DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a divorced woman. An acquaintance who is a married man “waved” to me on social media.

How do I interpret this? Might it be an innocent hello, or is he inviting me to an online flirting relationship? Is it rude not to respond? I have no interest in flirting with a married man.

GENTLE READER: Then don’t ...?

While Miss Manners may not be well-versed on the secret codes of social media flirtation, she is certain that if it is not acceptable to do in real life (or IRL, as the young people call it), then it should not be replicated with icons.

A wave, therefore, seems perfectly innocuous. But of course, if its reciprocation is met with images of more suggestive body parts or items of produce, it can and should be shut down by the enemy of all things internet: silence.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The other day, my family went out to lunch, 15 total in our group. My niece and her husband said they were picking up the tab.

After lunch, the bill came, and my niece asked everyone to guess how much the lunch was. Her husband was appalled, as was I. I tried telling her it was rude to ask everyone to guess how much the bill was. To me it’s like saying, “See how much money we have.”

My niece said it was just a game. I told her game or not, it’s not OK; it’s rude.

Should my niece ask guests to guess the cost of the bill? Her husband said she always does this, and he’s embarrassed by it, but she won’t stop.

GENTLE READER: It is, Miss Manners assures you, rude to ask guests to guess how much gratitude they owe their hosts. And it certainly takes all of the graciousness out of the gesture.

If your niece enjoys guessing games so much, however, perhaps you can suggest that next time she tries to play, her husband say, “Ooooh fun! Now can we guess how much you weigh?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are there rules for behavior of mourners attending a wake/viewing/reception prior to a funeral?

Twice now, I have stood in long, slow-moving lines to express my condolences to the grieving family and found lengthy delays due to extended conversations (sometimes with weeping) that those in front of me have with the bereaved spouse/parent/child. One line did not move forward for 20 minutes, as the mourner and spouse shared extensive memories of the deceased.

Some of us who are older have trouble standing for long periods of time, while others in line may not enjoy being stuck next to the body when the casket is open. It would seem the duty of the funeral home attendants to move the line along, but if that doesn’t happen, what should one do if waiting becomes burdensome? Is it ever appropriate to interrupt?

GENTLE READER: While much of your reasoning is valid, Miss Manners finds it unseemly to chastise mourners for not speeding up the process. Or for weeping.

Funeral attendants, however, may not feel so moved. Seek one out to ask if there are chairs to use while the crowd thins. Or track down a less pivotal family member and ask them to forward condolences on your behalf.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it bad manners to finish someone else’s plate without asking?

I will leave half a sandwich to finish later, and my husband will come along and eat it without even asking if I am going to finish it. And most times it is the only sandwich like it. I cannot duplicate it or remake it.

GENTLE READER: Where are you getting these sandwiches?!

Miss Manners does not mean to suggest that your husband’s behavior is not rude, she is only caught off guard by the notion that your meals are seemingly irreplaceable. Because otherwise, she would suggest that in the interest of marital harmony -- and knowing your husband’s proclivity -- you find a way to procure two sandwiches before sitting down to eat yours. Barring that, you might tell your husband of your intentions to save the rest beforehand. And then quickly wrap it up and hide it from him.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a small house, and family and friends are always welcome. We also have six cats, and their care and comfort are important.

We have to keep our cats separate so they don’t fight (everyone is spayed/neutered; they just don’t get along), so two cats live in what used to be our guest room.

We explain this to our overnight guests, several of whom are allergic to cats and/or don’t like cats, and they still insist everything will be fine. They then refuse to let the cats in the room during the day, while the distressed cats howl and claw the door.

Frankly, I don’t care if the cats take their jewelry, but I do care if the cats choke on it.

There are also simple things that must be done when living with cats, like making sure indoor cats don’t run out the door, keeping toilet lids down, and keeping breakable things out of their reach. It seems our guests simply don’t care, and don’t comply. I don’t see why this is all so hard to understand. The cats need care and consideration; they are not disposable furry houseplants.

To be fair, we stay with these pet-less folks when visiting them, so we can’t ask them not to stay with us. I’ve even tried putting Post-it notes around the house, reminding guests to keep doors and toilet lids closed, etc., which was considered rude. How do we handle this situation politely so there are no hurt feelings?

GENTLE READER: Well, it is too late for the cats, who have already been rudely locked out of their rooms and probably have something to say about it.

Miss Manners does have a certain sympathy for guests who do not wish to be woken up by persistent fur balls looking for fun -- or having their belongings gone through in their absence.

However, you must be more forceful in setting the rules when you issue invitations. “You are so kind to say that you don’t mind cohabitating with the cats, but I am worried that keeping them safe is proving bothersome to you. I understand if you need to find another place to stay and of course, I am happy to do likewise when we visit you.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in an old mill that has been converted to apartments. I know some of my neighbors, but there are many I do not. There’s a lot of us here, and people move in and out frequently.

I like holding the door for others. However, since our apartment has a vestibule door that requires a residency key to enter, other tenants often seem uncomfortable with my holding the door.

What am I to do -- pull the door closed behind me and mouth apologies through the window? Or completely ignore the person and hope I never see them in the laundry room?

GENTLE READER: Spy movies in which the good guy gains access to the old mill by defeating a high-tech, higher-cost security system bore Miss Manners. Partly this is because she is unsporting enough to notice that a halfway attentive guard (the other half presumably playing sudoku) would have foiled the whole plan.

The lesson is that now is the time to introduce yourself to your new neighbors. This will spare you from the other reason Miss Manners avoids the above-mentioned movies, namely, her inability to tell the good guys and the bad guys apart.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don’t speak much Spanish, but I’ve studied it enough to know how to pronounce words and names correctly, more or less. Should I do so in casual conversation?

I often cringe when I hear Americanized pronunciations -- by, for example, sports broadcasters who, as part of their preparation, surely could learn how to pronounce athletes’ names. On the other hand, certain words, such as burrito, are virtually part of American English now, including (perhaps) their American pronunciations.

Is it pertinent whether the person I’m talking to is a native Spanish speaker? I want to put people at their ease, but I also don’t want to seem presumptuous.

GENTLE READER: Ideally, one can find a compromise between atrociously mangling a word and affecting a noticeable accent (which, depending on your fluency, may or may not fool anyone).

Attempts to render the word as would a native speaker are too easily misunderstood -- sometimes as pretentiousness or a sneer, sometimes as simply unrecognizable. Miss Manners notes that names are trickier because mispronunciations can give offense. Fortunately, they come with corporeal owners who can dispense guidance and, as needed, tolerance and forgiveness.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I alternate taking our dog on morning walks. He thinks it’s acceptable to dispose of bagged pet waste in strangers’ garbage cans, if they’ve been rolled out to the sidewalk for pickup that day or if they’re permanently stored at the end of a driveway, adjacent to the sidewalk.

I agree that holding on to the bag for the entirety of the walk is unpleasant, but I wait for disposal until we’ve reached the public garbage cans at our neighborhood park, or until we’ve gotten home. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That no harm is done by additions to a trash can that cannot be seen or smelled. Miss Manners also recommends not getting caught, which will require Mauser to be a cooperating coconspirator.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)