DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a baby shower scheduled for my daughter’s first child. The plans are made, the invitations are sent, and the money has been spent on the venue.
However, my mother (the mom-to-be’s grandmother) suddenly took gravely ill, and is likely to pass within the next few days. What should I do?! Cancel, since the family probably won’t really feel like celebrating, and hope for a refund? Or continue as planned?
My gut is telling me to cancel or postpone it, but by now, the venue will be fully booked through the season, and the baby is due in a little over a month. I suppose we could change it to a meet-the-baby shower soon after she’s born, which could be even more fun. But I’m wondering: What is the proper etiquette in such a situation?
GENTLE READER: Losing the deposit -- and possibly scrambling later to find a new venue -- is preferable to being thought heartless. After all, Hamlet is still angry that his mother used the leftover food from her first husband’s funeral at her second wedding.
Miss Manners realizes that, in that case, a delay would not have improved Hamlet’s outlook, but it would have given the other guests less to gossip about.