DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend whom I used to be very close to, but we have fallen out of contact. We haven’t seen each other in over a year now, and only talk sporadically. I saw her post on social media that she had lost her grandmother, so I messaged her my condolences and warm thoughts.
We had a short conversation, and then she told me that if I wanted to send flowers, she would give me the address. I was taken aback, because my finances aren’t in a position to be sending flowers to grandmothers (whom I’ve never met) of friends I’m only loosely in touch with. What is an appropriate way to respond?
GENTLE READER: No doubt your friend has become used to fielding questions about what people can do to honor her grandmother, and mindlessly gave you the suggestion and the address.
Had she made a demand or created a registry, Miss Manners would fault her, but that was not the case here. The proper response is “Thank you,” with no need to follow up with flowers. Instead, you may use that address to write her a letter of condolence -- and perhaps in the process, reignite the friendship.