DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was engaging in an amiable conversation with a neighbor, I brought out my phone, as I had gotten a text message from a colleague. Seeing the phone, the neighbor said, “Give me your digits” -- i.e., they wanted my phone number in order to contact me.

Is there a polite way to decline this request? I know in the past, phone numbers were listed in physical phone directories where anyone could look a neighbor up. But no more.

I want to be a good neighbor, but I also suspect this neighbor’s motives in asking for my “digits” is a bit dodgy, and unrelated to pure neighborliness. I do not want them to have my phone number.

In contemporary culture, the tactic is often to lie and give out fake “digits,” but I find that to be rude. What do you suggest I do?

GENTLE READER: The short answer is to give your neighbor an email address you don’t often check. You might even establish one for this purpose. The request was for “digits,” but if someone asks specifically for your telephone number, you should do the same, after saying, “That’s no longer a good way to reach me.”

If you have patience for the long answer, you will understand that you do not have to choose between politeness and privacy.

The disappearance of the telephone book is not the only relevant change. Telephoning itself is slowly disappearing, although you may not have noticed this, with all the public yapping wherever you go.

Yes, everyone is hunched over what is ostensibly a phone. But they are not all talking, especially not the young. They are using it to text, post, play games, take photographs, take videos and keep up with celebrities and other braggarts -- anything but engage in direct vocal contact. For every parent annoyed at a child for never picking up, there is a child annoyed at a parent for not texting instead.

In addition, the constant bombardment of robocalls has made many people stop answering their telephones at all.

Miss Manners is not sorry to see this happen. She has always maintained that the telephone is an inherently rude instrument. It shrilly demands attention, with no consideration of the circumstances of the person being called. As valuable as it is for emergencies, and for people who really want to talk to each other in real time, it is generally a disruptive nuisance.

So there is no reason for you to be embarrassed at not giving out your telephone number. You will seem to be showing consideration for the person who asked, saving frustration at not being able to reach you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is correcting me in front of anyone, anytime and anywhere. And not in a nice way, but rather snarky. I am self-conscious now that it is getting worse. It happened this weekend when out to dinner with family. What to do?

GENTLE READER: Tell her to stop. Unless, of course, you modeled this behavior by correcting her in public as she was growing up.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Though there is always room for improvement, I try to be forward-thinking with regard to my environmental impact.

When I am a guest in someone’s home and water is offered to me in a single-use bottle, is it impolite to request a glass and some tap water instead? I’m equally bothered when handed a disposable red cup at a party, or food on a Styrofoam plate to consume with plastic utensils.

It’s made all the worse because the gracious hostesses in these particular homes do not recycle. I’m guessing I ought to accept these offerings with gratitude and continue to do my part in my own home, but I wanted to see if you had any other suggestions.

GENTLE READER: Only that you must also consider the human environment. While making conditions better for the world, you should not make them worse for your friends. And having someone accept your hospitality and then criticize it is hurtful.

Miss Manners would like to see you separate your advocacy from your behavior as a guest. Sure, you can ask for a glass of tap water, but that is not the time to explain why. There are other occasions when you can talk with your hosts and other good friends about your convictions, although without targeting their habits.

If they decide to change their ways, it will only be if you are able to convince them of the importance of your beliefs. If you seem to sneer at their tableware, they are not going to invite you back, let alone listen to behavioral advice from someone who has treated them ungraciously.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are very traditional and picky about etiquette, and want to do things right for our wedding.

I think response cards and all the extra things enclosed in wedding invitations are tacky and obnoxious. No one wants piles of paperwork falling out of a wedding invitation when they open it!

What are the absolutely required things to include in the wedding invitation, according to etiquette and tradition -- besides the invitation itself, of course? Should there be hotel information, second envelopes or at-home cards?

Also, if we choose not to include response cards in our invitations, is there a way to make it clear to guests that we do expect a reply in writing, whether they will be attending or not?

GENTLE READER: Not to some people.

Sadly, there are always some who have so little respect for those who know them well enough to invite them to weddings that they never respond. And the nonresponse rate seems to be just as high when response cards are sent, even ones to which deadlines and threats have been added.

So just say to them in plain English, “The favor of a reply is requested,” and hope for the best.

In the past, there were such stuffings as separate reception cards, pew cards and even admittance cards, but Miss Manners is in thorough agreement that the formal invitation should not be diluted with all that practical, but informal, information about logistics. You can post that online or send it by email. And at-home cards are sent after the wedding, not with the invitations, when the couple is not yet officially at home together -- even if we know they are.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I appropriately disengage from a friendship of 15 years?

The person in question, one time too many, rudely intruded into both my home and my enjoyment with another friend. After bumping into my friend at an event, this person put her on the spot, grilled her for where and when we planned to get together, and then announced she would join us. And upon arriving at my home, she walked in without waiting to be greeted at the door. This was the last straw.

GENTLE READER: And yet she persists. Leading Miss Manners to think your friend does not much care if she is invited or not. What makes you think that making it official will help?

If this behavior and its borderline trespassing continues, something not just official, but legal, may be necessary. You may want to tell your friend -- kindly, if it matters -- that you do not wish for it to come to that.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I meet my mother and grandmother out for a meal, they always order their food and begin eating without me. This is not because I am late -- I arrive at the agreed-upon time -- but they always get there early and claim hunger as the reason to start without me.

Both of them instilled strong lessons of politeness and civility in me at a younger age, but now claim they don’t need to adhere “because they are old.”

GENTLE READER: A handy excuse, but clearly, they should know better.

Miss Manners can think of ways to halt this behavior temporarily -- show up even earlier than they do, or invite them to your house instead -- but the underlying reason for the bad behavior is hard to counter. And she knows that you were brought up well enough not to try.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper or improper to say “you’re excused” after someone says “excuse me”?

GENTLE READER: Proper. Unless, of course, it is accompanied by sarcasm, question marks or comments.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The spouse of a relative died, and I attended the celebration of life services. About a week later, I sent a sympathy card with my personal feelings about how he was a role model to me, and how many people attended the services to show how much he was loved.

Since that time, the widow has been out enjoying life with family. I don’t want to call or text her, because it may seem like I am begging for a thank-you. Is it proper to acknowledge the receipt of a sympathy card, or is none to be expected?

GENTLE READER: If a condolence card is used to write an actual letter, it does require a response. However, the bereaved are generally given latitude for its timeliness -- and even allowed to go on enjoying life with their family if they feel so moved.

Contacting the widow to see how she is doing should not be interpreted as a request for acknowledgment of a receipt -- especially, Miss Manners assures you, if you take pains to show that it was not intended as such.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)