DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 23 years old and feel like I’m in a bit of a transition stage with my wardrobe. I enjoy dressing to some of the latest fashion trends, but I also have a sense of sophistication/timelessness when it comes to buying clothing. I feel as though crop tops are a thing of the past, and want to adopt a more sophisticated, yet still fun and youthful, look.

My staple pieces I prefer to buy in a timeless design or color, so that they can be worn throughout the trends and have some class to the item.

I’m in need of a new pair of jeans, and there are three distinct rises: high-rise, mid-rise and low-rise. Which of the three is a more timeless, classic and sophisticated rise?

GENTLE READER: The one whose fit is somewhere between displaying private parts and cutting off their circulation. Reason stands to guess that that is called “mid-rise.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been told twice recently that I “smell good” -- once at my dentist’s office, and once by the property management office when I went in to pay my rent in person.

These are their exact words. Not that my perfume smells good, but that my person smells good.

I do not wear perfume or scents. I just shower every day. I can’t figure out how to respond to this. Just say “thank you”? Or tell them that their compliment is just plain annoying and out of line?

GENTLE READER: While Miss Manners understands that this compliment can easily be construed as lascivious, she is guessing that in most cases, that is not its intention. She therefore requests that you put your annoyance aside and try to accurately read the situation before she gives you permission to adjust the tone of your “Thank you” as needed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have three children, ages 10, 13 and 15. They have normal disagreements and my husband/their dad and I step in when needed to help sort things out.

But they have a few friends who will chime in during sibling disagreements, taking my son’s or daughter’s side against the other sibling.

I’d prefer to have the disagreement managed just among my children, without any extra input from their friends. How can I politely tell those friends to stay out of the sibling conflict? It’s stressful enough without another child (who isn’t my own) adding their opinion.

If I can move the disagreeing siblings to a different area for a chat between just myself and them, I’ll do that. But sometimes this happens in places like a car, where that isn’t an option.

GENTLE READER: There will come a time, Miss Manners warns you, when your children will have partners and spouses of their own -- and trying to prevent them from expressing opinions on one another’s behalf will be a fruitless endeavor.

Your children are getting old enough so that you cannot always intervene in their quarrels. And probably soon will not want to. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that being a neutral and trustworthy outside party will only help strengthen your relationships with them all.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have noticed during my years of passing out candy to trick-or-treaters that there is, on occasion, an infant in a stroller too young to eat actual food, but with a bucket in their stroller and their parents saying “trick or treat” for them.

I usually say something like, “Oh, a baby can’t eat candy,” and don’t put any in their bucket, since it’s obvious that it’s for the parents and not the infant. I will also tell the adults that the candy is for the kids, or sometimes just skip over their bag or bucket. One year, I had an adult get pretty irritated that I said the candy was for the kids.

I feel there is an unwritten rule that trick-or-treating is for kids, not adults. Just like I don’t think that an adult would go sit on Santa’s lap and tell him what they want for Christmas, or have someone hide Easter eggs for them, or have the tooth fairy leave money under their pillow should they lose a tooth.

My husband suggested I ask you: Am I being a candy Scrooge? Should I give candy to infants and adults?

GENTLE READER: It should not surprise Miss Manners to hear that an adult shameless enough metaphorically to steal candy from a baby is willing to use that baby as a shield against adult criticism.

But it does demonstrate that the adult is not confident that the angels are on his side; if so, they would have dispensed with the baby.

By refusing candy, you are calling the adult a liar -- and even liars are offended by such an accusation. Better to play along, ask what candy the baby likes, and hand the requested item to the infant. This will cost you one piece of candy, but it is worth the non-metaphorical problem you have now created for the misbehaving adult.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am annoyed with many people saying to me, “Remind me.” I thought I was dealing with adults.

It can be about almost anything -- an event, giving a donation to a fundraiser, a store or movie they want to visit or see, lunch or dinner get-togethers. I have enough of my own personal agendas to remember for myself.

I have a calendar on my refrigerator for everything. I don’t have space for reminders for other people. Sometimes I say back, “Who’s going to remind ME to remind you?” How can this be handled without seeming sarcastic and sounding snarky?

GENTLE READER: The way to avoid seeming sarcastic or snarky is not to be sarcastic or snarky. “I’m sorry, but you know I have a terrible memory” is blunt without being impolite.

Miss Manners would have thought the more pressing question was how to change these peoples’ behavior. Warning people that you have no intention of reminding them of anything (without using those words) is one way to do this, but assumes you do not care if they forget. If they are asking to be reminded to donate to your charity, a better answer might be, “I would be happy to.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I go to my boyfriend’s house, his teenage daughter (age 15) is usually in her bedroom with the door closed. When she comes out, she will tell her father what she is going to do, but will never even acknowledge that I am sitting there; no “hello,” “hi,” nothing. My boyfriend sits right next to me and sees that she does this, but doesn’t say anything to her.

Is her not saying anything to me considered bad manners, or just normal teenager behavior? Do I greet her first or, if her behavior is considered rude, do I wait for him to correct her?

GENTLE READER: You would have to consult the parent of a teenager to determine what constitutes normal behavior, since teenagers often have trouble recognizing a behavior yardstick against which to measure themselves.

Not being one to accept “but everyone does it” as an answer, Miss Manners confirms that whatever other teenagers may do, this behavior is rude.

But there is no order of greeting: It would be equally rude of you to sit in silence. Say “Hello.” If she pointedly ignores you, then there is a problem to discuss with your boyfriend after she leaves the room.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who takes the liberty of volunteering my time and resources. Two examples:

1. She happened to be visiting when a young person of my acquaintance showed up uninvited, and asked to sleep on my couch. Before I could formulate a reply (which I intended to be negative), Visiting Friend piped up, “Sounds fine to me!”

2. In a logistics discussion involving my daughter, her boyfriend, and a flight arriving at an inconvenient time, Friend said, “I think (my name) should help you out on renting a car.” On that occasion, I shot back, “Way to volunteer my time and money!”

What can I respond next time she does this that will not leave me looking chintzy or inhospitable? She’s the one who’s out of line; why can’t others see that?

GENTLE READER: Others do see that. You had everyone’s sympathy right up to the point of your ill-advised snappy comeback. Had you kept your head, all would have been well.

Miss Manners would have responded with an enormous smile -- meant to demonstrate that your friend’s behavior is amusing because the question was obviously not hers to answer -- followed with, “I do wish that were possible, but it is not.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My British office has decreed that Fridays are “Dress Down Days” and we are encouraged to wear casual clothing. I actually prefer wearing a suit and tie; I feel quite comfortable and I think I look better. Is there a way of answering the, “Why haven’t you dressed down?” questions without sounding like a prig or a snob? Or am I both?

GENTLE READER: You are a gentleman with a proper respect for looking professional. But as Miss Manners fears that your colleagues are not, the best answer may be, “Oh, is today Friday?” or “I have some serious work to do. Maybe next week.”

This will grow less believable each time it is used, but colleagues will also grow weary of asking. They will already have concluded that you are a prig and a snob, but that may be the cost of looking better than they do.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)