece and nephew who live out of state. I try to send them gifts that they would like. This year, I sent them a message on social media that I would be sending them gifts via a courier service, and that they should watch for them.

Needless to say, I never received an acknowledgment or thank-you for the message or gifts. I don’t know if they received the gifts or not. Is there a way to convey to them that although I love them and enjoy sending them gifts, I find their silence very rude and disrespectful?

GENTLE READER: What is it that you enjoy about sending presents to people who won’t even acknowledge them?

This is the era of feedback, as your niece and nephew are surely aware. It is impossible to go to the drugstore for an aspirin without then receiving an email asking how you enjoyed the experience. So your relatives have no excuse for withholding feedback from you.

If you don’t want to accept silence as negative feedback and stop throwing good presents after badly received ones, Miss Manners suggests that you mimic a typical commercial plea: “Your feedback is important to me. Please take a minute to let me know if you enjoyed receiving that present.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)