DEAR MISS MANNERS: My supervisor came into our office today and began describing to my co-worker, who is also a friend of hers, her intimate encounter with her husband the night before, including frequency, locations and method.

Now, I am a senior lady, married for many decades and hardly a prude. But I was very dismayed by their conversation, and it is not the first time this has happened. I was a captive audience, as it is not possible for me to leave my office.

I need the job and have no desire to irritate anyone by making disparaging remarks.

What can I say or do to extricate myself from having to listen to these conversations and, by my silence, perhaps inadvertently signal my approval of them?

GENTLE READER: It is time to remind the participants that these days, such stories can be misunderstood and result in everyone’s being called into Human Resources for harassment training -- or worse.

Miss Manners intends you to say that the misunderstanding will be someone else’s, while implying that the someone else might be too nearby to proceed with safety.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a dinner party with a friend who claims to be a strict vegetarian. The host served some pre-dinner snacks, and my friend began to eat lots and lots of Parmesan cheese.

I know that this food contains veal rennet, but was unsure if my friend was aware of this. Since she had already started eating the food, I didn’t want to embarrass her in front of everyone else, or make her feel sick by telling her on the drive home. I still feel a twinge of guilt about not sharing my information.

Is it rude to call someone out for breaking their eating practice, or should I mind my own business and leave it to them to know their facts?

GENTLE READER: The term “strict vegetarian” only became necessary when it was discovered that no two people could agree on the definition of “vegetarian.” And Miss Manners suspects that the more restrictive term is also subject to creative interpretation. She therefore considers it a blessing that it is impolite to comment on what someone else does or does not eat -- much less on what has already been eaten.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We had a police officer refer to a crime victim in her late 50s as “elderly.” I don’t think it is an adjective that ever needs to be used; stating only the age should be sufficient. It is a word that doesn’t add any valid information to a newspaper article, and it is based on personal biases. Do you think I am overreacting?

GENTLE READER: Someone would have reacted badly even if the victim had indeed been elderly. The descriptor was, as you say, unnecessary. Miss Manners only hopes that the police officer learns from reactions such as yours to omit the adjective next time, rather than to refer to the next victim as a “youthful octogenarian.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have decorated holiday towels hanging on the racks in my guest bathroom. Having a party with 40 people. Is it correct to offer a carrier of holiday paper towels in addition?

GENTLE READER: Sure, as your guests probably are all fervent believers in the faux taboo against guests using guest towels. Just promise Miss Manners that you do not also subscribe to that ridiculous notion, and will not therefore be upset if some guests actually do use your decorated (whatever that might mean) towels.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am asking your guidance on how to respond when a gift is not what the recipient would prefer.

I love giving gifts, but there is one young couple in my husband’s family for whom I just can’t get it right. I now offer them a nice gift card or the equivalent amount of money, but they always respond with a gift request that I can’t afford.

When I say that I would love to give their requested gift but I legitimately can’t, they always suggest that I can borrow enough to buy it. When I say that perhaps a gift of that size would make a good group gift and I offer the same amount of money, the answer is always “never mind” or “just forget it.”

That leaves me at a loss as to the correct response. The gifts they ask for are always in the few-thousand-dollar range, and my best possible gift offer is only a few hundred dollars, which offends them. I always just end up giving them the amount of money I originally offered, but they aren’t happy about that.

Do you have any suggestions as to what my best behavior should be when I want to give a nice gift but I can’t meet the standards of the recipients?

GENTLE READER: Those are not standards; they are demands, bordering on emotional and financial blackmail.

Miss Manners has long been trying, without success, to explain to people that they are not in charge of ordering their own presents. Gift registries and other commercial interests prey on their greed to persuade them otherwise.

That this couple responds to your offerings with displeasure instead of gratitude ought to be enough to make you stop offending them. Your best behavior would be to wish them a happy Christmas with no mention of the possibility of your doing their shopping.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine is visiting my city for a short while, and I offered to host them. They said they would pay me, and I strongly assured them that hosting them is pleasure enough.

However, they subsequently sent me some money. Is it now more insulting to try to return it, or to keep my mouth shut and pocket the change?

GENTLE READER: It is insulting to treat a host like an innkeeper, especially after expressly being told not to do so.

Yes, yes, Miss Manners realizes that we live in crass times, when being insulted with money is incomprehensible, and therefore your friend did not mean to pay you off and be done with the obligation.

Nevertheless, she would return the money with a note stating merely that you were pleased to offer your hospitality.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Earlier this year, my wife and I rejoiced in the news that, after 10 years of trying, we could expect our first child. It was only then that I began to realize how much we disagreed on matters of personal privacy.

It began when my wife sent out the ultrasound photograph in a mass email to all our friends, announcing her pregnancy. I realize many do that nowadays, but I was taken back -- she didn’t even think to ask me how I felt about this.

Now, her mother has shown us a Christmas card that she designed and printed up, featuring this same image, which she’ll send to over 100 people. (There is also the matter of the card’s text, which announces a “miracle birth at Christmas.”)

I asked my mother-in-law to destroy the card. She refuses. My wife will not even discuss this with me.

For the first time in 20 years, I am seriously considering divorce -- not so much over one card, but over this gulf that has opened between my wife and myself. If we can’t see eye-to-eye over this, what happens after our child is born and we need to make more major decisions?

Miss Manners, what would you have us do?

GENTLE READER: Whatever it takes to resolve this -- and not only the privacy issue, important as it is in regard to the eventual safety of your child, if his or her life will continue to be posted. How you will handle child-rearing is in question.

The idea of ending a 20-year marriage upon the birth of a child horrifies Miss Manners. But what about those 20 years? Is this really the first time that your wife has refused to consider your deep concerns?

Privacy is a peculiar issue these days. Citizens are railing against invasions from government and industry, but at the same time, daily surrendering their own privacy, voluntarily as well as involuntarily.

There is little understanding that privacy is valuable for its own sake, even if there are no legal or financial consequences. Even if dignity is not valued, Miss Manners would think that the internet has exhibited enough evil consequences to displaying one’s life to show the folly of opening this to everyone’s evaluation and criticism.

But if your wife does not understand that, she may think that the disagreement between you is as simple as whether this publicity is ordinary sharing or showing off. She could argue that births have always been publicly announced, and this is merely the modern method of doing so. You, in turn, should point out the dangers, as well as your antipathy to this.

Miss Manners urges you to have this conversation. Now.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I notice that a former ambassador to the United Nations is referred to by government spokespersons as “the ambassador,” and uses a form of that title in his Twitter handle.

Is this correct? I thought only presidents, vice presidents and senators retained their titles after leaving a post.

GENTLE READER: Actually, it is correct, as it is for senators, military officers and some others. It is unique titles, such as “president” and “vice president,” which are supposed to be abandoned upon leaving office -- a rule that Miss Manners notices being constantly violated by themselves and others.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)