DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been with my boyfriend for seven years. It seems that every time I bring up the goals in this relationship, and ask if he plans a future with me, he always has a reason why marriage is not a good idea and how everything needs to be just right in every way: religious and political views matched, family relationships and friendships accepted mutually, etc.
Everyone around us, including our families, constantly asks when the big day will be, and his response is always “soon” and that he is “planning on it, it’s just a surprise.” At times, he has even told people we are already engaged.
When I ask, he says I have to be patient and it will happen one day. But it’s been seven years, and I have grown tired of hearing these “reasons.” I want to just move on, because I feel that “when you know, you know,” and the proposal should have happened already.
Am I being impatient or expecting this too soon?
GENTLE READER: Seven years of this seems, to Miss Manners, to demonstrate greater patience on your part than your boyfriend has a right to expect. It is apparently long enough for him to have realized that there are no consequences when he gives evasive answers. Whether you decide in advance to leave, you might at least want to change this impression.